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Sam has been watching Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes for a year. No, it wasn’t as creepy as it sounded. In fact, it was their fault entirely. Actually, it was all Steve’s fault. That’s who Sam was going to blame at least.
A tour in Afghanistan had messed Sam up pretty bad. He didn’t like to talk about it, but he was fine. Psychically fine at least. The rest he was working on. He had realized his depression was getting worse, so he went to get help. The VA did a lot more than he had thought they would and at first he had been resistant to therapy. He had wanted help more than he wanted his pride.
Half a year later Sam was better, not perfect, but better. He had found that running was a big help, along with routine so that’s what he was doing. Every morning at seven a.m Sam left his house to go jogging. There was a nice circuit around the Washington Monument that passed by the Lincoln Memorial that he liked. Naturally, he didn’t run all of it. That was too long, but he did his best. For the most part, he was on his own. There were a few other people, probably people who liked running, that were out, but they all kept to themselves.
Then there was one fall day. Sam had been running for about an hour when he felt a shoulder brushed against his. “On your left.”
Sam stumbled his eyes going wide. He watched a blond streak of muscle flying down the path, laughing as he went. Then that was the end of that. Well, at least that was what he thought. Sometimes travelers would take their run in the park and be gone. Since he hadn’t seen that form before he assumed that this was one of those cases and kept running. Except it kept happening. The next day in the same place Sam felt a brush against his shoulder. “On your left.”
Stupidly Sam stumbled again and the blond man kept laughing. Okay, so that wasn’t a one-time thing then. What the hell? “Asshole,” Sam hissed the third day and the man laughed louder.
The fourth day Sam was aware enough and expecting it to be able to turn his head at the exact moment to catch his face. He was a beautiful-
“On your left.”
“Asshole,” Sam yelled after him.
This was really unfair. He watched him fade into the distance with a sigh. Not only did this man have a nice body, but his face was also stunning. It really wasn’t fair. The fifth day wasn’t any different but the man did look back this time as he zipped past to smile at Sam felt his heart thud out of its normal rhythm. Like he said the man was an asshole.
The sixth day it happened again, but as Sam came to his usual resting place he saw the man leaning against a tree. His eyes widened and the man smirked. “You’re a jerk, do you know that,” he demanded with a soft grin.
“I’ve been told that a few times,” he answered with a soft mischievous smile.
Sam didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t know what his plan had been when he had started to march up to this man. However, he didn’t want to leave either. The man pushed away from the tree and held out his hand. He was a giant and Sam could definitely appreciate it. “I’m Steve Rogers,” he announced.
Sam shook his hand. “I’m Sam Wilson,” he answered, “so you’re new in the area then?”
Steve looked surprised. “How could you tell?”
Sam raised an eyebrow. Yeah like a lot of people got up at dawn and went running for no reason. He knew all of the usuals who were around during this time. “I would have recognized the face if you had been coming here before.”
He watched big hands slip into the pockets of running sweats. “I just got off my tour,” he answered with a shrug, “I feel like if I’m not up and moving, I’m stuck.’
Steve was looking down at Sam’s sweater, his air force one. Sam bit his lip. Oh. “Yeah, I feel that. Were you air force,” he asked.
There was a small shake of Steve’s head. “Army,” he answered his eyes looking around the park scanning, and Sam knew that feeling pretty well.
“How are you feeling being back,” Sam asked.
Steve shrugged looking a little hopeless. “Better than other people I know,” he answered, “and I’m alive, so I should be grateful right?”
He understood that feeling really well. Sam shook his head. “Hey. No. Steve your feelings are valid and whatever anyone else is experiencing doesn’t take away or lessen what you are going through. Have you tried going to the VA yet?”
Steve gave him a look that said, no he had not gone to the VA and hadn’t thought about it either. However, there was a look of contemplation that said he might consider doing that. Sam hoped that maybe Steve would go, but he wasn’t going to push. “Anyways,” Steve answered, “so I really know how to get around the park. I haven’t really found a good coffee shop yet. Maybe you could help me out.”
Sam watched as a slow blush crawled up Steve’s face. He laughed. Oh god. This asshole had been flirting with him. Damn. Sam nodded. “I think that I could manage that.”
The coffee was nice. They had pretty good chemistry and exchanged numbers. Sam felt pretty good and on the next day, Steve didn’t blow past him. Instead, Steve snuck up behind him. “Don’t say it,” Sam demanded as Steve jogged in silence for a moment.
“On your left!”
Steve took off and Sam chased after him at full speed. They both laughed breathlessly and grinned so wide their cheeks hurt.
Saturday evening Sam went to the VA a group counseling session he had been going to for the past few months. The group was open to anyone no matter their situation and even though the subject was heavy Sam always felt welcomed and sometimes a few of them were able to joke around. It was nice to be able to laugh, especially with people who understood what you were going through. He took his usual seat in the back of the room and leaned back in his chair. His head hit something soft and Sam squeaked a little in surprise jerking and managed to knock himself and the chair over.
Laughter barked in his ears and Sam glared up. There was a large dark-haired man standing behind the fallen chair and looking down at him. Sam scanned his eyes over him. His hair was ununiformed and shaggy like he was growing it out with no real care to it. Getting it long for the sake of it being long. He had bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. All of his clothes were dark and baggy and Sam wasn’t going to be surprised if the man had more than a few weapons on him. He looked pretty fresh out and in a bad way. Despite all that, the man had strong cheekbones, and plump lips and Sam felt a little breathless looking into his stormy eyes. Damn, how did two attractive men bump into him in one week? “Need a hand,” the guy said dryly.
Sam looked up at his hand and took it. The man pulled him to his feet, and let out a bit of muffled laughter. The man had lost his arm. He raised his eyebrow as if daring him to joke back. “I might not, but you look like you could use a hand.”
The man laughed harder. “You’re an asshole,” he declared,” but thanks. Everyone is too afraid to joke with me.”
“With that ugly mug,” Sam asked, “how could I not?”
The guy shoved him. “I’m Bucky Barnes.”
“Sam Wilson,” he answered and then straightened his chair up and motioned for Bucky to sit next to him, though he thought he saw a glint of some kind of recognition in the other man’s eyes.
Bucky nodded and sat down. Sam didn’t bother him with questions because he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would want to be bothered with questions. Instead, they listened to the meeting in silence sitting next to each other. When the meeting was over Bucky looked back over at him. “Do you want to go get dinner?”
Sam wasn’t sure if this was a flirting thing or a friend thing. Either way, he agreed to go. Dinner with Bucky was great. The man was funny and dark, and kind. Very clearly just got out, watched the doors sat with his back against the wall a few loud sounds made him jump. Despite that Sam agreed to see him again Monday night, and they exchanged phone numbers.
He wasn’t really sure what to do at first. It seemed like two different guys might be interested in him, and Sam really liked both of them. They never said any of their outings were dates so he didn’t know how serious any of this was so he didn’t mind seeing both of them. It had gone on like that for about three months. Then Sam had seen Steve at the VA. Sam had gone to drop off some paperwork and he had seen Steve standing in the lobby. Sam felt giddy at the idea that Steve had finally reached out for some professional help. Steve was actually pretty depressed when things came down to it and Sam was pretty sure some therapy could do him some good.
One of the ladies at the desk noticed him looking at Steve and grinned. “Handsome isn’t he,” she chirped, “and he’s really sweet. He’s waiting for his boyfriend right now. They were both in the army, and he comes over to pick up his boyfriend from therapy.”
Boyfriend? The word hit him like a ton of bricks. Oh. Who was Steve’s boyfriend? Why hadn’t Steve told him about this? So they hadn’t been dates then, Sam had misread the signals. He was an idiot. Sam needed to leave before Steve could see him or before the emotions inside him could snap and lash out. Then it got worse. Bucky walked out of the therapist's office and took Steve’s hand. His eyes widened. No.
His heart jerked. He was such a fucking idiot. “Aren’t they the perfect couple,” the lady asked.
Sam gave a dull nod. Of course, they were the perfect couple. It made so much sense. Steve was so cheery and playful he balanced out perfectly with Bucky who was grumpy and rough. They looked perfect next to each other night and day. Their eyes gave it away to. They looked at each other with so much love. “You should hear the way they brag about each other too,” the lady giggled.
Both men looked up and their eyes met Sam’s twin looks of happiness spread over their face. They even smiled together and it was too late for Sam to make an escape. He braced himself willing all the emotions to get out of his face and his body to relax. “Hey Sam,” Steve shined.
Bucky gave him a lazy grin. “What are you creeping around a place like this Wilson,” Bucky sassed.
Sam felt bile rise in his throat. They were both in a relationship and flirting with him, getting coffee and dinner, and texting at late hours of the night. None of them had ever called it dates or a relationship so he supposed it was all his fault for assuming. For wanting. “Just turning in some paperwork,” he responded easily, “what are you two doing here?”
He dropped the ‘together’ part out of his question. It wasn’t hard to miss what they were doing here together. “Therapy,” Steve answered looking guilty, “Bucky is seeing that therapist you suggest for me.”
Sam huffed rolling his eyes. “I’m not sure if I should be happy for you Bucky or pissed at Steve that you didn’t take my suggestion and just passed it on.”
“Probably both,” Steve chuckled.
“Anyways,” Bucky drawled out, “want to go get lunch with us?”
“Yes.”
No. Sam mentally groaned. How did he just say yes to that? They were both looking at him so hopeful and kind. How was he supposed to say no? Which lead to one of the most delightful lunches of his life and nine months of misery.
As great as Steve and Bucky were apart they were even better together. To Sam’s surprise, their chemistry between each other didn’t overshadow the chemistry they had with him. It felt like the chemistry between all of them had been amplified and it was a problem. He liked them both. He liked them far too much and it crushed him.
Sam kept running with Steve and getting coffee, and he kept going out to dinner with Bucky and sitting next to each other in the group, but now they were inviting him over for brunch, and dinner, and movie night, and cards and Sam could barely stand it. He was delusional. He wanted both of them so much that he just hallucinated their interest in him. It was the best thing to assume because if he was wrong then the most beautiful, loving, and supportive couple he had ever met was flirting with other men and that wasn’t okay.
Sam had been watching Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes for a year now, and it was all their fault. If Steve had never messed with him while jogging Sam wouldn’t be hopelessly in love with two men who were already dating each other. He was the worst third wheel in history. It wasn’t even like he wanted them to separate so he could have a chance with one of them. No, they were the best most beautiful couple to ever exist and Sam couldn’t get in the way of that. No more than he already had.
Currently, he was sitting on their couch sandwiched between the two men. Bucky was being precious and sleeping on his lap, while he ran his fingers through his hair. It was so long now. Bucky had hated being in the army and as soon as they had left he started to grow it out. It was hanging past his shoulders now. Steve basically had Sam in his lap rubbing his back as a movie played on the tv screen in front of him. It was so domestic and peaceful. On the screen, a man looked between three women in shock and denial as he realized that they all knew he had been cheating on them with each other. Sam suddenly couldn’t handle this for another damn second his breath refusing to come out and tears leaking down his cheeks.
“Sam,” Steve asked stopping his rubbing and grabbing onto his hand.
Sam jerked violently away waking up Bucky who sat up completely straight and alert. “Sam,” Bucky voice came out small and confused his hand reaching up to wipe away the tears.
He scrambled off the couch and started to run for the door. Instead of reaching the door he felt twin hands lock around his wrist and pull him back into strong arms. Sam sobbed. “Woah. What just happened,” Steve asked.
Sam could feel Bucky’s hand working it’s way up to his cheeks to wipe away the tears. “Let go of me.”
They did, but he could feel their hesitancy and concern. Sam whirled on them. “I can’t,” he screamed, “I can’t do this anymore! I can’t sit here between the two of you while you love each other and I love both of you, and you both flirt with me. You’re both cruel assholes.”
Steve and Bucky looked a little stricken and Sam felt a wave of intense panic and regret hit him. He shook his head and tried to will the words back into his mouth. He couldn’t take them back though. The words were true and now at least they would finally get rid of him and he wouldn’t have to keep torturing himself like this. “I love you too.”
There was nothing that would have ever happened to Sam to make him expect that answer. Yet Steve was smiling happily as he looked at Sam. “Me too,” Bucky agreed, “I love you.”
“What,” Sam demanded, “you’re dating. You’re the best couple anyone has ever seen, you can’t.”
Steve and Bucky both shrugged. “I guess this is our fault,” Steve sighed, “I’m sorry that we made you so upset Sam, but we were scared to tell you and ruin what was between the three of us.”
“We aren’t monogamous,” Bucky declared as Sam’s head spun, “we’re actually poly. To be specific, what we want is to be two parts of a Triad.”
Steve nodded. “In high school, Bucky and I had been dating since middle school already but then Peggy Carter moved to America from Great Britain, and well we both developed a crush on her, and I guess you could just tell because she suggested we become a Triad, and it worked for us. Unfortunately, Peggy moved back home after high school and we broke up with her, or I guess she broke up with us, and we’ve felt off ever since then.”
“Steve came home one week and he couldn’t shut up about this handsome, funny, and thoughtful guy he had met running in the park, and I couldn’t get the description out of my mind. Then I met you at the VA and I felt like I needed to see how I felt about you,” Bucky continued.
“And we both thought it worked out pretty well and we started to develop feelings for you, but before we suggested anything we wanted to make sure you would work well with both of us. And then neither of us could bare the idea of losing you, so we didn’t tell you,” Steve explained, “Sam I’m so sorry.”
Sam sobbed again his shoulders dropping confused but so relieved. He let Bucky touch his cheek now and get rid of the tears. He didn’t even know how to handle this, but somehow the pair got him onto the couch. Sam was crying out a years worth of frustration and feelings and they were there and they wanted him. He had never even thought of wanting this but with everything before him like this, he felt like he had everything in the world.
“We have a lot to talk about, “Steve declared in his nobly righteous way, “but we’d like it if you would date us.”
He nodded. “We’re going to have a couple of long talks about it,” he declared, “but I want that too.”
Sam Wilson had been watching at Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes for over a year now, and no it wasn’t as creepy as it sounds. After all, anyone with two amazing boyfriends like that would be watching them as well.