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Dearest Elsa,
I had a baby!! A real-life baby that I pushed out of me! And he has ten little fingers and ten little toes! I know Kristoff is going to send you a telegram (which in my opinion is a very expensive and very undetailed form of communication), but I just had to let that be my opening statement.
Little Oskar Agnarr Bjorgman is here! And we couldn’t be more thrilled with him! He is healthy and happy as a baby boy could possibly be! He’s a bit small (he came just a little bit early – clearly eager to get here - his mother’s son), but he’s eating like a little champion (did you now babies have to learn to eat?? I didn’t!), and growing day by day!
Mrs. Olsen (our neighbor) was here to help deliver him. Thank goodness! I had no idea I was in labor and it was Kristoff who realized it and went for her. He insists that if it had come to it, he would have been able to deliver Oskar, as he has delivered several cows (COWS, Elsa!), but I for one, am very grateful Mrs. Olsen was there (she’s had 7 children herself, and delivered 3 others).
Let me tell you, it hurt like ---- Yes, I did write a swear word and cross it out. You can probably still see it beneath my pen marks. I know the language is crude, but I have no eloquent words to describe to you how terrible the pain was. It. was. terrible. Luckily, Mrs. Olsen says I have good ‘birthing hips’ (whatever that means?), and she said she’s never seen a baby come so well. I gave two pushes and he was here!
And once he was here all that pain went away! He is just so precious! And so beautiful! And I made him! He gave such pitiful little cries, and his eyes opened wide to look at me when Mrs. Olsen laid him on my chest. His eyes are already so much like Kristoff’s, it just makes my heart want to burst.
It took us a little while to figure out what to name him (I was being so indecisive), but Mary stumbled upon Oskar, and Kristoff suggested using Father's name as the middle name. I think it goes together quite nicely, don't you? Besides. He looks like an Oskar Agnarr. Very regal sounding (ha, ha, ha, I jest).
The few days after the birth were actually the worst bit of all. Not because of Oskar! He was an absolute angel, and I adore him. But I had no idea how much I didn’t know about babies (Mrs. Olsen has been an absolute angel and has been coming over and teaching me so much) so that was overwhelming. The thing that really threw me was how hard the healing process would be. I mean, I’m still recovering. But I’m doing much better now, and I’m getting the hang of this mothering thing fairly quickly. Kristoff says I’m a natural.
Oh, and Kristoff!! He has been my everything the past few days. He’s been finishing all the housework for me, he’s insured that I’m comfortable, and that I have everything I need. Really, the way he whirls around you’d think he was a cyclone. A very kind and helpful cyclone.
And when he holds Oskar and marvels about how small he is, and rocks him to sleep I think I could die of happiness. I’m not going to obviously, but it’s just the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.
Mary is so helpful, too. She’s such a sweet big sister! Right now she’s laying with Oskar on the floor and talking to him about all the barnyard kittens and he is watching her so intently. I mean, obviously he’s a baby, and he has absolutely not a single clue what she’s saying, but the way he’s staring at her is so endearing.
Mary’s helpfulness is almost problematic. Kristoff and I are trying to balance her willingness to help with the fact that she is still a child. Because while I appreciate her desire to be involved (to burp Oskar and cuddle him, and change his nappys) I do NOT want her to sacrifice her childhood to be a nursemaid. So, we’re trying to find ways to make her go play without crushing her spirit and giving nature. I think we’re getting there.
Actually, seeing Oskar, so small and so precious makes me ache that I didn’t get to have this with Mary. I mean, she doesn’t call me ‘mother’ or ‘mamma’, and I would never ask her to, but I know that’s what I am to her. I wish I could have seen her when she was this small and held her close and let her wrap her little fingers around my pinky. Is that weird?
I suppose that’s a bit selfish of me. I am actually marvelously grateful that her mother got to have as much of this priceless time with her as she did. I hope Nuliajuk (Mary’s mother) knows (wherever she may be… heaven, the afterlife?) that I love Mary just like I do my own child, and I will never ever take her for granted.
Oh no, now I’m crying. I’ve been doing that lately. Mrs. Olsen insists that it’s completely normal – it’s just my body adjusting to the fact that I no longer have a baby inside me. But it’s rather annoyi
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Sorry, about that ink blot. I was writing the word ‘annoying’ when Kristoff came and told me I needed a cuddle. I did, actually. I fell right to sleep in his arms. Then Oskar was hungry and then he needed a nap too (but not after he had the most horrific bowel movement I have ever seen – had to throw out the nappy).
Anyway. I won’t keep prattling on.
I do hope you can come join us at Christmas time. I know you said you and Olaf doing mind sharing a room (as you do it all the time when you’re on the road), so we can easily move Mary into our bedroom for a couple of weeks (if you can swing it?? Hopefully you can??). We can put you up in the front bedroom and have Olaf sleep in the living area if that’s more comfortable?
You also hinted at the possibility that Olaf does not ‘fancy’ anybody… and that you don’t fancy men? I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised, and it in absolutely no way bothers Kristoff or I... In fact, we both hope you can find someone who is like you and be as happy as we are! I’m sorry is that something that’s remarkably rude to ask in a letter? I was just curious? Sorry for all the unnecessary question marks. Maybe I was just reading into your last letter too much?
Also, Mary says she loves you and misses you, too! Kristoff says hello and he hopes you are well. Oskar gave a particularly hearty burp that I just know meant he’s dying to meet you (I’m his mother, I can tell these things)!
Come if you can!
Much love,
Your favorite sister,
Anna
p.s. Who is Honeymaren?!