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Rayla squared her shoulders. She wasn’t scared. She was a Moonshadow elf, she was an assassin, she was now a part of the dragon guard. It wasn’t in her blood to be scared.
And yet, she hardly wanted to leave the safety of the cave. She certainly did not want to be standing where she was, at the top of the storm spire. But, she refused to allow herself to be afraid, she was going to sit with her feet dangling off the edge as she had just a few mornings ago. Before her fall.
She shivered, unsure if it was from the cold wind blowing past or from the memory of nearly plummeting to her death. In the moment it had all seemed so simple, save Zym. That was her objective at all costs, she hadn’t been scared of dying. In all honesty, she still wasn’t, she had trained for danger, dying was part of the job. So why? Why was she so scared of getting close to the edge?
“Hey, what brings you up here?”
Rayla jumped and instinctively drew her blades.
“Woah, woah!” Callum put his hands up in an ‘i surrender’ position.
“Sorry.” She sheathed her knives as fast as she had drawn them. She was more on edge than she thought, not on the type of edge she wanted, unfortunately.
“Everything okay?” Callum asked, his voice was gentle but confident.
“Yeah, just like the view,” Rayla replied, looking to the side.
Callum took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Rayla this has got to be one of the cloudiest days up here, what view?” He smiled. “You can talk to me.”
Her shoulders slumped and she took a step closer to lean against him. “The clouds are very nice to look at,” she mumbled into his shoulder.
He squeezed her hand again, she knew if she didn’t continue he would push her for more, it was endearing and annoying all in one very nice package.
“I don’t want to be scared but I am,” she said at last.
“Rayla,” Callum started with a soft exacerbated laugh. “You almost died jumping off this cliff, it makes sense that you’d bee afraid, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re still one of - wait no- you’re still the bravest person I know.” He wrapped an arm around her waist holding her close.
“Yes, but I can’t afford to be afraid of heights! If a mission calls for me to jump off I have to be willing and able to do it. And to get into my freaking home I have to fall down a giant tree! And! I’m guarding a dragon there are going to be times I need to be okay flying!” Her hand not in his rested on his shoulder, supporting her as she leaned back to look at him as she ranted, while still staying close.
“You jumped off a cliff to save Zym, I’m sure, fear or not, you’ll always do what you feel is right,” Callum stated, pulling her in closer with his hand around her waist. “Even if it’s very dumb and dangerous.”
Rayla pulled away from him, turning to the side and crossing her arms. “You don’t get it.”
Through the corner of her eyes, she could see a flash of hurt cross his face making her feel even worse.
“You’re right.” He steeled himself. “I don’t because I’m afraid of everything and you’re so brave and strong and smart and just-” he stopped himself with a sigh. “I can go on but the point is Rayla, this is normal. There’s nothing wrong with being scared of the thing that almost killed you, even if you feel like you shouldn’t be. Don’t let the fear consume you. I know you and you will get over it, but it doesn't have to be in the same week!”
She looked back at him, though his words had been stern his eyes were gentle. He lifted his hand for her to take which she did and stepped back closer to him, her cheeks tinged pink.
“I just-” she took a breath “don’t like being scared.”
“No one does,” he said before his eyes lit up, “wait I have an idea.”
“Wow impossible,” she laughed, her mood lightening.
He pouted at her before saying with a smile, “do you want to try going for a flight?”
Rayla’s eyes went wide, the thought of flying with him was both exhilarating and terrifying. Maybe exactly what she needed. She was confident she’d be safe in his arms - er- wings.
With a pause, at last, she nodded, “That’s a surprisingly good idea.” she smiled, soft but teasing.
Callum grinned, “And here I thought you only kept me around for my charm and good looks.”
“Me too.” She giggled pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before he took a step back.
“Manus, Pluma, Volantus.”
His arms turned into giant brown bird wings, a strange but cool sight. Rayla looped her arms around his neck, unfortunately, he couldn’t hold her and fly but she trusted her own strength.
“You ready?” he asked, their faces so close it made her dizzy to look at him.
As much as her heart was beating and her palms were sweating, she felt safe with Callum. He’d been the one who caught her, he’d saved her from dying multiple times before that too, and while this probably wouldn’t get rid of her fear completely it was taking a step, a leap, in the right direction. So, she ignored the growing bubble of nerves in her chest and nodded.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
With a few flaps of his wings, they were off.
It was as frightening and amazing as she had expected. As soon as she had felt them take off she had instinctively closed her eyes tight, only to slowly open them and see Callum looking ahead and taking protective glances at her, it warmed her heart. They couldn’t talk much because of the wind whipping around them but they didn’t need to.
The cloudy day helped comfort her as she began to look around, the view obscured so they couldn't tell how high they really were. It was perfect, she could no longer tell if the nerves beating in her chest was from fear or the way Callum looked at her. She recalled the last time they had been like this when they had declared their love for one another.
She still wasn’t over her fear and maybe she never completely would be, but as long as she had him holding her close she knew it would all be okay.
She pulled herself up a little more to speak in his ear. “Thank you, Callum, I love you.”
She didn’t even mind the way they fell a little as he faltered at her words before regaining his composure and flapping and gliding cleanly again. His face red and smile wide.
“I love you too Rayla.”