Archive of Our Own

"S'cuse me, sorry." Alex muttered halfheartedly as he made his way through the crowd of people occupying the area near the tables. He kept his head low, focusing on his shoes rather than the countless amounts of influencers surrounding him. The club was pounding with noise and a large crowd, but all Alex wished for was to be in his hotel room, to be secluded from all the eager eyes. He had never been the social type in the first place, but recently the social gatherings his job required was far too much for Alex to handle. All he had to do was last a few more hours to keep George and Will happy, and then he could retreat to the seclusion and safety of his room.

Just a few more hours, he reminded himself, just a little longer.

Raising his head by the smallest amount, Alex quickly scanned the crowded room for his friends. It took a few seconds, but he managed to recognise Will's loud laughter and charming smile as his northern accent entranced a random female influencer before making his way over to him.

He took a seat at their table, sliding in silently beside Will, who immediately stopped at the presence of the younger male. Will smiled brightly, his arm wrapping around Alex in a supportive and friendly way as he continued charming the stranger beside him. George rolled his eyes, crossing his legs underneath him. He was too busy scrollong through his phone to care too much about either of his friends.

The girl laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand at an attempt of subtle flirting. Alex almost rolled his own eyes, but managed to keep his manners in check and keep focus on his drink. Will awkwardly shuffled closer to him. He clearly wasn't enjoying the female's attention anymore.

Silence filled the air, Alex twirling the straw in his drink in circles in hopes of clearing the awkwardness. The girl cleared her throat before standing up.

"I best be off," she smiled politely, "it was lovely meeting you Will, and..."

Neither of the other two answered her, so she just decided to leave.

"Well-" Alex began, before getting interrupted.

"Shame really, she seemed like a nice lass."

Alex's head immediately raised, his heart shattering at the familiar friendly yet sarcastic tone he had heard a thousand times before.

"No way mate, never thought you'd come!" Will shouted, jumping to his feet and pulling James into a hug. He leant over Alex, the youngest turning his head away sadly at the scene. He felt someone pat his arm in sympathy, and turned his head. Beside James stood Fraser, and Alex smiled gratefully at his friend's support.

George coughed, and Will slowly let go of James. He gave Fraser a pat on the shoulder before taking his seat again.

"Would be nice to all be treated equally William, but each to their own I suppose."

"You'd kill me if I jumped on you like that mate." Will laughed, taking a sip of Alex's drink. Alex didn't mind, after all his thirst had suddenly disappeared.

"Too right I would." George muttered. He looked at Alex for a second too long, almost trying to convey an apology to him for James' sudden appearance, but Alex couldn't blame George. After all, they were all friends. Alex wouldn't stop that, he couldn't stop that.

"Gonna move up mate so we can all sit down?" James asked, following the question with a chuckle. Alex forced a smile on his face as he moved closer to Will, allowing James to sit beside him. Will patted his leg sympathetically, casting his eyes down in shame. Alex smiled reassuringly at him.

"Well, I guess you gotta come sit with me then Fraser." George laughed, pocketing his phone to smile at the taller of the two. Fraser smiled.

"Actually, I was gonna go get a drink." He replied. "But I'd be more than happy to sit with you."

"Sounds good with me, mind if I join?" George asked. Fraser nodded, and the two went to walk off before Will piped up.

"Can I come?" He asked, already climbing over Alex to join the two. George rolled his eyes.

"You want anything Al?" George asked, eyeing Alex one more time to check on him. Alex shook his head.

"I'm fine, thanks Gee." He replied.

"You coming James?" Fraser asked. James shook his head.

"Nah, you're alright lads." He smiled. The three nodded, walking off, chatting happily between themselves.

Alex's false smile immediately dropped as he moved as far away from James as possible. James shrugged.

"How've you been?" James asked casually, taking out his phone to check his notifications. Alex's eyes widened in shock

"Are... are you being serious?" Alex asked. James looked up, his face gleaming with a smile.

"Why wouldn't I be? We're mates, just checking on you."

"How could you say that?" Alex whispered. "We're hardly friends, James."

"Lex, please-"

"Don't you dare." Alex spat, tears collecting in his eyes. James smile dropped slightly.

"Dont touch me." Alex spat. James lowered his arms, moving back into his seat without a word.

"What's going on with you.." James whispered sadly as he moved back. A tear cascaded down Alex's cheek, and he furiously rubbed it away. James' eyes glazed over with an unfamiliar sight of sadness before he blinked it away.

James sighed, turning away from the younger boy. He psyched himself into his usual happiness; he took a few deep breathes, checking his phone one more time before turning back to Alex, a bright smile plastered on his face.

"Nice place, isn't it? Sure, the people seem desperate, but it would be quite nice if it wasn't busy." James chuckled. Alex stayed silent. James paused for a response before continuing the conversation nonetheless.

"Man, it's been so rough lately. Monetization has been kicking my ass, so I've been looking forward to this for a while."

Still, no response.

"Have you seen Fraser's new dog? I'm not a dog guy, but it's the cutest thing, you have to-"

"You're serious aren't you?" Alex asked, his voice cracking. He quickly covered it up with a cough. James stopped searching his phone for a picture, his full attention on Alex.

"What do you mean?"

So naive. So innocent. Alex remembers those names James had called him, and how ironic it was of James to suddenly play the fool.

"You pretending it never happened, aren't you?"

Tears freely fell from Alex's eyes, and he didn't bother to stop them this time. James wasn't worth his tears, and he had already cried too many, but he didn't have much other choice.

"What happened? Lex, mate, what's up with you-"

"Was I that much of a mistake?" Alex asked quietly, his voice shaking. James' shoulders lowered as he stopped. He went to speak several times before stopping himself. His mouth almost hung open in a pitiful O shape before he managed to form a well-articulated sentence.

"You were never a mistake, Lex." James whispered softly, taking Alex's hand into his own. Alex pulled his hand away harshly, settling it in his lap.

"Then why did you leave me? Why did you cheat on me?" He asked, voice cracking and raising as he ran a hand through his hair. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

"Lets not get things wrong here-"

"Tell me, James!"

"It wasn't you I was cheating on! It was her!"

Alex's heart stopped. He looked up through his blurred vision, tears slowing as he processed the words. His mouth quivered as his chest shuddered. He tried to calm his breathing.

"You told me you loved me." He whispered brokenly. "You... you told me you-"

"I'm sorry." James murmured, his gaze casted away.

"You liar! You aren't sorry, you never were!"

James shook his head desperately. His gaze raised to meet Alex's, but Alex refused to look at him.

"Lex, I am." James promised. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did!" Alex spat. "You hurt me, more than I had ever been hurt before. You knew how broken I was and you broke me even more."

"It wasn't my intention-"

"What was your intention then, James? To humiliate me?! To-"

"To have a bit of fun! That's all it was Alex, you just got too attached."

Alex paused, a sob clawing it's way through his throat. He refused to let it out, swallowing a couple of times as he breathed. Biting his lip, he rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away the hurt James had left him with.

"Lex, look, I didn't mean it like that-"

"I think you were clear enough." Alex responded, coughing as he tried to clear his throat. He smiled again, as false as ever as he sipped his sadness away with his drink.

"Alex, I loved you, I really did-"

"You don't have to lie, James." Alex murmured calmly. He placed his hand on James' shoulder. "I get it; I was never going to be enough."

"Lex, you are, for someone, I promise-"

"Shh.." Alex whispered sadly, running his fingers through James' hair lovingly. It made him sick, such a romantic gesture wasted on scum like James, but nevertheless he continued carding his fingers through the knotted locks. James turned to him, his eyes narrowed.

"Why are you so calm about this? Why aren't you screaming? Just fucking say something Al!"

"Not all of us have to shout to get out point across." Alex smiled solemnly. "Not all of us enjoy shouting at people to upset them, to hurt them, to degrade them."

"You didn't fight for us either!" James suddenly burst, glaring at Alex. "How is it my fault that you didn't fight for what we supposedly had either?"

"How could I?" Alex spat, his calmness diminished as he looked into James' eyes. "You blocked me! You changed your number! You and Fraser moved! I couldn't fight for you, you didn't let me!"

"There wasn't anything worth fighting for."

"Maybe not for you, but there was for me! I fucking loved you, and you left me for some slag!"

"She's not a slag!" James shouted, towering over Alex as he rose to his feet. Alex reeled back in fear, his eyes widening as he raised his arms to protect himself. "Don't you dare make her out to be a whore! She's not the one who advanced on a taken man!"

"You never told us you had a girl-"

"It was fucking obvious. You were too fucking desperate to care! Don't blame your selfish, horny ways on me Alex, because it damn well wasn't my fault!"

"How-"

"Just fuck off Alex! I just wish you were fucking dead sometimes! I'd be so much fucking happier if you were."

"Oh." Alex whispered sadly, lowering his hands into his lap. All his tears had dried up, a dull numbness falling over his body. He didn't hear the apologies tumbling out of James' mouth. He didn't hear the loud music blaring from the speakers a few feet behind them. He didn't hear his glass smash on the floor.

With glazed eyes, Alex unsteadily stood to his feet. Looking up, he could see George running over, his drink shoved into Fraser's hand before taking off.

"I'm sorry for having wasted your time, James." He smiled. "If I could give it back, I would-"

"The fuck did you say that for Marriott, I swear to fucking God-"

"- but I can't, so I can only apologise. If I'd have known I was a waste of time and energy, I wouldn't have made you put up with me."

"Alex fucking ignore him, he's an ass-"

"Alex wait, please." Fraser added, grabbing onto Alex's arm gently with an urgent sense of desperation. Alex calmly shouldered him off, shooting him an apologetic smile in return.

"Alex please, you weren't a waste." James pleaded, grabbing onto Alex's hand as the smaller boy climbed over him to leave. Alex turn to face him one last time, a false smile plastered on his face as tears shielded his eyes from James' solemn gaze. He squeezed  James' hand once before letting him go.

"Goodbye James." He whispered to his ex, glancing at him once last time before taking his leave.