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Changmin knew this was wrong. It was so so wrong. But his actions and his continuous whines told the other boy otherwise. He hadn't even done much to the younger boy yet said boy kept whining and pushing himself further onto Younghoon, invading more of his space than he thought possible. Not that he minded.
Meanwhile, Younghoon continued to leave soft kisses up and down his neck, making sure to spend a little more time caressing his adorable ears with his lips, knowing how much Changmin loved it. True to character, the younger boy was melting on the spot. The former having to wrap two hands around his waist to keep him from losing balance.
The pair continued to kiss and kiss until Changmin was slowly becoming a hot mess. Younghoon couldn't help but giggle into his wet and softly bruised lips, amused by Changmin's lack of self-control. He slowly pulled away, leaving one last light peck on the younger's lips to quell the saddening groan Changmin made at the loss of contact. Younghoon instead rested his forehead against Changmin's, bringing his right hand up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, his left one still tightly holding onto his waist. Their breath mixed together, while Changmin was slowly regaining himself and his whereabouts. Their proximity was close but not as close as Changmin would have liked. But they couldn't stay in the closet forever. They had to get back to class eventually.
Changmin leaned up and left one final, lasting kiss against Younghoon's lips before finally backing away. He leaned against the farthest wall (which wasn't very far) in the small room, groaning once more and thudding the back of his head against it. Younghoon could tell he was upset. But he knew better than to try and comfort the other boy, so instead he just chose to head towards the exit.
"I'll see you later, okay?"
He didn't receive a verbal answer, but a wave of a hand telling him to go instead. He sighed, rubbing his hand through his thick locks. He gave the small boy one last fleeting look before departing. Changmin was left alone, like usual, to wallow in his sadness.
The two had broken up a while back due to social differences. Not their doing, but they both blindly went along with it. They had only dated for maybe three weeks, so they both thought that it would be easy to not be a couple anymore. They were wrong.
At first, it was kind of easy to not even think about the other. Classes and other school activities kept them preoccupied. They both had different club interests, hence the social difference, so it's not like they ran into each other often. And even better is that they only shared two classes with each other, which they managed to handle with grace.
It wasn't until their school decided to participate in their city's annual parade event which honored their growing community. All Social, Sports, Academic, and Fine Arts clubs were entered into a random drawing, no choice given. Four clubs were to be chosen at random, one from each department, and together they would create a float that best represented their school. This is where problems arose.
Chemistry and Choir were chosen for the Academic and Fine Arts field. No problem there. No, the dilemma stemmed from the other two chosen clubs. Basketball and Dance. The Basketball team, AKA Lee Jaehyun, immediately tried to argue that Dance was considered a Fine Arts and that they already had one, so they needed to redraw. The Dance team, AKA Lee Juyeon, tried to argue that Dance was considered a sport, and since they were drawn first, there was no need for the Basketball team. Both boys verbally attacked each other for minutes, their proximity getting closer, before the lead club organizer, Lee Sangyeon, finally intervened before it turned physical.
"Okay, guys enough!" He spoke, voice slightly raised.
Both boys immediately went quiet, as to not disrespect their hyung.
"Look. We're not drawing again. It's already been decided. Juyeon, I'm sorry, but since the Dance team accepts everyone and conducts practices and meetings elsewhere, you guys are considered a Social club. And no Jaehyun, do not try and tell me they are a Fine Arts elective. We've already been over this."
Sangyeon looked between the two boys, expecting either of them to try and argue again. But the glare he was giving them and the the tone he was using rendered them quiet.
Sighing with exasperation, Sangyeon left them with his final words.
"Can the both you please just put aside your differences for two maybe three weeks while we work on this? Our school's float is an important part of the parade and I don't need the whole community to label us as bullies or rowdy teenagers. This is our chance to prove how mature and goal-oriented we are. Okay?"
Juyeon and Jaehyun, and the rest of the clubs, nodded simultaneously. And with that Sangyeon set to work assigning duties to all four clubs.
Everyone knew that Juyeon and Jaehyun did not get along. Always fighting and bickering in the hallways. Sometimes even coming to physical blows. No one knows why, not even their closest friends. It's just how it is. Changmin was apart of the Dance team, being the technical leader. However his shyness prompted him to let Juyeon do the actual officiating. And Younghoon was the best defensive center guard the basketball team had in years, using his towering height to his advantage.
Jaehyun was the first to find out about them way back when they first started dating. It wasn't hard to figure out considering Younghoon followed Changmin around like a lost puppy. Juyeon only found out after Jaehyun confronted him and told him to keep his "little chipmunk friend" away from their star athlete, to which Juyeon, a bit denser, replied that he didn't know what he was talking about. Juyeon ended up throwing the first punch after hearing Jaehyun continuously insult his friend. Their verbal quarrel turned physical in seconds and was only stopped when their seniors Sangyeon and Jacob broke them apart.
After that day, Changmin and Younghoon were forced to separate or be kicked off their respective teams. Fast forward to now, and whoever concocted the stupid float idea, had them back in each other's arms. This time in secret. They tried to stay away from each other but Changmin eventually caved first, to which Younghoon clearly didn't mind in the slightest. Now it was just a matter of getting through one more week of float committee without Juyeon and Jaehyun killing each other, or them if they ever found out.
Sneaking around was easy enough. It was kissing his lover and leaving him everytime that was hard. For Changmin, it seemed as though Younghoon was just into the physical aspect of it. And while Changmin didn't mind letting loose and shedding a few clothes with the older boy here and there, he couldn't stop the feeling in his gut that Younghoon was just using him. Which is what Juyeon always warned him of.
Younghoon was the complete opposite. He wanted to let everyone know about how in love he was with Changmin. But every time he tried to bring it up to the latter, he chickens out in fear of being rejected. So he just continued to let Changmin lead him to closet after closet, getting lost in the way his lover's bare skin felt against his own. If this was all he was getting, then he certainly didn't want to ruin it by spilling his true intentions.
The days passed quickly and soon enough, their reason to be anywhere near each other (i.e. the float) was slowly coming to an end. Changmin was left in a closet once again with the excuse that Younghoon had to go and finish stapling some stupid last minute decorations. He tried to get the older boy to stay longer, but Younghoon was very insistent on leaving. As always. And though Changmin enjoyed their little interactions and fleeting kisses here and there, it seemed as though he was the only one.
Maybe Younghoon is just using me after all.
The parade came and went and true to Changmin's prediction, Younghoon and him had less time to meet up. Although both boys were now consumed with end-of-the-year antics in their respective fields, Changmin felt as though the older boy wasn't trying hard enough to see him. They had the occasional make out session here and there. But even those moments were vastly dwindling.
The Basketball team made it to the championship game; they didn't win. Younghoon did manage to still win the MVP award, to which the team celebrated that night.
On the same night, Changmin competed in his final dance competition before the grueling workload of Senior year was bestowed upon him next year. He ended up tied for first place with his own comrade Juyeon, to which they were both pleased. Their team also decided to go out and celebrate that night.
In his mildly drunken stupor, he dumbly sent a message to Younghoon expressing how much he missed the older boy and if he could see him later in the night. He was not given a reply. And he very well couldn't tell Juyeon or his teammates why his mood suddenly went grim, so he settled for more shots instead. He settled for the burn of alcohol rather than talk about the burn on his heart.
Now a bit more tipsy than a few minutes ago, Changmin drunkenly stumbled into another bar despite Juyeon's multiple suggestions to head home. Stubborn as ever, Changmin managed to convince him of one more place before they would depart for the night. And oh how he realized what a mistake it was to not heed his friend's advice.
There was Younghoon, standing at the bar, drink in hand, with a very handsome guy hanging off his right shoulder. Changmin could clearly see the man whispering into Younghoon's ear, whatever nonsense he was spewing making Younghoon smile wide, flashing all of his perfectly whitened teeth in the stranger's direction.
Changmin was so lost in his heartbroken daze that he barely recognized Juyeon yelling at someone else. That someone being Jaehyun. With everyone having consumed more than enough alcohol that night, it was enough for the two boys and their respective groups to start a fight.
Younghoon realized what was going on before Changmin did, the latter still dazed and confused (and drunk). He lightly pushed the stranger away and looked around to see how his friends were fairing and if Jaehyun needed his help (he didn't). That was when he noticed Changmin, still standing in the entranceway. His eyes locked with Changmin's big brown ones, eyes widening at the sight of the younger.
Pulling out of his reverie, Changmin also caught Younghoon's eyes, his own drifting to the other guy still standing somewhat in Younghoon's space. Quickly pulling himself together and trying to sober up all in a few seconds, Changmin did the only thing he could think of in that moment and turned on his heel and ran. And if he thought he heard someone yelling at him to "Wait!", then his still slightly drunken mind must have been playing tricks on him.
Graduation for the seniors came and went. Changmin only attended because the ever sweet Jacob Bae invited him along with Kevin Moon and Choi Chanhee, two choir boys he had gotten to know back when they were on float duty. And if either of them noticed how he left before they got to the K's, then neither of them mentioned anything to him later. He had heard of some graduation parties going on around town, and was even invited to a few. But he turned them all down in favor of staying in and watching reruns of whatever music reality show was on.
He felt himself slowly drifting off into dreamland, the faint sounds of some amateur singer still playing in the background. He could feel the edge of his sleepy haze almost completely take him over before it was interrupted by a faint buzzing sound. He decided to ignore it for favor of a good night's rest, but life had other plans for him as the persistent buzzing continued. Finally mustering the strength to move, he blindly grabbed for his phone.
Jacob?
"Hello?" He half-whispered groggily.
"Hey Changmin-ah! Uhh, I'm so sorry to wake you...." Jacob trailed off.
Changmin could hear the loud noises of what seemed like a party in the background, the music somewhat blaring into his left ear, further rattling him from his sleep.
"Uhh, no it's fine. Is there something you need?" And though he asked, he was really hoping there wasn't.
"Kind of," came Jacob's short reply.
A beat of silence. Changmin sighed into the receiver, hoping the other boy would just make his point.
"Jacob-hyung, will you please just tell me?"
"It's Younghoon."
That was all the younger boy needed to hear for him to pop up off the couch. Jacob didn't really explain what was wrong. Just that Younghoon was drunk and obnoxiously yelling for Changmin, so Jacob took him upstairs so the others wouldn't hear him calling for his forbidden ex-lover. And after a quick note of the address, Changmin was on his way.
Pulling up to the party, Changmin quickly realized that none of his friends, besides Jacob and maybe Sangyeon, would be there. This was Heo Hyunjoon's house after all. The same Heo Hyunjoon who was the school's freshman track prodigy. The same Heo Hyunjoon who was invited to sit with Lee Jaehyun and the other star athletes at lunch. The same Heo Hyunjoon who was rumored to have a crush on said same boy. So yeah, Changmin definitely wouldn't have anyone to protect him if things got ugly.
Putting his slight fear aside, he managed to walk in the house and make his way to the staircase seemingly undetected. Has Changmin ever mentioned how life hates him? If not, well it does. Hate him. And so do the only two boys sitting on the staircase, effectively blocking him from his destination. The very same Lee Jaehyun and Heo Hyunjoon.
Hyunjoon looked indifferent towards him, his face plastered with his usual stoic expression. Jaehyun's however turned from whatever affectionate gaze he was sending towards Hyunjoon to a rather menacing glare clearly meant for him.
"And what are you doing here, Junior?" And Changmin knows the nickname was meant as an insult not a formality.
Changmin really didn't want to do this right now. He just wanted to find Younghoon and leave, hopefully with the older boy in tow. He let out of long overdue sigh, his hands raking through his sleep-matted hair with worry before replying.
"I'm looking for Jacob."
There was no way in hell he was telling Younghoon's best friend that he was looking for him. That would end terribly. Well more terribly than things were currently going.
Hyunjoon was quick to quirk his left eyebrow up, slightly pursing his lips before stepping in the conversation himself.
"He's upstairs."
Changmin could see Jaehyun give his (boy?) friend an incredulous look before Hyunjoon himself stepped aside to let Changmin through. And Changmin guesses that life doesn't hate him that much if he were able to slip by Lee Jaehyun somewhat easily.
After that point, it was easy to find which room Jacob and Younghoon were in. All the others being locked and thankfully keeping him from seeing what was on the other side. Jacob quickly looked up from his phone upon Changmin entering the room. And after a quick scan and seeing no Younghoon, Changmin pointedly looked at Jacob. To which he replied with a simple point of his index finger towards the closed restroom door, light slightly seeping out from the bottom.
With a final quick breathing exercise, Changmin made a motion to open the second door. And there he was. His ex-lover somewhat passed out on the floor, his head resting on the edge of the tub, his eyes swollen and puffy, probably from crying earlier.
Upon hearing the door being opened, Younghoon cracked one of his eyes open to see who his intruder was. Changmin. Still a drunken mess, but with renewed strength, Younghoon attempted to rise up off the cold floor. A failed effort if it weren't for Changmin finally caving and crossing the tiny space to help heave the heavier boy off the ground and into a sitting position on the toilet lid.
Younghoon, with his eyes half-lidded closed, gave a small smile to the other boy as a thank you for coming to his rescue. And to continue his thanks, he tried to lean forward to kiss Changmin, only to be stopped by a hand gently pushing back on his shoulder. He pouted.
And as much as Changmin wanted nothing more than to kiss his once love, he had to resist. Just for this moment. Until he can figure out what was going on.
So with the help of Jacob, they gently led Younghoon over to the bed and forced him to lie down. To which he only agreed to if Changmin joined him. So he did. Jacob made a leave to exit with promises that no one would bother them if Changmin decided to stay.
And then there were two.
Out of all the scenarios that Changmin imagined him and Younghoon finally getting alone time in an actual bed, this was not one of them. Not while Younghoon was on the verge of passing out. Not while in Heo Hyunjoon's house. And certainly not while the two were not even on speaking terms anymore. Changmin has no idea what life is doing at this point. Probably just tossing him up like a mangled hacky sack.
Despite the circumstances, that didn't stop the two boys from staring into each other eyes. Almost like a movie, with a lot less romance. And although Changmin still felt something for the older boy, he knew a part of him was still angry and hurt after seeing Younghoon with someone else that day. Especially after the older starting pulling more and more away from him over time. That day, it had all made sense to Changmin. So why did he coming running now? There were plenty of people here to take care of Younghoon. Who cares if he was calling for him specifically? It's not like people didn't know they dated once upon a time. If Jaehyun was really his friend, then he should be the one hel---
Changmin was pulled out of thoughts by a warm hand softly landing on his right check, slowly starting to caress his small cheekbone. He focused once more on the boy beside him. This time Younghoon seemed more focused as well. Younghoon's other hand came up to wrap around the back of his neck. As he started playing with his longer hairs, just how he knows Changmin likes, Changmin felt his whole body loosen up, and he slowly sagged into Younghoon's hands.
And in this moment, Changmin knew he was screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. Immersed in Younghoon's soft, warm hands, and held by his piercing but gentle and loving? gaze, Changmin felt as if for once, things might be okay between them. And with that small feeling, he felt himself drifting back into the deep sleep he was in just an hour ago.
A fleeting thought suddenly appeared back in his head, thinking about the other guy Younghoon was with just a few weeks ago. He stirred and tried to lift himself up off the bed, remembering the real reason he came here. But his movements were quickly out maneuvered by Younghoon who gently brought him back to bed.
Seeing little to no resistance, Younghoon wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, nuzzling his face into the back of Changmin's neck, the long hairs tickling his nose briefly. He slowly placed tiny kisses along his neck, not enough to start anything, but enough to calm Changmin's worries for the moment. He brought one of his hands, previously wrapped around his waist, up to Changmin's arm, gently letting his own fingers caress over his smooth skin before finally intertwining their hands just above the younger's bellybutton.
With one final small kiss to Changmin's left earlobe, Younghoon whispered into the air before finally settling in to sleep.
"Let's talk about everything tomorrow. Right now...please just let me hold you for awhile longer?"
And Changmin truly doesn't know what he is supposed to do anymore and it seems neither does life. But he does know that he lets Younghoon have this moment. And maybe Changmin wanted his own moment with him, too.
They could talk in the morning.