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It all started with Yangyang convincing himself that going to university was a good idea; that he would have a once in a lifetime experience which will stay with him for the rest of his life and it was. Yangyang enjoyed his degree. It was a bit heavy sometimes but he found it interesting nonetheless. He liked the topics he had studied so far, his peers—having made several friends who crammed with him the night before an assignment was due—and his lecturers, who he sucked up to for a small advantage when it came to grading his papers.
Yangyang liked to believe that his lecturers also liked him, however, that all came to an end when his social psychology lecturer assigned him narcissism as his final project for his second year of university.
Yangyang poured over his notes trying to come up with an essay question that would allow him to finish his project as soon as possible; not wanting to spend too much time on one of his lesser liked topics.
He spent the majority of the academic year avoiding the assignment, only submitting a 1000 word draft chapter in October before he closed the file for the rest of the year.
That was until May, two weeks before he was due to submit his project and only had 1000 words out of 10,000 written, all of which he had to scrap.
Yangyang leaned into the booth in the back of the library, a cluster of computers around him, staring at the mostly blank page on his laptop screen in front of him, trying to think of something, anything, to write.
He enjoyed the topic, it was an interesting area but Yangyang knew he would grow tired of writing about narcissism with a day of starting his project which was why he was now cramming in a corner booth on the ground floor of the library trying to finish his project—which was due in a week—after not touching it once in the six month since it had been assigned to him.
He slammed his head on the table, unintentionally hard and caused a few people busy on the computers to look over at him in worry and annoyance. When he looked up, his eyes locked onto a particular individual who Yangyang disliked very much.
Lee Jeno was nothing fancy. He was a typical university boy, more studious and more athletic than Yangyang with more friends than Yangyang. He was the bane of Yangyang’s existence but Yangyang possessed something that Jeno could never even dream of having: brains.
And that was when Yangyang’s sad, pathetic grades suddenly picked themselves off of the dirty library floor on a windy day in the middle of May, dusted themselves off and shot up into the sky.
He stumbled out of the mess of paper in the booth and speed walked towards Jeno. He caught him just as he was about to tap out of the library.
“Hey, watch it!” Jeno exclaimed as Yangyang’s tight hold around his muscular left arm pulled him back. “Oh, it’s you.”
Yangyang couldn’t catch the change in his eyes as he was busy trying to salivate his grades.
“Listen,” he started, getting straight to the point. “I need your help and you can’t say no.” He said with finality.
Jeno stared at him, puzzled, his blonde locks falling over his golden eyes causing his eyelashes to brush against it as he blinked the hair away. “Help with what exactly?”
Yangyang took a deep breath and cleared his throat to prepare himself, knowing that by asking for his help he had already admitted defeat—doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“My social psych project.”
✰
Whenever possible investigators should obtain the consent of participants. In practice this means it is not sufficient to simply get potential participants to say “Yes”. They also need to know what it is that they are agreeing to. In other words the psychologist should, so far as is practicable explain what is involved in advance and obtain the informed consent of participants (McLeod, 2015).
It is stated in McLeod (2015) that before the study begins the researcher must outline to the participants what the research is about, and then ask their consent (i.e. permission) to take part. An adult (18ys +) capable of giving permission to participate in a study can provide consent. Parents/legal guardians of minors can also provide consent to allow their children to participate in a study.
In order that consent be ‘informed’, consent forms may need to be accompanied by an information sheet for participants setting out information about the proposed study (in lay terms) along with details about the investigators and how they can be contacted (McLeod, 2015).
After explaining his unfortunate situation, Jeno had agreed to help Yangyang out. On one condition: adequate payment for his services.
Which is why Yangyang was impatiently tapping his foot against the floor waiting for Jeno to finish his meal so he could leave.
“Can you, like, not take your time?” Yangyang asked, glancing at his wristwatch.
Jeno responded by slurping his noodles louder, looking up at Yangyang innocently through his eyelashes.
Yangyang groaned and slumped back in his seat, defeated. The things he will do for a first class degree classification.
✰
This is where participants are misled or wrongly informed about the aims of the research. Types of deception include (i) deliberate misleading, e.g. using confederates, staged manipulations in field settings, deceptive instructions; (ii) deception by omission, e.g., failure to disclose full information about the study, or creating ambiguity (McLeod, 2015).
The researcher should avoid deceiving participants about the nature of the research unless there is no alternative – and even then this would need to be judged acceptable by an independent expert. However, there are some types of research that cannot be carried out without at least some element of deception (McLeod, 2015).
They were in Jeno’s room. Yangyang sat behind him on the single chair that sat in the corner of the room as he observed Jeno while he studied, a tally chart hidden in between several pieces of paper among his own textbooks.
“So, what even is your experiment?” Jeno asked, briefly glancing at the mirror that was hung next to his desk and smoothing down a stray hair.
Yangyang marked another tally on his chart.
“Uh,” he started, trying to come up with something quick. “The effect positive achievements have on egos…”
It is important not to mislead or lie to participants of a study; misdirection is allowed in order for your experiment to yield accurate results as long as it isn’t far from the truth of the study. Egos and narcissism were close enough for it to be a suitable misdirection for the participant.
“Oh, cool,” Jeno said with another glance into the mirror—and another tally on Yangtang’s chart—before going back to his textbook.
Yangyang scoffed, pushing up his glasses and shaking his head.
“What?” Jeno asked him through the mirror then averting his eyes back to himself.
“Nothing,” He said but continued when he felt Jeno’s eyes on him again. “It’s just, you look in the mirror a lot. Like, a lot.”
“Oh, baby, I’m a work of art,” Jeno smirked and sent Yangyang a suggestive wink before averting his gaze back to his textbook, leaving Yangyang flustered.
The rest of the afternoon continued with little conversation and an abundance of tallies on Yangyang’s chart as he observed his test subject.
When it was time for him to leave, Jeno walked him to the door, footsteps heavy on the carpeted floor as they walked down the hallway from his room to the front door of his flat.
Yangyang stood awkwardly in front of the door with Jeno swaying next to him, hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his feet.
He cleared his throat to get his attention. “Bye, I guess…”
Jeno beamed at the boy in front of him, moving closer to the door to get the lock open. Halfway through unlocking the front door something flashed through his face.
“Wait!” He yelled as he quickly ran in the opposite direction to Yangyang, who was left confused.
A moment later, Jeno returned with a bottle of orange juice and a protein bar in hand.
Yangyang rolled his eyes at the food held out to him but accepted it anyway; he had manners.
“Thanks,” he said.
Jeno finished unlocking the door and let Yangyang out. “It’s going to get dark soon, do you want me to walk you back to your flat?” He offered.
Yangyang scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I think I’ll be fine going down two floors but thanks,”
Jeno shrugged in response, a smirk taking over his face as he leaned against the door frame and Yangyang walked down the corridor, feeling Jeno’s eyes linger in him until he turned the corner.
(The feeling was accompanied by a warmth on his cheeks that he tried his best to ignore, passing it off as exertion from taking the stairs down to his flat instead of waiting for the lift.)
✰
“What are we doing today?” Jeno asked surveying their surroundings.
Yangyang shuffled through his papers until he found a list of names, times and room numbers. He scanned the top of the list then started towards the stated room, Jeno following close behind him.
“Well,” he started as he navigated through the maze of hallways. “Since we’re testing the effects of positive achievement, we actually need some positive achievements. So, I have set up meetings with all your lecturers to discuss your progress and learning in their classes.”
Jeno stumbles behind him, caught off guard.
“How do you even know what classes I take?” He decided that was the question he should ask.
Yangyang rolled his eyes as they came to a stop in front of an old white door with peeling paint. “You literally gave me your schedule when you agreed to be my test subject.” He stated the obvious.
Jeno’s mouth formed a silent ‘oh’ as Yangyang knocked on the door and pushed it open a second later, walking in without waiting for a verbal confirmation. Jeno scurried after him.
“Hey David,” Yangyang greeted their developmental psychology lecturer politely—and too friendly—as he took the seat farthest from David’s desk in the corner of the small office.
Jeno walked over and sat down in the seat between Yangyang and the desk, smiling politely at his lecturer as he did so.
Yangyang pulled out his clipboard from the bottom of his pile of papers and crossed his legs, pen ready in his hand. “Whenever you’re ready,”
Yangyang was ecstatic; he couldn’t wait to get home and type up his results.
The meetings had gone better than he had hoped, so many findings!
Jeno had displayed positive responses to the feedback he was receiving from his lecturers and Yangyang took note of everything. Everything!
The highlight of the day for Yangyang, had been when Dr. Kim scrunched up his eyebrows as Jeno took a seat opposite his desk, bright smile ever present on his face and stated, “Lay them compliments on me, sir!” Dr. Kim has looked astounded and in the most monotonous voice Yangyang had heard the man use, had replied with: “Mr. Lee, it’s almost the end of the academic year and this is the first time I’m meeting you.”
It turned out that Jeno had been to only two Approaches to Psychology lectures in the whole academic year.
Yangyang had tried so hard not to burst out in a fit of laughter and ended up having a coughing fit in an attempt to cover up the giggles that escaped his lips.
The boys were both beaming as they sat across from each other in the restaurant, happily shoving noodles into their mouths.
Yangyang has his study on his mind, ideas buzzing in his mind.
“I was thinking,” he said excitedly, turning to face Jeno who was looking back at him expectantly. “Next Friday we can go to the Waterhole! They have that speed dating thing and my assignment isn’t due until midnight so I can include the findings in my results.”
Jeno considered it for a few minutes, checking his calendar to see if he had my other engagement. “Sure!” He said as he put his phone away and returned to eating his meal.
Yangyang noted it down on a napkin to remind himself to write it in his bullet journal later that night before he too concentrated on finishing his meal.
✰
Yangyang wanted to alter a variable in his first experiment to see how the environment would affect the test subject’s actions.
In regards to physical narcissism, Yangyang wanted to observe how the reduced accessibility to objects such as mirrors would affect his actions.
During his earlier observations, Yangyang had noticed Jeno looking in the mirror a lot, perhaps his appearance was important to him and this being an experiment involving narcissism, it was likely that he just liked looking at himself—for the purpose of the study that is what Yangyang had settled on: a look in the mirror was a tally on his chart.
(There were many inaccuracies in this conclusion however it provided Yangyang with material to address in his discussion so he wasn’t particularly bothered about it.)
Currently, Jeno was seated at a table on the third floor of the library at 10pm, his laptop on the table in front of him and Yangyang on the seat in front of him, his papers neatly clipped on his board as he observed Jeno.
They worked in silence, no sound but the tapping of Jeno’s fingers across his keyboard and the occasional this of the door closing as people started to leave for the night.
Yangyang struggled to keep his eyes open as the clock hit midnight and his circadian rhythm started doing its thing, pretty soon his vision turned black.
He woke with a jolt, something slid down his shoulders and his right shoulder felt much colder. He turned his head towards it and saw a hand retreating.
“Um,” Jeno whispered softly searching for his eyes. “We better go…”
Yangyang’s eyes fell on his watch and widened as he saw the displayed time.
He hurriedly shoved his clipboard into his backpack and stood up, glancing back to check if he left anything on the seat Yangyang’s eyes fell on a denim jacket crumpled where he sat. Jeno, who had also finished packing up and stood waiting next to him, noticed the jacket and grabbed the garment, slinging it across his right shoulder and his left arm snakes around Yangyang’s shoulders, pulling him towards the double doors leading to the stairs.
They walked back to their building in silence and with Jeno’s arm still resting on Yangyang’s shoulders. Neither acknowledged it until the lift arrived at Yangyang’s floor and he cleared his throat.
Jeno let his arm fall as Yangyang stepped out of the lift, turning back to briefly smile at Jeno before the doors closed.
✰
Friendship was important. That is why Yangyang had a standing meeting twice a week at the coffee shop outside his building with his friend so they could discuss their personal and academic lives and just… have some fun.
Today Yangyang wished he had no friends as he sat in a booth on the second floor of the cafe outside his flat, head pounding in pain as he gently placed it on the table in front of him while his friends conversed amongst themselves, indifferent to Yangyang’s suffering.
Finally, Hendery, the occasional angel that he is, acknowledged his friend’s pain.
“Dude,” he asked, a hand on his shoulder being Yangyang to a full sitting position. “What’s wrong?”
Yangyang sighed, defeated. “I feel… weird.”
“Weird how?” Hendery asked, confused.
“I don’t know,” he said, slouching down on the sofa. “Like, all weird in my stomach and shit,” he gestured uselessly in an attempt to make Hendery understand something that even he couldn’t.
“There there, man,” Hendery said, patting Yangyang softly on his head and sliding over his uneaten white chocolate and macadamia nut cookie.
Yangyang smiled at him appreciatively and dug into the sweet, delicious treat.
✰
By the time Friday came around, Yangyang was more than ready to be done with his paper. He didn’t think he could read any more articles about narcissism without wanting to rip his hair out then sleep for two whole months.
When Jeno knocked on his door at 6:45pm Yangyang gathered up his phone, clipboard and extra pens into a cream tote bag he had gotten at the freshers fayre earlier that year and opened the door to a beaming Jeno waiting for him.
Jeno was dressed up in a silky white dress shirt and tight black jeans with subtle rips around the thighs and knees. His hair was a jet black and swept to one side with hints of silver glitter all over and a loose strand falling over his eyes.
Yangyang felt himself flush and quickly averted his gaze. He stepped forward causing Jeno to take a step to the side and closed the door behind him, tapping his keycard against the card reader to lock it.
“How’s you get in?” He asked as they walked down the hallway to the door to the flat.
“Your flatmate let me in as he was leaving,” Jeno said, his warm breath tickling Yangyang’s ear.
Yangyang let out a hum of acknowledgement as the pair exited the building, their shoulders brushing together as they walked to the student bar.
The Waterhole was a small bar that was attached to the student union and housed a big group rooms for society events on the upper levels. The bar was poorly lit, strings of hanging Edison light bulbs littered around the room. There was a small section at the back of the bar that had tables set up with flowers in the middle and red ribbons on the back of the high stools.
Yangyang was Jeno start walking towards the alcove and rushed to pull him back by the back of his shirt.
“We have to register first,” he said pointing to the small table set up on their right and dragged Jeno towards it.
Yangyang lost Jeno as soon as the event started and the walk back to their building was one of silence and shame.
When he woke up the next morning, Yangyang vowed to forget the events of the night forever and he passed by Jeno at the library later that day, he simply sent a smile and a wave to his classmate and continued on his mission to find his friends.
✰
After the research is over the participant should be able to discuss the procedure and the findings with the psychologist. They must be given a general idea of what the researcher was investigating and why, and their part in the research should be explained (McLeod, 2015).
Participants must be told if they have been deceived and given reasons why. They must be asked if they have any questions and those questions should be answered honestly and as fully as possible.
Debriefing should take place as soon as possible and be as full as possible; experimenters should take reasonable steps to ensure that participants understand debriefing (McLeod, 2015).
McLeod (2015) states that the aim of the debriefing is not just to provide information, but to help the participant leave the experimental situation in a similar frame of mind as when he/she entered it (Aronson, 1988).
“What’s this?” Jeno asked staring at the paper Yangyang had handed him as soon as he sat down in the booth at the ice cream shop.
“Your debrief,” he said, stealing Jeno’s ice cream. “Make sure you read it, it explains what the experiment is really about.”
“Ooh, you’ve been lying to me,” Jeno said, wiggling his eyebrows playfully as he folded the debrief sheet and put it away in his bag.
Yangyang scoff and pulled the bowl fully to himself, ignoring Jeno’s protests.
✰
Yangyang studied his face, smiling nervously in anticipation.
“So?” He asked once Jeno had put his paper down, an unreadable expression on his face.
“This is what you think of me?” He asked, Yangyang was taken aback.
What?
“You know I’m more than just a pretty boy obsessed with myself,”
“What are yo—” But Jeno wasn’t done.
He stood up and hurriedly gathered his belongings. “I was so happy spending time with you this past month, I thought you felt the same but you were just using me for a grade—which, yeah I knew you were but it I didn’t know you thought I was just some brainless fuck without any feelings.”
Yangyang stares at him in disbelief and confusion. “Did you not read the debrief I gave you?”
Jeno looked scandalous. “No, and even if I had, it wouldn’t change the fact that you screwed with my feelings and you genuinely believe that it’s okay,”
Yangyang’s silence and lack of understanding the issue Jeno had presented him with seemed to be the last trigger as he hoisted his backpack up on his shoulder and with a last look down at Yangyang, walked out of the library.
✰
It has been almost a month since Jeno had stormed out on him.
It had been a weird couple of weeks for Yangyang; he found the disconcerting feelings about the lack of Jeno’s presence in his daily routine very strange, as if there was something missing but he didn’t want to voice it out in fear of admitting what he already knew deep down.
On Tuesday, Kun finally had enough.
He slammed his textbook shut and started packing his things up for him. Yangyang stares at him, worn out and confused.
“Wha…” he tried half heartedly before giving up and simply staring as he waiting for Kun to spit it out.
“I can’t tutor you when you’re not retaining anything information!” Kun said, exasperated.
Yangyang hung his head. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kun said, his hand landing on Yangyang’s shoulder and rubbing lightly to soothe the boy.
Yangyang sigh heavily. “So I had this psychology project and this boy agreed to be my test subject but when he read my paper he got all mad and hasnt talked to me in weeks—he completely ignores me in lectures and, just,” he groaned in frustration.
Kun continued rubbing his shoulder. “What was your paper about?”
Yangyang reaches among his scatter papers and plucked out his narcissism project, handing it to Kun and let his head drop into his waiting hands.
Kun took the paper and started flipping through it. “Hey, 92! That’s pretty good!”
“Thanks,” Yangyang mumbled into his hands.
Kun continued flipping through the pages, reading Yangyang’s research and murmuring little hums of approval.
When he was done, there were several minutes of silence and Yangyang could tell Kun wanted to say something and it wouldn’t be nice.
Finally, he plucked up the courage to lift his head from his hands and look over at Kun. “What?” he asked.
Kun left out a long breath. “Well,” he started. “First of all, great paper,” Yangyang smiled in thanks. “But your friend is right.”
Yangyyang looked affront and Kun rushed to finish what he was staying.
“Your topic was interesting but I think you went about it the wrong way. You focused too much on the stereotypical narcissism instead of looking at it more psychologically—you took the easy way out and I know you’re capable of much more than that, otherwise I’ve been wasting my time with you.”
Yangyang started at him in shock.
Shit!
He found Jeno on the third floor of the library sitting in between two neuroscience bookshelves and clicking angrily on his laptop. He stopped clicking as Yangyang approached, a scowl taking over the anger painting on his face.
“What do you want?” he said closing his laptop and stuffing it in his backpack.
Yangyang was silent for a while as he stood over the other boy. Then, finally, he dropped down in front of him and searched for his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
Jeno stared blankly.
“I’m sorry, okay!” he said, sighing. “I realise now that my experiment and my treatment of you was wrong. You didn’t deserve to be basically made fun of and called stupid for my academic gain.”
Jeno didn’t say anything and Yangyang took that as his cue to leave; he said said what he came here to say so it was time to leave.
He got up to leave and had almost exited the bookshelves when Jeno spoke up. “Thanks,” he said quietly.
Yangyang threw a small smile at him over his shoulder.
“I really enjoyed hanging out with you,” Jeno quipped in before he could leave.
“Me too,”
“You know,” Jeno said as he made his way to Yangyang. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again...”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Yangyang hurried to say. “I don’t want to hurt you agai—”
“No no, that’s not what I mean,” Jeno said, shaking his head then ducking it as if he suddenly got shy. Yangyang scrunched his eyebrows. “I mean, maybe we could hang out outside of academic obligations. Like a date…” he trailed off, cheeks rosy.
Oh.
Yangyang beamed at him and nodded enthusiastically. “I’d like that.”
Jeno beamed back and reached for Yangyang’s hand, interlinking their fingers together as they walked out of the library, smiles now permanently etched on their faces.
In psychology there are codes of conduct and they are there to protect research participants, the reputation of psychology and psychologists themselves (McLeod, 2015).
To conclude, he thought it all worked out exactly how it was meant to, however, Yangyang could not protect his heart.