Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*Shiro Has Created Chatlog 0597*

Shiro- Alright, welcome to the Voltron shopping strip group chat! I made this so we can all get to know each other a little better, especially with the new additions to our little group

Allura- This is a lovely idea Shiro!

Hunk- Nice! Lance and I have been unpacking these past few months, so it would be nice to actually talk to people other than our customers

Lance- Hell yeah it would. Puppies and douchebags who forgot their anniversaries can only be entertaining for so long

Pidge- I’m gonna guess that you’re the owner of Blue’s Pups?

Lance- That’s me, and Hunk is the co-owner of Rocky Road Baking

Shiro- It’s nice to meet you both, I’ve heard good things about both of your stores from some of my regulars

Allura- Who’s the other owner of Rocky Road, Hunk?

Hunk- My fiance, Shay Balmera

Pidge- Balmera, as in Balmera Farms?

Hunk- Yup, we get a deal on their produce as long as we bring at least three desserts to Thanksgiving. And Lance so he can watch the kids

Lance- What can I say, the people love me

Shiro- On another note, Pidge, where’s Keith?

Pidge- He’s with a client right now, he probably won’t log on for another hour or two. Or whenever this wimp admits that he can’t handle a full sleeve for his first tattoo in one go, fully colored

Allura- Ah, he’s one of those customers, huh?

Pidge- Yep, brought a whole entourage of people to watch, then threw a bitch fit the whole time Keith was drawing it and stenciling it, repeatedly making him realign it multiple times because “it wasn’t straight or centered”

Shiro- Yikes, how’d the group act?

Pidge- Half of them were really nice, and half of them were utter dicks. I had at least three guys ask how many times Keith and I did it for me to get my job, and one even asked for a free piercing because he “had to cancel a date” to support his friend

Allura- Damn, do you need me to send Zethrid over to settle them down?

Pidge- Nah, they left after the first ten minutes of their friend complaining about Keith “attempting to drain him of all blood”

Lance- Seriously? Does he not know that being stabbed with needles to put ink into your skin would hurt????

Pidge- You’d be surprised how many customers expect tattoos to be painless, or to heal without any care, or for piercings to heal immediately

Lance- That sucks, you’d think they’d research before permanently etching something into their skin

Pidge- I think you’re my favorite stranger
Hunk- Yeah, that’s kinda Lance’s specialty. Although, I would advise you to avoid him before 9am, he is unusually awake without any caffeine, and can drive you mad

Lance- ADHD waits for no one. Time is relevant, and sleep is a luxury

Allura- Shiro, don’t do it

Shiro- Lance- Sleep is for the weak
Keith- Sleep for a week, then ask for five more minutes

Pidge- True

Keith- I resent that

Shiro- My baby brother lives! And I don’t hear any police sirens, so I assume you didn’t kill your customer

Keith- Nah, the jackass lives another day

Shiro- Good, Adam spent your bail money on a coffee maker, so give us a few more months to build it back up

Keith- 1, did you guys actually have bail money saved for me? I can’t tell if that’s really nice or really rude
2, tell Adam I’m insulted he prioritized a coffee maker over me, when you literally own your own coffee shop

Shiro- Hey Keith, this is Adam. We did have money saved, but it was only slightly for your next arrest, and you should be grateful, I got your favorite kind of latte

Keith- Throw in a dinner, and I’ll forget about your lack of faith in me

Shiro- Deal. See ya Wednesday, runt

Keith- See ya beanpole

Lance- The family dynamic there is beautiful. I want to call my sister now

Hunk- Doesn’t she live nearby?

Lance- Yeah, but I only miss her enough to call, not enough to find out her address, meet her there after buying food for five people only for her to eat most of it, then getting made fun of until I leave. Maybe next week

Keith- I’ve never related so hard to something in my life

Lance- Would you mind if I stopped in to look at some of your work? I’ve been looking for a new artist for a while, and everyone I’ve asked has recommended you

Keith- Only if I can pop in and cuddle your puppies sometime

Lance- Fucking deal, these monsters need attention 24/7, and I am but a man

Chapter Text

Allura- Soooo, how’d the meeting go?

Lance- It went great! I got to see some of Keith’s work (it’s really fucking good) and he got to experience a real life puppy pile (and I got some pics of it)

Keith- You do realize that I see all this too, right?

Lance- I refuse to be ashamed of taking pictures of the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

Hunk- I’m going to tell Nadia and Silvio that they’ve been demoted

Lance- Go ahead, I’m not scared of them

Hunk- Even if I tell them about The Incident????

Lance- There is no love in this world, only hate

Shiro- Who are Nadia and Silvio?

Hunk- Lance’s niece and nephew

Shiro- Are they the kids of the sister you mentioned last week?

Lance- Nah, Veronica’s a total chaotic lesbian, she can’t even keep a plant alive, much less kids

Hunk- Aren’t they Marco’s kids?

Lance- No, Marco’s the dumbass college kid who can’t get a date to save his life. They’re Luis and Lisa’s little terrors

Keith- How many siblings do you have?

Lance- Four, not counting Luis’ wife

Shiro- You have four siblings?!?

Lance- Yep, although it always felt like more with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins that stayed at our house or in the neighborhood

Allura- That sounds...chaotic

Pidge- I only have 1 brother, and we barely survived to adulthood. I can’t imagine three more of him

Adam- I was an only child, it scared the hell out of me when I first saw Keith and Shiro have a screaming match over a taco

Shiro- It was my taco, he said he wasn’t hungry, but the second the food was delivered he was starving

Keith- To be fair, this happened all the time. I don’t know why it took you so long to figure it out

Pidge- I realized it after our second lunch together. Dumbass here doesn’t take care of his own needs, so I have to do it for him

Keith- You’re over exaggerating

Pidge- When we first opened the shop, you kept staying up all night just to finish sketches for customers. I had to steal your key and lock you out for you to go home

Keith- I was nervous and it was my first shop

Pidge- You never bring lunch because you underestimate how hungry you’ll be, then you get snappy and scare away all the teenagers who just wanna look at your sketches. I have to give you food and lock you in the broom closet until you finish it and calm down before you can get any work done

Keith- You’re overexaggerating

Pidge- Keith, sweetie, I’ve seen you eat an apple, then five minutes later shout, “Who the fuck ate my apple!?!”

Keith- Um...yeah that’s fair

Lance- How’re you still alive?

Keith- Spite and coffee

Lance- Would you like to join me and Hunk for our weekly dinners? It’s all home cooked stuff, and there’s always leftovers for lunches and stuff

Hunk- Yeah, Lance doesn’t know how to cook for small groups, and the invitation goes for all of you

Keith- Are you sure? I don’t want to interrupt some special bro time or something

Lance- You won’t be

Allura- I’d love to, it sounds like a great way for all of us to bond!

Shiro- I agree!Can Adam and I come?

Lance- Yeah man, the more the merrier

Keith- What day is it?

Hunk- Usually Wednesdays, although we change it if it conflicts with work

Keith- Works for me, thanks Lance

Lance- No problem, gotta keep you alive if I want that tattoo

Keith- Wow, and here I thought you liked me for my personality

Lance- Eh, doesn’t hurt. And the puppies like you, so I guess I gotta keep you around

Pidge- Finally, someone else on the “Keep Keith Alive” team

Adam- What, Shiro and I don’t count?

Pidge- I’ve seen Shiro dangle Keith out of a second story window over a bag of chips, and you just said, “Don’t drop him unless there’s a bush underneath to catch him, I don’t want blood stains under our window.”

Adam- Fair

Shiro- Okay, but in my defense, they were the last bag

Hunk- What did we just sign up for?

Lance- Chaos. Glorious Chaos.