Chapter Text
SATURDAY, 14TH DECEMBER, 12:10
INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM, JAKE’S HOUSE
“A Better Son/Daughter” by Rilo Kiley plays as JAKE lies in his bed, the curtains drawn, in his pyjamas. He stares at the ceiling, his phone next to him, with his headphones plugged into it. It lights up occasionally, with messages from the GIRL and BOY SQUADS. He doesn’t read them, and we’re not close enough to see. He’s just bored.
Cut to him lying on his side, curled up, holding a pillow to his chest, headphones still in. Cut to him on his stomach, hands beside his head in surrender. We watch his back rise and fall for a few moments. Cut to him on his other side, facing the phone, staring it down. It lights up, but only because it’s reached 100% charge. He sighs and picks it up.
He begins to read through the messages: most of them asking if he’s okay/where he is, but he ignores all of them. He clicks on his messages with ALISTAIR, with the last one from him being from two weeks ago: “it’s a surprise <3.”
He then gets a message from BRIANNA - no words, no anything, just a link to a Tumblr blog. Then another. Then a message saying: “he told me to send you these. said it would “explain”.”
He smiles a little, and then opens the first account; the username is tenderfag. It’s nice, very yellow and happy. The last post is some reblogged Richard Siken poetry: “I sleep. I dream. I make things up I would never say. I say them very quietly.” JAKE smiles. It’s very the ALISTAIR he knew.
He then switches to his other blog; the username is alt--arrow, and it’s just black and devoid of any happiness. The last post is an anonymous ask. It says “hey, are you okay?? ur last post worried me a little lmao - red heart anon.” The account responds “yeah, just had a really bad night last night asdcrvcds. hope you’re doing okay though <3 <3 <3.”
JAKE scrolls down a little and sees the last original post: “i’m sorry, i just can’t do this anymore. everything just goes so fast and so much and i can’t take it, it’s like nothing i do is something i do. there’s someone else somewhere controlling me and i want to stop. i want to do something for me. i’m sorry. take care of yourselves. i love you all <3”.
JAKE’s face is still, he can’t react. He goes back to the other blog - all sunshine and poetry and bright gifs - and then back to the dark one. And then it all clicks in his mind. These aren’t two sides of ALISTAIR - they are ALISTAIR.
He brings his laptop onto his lap and searches for the alt--arrow blog and gets it right away. He opens the ask tab and types: “Hey. I know things are hard for you right now, but it gets better. The world slows down. You just have to take it minute by minute. If you need me, call me - J.D.L.” He sends the ask anonymously, and it says that it has sent.
He puts his laptop back and looks down at his phone. He opens his messages with ALISTAIR, tapping his fingers on the side of his phone. He reads them, all of them, until a small “ping” is heard and he inhales sharply.
“hey”.
JAKE smiles, so, so relieved.
He sends back a “Hey Al” and waits patiently for a few seconds. ALISTAIR sends “i’m sorry for what happened. all the shit i said. i don’t even remember most of it, and most of it was probably bullshit.”
“It’s okay,” JAKE sends, “I’ve heard worse”. ALISTAIR responds “thanks. for being there for me. i didn’t expect anyone would notice anything was wrong.” JAKE replies, “I get it. I didn’t think anyone would notice me either. But… You did.”
ALISTAIR sends back a “yeah, but i didn’t save your life.”
JAKE sighs, not frustrated, not angry. He sends “But you did.”
He doesn’t get a response. He sighs, but doesn’t complain. He rolls over on his bed, his back to the camera.