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Jiang Cheng barely knows Max beyond the fact that they share a few classes. So when Max approaches him and asks for a talk in private, Jiang Cheng is more than a little surprised, but he nods and follows him after a thumbs up from Wei Wuxian.
Whatever that is supposed to mean.
“So, the thing is,” Max starts and he sounds nervous.
Jiang Cheng scowls at him.
“I was just wondering if you’d like to go out with me?” Max asks and Jiang Cheng stares at him.
Max is objectively good-looking and from the little interactions he and Jiang Cheng had he seems like an okay guy. Jiang Cheng figures why the hell not.
“Okay,” he agrees and Max eyes go wide, before he starts to laugh.
Jiang Cheng feels uneasy all of a sudden, hunches his shoulders slightly and he knows what’s coming.
He really should know better by now. It’s not the first time this happens, after all.
“God, you really accepted!” Max laughs. “Who would want to go out with you of all people? You might be pretty, but you’re too annoying to be around, who could even stand you?”
It’s nothing Jiang Cheng hasn’t heard before, but it didn’t happen in a long time, and he forgot. He forgot how annoying and brash he can be.
Of course no one wants to date him.
“I don’t even know how Wei Wuxian can stand you,” Max goes on and Jiang Cheng goes cold at that.
There are moments where he wonders the same.
“And Jiang Yanli is just too nice to tell you to get lost, it’s clear she favours Wei Wuxian over you anyway.”
Jiang Cheng can only nod at that, because it’s not like he hasn’t thought the same before. It still hurts hearing this from someone else. He knows his sister is too nice to outright tell him to fuck off, but he trusts Wei Wuxian to tell him when he’s annoying them. He never has problems finding his words after all.
The fact that Wei Wuxian didn’t yet tell him to get lost is Jiang Cheng’s only silver lining.
“I understand,” he presses out and then just leaves Max standing there, still laughing and clearly all too happy with how his joke turned out.
Jiang Cheng’s chest feels tight and he scolds himself. He should be used to this by now.
It’s time he stops expecting anyone to like him just because. He can accept that people will be nice to him because they want something, he’s a good student and heir to the Yunmeng Jiang corporation, but clearly anything more will never happen.
It’s not like he needs friends or partners. He is fine alone.
~*~*~
Lan Xichen asks him out in the park, snow softly falling around them. Jiang Cheng hasn’t realized that the walk they were taking was supposed to be a date—a fake date, Jiang Cheng reminds himself—and Lan Xichen is so beautiful it hurts, even as he crushes Jiang Cheng’s heart.
“Jiang Cheng let me take you out on a date,” Lan Xichen says, Jiang Cheng’s hand still held in his. “A real one, this time. Dinner and maybe a movie if you want.”
“Why the fuck would you want to do that?” Jiang Cheng blurts out, because this cannot be real.
He thought he got away from this kind of thing a long time ago. He didn’t allow anyone to get to this part since Max in high school.
“Because I really like you,” Lan Xichen gives back and Jiang Cheng stares at him in confusion.
He’s waiting for the punch line, before he remembers that it already is the punch line. The rest of the afternoon was the lead up to it, and Jiang Cheng thought he had gotten better at reading the signs.
But he never expected Lan Xichen to be so cruel.
“Yeah, nice joke,” Jiang Cheng tells him and he can’t help the bitterness that creeps into his voice.
He wonders if this ever stops hurting.
Jiang Cheng wrenches his hand away from Lan Xichen and puts some space between them.
“You could have just told me I’m annoying you, there is no fucking reason for you to play me like this, now get the fuck away from me and don’t ever talk to me again,” Jiang Cheng snaps out and he realizes this will be difficult from now on.
Lan Xichen’s brother is dating Jiang Cheng’s brother after all, so he can’t even escape Lan Xichen. They will always run into each other.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t allow that thought to worry him, at least not for now, and he rushes back home. He ignores Yanli’s and Wei Wuxian’s questioning glances and storms to his room, slamming the door behind him.
And to think that he really liked Lan Xichen.
Jiang Cheng never allowed himself to think of Lan Xichen like that, past humiliations still too ingrained in him, and he knows who he is after all.
What those people have said to him are all true; he is too brash, too abrasive and angry, and while his looks might be nice, they are not enough to make up for his shitty personality.
Jiang Cheng knows that.
Still, Lan Xichen was nice to him, right until this moment and Jiang Cheng has to bite back some tears. How could he ever delude himself to thinking that someone as wonderful as Lan Xichen would ever even want to be his friend, let alone anything more.
“A-Cheng?” Yanli asks, hesitantly knocking at the door, and Jiang Cheng presses his back to it as he slides down to the ground.
“Go away,” he snaps at her and then immediately feels bad.
He doesn’t have to remind his siblings of how awful he is as well.
“I’ll be here, if you want to talk,” Yanli offers lowly and then leaves him be.
She must keep Wei Wuxian away as well, because he doesn’t come barging in like he normally does.
Jiang Cheng wishes he could stay away from himself as well.
Jiang Cheng buries his face in his knees, curls up into a small ball of pure misery, as he wonders when this will ever stop hurting.
He’s so busy wallowing in self-pity, that he almost misses the front door opening.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian immediately croons out, and that on the other hand is hard to miss.
“And Xichen-ge,” Wei Wuxian goes on and Jiang Cheng immediately tenses.
He doesn’t even get one day.
“How did it go?” Yanli asks Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng knows he shouldn’t listen in, but his heart has already taken so much damage today, what’s a little bit more, right?
It’s not like it will make a difference.
“Very poorly,” Lan Xichen says, and his voice is so soft, Jiang Cheng actually has to strain his ears to hear him. “He rejected me, rather cruelly.”
“What?” Wei Wuxian asks and he sounds honestly surprised at that. “He said he liked you!”
Jiang Cheng can’t help but to snort at that, because of course he likes Lan Xichen. Who wouldn’t? The guy is gentle and kind-hearted, he cares for his family and has a very well hidden sense of humour. Jiang Cheng thinks there can’t possibly be anyone who doesn’t like Lan Xichen.
But Jiang Cheng knows what he himself is worth, he knows he’s all flaws and nothing else, so why the hell would it even matter if he likes Lan Xichen. It’s not like something can come of this anyway, and Jiang Cheng feels the tiniest bit of resentment for Wei Wuxian for telling Lan Xichen how he feels.
“I asked him out and he responded with ‘Nice joke’,” Lan Xichen tells them, followed by a very prolonged silence.
“Oh no,” Wei Wuxian eventually whispers. “Shijie, you don’t think he still believes that?”
“Lan Xichen, would you please wait here for a moment,” Yanli tells him and then Jiang Cheng hears them come for his room.
He scrambles to his feet and rushes over to his desk, so it’s not quite as obvious that he has been eavesdropping.
“Coming in,” Wei Wuxian declares a second before he pushes the door open, and Jiang Cheng turns around to snap at him, because what the hell happened to knocking, but the words die in his throat when he sees the pained look on Yanli’s face.
“A-Cheng,” she says and walks straight up to him to pull him into a hug. “What these people said were cruel and horrible and not at all true. You’re beautiful, inside and out, and everyone would be so lucky as to date you.”
“Yeah, right,” Jiang Cheng mutters, but her words soothe over some of the painful edges inside him.
She never stated it this clearly.
“Really,” Wei Wuxian chimes in and throws his arms around Yanli and Jiang Cheng as well. “You’re the best and wonderful!”
“You two have to say that, you’re my family,” Jiang Cheng gives back and wriggles around so they will let go of him.
He never did well with extended contact.
“I’m adopted, I’m under no such obligations,” Wei Wuxian immediately says and Yanli swats his arm.
“A-Xian, behave,” he chides, but immediately turns back to Jiang Cheng. “We don’t say that because we have to, or because we’re family. Even family can hate each other. But we love you, as do a lot of other people. Lan Xichen being one of them.”
Jiang Cheng immediately shakes his head, because he doesn’t believe her. Can’t. Because if he does, and it turns out badly, he isn’t sure he can put himself back together again.
“Listen here,” Wei Wuxian says and pulls Jiang Cheng into a headlock.
“What the fuck, get away from me,” Jiang Cheng wheezes, but Wei Wuxian just tightens his grip around his neck.
“If you don’t believe Lan Xichen, then believe us. Did we ever try to talk good about anyone who dared to hurt you like this back in school?” Wei Wuxian asks and Jiang Cheng takes a second to think about that.
Yanli and Wei Wuxian were always very open with their love for Jiang Cheng, as they were with their dislike of the people who tricked Jiang Cheng like this.
Max even changed a few of his classes, because he couldn’t stand Yanli’s icy glares and Wei Wuxian’s threatening friendliness.
“No,” Jiang Cheng admits.
“So, believe us when we tell you that Lan Xichen means it. He wants to date you. He likes you,” Yanli softly tells him and brushes some hair out of his face.
“What if it ends badly?” Jiang Cheng mutters, so scared that it will.
“Then rest assured that it will happen because you two are not compatible in a romantic sense and not because of who you are as a person,” Yanli tells him.
“How long has Xichen-ge known you now?” Wei Wuxian asks and he thankfully lets go of Jiang Cheng, who immediately goes to hide behind Yanli.
“How long have you and Lan Wangji been dating?” Jiang Cheng asks in return.
“Almost a year now,” Wei Wuxian says with that glossy look on his face that tells Jiang Cheng entirely too much about his thoughts before he shakes himself out of it.
“Exactly. A year now. And Lan Xichen still wants to date you. Do you think he’ll be surprised by your prickly nature?”
“A-Cheng, Lan Xichen knows you. Or have you been hiding part of yourself when you were with him?”
“No,” Jiang Cheng admits, because being himself around Lan Xichen is almost frightfully easy.
“And he still fell in love with you,” Yanli says and pats Jiang Cheng’s hair. “Let him show you,” she urges and Jiang Cheng bites his lips.
His siblings never took the side of the people who tricked him before, and he thinks maybe Lan Xichen is genuine in his wish to date him.
“Fine,” Jiang Cheng huffs out, and is rewarded with an enthusiastic yell from Wei Wuxian and a soft smile from Yanli.
“We’ll send him in,” Wei Wuxian says as he skips out of the room and Jiang Cheng remembers that Lan Wangji is here as well.
They really must mean what they said if Wei Wuxian deemed it important enough to be separated from his boyfriend for this long.
“A-Li,” Jiang Cheng calls his sister back, “you’re not lying to me about this, right?” he asks, and he hates how small and unsure his voice sounds.
“Oh, A-Cheng,” she sighs and pulls him into a hug. “I would never lie to you,” she promises and Jiang Cheng relaxes in her arms.
If his sister says it’s okay, then it must be.
“Jiang Cheng?” Lan Xichen suddenly asks from the door and Yanli pulls away from Jiang Cheng, giving him one last encouraging look before she leaves him alone with Lan Xichen.
“Wei Wuxian said I should try again?” Lan Xichen says, clearly unsure and Jiang Cheng motions for him to come inside and close the door.
“Back in high school people pretended to ask me out, just to tell me how annoying and horrible I was once I accepted. They told me that no one would ever want to spend any time with me,” Jiang Cheng says and he is aware that his voice is horribly flat but he can’t help it.
It still hurts, saying it out loud.
“Oh,” Lan Xichen breathes out and he seems torn between hugging Jiang Cheng and storming back out to find the people who said that.
“I thought you were doing the same,” Jiang Cheng admits and he does feel bad about that, because Lan Xichen is entirely too nice to play a cruel joke like that, but he doesn’t seem to hold it against him.
“I wasn’t,” Lan Xichen honestly says. “I really hoped you would say yes, because I like you and I want to spend all my time with you.”
“I—might get that now,” Jiang Cheng haltingly says, even though he will probably need a few weeks—or maybe months—to really believe that.
“So if I were to ask you again, would your answer be different?” Lan Xichen wants to know and Jiang Cheng gives him a small smile.
“Why don’t you find out,” he dares to tease him, reassured by his sibling’s words, and the honesty in Lan Xichen’s face.
“Jiang Cheng, will you go on a date with me? Dinner and a movie?” Lan Xichen immediately asks.
“Yes,” Jiang Cheng answers and he knows that he will forever cherish that smile on Lan Xichen’s face.
“Thank you,” Lan Xichen says as if Jiang Cheng was doing him a favour with agreeing to a date and Jiang Cheng shakes his head at this silly man.
“It might not be easy, dating me,” Jiang Cheng warns him and Lan Xichen shrugs.
“It’s never easy, dating anyone. But I am more than ready to try with you. You just have to promise me one thing.”
“What?” Jiang Cheng warily asks, defences already up again.
“You have to promise to give me a chance to do better. I don’t know what will hurt you or not, and you can’t just run away from me, when I say something wrong.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Jiang Cheng asks, voice hard as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Get angry, yell at me, and then tell me what I did wrong. Give me a chance to do better,” Lan Xichen explains, effectively taking the anger out of Jiang Cheng.
“Give me a chance to love you,” Lan Xichen finishes softly and Jiang Cheng has to blink back some tears.
“Okay,” he softly agrees because what else can he even do?
Lan Xichen lights up at his word and he gently takes Jiang Cheng’s hand in his.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks and Jiang Cheng blushes a furious red.
“Not before the first date,” he gets out and Lan Xichen doesn’t seem annoyed by that at all.
“A hug then,” he tries next and Jiang Cheng doesn’t have a reason to say no to that.
“Fine,” he huffs out as if it’s the worst thing he heard all day, and his heart beats faster when Lan Xichen chuckles at that.
He gently pulls Jiang Cheng into a hug, and doesn’t even complain when Jiang Cheng clings to him for longer than a hug should probably last.
“I’m going to show you just how lovable you are,” Lan Xichen mutters into his hair and Jiang Cheng has to hide his face in his shoulder, because it’s all too much at once.
He still doesn’t let go of Lan Xichen. He’s not sure he ever wants to, anyway.