Chapter Text
“Mom, I'm really busy.”
It isn't the best greeting to the woman who gave him life, but Harry truly doesn't have time to talk about their annual Christmas family getaway for half an hour when it's the same each year. Go to their cabin in Dutch Country, get there at around 4 PM on December 22nd, bring a smile and your Christmas sweater.
“Sweetie,” Anne scoffs on the other side of the line. “If you want to cause complete disorganization because you can't spare two minutes for your mother then fine, have it your way.”
“Sorry,” Harry says offhandedly, putting the call on speakers and setting it down on his desk. He continues to type away on his laptop, trying to finish a monotonous assignment as fast as he can.
“I just wanted to check in to ask if you are bringing your boyfriend over?”
Harry stops in his tracks, his fingers uselessly hovering over the keyboard. He thought his mom would've forgotten about the imaginary boyfriend he created a few months after his breakup with Logan so she would get off his back about his being lonely. Yes, Harry might've cried for a week in his bed and yes, he wanted to settle down with Logan and live happily ever after, but things don't always work that way. Since then, Harry has pieced his heart back together and he hasn't gotten into any new relationships because for once in his life, he's enjoying the freedom of simply messing around and being young. Anne, however, is still under the impression that Harry needs someone by his side to keep him together, to keep him from being lonely or whatever.
By Harry's lies, he should be in a pretty serious relationship now.
“Uh, no, he isn't coming,” Harry says after an awkward pause, getting back to his work.
“Oh? Why not? Harry, you need to bring him over. Everyone's coming with a partner, you can't be alone. And I want to meet him. It's been ages since you've first mentioned him. You've been keeping him a secret long enough. I get that you were a bit wary about bringing home someone new after Logan but-”
Covering his eyes with his left hand, Harry sighs, interrupting his mom. “Fine, I'll bring him over. But I'm not promising anything because he has a family too and he might want to be with them.”
“Try your best, okay honey?” Anne chirps. “Then give me a call as soon as you know. Love you, sweetie. Good luck with exams.”
“Love you,” Harry replies numbly, before whispering a low “Fuck” once the line is dead.
Wonderful, truly wonderful. How is he going to find a boyfriend in two fucking weeks? This is karma, actual karma for lying about a boyfriend that doesn't exist. He learns about the inner workings of the human mind all day and then he goes and pulls this kinda shit himself. Christmas is either going to end up a disaster or smothered in more lies.
xxx
Harry has friends that are sometimes too good to be true. From hauling his drunk ass back to his dorm almost every weekend, to quizzing him for exams when he's at his wits' end, a literal human ball of stress, they prove themselves to be angels bestowed to Harry from high heavens to look over him when he's being a dumbass (which is arguably quite often). Now, Niall is the one to save him from embarrassment and cheap excuses for his mom.
After complaining about the whole Christmas ordeal in a Subway while they ate lunch, Niall ever so graciously came up with a plan so good, Harry will continue to thank him for it for the rest of his life, however long that may be.
“It's simple,” Niall shrugs, taking another bite of his sandwich. “I'll go with ya. Your mum will love me.”
“Really? You would do that?” Harry widens his eyes. “Without trying to seduce my mom?”
“Sure,” Niall replies. “She's a wonderful woman, very fit, but I can be a faithful fake boyfriend. Why not? I'm not going home this year and I've nothing better to do either way.”
“God, Niall,” Harry smiles, hugging his friend over the table. “I love you. Thank you.”
“Aye, you cunt, you love me every Friday when you're pissed off your arse,” Niall huffs and puffs but there's no animosity behind the words. “You're my best friend, Haz, course I'll help you out. I'm good as long as there are some drinks and I don't have to like… proper snog you in front of your mum.”
“No,” Harry says. “Maybe a kiss underneath the mistletoe, but not snogging .”
Niall looks at him with furrowed brows. “Your family's like… one of those crazy people who all wear matching Christmas sweater and are generally just nuts?”
Harry gasps silently. “No, of course not. That's just a nice tradition, the mistletoe. I like it. And we don't have matching Christmas sweaters but you and I should have ones because Logan and I always matched.”
“Hm,” Niall squints his eyes, sandwich hanging in his hand. “How long were you two dating?”
“More than two years,” Harry sighs. “So two Christmases in our cabin, which is more than enough for my mom to pick up that tradition.”
Niall raises his brows but doesn't say anything. Instead, he shakes his head a bit and returns to his sandwich. He then mumbles something under his breath which might sound like “Crazy Americans, God help me.” but Harry knows Niall's remarks about things are rarely serious so he lets it go.
“We need to leave for the cabin around midday on the 22nd,” Harry says then. “It's quite a long drive when there's snow so better be safe than stuck somewhere in the cold when the roads get undrivable.”
“That's cool,” Niall nods. “And we leave after New Year's Eve?”
“Yes,” Harry affirms. “It's quite long but trust me, there are things to do and even if not, there's wifi and TV so everything will be fine. And my family's really easy-going, so yeah.”
“I trust you,” Niall says, smiling a little. “You can't have a bad family if they raised you to be such a nice bloke.”
“Aw, Ni,” Harry coos. “Keep saying shit like that when we're actually pretending to be boyfriends.”
“Don't worry,” Niall wiggles his brows. “There's more from where that came from. You can rely on the Horan charm.”
“I absolutely will,” Harry laughs. “When's your last exam, by the way?”
“The 18th? I think?”
“Great,” Harry says. “Mine's on the 19th. Hopefully, I'll pass them all.”
“You will,” Niall says with a full mouth. “And then Christmas may commence and I can get spectacularly pissed as a reward for this shitty semester.”
They both burst into laughter.
xxx
Harry calls his mom that afternoon, telling her how his boyfriend is coming after all and that they're both so excited to make the trip and spend Christmas with Harry's family. Anne is ecstatic, gushing over how she can't wait to meet him and how she's happy Harry's got “someone special” to spend the most wonderful time in the year with. Harry's just grateful he won't have to make a million fake excuses and suffer through nearly two weeks of Anne's sad, pitying look, so sad that her son is just oh so alone. Harry loves his mom, he truly does, he loves her more than anyone, but her worries about Harry's love life can be overbearing sometimes.
Thanks to Niall's generosity and goodwill, Harry flies through the majority of exam season without having to stress about something other than his grades. He aces all of his exams, thankfully, and having just one left, Cultural Psychology, which is the easiest one of them. Since it's not hard and Harry's already studied, he goes out to a fancy Christmas party in a quite lavish bar. The invite was sitting on his desk for weeks and he's actually pretty unsure where it came from. Might've been Misha, a girl he dated for two weeks (meaning had sex with four times) not too long after the breakup with Logan.
It's December 16th, Harry's passed almost all of his exams, his date for the Christmas get-together is his best friend and he's having a great time. Surely, everything goes to shit that night.
Harry was ready to make out with a quite handsome older guy, tall, black hair, stubble and an air of confidence around when his phone started vibrating. There was no way in hell he would be picking up that call when he has a man like that holding onto his hips and smiling down at him but then the phone went off again. Continuing to ignore it, Harry was irked to feel his phone ring for the third time in less than five minutes. The urgency of those frequent calls was palpable so with a roll of his eyes, Harry excused himself and retreated to a hallway to pick it up.
Upon seeing the screen, Harry was met with Niall's contact pic staring right back at him.
“Are you in a life-threatening situation, Niall?” Harry says in lieu of a greeting.
Niall scoffs. “Not really. But I've bad news.”
“Are you okay?” Harry worries. “Did something happen?”
“Kind of?” Niall says. “I can't go with you to your family's Christmas thing.”
Harry's head spins, the already kaleidoscopic bar dancing all around him. He leans against a wall, gripping his phone tighter. “What?”
“You know I have that sinus surgery before Christmas?” Niall explains. “Well, my doctor said I can't go anywhere that soon. I thought it wouldn't be a problem but apparently it is. I'm really sorry cause I had no idea, these cunts didn't tell me a thing about the recovery on my last appointment. But! Don't worry, mate. I've got a replacement.”
“Niall,” Harry breathes out. “It's okay. I can't be mad at you, it's your health and it's more important than this. And thanks for the effort, but I'd rather go alone than go with one of your frat friends. Really, I love you but I can't stand those dudes.”
“Who do you think I am, Hazza?” Niall's all faux-offended. “I know you've nothing to talk about with the boys. I do have someone else for ya, and if I'm not mistaken, you two are friends.”
“I shouldn't be really surprised since you know everyone,” Harry smiles. “Is it Cameron?”
“No. Cameron,” Niall scoffs like it's the most ridiculous thing ever. “He's a pretentious cunt, I don't like him. I talked to Zayn, actually. He's a handsome bloke, I would if I was into men. So you might even get some, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh my god,” Harry whines because this is the absolute worst thing that could've happened.
“Why are you whining for? He's the hottest man in Manhattan that isn't leaving for Christmas, you should be kissing my arse.”
“Ni, I hate him,” Harry complains, his voice comparable to one of a whiny toddler.
Harry might be exaggerating but it's true that Zayn is far from his favourite person. Sure, to an outsider they might even look like friends, certainly amicable acquaintances at least but it's all just because Harry is too politely to be rude to Zayn. He can be passive-aggressive, and he is, often. But it's hard to act like Zayn, like everything's fine when Harry can still feel his heart dropping in his chest and the taste of tequila makes him wanna puke. It's hard to forget the arousal and the consequent dismissal. Betrayal, almost.
But the Venn diagram of their friend groups is nearly a perfect circle so Harry can't avoid him, no matter how hard he tries. They're not exactly friends but nor are they enemies. Harry can be extremely nice to people he doesn't like when he wants to. His mom says his smiles reels in even someone who wants to hate Harry. So Harry does smile at Zayn when they're all out together in bars or at parties, even if he doesn't truly mean it. Hell, Zayn might even think they are actually friends.
“Harry, shut up. Zayn's a lovely guy, he's hot and he agreed to go spend like two weeks with complete strangers for you. Be nice for once.”
“I'm always nice,” Harry shrieks, pulling off the wall and starting to walk in circles like a hungry lion. “And I didn't ask him to do it. He doesn't have to.”
“Oh no, he has to,” Niall says. “He owes me a favour and this is it. He'll go, even if you don't want to because it'd be good for both of you. You are both single and hot and this is a perfect opportunity. Trust me, you will have more fun with him than with me because I would just get pissed all the time and snore in your ear at night. Plus, I hog the blankets.”
“I can't believe you're making me do this,” Harry sighs. “This is going to be the worst Christmas ever.”
“Don't be stupid. And I almost forgot, I told him you two will meet before the trip, on the 20th in that coffee shop near your building at three, so you can like… chat about whatever you need.”
“Since when are you arranging meetings for me with people? What if I were busy?”
“You're not,” Niall replies easily. “You were planning to eat your weight in Christmas cookies while you watched Home Alone.”
Harry doesn't try to refute because it's, in fact, true, he was planning on doing just that. Well, maybe eating slightly fewer cookies since he tries to take care of his figure. Those abs and ass don't come for nothing.
“I know you better than you think, Styles,” Niall laughs. “I have to go, I've a party to get to. Bye, love ya, don't embarrass me in front of Zayn.”
“I wouldn't dare,” Harry replies but his mind is already somewhere else.
At least he's already in a bar so he can get drunk over this bullshit.
xxx
Harry doesn't believe in curses or magic, or whatever it is that people blame their troubles and misfortunes on. Because if he did, he'd definitely say that the phone call from Niall was cursed since from the moment he had hung up, everything seemed to go to shit.
Firstly, the guy Harry wanted to fuck was already occupied with someone else by the time Harry got back. He hasn't gotten laid in ages thanks to finals and all that, and now he had to suffer his sexual frustration for even longer.
Then Harry proceeds to get a B from his last exam, the easiest one, the one he was supposed to ace with his eyes closed and yet, there he was with a B. He doesn't even know why he got the B but he guesses it's in the past now.
And lastly, he has to meet Zayn. In… seven minutes ago and he's still a block away. So he rushes through the pedestrians walking with Christmas shopping and hot beverages in their hands, all of them happily looking at the hordes of snow all around and the snowflakes falling from the sky as if there wasn't already enough snow covering every square inch of New York City. Surely, Harry slips near the door and almost plasters over the ground. The only thing keeping him from bruising his ass and getting himself wet and dirty is the door handle, which he nearly rips out but both his ass and the handle survive.
He walks in, shaking off the mounds of snow off of himself and spots Zayn nearly immediately. At a table near the other window, thankfully not the one Harry almost slipped in front of, Zayn sits alone, the table empty save for Zayn's leather gloves. He's looking at his phone and yep, he's just as hot as he was a month and a half ago when Harry last saw him.
Harry takes a deep breath and approaches him, saying a quiet “Hi” before he begins taking his coat off. Zayn looks up, smiling upon seeing Harry and muttering a “Hello” of his own.
“Sorry I'm late,” Harry breathes out as he sits down. “The snow… you know,” he gestures with his hand.
“Yeah, no, it's fine,” Zayn smiles again. “Don't worry, you're not like… forty minutes late. It's nothing.”
Harry nods, nervously rubbing his hands over his black jeans which are somehow a little bit damp from the snow, before looking up at Zayn. “Have you ordered yet?”
“No,” Zayn shakes his head a little. “I waited for you. Figured it's the polite thing to do.”
“Polite, yeah,” Harry breathes out a laugh. “Anyways, I am so sorry Niall roped you into this. It's… embarrassing and honestly, you don't have to go with me. You barely know me, you've never met my family it's just… yeah. I don't want you to waste your break on this.”
Zayn laughs, stupidly attractive as usual and Harry wants to run away and never look back. Why is it always the jerks that are the hottest?
“It's okay, Harry,” Zayn says with his blinding smile. “You absolutely don't have to apologize. We're friends, yeah? You're not the worst company, better than my roommate's old ass dog that slobbers all over everything anyway. Besides, Niall would probably cut my balls off if I didn't go so… for the good of my possible future children, I'll go with you. It can be fun. My family doesn't really do Christmas like that either way. It'd be a new experience.”
“Is that why you're not going home?” Harry asks brazenly and the moment the question leaves his mouth, he wants to slap himself. Way to go, stick his nose in Zayn's private life before they even leave for the vacation.
“I wouldn't be going home, technically,” Zayn says then, thankfully not calling out Harry for being rude. “We always celebrate Christmas somewhere away from New York. They're all going to Switzerland, last year we went to Aspen and I nearly broke my leg snowboarding so I'm not hitting the slopes with them this year. The whole thing's a bit complicated but… whatever, what family vacation isn't, right?”
Harry terribly wants to inquire more, find some little bits and pieces about Zayn's family but the waitress comes, asking their orders. Without having taken a single look at the menu, Harry just asks for a latte with sugar, the usual thing he gets here and Zayn orders a black coffee with two sugars. Sounds disgusting but once again, Harry bites his tongue. It's not the time or place to go back to his passive-aggressive ways with Zayn. In spite of everything, he'll rather go to the family getaway with a jerk that bruised his not so fragile ego than alone.
“So, Harry,” Zayn says, his hands crossed on the table. “We're supposed to be boyfriends. What do I need to know? I don't know how long we're supposed to be dating but I assume it can't be a month since you're taking me on a family vacation with you. And as you know, in a business course I'm no theatre student but I can be good at lying when I want to.”
' I know, thanks for the first-hand experience,'' Harry thinks and contradictory to his thoughts, he smiles sweetly at Zayn.
“We've been 'dating',” Harry does the air quotes. “for about seven months. Let's say our half-year anniversary was on the 3rd. Whatever. My mom's name is Anne, dad's is Des. I have an older sister, Gemma. My auntie, her husband and her kids will be there. Betty, Paul, Matt and Jane. And I'm not sure if my uncle and his family are coming. His name's Ian, his wife's Judie and they have the most adorable kids, Nina and Lily, they're five and two. So that's about family. Oh and my granny Evelyn will definitely be there.”
“Quite a lot then,” Zayn says with a weird look on his face. “Are we going to a cabin or a hotel?”
“It's a big cabin, alright?” Harry scoffs. “They might not all come too. So, where did we meet? What was our first date like? Don't make me do all the work.”
“Um, at a party? Isn't that where everyone meets people in our day and age?” Zayn asks with a shrug. “We actually met in a bar, didn't we? Through Niall?”
Harry breathes in sharply, his nostrils flaring and he's just about to start yelling about how they did meet at a party too, not that Zayn cares enough to remember but the waitress brings them their drinks, once again saving Harry from making a fool out of himself.
“Fine, we met at a party,” Harry says dully. “What next?”
“I… asked you out for dinner and the rest was history?” Zayn tries.
“So that's what you usually do when you like someone? Woo them properly?” Harry asks, his voice cutting. He can't help himself but go back to a night in his freshman year and that terrible embarrassment and disappointment.
“Yeah, usually,” Zayn nods and takes a sip of his coffee. “I used to be a little… wilder back in like… our freshman year but I'm not really into hooking up anymore.”
“Interesting,” Harry says, his eyes burning through Zayn. So then Harry wasn't good enough even for a stupid hook up. Fine, that's fine, it's completely okay. Why should Harry care?
“Is everything okay? Do I have something on my face? You're looking at me, like…”
“Oh,” Harry shakes himself out of his little trance. “No, sorry, just got lost in my thoughts.”
“Okay,” Zayn says a little disbelievingly. “Is there anything else?”
Harry remembers then. “Matching Christmas sweaters.”
“Oh,” Zayn raises his brows. “Like… the whole family?”
“No, just me and you,” Harry says. “It was… a tradition with my ex. My mom already sent me a text hoping we don't forget our sweaters. Just- don't ask.”
“Not the worst tradition to have,” Zayn shrugs. “There could be worse things than a matching sweater. So, you have your ex's sweater or are we going shopping?”
Harry's stomach drops, realising that he never asked Logan for the sweater. It didn't make sense to do so, still doesn't because Harry doesn't want any things connecter to Logan in his possession. But now, it's quite annoying.
“I guess we're going shopping,” Harry sighs painfully.
xxx
Perhaps Harry's curse breaks because shopping for Christmas sweaters with Zayn isn't torture. They walk to an H&M not that far from the café and the streets are so busy they don't even have to talk to each other since it's basically impossible. Zayn maybe catches Harry from falling on the icy sidewalk, grabbing his elbow firmly and then snaking his arm around Harry's waist for a second but it's just an afterthought.
The store is equally as busy, if not more but they were both certain they'd find Christmas sweaters there. Their design and originality, well, Harry couldn't give less fucks about it. They pick some red ones with a reindeer that has a pom-pom on his nose and pay for them without even trying them on. Afterwards, they say bye in front of the store, leaving with the promise of texting each other about the times and all that.
Harry really wants to call Niall and complain about his awesome idea but Harry's not a heartless monster and Niall did just have his sinuses removed. He'll get a proper chewing up in the new year, if Harry survives the holidays that is. There's no way he will be able to spend more than a week pretending like he loves Zayn and like he can stand him. And if he manages to do it, it will surely be a fucking Oscar-worthy performance.
Truth be told, Harry doesn't leave his dorm room until midday on December 22nd. He might've been sulking, he might've watched six Christmas movies and he might've stalked Zayn's Instagram while drinking shitty red wine. No one will ever know though.
Zayn texted him his address and Harry begrudgingly replied that he's gonna pick him up at 12:30 PM, sharp, because they need to get there quickly due to roads and snow, which is a combination made by Satan himself. He packs at the last minute because he was too lazy to get his ass off the bed before. In the end, Harry manages to get everything into his car by 12:25 and he's at Zayn's place, magically, at 12:32. Zayn doesn't live on campus. Instead, he shares an apartment in a brownstone with a friend of his not that far from Columbia.
Harry has no trouble finding the place since Zayn's already standing outside, in a camel coat with a designer holdall on his shoulder. The snow's softly falling around them and Harry only rolls his eyes because it's not the time nor the weather for Zayn to look this put together. Who is he, honestly?
Zayn waves at him, which Harry doesn't return and only gives him a half-assed smile, before going straight to the trunk of Harry's Range Rover. Less than a minute later, Zayn's in the passenger seat, taking off his gloves and gently shaking the snow off of himself which nearly makes Harry smack him because now his car's going to be all wet. Whatever, Harry doesn't want to start a fight even before they reach the destination.
“Thanks for picking me up,” Zayn says.
Harry's now set his eyes on the road, already making his way through the snowy streets of Manhattan. “No problem. We're… boyfriends, after all. At least until January the 6th.”
“Quite short-lived one then.”
Harry just hums in response. An awkward silence fills the car so Harry turns on the radio, setting it on an indie station. With all these extra Christmas things Harry's family does that Zayn will encounter, Harry doesn't want to play Christmas music now in case Zayn starts thinking he's insane. Silence is better than a strained conversation that no one's comfortable with.
The drive stays like that for a while. Harry can see Zayn texting on his phone out of the corner of his eye but it doesn't bother him. Later they talk a bit, mainly about exams and their fake relationship. They tell each other some little facts so everyone won't see how clueless about one another they truly are. Harry learns that Zayn's favourite colour is green, he has three sisters and his guilty pleasure is superhero movies. That's probably it for successfully faking a relationship.
Thankfully, they arrive without getting stuck in a snowstorm somewhere in Pennsylvanian forests. They silently get their bags out of the trunk and walk around the car on the same side.
“Wait,” Zayn says suddenly.
Harry turns around, giving Zayn a questioning look. “Did you forget something?”
“No,” Zayn shakes his head and steps closer to Harry. “Your mom's watching. And… we haven't really tried out the whole kissing part and I assume we will have to kiss at some point this week to make this whole thing believable. This is a good opportunity to try it out and show some affection, albeit fake, when your mom believes we think no one's watching.”
' We have kissed before, I just wasn't important enough to you for you to care,' Harry wants to say. He doesn't.
Instead, Harry puts his free hand on Zayn's cheek and pulls him into a kiss. Their lips touch, this delicious warmth spreading all over. Harry moves his lips experimentally, lightly running his tongue along Zayn's bottom lip, asking for permission. Surprisingly, he opens his mouth and meets Harry's tongue with his, the kiss immediately firing up. Zayn puts his hands on Harry's hips and that's when Harry ruts him, meeting him in the middle. They're both wearing coats so the effect is a bit lost but Harry thinks he made his point. Zayn surely won't fucking forget this kiss.
Harry pulls away when Zayn least expects it, smiling cockily as he grabs Zayn's hand and hauls him towards the front door. Zayn's a bit stunned from the abrupt ending and his lips are kissed red. That's a good step forward, if Harry says so himself. At least now he knows how Harry felt all that time ago.
There's a warm feeling spreading through Harry's chest, not from the kiss but the sight of their family cabin makes him happier than he's been in months. The bright red building has a stables look to it, but it's only ever been a cabin. With its white windows and double light-brown doors, it's something straight out of a fairytale but it's here in the real world. This place holds more happy memories than any other and not even being here with a guy that bruised Harry's heart and ego can tarnish this holiday.
The first time Harry remembers spending Christmas here, he was about four years old. Even back then, the whole family was together and happiness was just radiating everywhere. He remembers fighting with Gemma about who gets to open their presents first on the Christmas morning and also burning his hand by putting it on the scorching oven door while his mom was baking gingerbread cookies. This is a happy place, one that feels like a warm duvet at the end of a freezing day, where nothing bad can happen and nothing can hurt you. The solace of it has been a constant and Harry can't wait till he brings his own kids here one day.
Before Harry even has the chance to put his hand on the doorknob, the door opens and his mom appears, wearing a red sweater with a white festive pattern. Subtle, yet Christmas-y enough. She smiles, opening her arms and Harry goes easily, embracing his mom on the doorstep. He breathes in the smell of her perfume, the one she's been using ever since he was little. Thanksgiving was the last time they saw each other, which wasn't a long time ago but Harry still missed her more than anything.
“Oh, my baby boy,” Anne coos as she pulls away from Harry, keeping her hands on his shoulders. “I'm so happy to see you. And who is this handsome young gentleman you've brought along?”
Anne's already grinning at Zayn, who's been standing a few steps behind Harry the whole time. Harry twists his head to look back, watching his fake boyfriend.
“That's Zayn, mom,” Harry says with much less enthusiasm than when he introduced Logan to his mom. “My boyfriend. Zayn, this is my mom.”
Anne walks down the three steps leading to the door, wrapping Zayn in a hug right away instead of shaking his hand. “It's so nice to finally meet you! Harry's been telling me so much about you but he's been keeping you a secret for ages . I was beginning to think you didn't even exist!”
“Thank you for letting me spend the holidays with you, Mrs Styles,” Zayn smiles, ever so charming, the bastard. “It's a real pleasure to finally meet the woman that raised Harry to be such a wonderful guy.”
“Oh, stop with the flattery!” Anne waves her hand. “And please, call me Anne. I'm not that old yet. You're basically family either way. Now come on in, both of you. It's freezing outside.”
They follow Anne inside the house, the warmth immediately enveloping them. The living room with a massive brick fireplace is empty and strangely silent, except for the crackling of the wood. It's festive like every other year with a Christmas tree in one corner and wreaths everywhere. There's mistletoe and holly hanging around. The lingering smell of candles and baking mixes with fire. Harry's soul feels at peace.
“No one's here yet?” Harry asks, already following Anne upstairs after he's taken off his boots.
“Granny's here, she's resting in her room. And your dad. He's getting wood outside. Gemma texted me that she's gonna be here a bit later because she had a last-minute thing at work. And Ian with Judie and the babies aren't coming. They might pop in for a bit on the 26th.”
“Since when doesn't Gemma tell me stuff?” Harry scoffs. “If she's late we could've waited for her. We live in the same city.”
“Oh, you know how she is,” Anne sighs. “Too busy for everything but her phone and laptop.”
They finally reach the room Harry usually stays in now, having graduated to an “adult” room once he started bringing Logan around. It has a queen-sized bed instead of bunk beds like the two “kid” rooms do.
“I've a surprise for you,” Anne grins. “Why don't you come in and see?”
Harry warily eyes his mom, unsure about what the surprise could be. It can't be a present since it's literally Christmas in a few days.
He opens the door slowly and he sees the surprise immediately. It turns out to be a black and white cat that Harry loves more than any people probably. His cat Evie, that unfortunately still lives with his mom because of the no pets policy in his dorms, is lying on the bed, comfortably twitching her ears in her sleep and purring so loud Harry can hear it all the way to the door.
“Oh my god, mom,” Harry gasps, already walking to Evie. “I missed her so much.”
Harry drops his bag on the floor which wakes Evie up. She lifts her head and with sleepy green eyes looks up at Harry before shaking off. Her eyes widen when she sees who it is and she gets up, stretching and then meowing at Harry. He takes her in his arms immediately, cuddling her and kissing her little forehead over and over again while he whispers how much he missed her into her fur.
“I'll leave you to get settled, boys,” Harry hears Anne say somewhere behind his back before the door closes with a click.
Zayn walks around the bed, putting down his bag on the bed, which Harry would complain because there are so many germs on travel bags but Evie's more important.
“So… it looks like we'll be sharing a bed,” Zayn says then, taking off his coat.
Harry only then looks at the bed. One bed. And fuck. He didn't even realise that they would be sharing. It's not like he can send Zayn to sleep with his cousins or have him sleep on the floor, he's not that mean. Whatever, Harry's shared bed with worse people, he's sure. As long as Zayn won't steal all the blankets, Harry's mostly fine with it. There can be two feet of space between them, it's not like the bed is tiny.
“It's fine,” Harry says. “Or do you mind?”
“No, I don't,” Zayn shakes his head.
“Good.”
The awkward, stilted silence from the car makes an appearance again. It would've been worse had Evie not been there. Now Harry can just pet her and cuddle her all the time and mostly ignore Zayn. How wonderful?
“What's her name?” Zayn asks, walking to Harry from the other side of the bed.
“Evie,” Harry says and resists the urge to protectively hug her against his chest. “I've had her since high school. Mom rescued her when she was just a few weeks old.”
Zayn comes closer, outstretching his hand towards Evie and letting her sniff his knuckles before he gently pets her head. Evie leans into it and purrs again, the traitor.
“She's adorable,” Zayn smiles softly, looking down at her while he scratches her chin. “I love cats but my dad's a dog guy so we always had dogs. I'd absolutely love to foster some kittens but with college, I doubt I'd have time. Well, at least there are always cat cafés. And shelters, even though I usually just donate instead of volunteering because, once again, college.”
Harry curiously looks at Zayn, but he's staring down at Evie as he pets her. This is some news. Being an animal lover and someone who donates to pet charities weren't things Harry would've really associated with Zayn. The new knowledge startles Harry a bit and perhaps makes him resent Zayn just a teeny tiny bit less. If Zayn loves cats that much, Harry can't completely hate him.
“That's nice,” Harry mumbles, rubbing his thumb over Evie's toe beans. “You wanna go downstairs? Mom might have some snacks ready.”
“I'll unpack first,” Zayn says as he lifts his head, his hand leaving Evie's fur. “But you can go, we don't have to be attached at the hip.”
Harry nods, attempting a close-lipped smile. He leaves without any words, Evie still in his arms.
When he gets downstairs, Evie starts to get antsy so he lets her jump out of his arms and roam around. Anne is in the kitchen, putting sugar cookies on a cooling rack.
“Hey, mom,” Harry says, sitting down on a barstool at the kitchen island.
“Oh, hi,” Anne lifts up her head, smiling as she pushes her hair out of her face. “Where's Zayn?”
“Upstairs, unpacking,” Harry answers sluggishly. “He'll be down in a minute.”
“He's so handsome, Harry,” Anne says, getting back to the cookies. “ Much more handsome than, Logan. Seems nicer too. You are a cute couple. I was getting worried about you for a minute when you broke up with Logan.”
Harry just hums. He plays with his rings, his eyes glued to his fingers. If only she knew. Fine, Zayn might be handsome but Harry's not too sure about the nice part. Well, he doesn't behave like an asshole in mundane situations but Harry's been left in a frat house bathroom without a single word and that isn't nice, is it?
“Oh, look who I found!” comes from the doorway.
Harry turns on his stool and sees his grandma Evelyn dragging Zayn into the room, her arm hooked around his. She's smiling brightly, her white curly hair making a halo around her head in the light. Harry loves her dearly, especially for her youthful spirit.
“Yep, that would be Zayn,” Harry says, the smile impossible to keep off his face as he sees his grandma. “Hey, granny. I've missed you.”
“Harry, darling,” Evelyn smiles, still not letting go of Zayn. “My favourite grandchild. Look at this beau you got yourself. If I were fifty years younger, I'd let him take me out to get milkshakes and pie.”
Zayn bites his lower lip, trying to keep in the laughter. His eyes close then as his cheeks get pink. He should start getting used to Evelyn's comments if he's supposed to be here for two weeks.
“Mom, please leave Harry's boyfriend alone,” Anne says playfully. “They've only just got here.”
“Alright, alright,” Evelyn unhands Zayn and puts her hands up. “I'm just being friendly. Now I want to know how my favourite grandson's been.”
“Wasn't it grandchild overall a minute ago?” Harry teases.
Evelyn waves her hand. “Same difference. And you know why you're my favourite?”
Harry rolls his eyes, a smile breaking through. “Because I can bake your apple pie the best.”
“Because you can bake my apple pie the best,” Evelyn nods contentedly.
Zayn, who is now occupying the stool next to Harry, gives him a questioning look, but it's not ill-tempered. Harry just mouths “ it's a long story” before he dives in to tell Evelyn all about his exams, the terribly snowed in NYC and the massed of people he had to fight through while shopping for presents.
In the meantime, he expertly lies about some things that make his relationship with Zayn oh-so-real . According to Harry's lies, they went ice skating a few times in December, saw a play of the Christmas Carol and last night, watched some Christmas movies in bed while they ate cookies and drank hot cocoa. Harry's quite proud of himself for coming up with it on the spot. He even kisses Zayn's cheek once and calls him sweetie. That Oscar's already materializing.
xxx
Harry's dad comes in a few minutes later, shaking off the snow off of himself and muttering about how cold it is. He shrugs his coat off and joins them in the kitchen.
“How was New York?” he asks as he comes to hug Harry quickly. “Were the roads bad?”
“No, not at all. It's just snow, nothing too terrible,” Harry says and begrudgingly smiles. “Dad, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Zayn.”
“Oh, nice to meet you,” Des shakes Zayn's hand, who gives him a blinding smile in turn. Honestly, who is he? Harry can't equate it in his mind how can Zayn be so freaking nice to his family. Logan was trying to run away twenty minutes after arriving every year.
Harry tunes out the chit-chat between his dad and Zayn, talking about college and whatnot. Yes, yes, Zayn's studying business at Columbia, he's a shining example of a human being and in real life, without any lies and Niall forcing them into this, they never would've dated because Zayn probably only dates other trust fund kids like himself. His ex is a fucking model now, c'mon. Harry's so out of his league it's sickening.
Harry's brought out of his bitter inner conversations with himself by his dad's raucous laughter. He looks over at him and Zayn, both of them laughing about something. God, why can't Zayn just be hideous? Harry knows very well that Niall has friends that don't look like goddamn models. This is some kind of cosmic punishment for him, isn't it?
“Why didn't you bring your boyfriend around sooner, Harry?” Des slaps Harry on the shoulder as he walks past him to get to the fridge. “Logan acted like we all had the bubonic plague and didn't know the alphabet. He wasn't fun to be around.”
Harry groans and covers his face with his hands, his elbows on the breakfast bar. “Why can't you guys just let Logan go? We broke up.”
“He wasn't very nice, Harry,” Anne says and reaches over the counter to ruffle his hair. “We just want the best for you.”
That only gets another groan out of Harry. He feels a hand on the small of his back then, startling him. When he looks at Zayn, he only gives Harry a small smile and whispers, “How bad was Logan that acting like a normal human being gets this reaction out of your parents?”
Harry refrains from rolling his eyes. “He was kind of pretentious, okay? Always felt like this was a bit too Hallmark movie for him but he did come with me, didn't he?” He raises his voice enough then so the whole room hears him. “I don't only date assholes, okay?” Even if that statement might be a bit untrue considering his and Zayn's history but after all, they're not dating, are they? So Zayn's free to whore around New York all he wants, it's not Harry's business. When they're back in Manhattan in January, this will all be over.
“Okay, I trust you, babe,” Zayn says and then goddamn winks at Harry, like this is all a fun game. And maybe it is, Harry realizes then. It is a game because none of this is real. Why should he be miserable during a great holiday with his family? They can make a game out of it, Harry grins.
“Of course you do, honey,” Harry smiles sweetly at Zayn and smacks a kiss on his lips, starling him a little.
The game's on. Harry doesn't think there is a score, or if anyone's keeping it if there is but he's ready to play.
xxx
Gemma finally comes in just as everyone's gathered around for dinner. It's nothing fancy, just mashed potatoes, some vegetables and a whole roast chicken from Whole Foods. She apologizes profusely, complaining about this last-minute thing at work that she had to get done today.
“It's alright, darling,” Anne says after hugging Gemma, going back to the table. “Just grab a plate and join us. Take one for Peter too. Is he getting your bags from the car?”
“Peter isn't here,” Gemma says off-handedly. She kisses the top of Harry's head from behind his chair, the plate already in her hand. “Hi, baby bro. And hi Harry's very handsome boyfriend, do you have working eyesight?”
“You wench,” Harry elbows her in the ribs as she takes a seat next to him. She just sticks her tongue out at him and goes to put some food on her plate.
“Why wouldn't I?” Zayn chuckles. “Anyone would be lucky to be with Harry. And I'm Zayn, by the way, it's shorter than Harry's handsome boyfriend.”
Gemma quirks her brow at Harry before leaning over his to talk to Zayn. “I've known Harry for almost twenty-one years, you won't be saying that in a few months.”
“Funny that you're saying that,” Harry muses between bites. “Considering your boyfriend dumped you.”
Gemma gives him an amused look. “ I dumped him because he was insufferable.”
“Then you two were a perfect match!” Harry grins at Gemma and pinches her cheek. “Did you buy me a gift?”
“Yes, coal and a horse dildo, you slag,” Gemma laughs and kisses Harry's cheek quickly, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I missed you, dumbass. We gotta talk about your too perfect boyfriend later.”
Anne clears her throat. “Gemma, aren't you missing something?”
Gemma looks around the table, her eyes stopping at the bottle of red wine. “Oh, yeah,” she says, pouring herself a cup. “Thanks, mom. Needed this after dealing with those Swedes all afternoon.”
“No,” Anne huffs. “You somehow forgot to tell us that you and Peter broke up. I thought he was coming over for Christmas.”
Gemma takes a few gulps of the wine, before setting it down and looking at Anne. “Well, I didn't tell you. Sorry. It happened, now you know. I don't wanna talk about it, mom, okay? Grill Harry or something.”
“Why me?” Harry exclaims with his mouth full before swallowing. “I haven't fucked up in a long time!”
Evelyn snickers across the table. But his mom has a different idea.
“Well,” Anne says and takes a sip of her wine. “You haven't told us how you and Zayn met.”
Harry exchanges a nervous look with Zayn. This is gonna turn into a full-on investigation. They're not ready for it. But as a twist of fate or whatever, Zayn puts his hand atop Harry's on the table, giving him a smile straight out of a billboard.
“We've known each other for a while now. We met through Niall, at a party,” Zayn says, sprinkling in a bit of truth that he isn't even aware of. “But then we kind of re-met earlier this year, once again at one of Niall's parties. And Harry was just…” Zayn takes a moment to think, looking straight at Harry. And Harry swallows on nothing, unable to break the eye contact. “Lovely. He was lovely.” Zayn finishes, still looking at Harry for a beat before blinking and looking down, his eyelashes fanning over his eyes.
“I asked him out for dinner,” Zayn continues, his hand now away from Harry's, the warmth replaced by an apparent chill. “And the rest was history, I guess. We hit it off and we've been dating for around six months.”
Harry gathers himself, knowing he can't let charade this become a one-man show. “We've been taking a bit slow but it got kinda impossible. We're just head over heels in love now. Can't be without him for more than a day.”
“He's always blowing up my phone,” Zayn chuckles artificially. “And we spend so much time together it's stupid we haven't moved in together but we both have a lease until graduation, so. Guess we'll see after that.”
“Graduation is in summer, isn't it?” Des wonders. “What are you planning after that, Zayn? Grad school?”
Zayn hums, not really looking at anyone. “I'll probably just start working at my dad's company.”
“Oh really?” Des asks. “What kinda company.”
“Investments and stuff,” Zayn clears his throat. “Really boring things. I won't try to put you all to sleep with it.”
“Are you interested in it as well?” Anne inquiries.
Harry watches Zayn take a deep breath before answering. “Not quite. I wanted to study law but my parents had too good of an argument against going into environmental law.”
“You wanted to study that?” Harry asks before he can stop himself.
Zayn gives him a small smile, one that doesn't reach his eyes. “Yeah. I must've told you about it before, babe.”
“Yeah,” Harry breathes in sharply. “It had to slip my mind.” He plasters a close-lipped grin over his face and gets back to his food.
“Are you excited about your work experience class, Harry?” Anne asks then. Harry doesn't actually mind being asked about this, thankfully. She just better not ask about something as menial as Zayn's birthday because he's fucked.
“Yeah, I can't wait,” Harry smiles genuinely. “I've got some materials here with me for the internship to go over during the break too.”
“Really?” Zayn's the one to ask this time. “What is it?”
“It's the support group for queer teens dealing with internalized homophobia,” Harry answers, quickly coming to his senses. “I told you about this, babe, remember?”
“Oh yeah,” Zayn acts along. “I just wasn't sure which one you took because you were deciding between this and that other thing with the- you know what I mean.”
“Right,” Harry laughs and waves a hand. “I was so swamped with finals I barely had the time to think about this.”
“Yeah, same,” Zayn chuckles, looking at Harry's parents then, in a performance worthy of a B-rate film. “The final season was insane this year. It was so hard studying and then trying to do some fun things so we don't go insane. But we managed, after all, didn't we, baby?”
“We did,” Harry grins at Zayn. “We're just so good at multitasking.”
“Right?” Zayn nods at him with a smile.
There might be an air of awkwardness around the table but Harry resolutely ignores it. No matter how many ugly looks Gemma gives him, Harry's not compromising his cover. She would never let him live this down.
xxx
Everyone retires to bed quite soon and Harry would've been thankful to finally be away from the questions but then it's gonna be just him and Zayn. What the fuck are they gonna talk about? Do they even have anything in common? Well, they both love cats. And are too fucking weak for them, which Harry learned after he saw Zayn slipping Evie some of his chicken underneath the table, which Harry normally does too but now his cat has decided that she's a traitor and a war criminal.
The beginning of their night in the room is quiet, as they both silently take turns in the bathroom to brush their teeth and change into their pyjamas. Zayn turns up in a white t-shirt and plaid pyjama bottoms and Harry only now remembered that Zayn has quite a lot of nice tattoos. That can be another conversation starter perhaps. They both have tattoos. There, that's an awkward silence avoided.
As they're getting into bed, Harry has to once again ask if Zayn doesn't mind sharing.
Zayn chuckles, getting under the covers promptly. “Harry, trust me, I've shared a bed with way worse people than you. I shared a bed with a drunk Niall once and I woke up to being literally pushed out of it. You can't be as bad as Niall after three pints of Guinness and god knows how many shots of whiskey.”
“I won't try to push you out, I promise,” Harry chuckles softly as he gets into bed as well. “I can't promise I won't hog the blankets but that's not a conscious decision so don't blame the awake me.”
“I think I can deal with that,” Zayn lets out a laugh. Silence falls over them as they both stare at the ceiling, as much space between them as possible. If this is how it's gonna go, this Christmas break will be awkward as hell.
“How did I do as a fake boyfriend tonight?” Zayn asks after a few strained minutes pass. The sheer absurdity of the situation makes Harry laugh. His life is now a fucking Hallmark movie. Fake dating, how does that even happen in real life? Harry's life hasn't been anything out of the ordinary so how does shit like fake dating even stumble upon him?
“You've been great,” Harry says around a laugh. He finally calms down then, turning his head on the pillow to find Zayn already looking at him with a slight smirk, his eyes bright in the darkness. “But really, Zayn thank you for doing this. It's crazy. If Niall came to me , telling me to go and pretend to be some guy's boyfriend for the holidays I'd call him insane and leave. How did he even get you here?”
“I already told you, Haz, I don't mind,” Zayn smiles a little. “I didn't have any plans either way. And so far, this has been fun. Your family is amazing. This cabin and the whole family Christmas thing is great, truly. I don't have a reason to lie to you. If I felt horrible here I'd just lie about coming down with a horrible flu or something and I'd go back to New York.”
“Well,” Harry's lips turn into a smile on their own accord. “You're welcome to fake anything to get out of here if you feel uncomfortable or if it's too much for you.”
“Thanks but I don't think I'll need it,” Zayn shrugs. “I've been having a good time, so far.”
“I'm glad,” Harry nods softly, still looking at Zayn. He's too lazy to turn his head back up so he watches Zayn, who isn't too keen to go back to staring at the boring, white ceiling. Harry must admit that Zayn has a pretty impressive bone structure. Not that he cares. Not that he still doesn't remember how Zayn's cheekbones looked like in the shitty light of that frat party. He does, he just can't let it hang over his head constantly because he will go insane come January. This can be a fun holiday, even with this anvil hovering above, waiting to drop and shatter everything. It's all just a fucking game of fooling Harry's family.
“Why does your family hate your ex Logan so much?” Zayn asks out of nowhere. Harry sighs, finally turning his head back up. He'd rather count the cracks in the ceiling but this will eventually come up. Gemma and his granny have no fucking filter on their mouths. It's better Zayn hears it from him.
“You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna,” Zayn says then, his voice quiet. “It's not of my business, really. I was just wondering.”
“No, it's fine,” Harry lets out a breath. “He never liked it here but came over because I literally threw a scene every time. It didn't feel like it back then. I thought it was just normal. I loved him, I really did but I realized he didn't really care about me as much. I was easy. Always there if he wanted to fuck or go out or do anything. It was an unspoken thing but since that asshole never did anything for me, he had to come here on Christmas. He was being a miserable twat about it, never really liked my family. Hated Gemma because she told me to break up with him multiple times. But I was in love.
“He was a musician. He was a bit older than me but I hit on him, not the other way. It wasn't a power thing or something. I was so into him and the first few months were great. He wrote a few songs about me and I was done for. Our relationship overstayed its welcome but like I told you, it was easy for him and for me too I guess. Our breakup was bad, because I had still been under the impression that he was the one for me but I opened my eyes, thankfully. He had been cheating on me for months with girls because he just decided that being with a guy wasn't for him after all. Took him nearly two years to find that out. Sorry, I started rambling.”
“No, no, it's okay,” Zayn says. “Thanks for telling me. You didn't have to, it's quite personal.”
Harry looks at him and tries a smile. “You're supposed to be my boyfriend, you should know at least about one shitty ex, yeah?”
“You want me to return the favour?” Zayn laughs. “Because I do have a few shitty ones.”
Harry bites back the passive-aggressive remark, about the girl that he saw Zayn kissing at that frat party. “Sure, why not?”
“Well, one of my ex-girlfriends left me for a 40-year-old man,” Zayn chuckles. “It wasn't even a sugar daddy thing because she was already rich. Her name's Amanda. Last I heard about her she moved with him to Russia so God only knows what's happening with her now.”
“Jesus!” Harry guffaws. “You're shitting me.”
“No, I swear,” Zayn laughs. “It was like, last year, I think. I don't think it's ever gonna stop haunting me.”
“What about that blonde girl you dated around the time we met?” Harry asks either way. He can't help but wonder who was the girl that was not good enough to stay faithful for yet important enough that Zayn went back to her.
Zayn looks at Harry with furrowed brows. “You know about Gigi?”
“Yeah, I mean,” Harry clears his throat awkwardly. “You brought her to one of Niall's parties once.”
“Oh,” Zayn's voice trails off. “We're still friends, Gigi and I. She dropped out because of modelling and we stopped dating then but we keep in touch. We had coffee like a week ago.”
“Why not stay together then?” Harry prods.
Zayn chuckles. “She's gay. We've known each other for a long time and we started dating just to try it out. She always jokes that she was into me because I'm too pretty for a guy and that I'm good at, ehm, oral but that's a bit too much oversharing and you absolutely didn't need that information. Whatever, point is, we've known each other for ages and no one knows a fucking thing about themselves at the start of college.”
Harry doesn't even know what to say, his mind working at around a million miles per second. He didn't need the mental image of that. Zayn casually talking about his oral skills when Harry hasn't fucked anyone in months is depressing and frustrating. So Harry just chuckles, yawning fakely.
“I think I'm gonna call it a night,” Harry yawns again. “Thanks for a contribution in the shitty and not-so-shitty exes segment. Goodnight, Zayn.”
“Night, Harry,” Zayn says. They turn their backs to each other and that's a day over, even if Harry actually can't sleep for a long time afterwards, his mind ridden with the images of his and Zayn's first encounter and the imaginary ones prompted by Zayn's bit of oversharing. It's gonna be a long night for Harry, that's for sure.
xxx
Harry feels like it's too damn early when he wakes up. The sun is barely peeking through the curtains but somehow, he feels rested enough. He's usually a morning person but after those shitty few weeks of finals, he seemed to sleep for more and more time each day as the exhaustion caught up with him.
But not only does he feel well-rested, he feels an arm wrapped around his waist and it takes a lot for Harry not to freak out. He clearly remembers falling asleep with him and Zayn back to back. How the fuck did he not wake up when at some point during the night, Zayn wrapped an arm around his waist and their legs got tangled together?
Harry stops freaking out and starts to think about what to do about this situation. Is he supposed to wake Zayn and tell him to move? Should he just slink out of bed and act like nothing happened? When he thinks about it, he's not exactly uncomfortable. Zayn is warm and the weight of his arm is comforting. But then Harry realizes that this is very weird. It's one thing unconsciously cuddling someone but knowingly staying in this situation when you're scarcely friends just feels creepy.
So instead, Harry very, very carefully gets out of bed and goes to take a shower in the en-suite. When he's finished, Zayn is still in deep sleep so Harry decides to leave him be and go downstairs. He doesn't look like much of a morning person either way.
Once he gets downstairs, he finds his mom already in the kitchen, a cup of coffee on the counter as she prepares things to decorate gingerbread cookies.
“Morning, mom,” Harry says, his voice still rough, kissing her on the cheek before he goes to the coffee maker. He pours himself a cup before grabbing one of the pastries on the counter.
“Morning, sweetie,” Anne chirps. “You wanna decorate these with me? Or are you planning to do something with Zayn?”
Harry nearly scoffs. “We've nothing planned. I'd love to help you.” He snacks on two croissants and some other thing that has raisins in it as he moves around the kitchen, automatically helping with the things and putting the whole picture together. He and Gemma have been doing this with their mom ever since they were little kids. It's like he's on autopilot now.
“Is he still in bed?” Anne wonders as they fill piping bags with white and coloured icing.
“Yep,” Harry nods. “Not big on mornings.”
“Are you happy with him, darling?” Anne asks out of nowhere as she decorates a gingerbread man. Harry watches her in confusion, icing leaking from his piping bag as Anne draws some glasses on the cookie.
“Why would you ask that, mom?” Harry wonders, slightly panicked.
Anne straightens her back, sighing. “You two were acting a bit off during dinner last night.”
“No,” Harry says quickly. God, if his cover is blown he's fucked. “We're fine. It was just a lot lately with college and stuff. We're fine, honestly. He loves me so much, it's nothing like with Logan. We talk and spend time together and we have a lot of things in common. We both… like tattoos a lot. And animals! Did you know he donates to pet charities and shelters?”
“Sweetheart,” Anne gives him a slight smile. “I'm not doubting that Zayn isn't a good guy. He's a very nice fella. I was just wondering if you had any troubles. You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?”
Harry looks at her for a moment, a crease between his brows. “Yeah, of course. But we're fine, mom, I promise. We're really happy together.”
“Then I'm more than happy,” Anne smiles at him and goes back to the gingerbread.
Harry feels fucking awful for lying to his mom. There is nothing more he wants than to tell her the truth. Just tell her that none of this is real, that he and Zayn are not even friends, not really. That he's honestly fine after Logan, even if he hasn't dated anyone since. But she worries about him so much because yeah, Harry was a mess for a while but he's not anymore. So this is essentially a harmless lie. In a few months, or next Christmas, his mom will remember Zayn only as the nice boyfriend Harry brought over for holiday that one year and this charade won't be anything more than a footnote in the whole story. But in the meantime, Harry has to keep his cover.
As time goes on, his dad and grandma come into the kitchen, Gemma eventually joining them as well. Evelyn and Des watch some god-awful Christmas film on TV while Gemma's too preoccupied with her laptop. Harry's back is starting to hurt from being hunched over the cookies but he can't complain.
Zayn stumbles down around eleven in the morning. Harry was suspicious that he was just staying in the room for as long as he could, away from Harry and his family but when Zayn gets to the kitchen, he's truly barely awake and his hair is still a bit damp from the shower, lying flat against his forehead instead of the quiff he was sporting yesterday. He looks more vulnerable than he always does, more approachable, younger. Harry's a bit perplexed at the sight.
So Harry pulls him into a kiss, a proper one, not the silly pecks from before. He needs to prove that this is real, even if it isn't. There can't be an ounce of suspicious if this is supposed to work. They stop once only Gemma yells at them to get a room.
“Morning,” Harry tells Zayn as he lets him go. “It's nearly lunch now, Sleeping Beauty.”
Zayn looks at him suspiciously for a while before shaking his head and just going with it. “Need my beauty sleep, baby. You can thank me later.”
Harry grins to himself. They're getting better at this. Broadway's got nothing on them.
xxx
To further ease the suspicion, Harry volunteers to go do some last-minute shopping in the town along with Zayn. Normally, he would never willingly spend time with Zayn alone if he didn't have to but if they were actually dating, they would want to get away, right? Harry knows that if this was real, he would want to show Zayn around the small town nearby with its quaint main road and neighbours that say hi to each other in the street. One wouldn't believe such a place was just over an hour away from New York but it is.
So around one in the afternoon, they bundle up to shield themselves from the snow, Harry grabs Zayn's hand and hauls him away from the cabin into the town. It's quite a short walk thanks to a shortcut through a small patch in the forest.
“Are you taking me out here to murder me and say that I was mauled by bears?” Zayn asks once they reach the tree line. Their gloved hands are still linked together. Harry doesn't pay it much attention.
“No, I'm selling you to the local witch for eternal youth,” Harry retorts. “She's gonna eat you and I'll be young forever.”
“That's a good deal,” Zayn quips. “What if we kidnap some children in town instead? I wanna get in on it. Besides, I don't think I'd taste that good.”
“Well, that's not for me to decide,” Harry chuckles. “The witch is gonna eat you, not me.”
“How far is this town?” Zayn asks then. Harry narrowly avoids falling over a tree branch as he strains his neck to see the end of the path. It's close, he can see the church's spire already.
“Just a little longer,” Harry replies. “Five minutes, tops. But I have to warn you, city boy, this is no Manhattan. There's no Starbucks and Trader Joe's.”
Zayn scoffs. “Thank god there aren't those. If they were, I'd be really worried about just how fucked up the consumerism is in this country.”
“Don't start philosophizing on me,” Harry teases him. “We're nearly there.”
It takes them just a few minutes to get to the main street. Brooks Falls is truly small but the community here is great. Coming here always feels like home, for some reason. The atmosphere of those small shops littering the only street in town with proper sidewalks permeates your skin and doesn't leave. There is even a small bookstore, its walls seemingly soaked in the smell of books and coffee. With snow covering everything around them and still falling down without any intention to stop, the window displays with their Christmas lights and trees call out invitingly.
“This is cute,” Zayn remarks as they walk down a sidewalk, headed for the only grocery store in town. “Very Sweet Home Alabama. The rom-coms here practically write themselves.”
Harry laughs. “Yeah, right? Walking down here, it feels like I'm gonna be a witness to a meet-cute at any moment.”
They don't fuss around at the grocery store, quickly getting the stuff that Harry's mom wrote down on a list and then they head to the checkout. Clive, the owner who's usually at the till, recognizes Harry right away. Harry's known him basically his whole life. Clive is now old and grey, but still has the same enthusiasm that he had when Harry was a boy coming here with his mom, begging for that huge bubblegum Clive had in a jar by the till.
“Hello, Harry,” Clive smiles at him while scanning the stuff from the belt. “Here for the holidays already?”
“Hey, Clive,” Harry greets him. “Yeah, we got here yesterday. Mom sent us out to get a few things for tomorrow she forgot. How's Nancy doing? I heard she had some trouble with her hip. Really sorry to hear that.”
“Oh, she's better now,” Clive nods. “Had a surgery. She's up and runnin' now. How's that school of yours? And you brought a new fella with you, I see?”
Harry exchanges a brief look with Zayn. His cheeks have a pink tint on them and Harry doesn't think it's from the cold. A small smile appears on his lips before he turns to Clive again. “Yeah. Got myself a new fella.” Harry bites his lip a little to stop himself from grinning. “And college is great, I'm graduating in June.”
“That's good,” Clive drawls, putting a hand on his hip. “I would swear you were runnin' round here with your sister, fightin' about scooters and whatnot last week. Time's a tricky bastard, eh? That'll be $23.45 total, please.”
“We still bicker like that, trust me,” Harry chuckles as he hands Clive the cash. “Keep the change. And tell Nancy I said hi. Merry Christmas!”
They walk out of the warmth of the grocery store, each with tote bags of groceries with them. It's still snowing and their breath immediately turns into mist. The snow creaks underneath their boots as they walk in silence, no longer holding hands as they did when they got here.
“How long have you been coming here?” Zayn asks Harry after a too-long moment of quiet.
“My whole life, basically,” Harry replies. “We also come here in summer. There's a small lake near our house. This time of year, it's frozen over and great for ice skating. None of that Central Park crowded bullshit.”
“That's really nice,” Zayn says, his voice tinged with something Harry can't quite put his finger on. “My family always just goes… somewhere. It's never the same. I mean, yeah it's nice seeing so many places but there was never any sense of stability in it. I'm like the only introvert in a family full of extroverts who can't sit still, even if it doesn't seem like it so it was a bit shitty sometimes.”
Harry furrows his brows, looking at Zayn. “You really don't seem like an introvert.”
“Yeah, I know,” Zayn lets out a chuckle. “I'm just used to acting like an extrovert.”
“You might be an ambivert,” Harry muses. “Somewhere in the middle of it all.”
“Is that a bookstore?” Zayn ignores Harry's suggestion.
Harry looks across the street at Rosie's Petals . “Yep. It's a bookstore. Don't think it's open.”
“No, it is,” Zayn squints at it. “Yeah, they're open. You mind going?”
Harry looks at him for a while, not having a valid reason not to agree. “Why not?”
They cross the street without looking out for any cars. It's a day before Christmas, there's not gonna be anyone driving. Not that many cars drive around here the rest of the year.
Inside the bookstore, there's a girl Harry's never seen at the counter. She gives them a quick look from behind her book and goes back to reading. It might be Rosie's niece. Rosie has always been a staple in this bookstore but even she's getting older and Harry's not surprised that she's handed down at least part of her duties to someone younger.
“You wanna get something?” Harry asks Zayn as they wander around the small store. Its bookshelves are old but charming, the shelves bent from decades of weight on them. There are old books and new, a fascinating mix that would look mannered, artificial in Manhattan but here, it's just how it is. Harry's sometimes overwhelmed with gratitude that Brooks Falls hasn't been discovered by bloggers and influencers yet.
“Yeah, probably,” Zayn mumbles, grabbing a book from the self. “I wanted to bring something to read but I forgot. Have you read this?”
Harry looks at the book Zayn's holding up. Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari. “No, I haven't. But I've read the first one. Sapiens, I think. This is probably the sequel.”
“Oh, okay,” Zayn frowns and puts the book back. He touches the spines of a few books with the tips of his fingers before pulling out another book. “A Court of Thorns and Roses. I'm getting this one.”
“Isn't that like… young adult fantasy?” Harry furrows his brows. Zayn doesn't look like the type to read YA novels.
“Yeah, I know,” Zayn quips and starts slowly walking towards the checkout. “These kind of books aren't the most well-written books ever but they're fun and often they have an interesting plot. It's good to escape our painfully mundane world. Wouldn't you like to like, I don't know, ride a dragon sometimes or have magic?”
Harry stops for a second to think, both shocked at what just came out of Zayn's mouth and to find an answer. Zayn looks too composed and collected to be someone who reads fantasy books. Perhaps Harry truly doesn't know him at all. “Yeah, I mean,” Harry gets out eventually. “I used to read these when I was younger. But since college, I don't know, I started reading different things. A lot of non-fiction for my degree too.”
“What do you do for fun then?” Zayn turns around to Harry.
Harry stops walking before he slams into Zayn. He's a bit lost for words. “I watch movies?” Harry tries. “I go out quite a bit. I like an art show. Or a good concert.”
“That's fair,” Zayn nods. “I do like an art show too. But these days it's hard to find something actually worthwhile, you know? I don't care much for a bunch of people doing what they call performance art and like, yelling in a rhythm and calling it slam poetry, or whatever.” He turns back around and walks slowly towards the register, but then starts talking to Harry again. “I like London in terms of art. All their state galleries and museums are free entry and they've got incredible collections. Have you ever been?”
“No,” Harry holds back the scoffs. Sure, he's just going to London every other weekend to look at fucking paintings.
“Well, if you ever find yourself there, check out the National Gallery,” Zayn says over his shoulder, a playful smirk on his lips. “If you were actually my boyfriend I would say I'd take you there but well, all you get is my recommendation. I love Van Gogh's crabs.”
Harry lets out a laugh. His heart speeds up for some reason. “Okay, thanks.” He waits for Zayn by the entrance, the girl at the till giving him a weird look before they leave. Rosie is way nicer. She used to give him candy every time he came around.
“Do you need anything else or should we head back?” Harry asks Zayn when they're on the sidewalk again.
“No, I'm fine, I think,” Zayn replies. “If I forgot anything I'm not gonna remember it now, so we can go back. It's freezing.”
“Yeah, I'm not too keen on being outside longer than I have to,” Harry agrees.
They chat a bit while walking, about finals and whatnot. Harry had decided to push at least some of his passive-aggressiveness into a corner and leave it there. It's been years since that damned night and obviously, Zayn doesn't care or doesn't remember or pretends like nothing happened, like he has for the past two years, for the sake of being normal around each other. Holding onto a grudge like this is not very productive, especially since it's tragically one-sided. He can try being nicer to Zayn, especially since Zayn has been nothing but really fucking nice to both Harry and his family. It's only fair, he reckons.
When they get back, it's almost dark and there's another car in the driveway.
“Oh shit,” Harry says when he sees the red Ford. “My aunt's here with her family.”
“Okay?” Zayn shakes his head a little. “Is she horrible?”
“No,” Harry sighs. “She's nice. My cousins are menaces, though. Do you remember their names?”
Zayn takes a moment to think. “I know the aunt Betty. Her husband is Paul, right?”
“Yeah,” Harry nods.
“So then your cousins are Jane and Matt,” Zayn finishes. “Did I get that right?”
“Yes,” Harry sighs in relief. “I fucking love you in this moment. No, that's not true. But Logan always forgot their names and both times he came here, he was calling Matt Mark . But Matt went with it and just laughed about it. If he introduces himself as Mark, don't take him seriously, he's only teasing.”
Zayn lets out a huff. “Harry, you really need to start dating better people. Was Logan a succubus or something? Did he have a magic dick?”
Harry's face starts burning but a smile is threatening to break out on his face despite the shame. “No! We all make stupid decisions, okay? What we're doing right now is one of them too but at least we can blame Niall on it. It was his idea.”
“This is funny, at least,” Zayn nudges Harry. “But dating an asshole isn't.”
“Okay, I get it,” Harry laughs as they walk up the steps to the front door. “I have poor taste in men. Your being here attests to that.”
“Excuse you, I'm a wonderful boyfriend,” Zayn huffs with false offence. “Also, I haven't even seen this Logan. If he's hideous, Harry, then you have no excuse.”
“Alright, Mr Versace model,” Harry chuckles. “Be that wonderful boyfriend and charm the hell out of my family. And don't flirt with Jane, I'm warning you.”
“Don't worry, I'll only flirt with your mom,” Zayn winks at Harry, who just glares at him before opening the door.
“We're back!” Harry yells as they come in, immediately taking off their snow-soaked coats and boots. They take the groceries to the kitchen, which is empty and then make their way to the living room, where a lot of noise is coming from. And indeed, everyone's in the living room, including Evie.
They stop in the doorway, trying to catch the attention of someone since all of them seem to be engrossed in a conversation or two.
“Oh, Harry,” his aunt Betty eventually notices him and Zayn. “You're here! Your mom said you and your boyfriend went out.”
“Just to get some things,” Harry dismisses it. “We're here now. What's up?” Harry moves to walk into the living before he freezes at Jane's “Ah, ah, ah”
“What?” Harry squawks. “Are you having a stroke?”
Jane shakes her head. “Look up. Mistletoe, dumbass. You gotta give your man a smooch, that's the rule.”
Harry rolls his eyes before he turns to Zayn. “I'm sorry,” Harry whispers, thinking about that kiss from the morning. Zayn never mentioned it but they're not really dating. Kissing out of nowhere is way more than whatever they agreed to.
Zayn just gives him a minuscule shake of his head and grabs his cheek. Harry's lungs suddenly stop working as Zayn inches closer and closer until their lips touch again. In the kitchen a few hours ago, Harry barely registered the kiss. He was thinking more about putting on a good show for his mom, and for every but right now, even with more people watching them, Harry feels like it's only them in the room. His lips open on their own accord and to his surprise, Zayn mirrors him and slips his tongue in Harry's mouth. It's probably a bit too much for a family occasion but Harry can't pull away, feeling like he has no control of his own jaw and tongue, which keep them locked in the kiss. Harry then realizes he snaked his hands around Zayn's neck and he knows he's in trouble.
But Zayn's lips are warm and he's a really great fucking kisser and the weight of his hand on Harry's cheek feels like an anchor keeping Harry from floating away and there's just no way he can pull away. Harry pulls their bodies closer and then it's over. His dick starts to get interested and that's too much. This isn't what this whole thing is about. For all Harry knows, Zayn can have a girlfriend waiting for him in Manhattan, just like he had Gigi in the living room when they were together in the dim bathroom.
So Harry pulls away like he's been burnt and clears his throat. He can't look at Zayn, scared of what he's gonna find but he has a faint idea about red, kissed lips and eyes he could get lost in. And that's not what he needs, or wants.
His entire family is giving them a weird look and Harry feels his face turning bright red. The awkward silence is broken when Jane starts clapping and Matt wolf-whistles.
“Oh, shut up,” Harry mumbles as he walks to an empty loveseat and throws himself down on it. Despite that, a smile breaks out into his face. If this is a game and if there's a score, this definitely deserves double points.