Chapter Text
Where is he?
Wooseok paced back and forth across his apartment until his sock prints left a faint trail across the floor rug. His date was late, and as the clock ticked, things were starting to look grim. After the first twenty minutes, Wooseok was pissed off, but he was sure he would make it up to him. After the second twenty minutes, he didn’t care how he would make it up to him because his mood was already spoiled. After the third twenty minutes, it had become an hour and Wooseok’s heart was in his stomach. How could someone be an hour late?
How could someone be two hours late?
How could someone be three?
Wooseok refused to give up. He refused to believe that he had been stood up for a first date, alone in his own home. Something must have happened. The guy probably died on his way there because that was the only reason anyone in the world would have stood him up. Right?
He pulled out his phone, too distraught to care about looking desperate, but this was reasonable. It was perfectly natural to want to know why the hell his date was three hours late on a Friday night when Wooseok was in his best pair of pants that made his butt look good. He had a right to know, and if the man had fallen ill certainly to his own demise, Wooseok needed to know who he should send flowers to.
Where are you?
It was concise and to the point. It wasn’t needy, and it didn’t give off the fiery ball of rage energy he was harbouring in the place where his heart should have been. How his date responded would determine if he was going to personally have to drive the final nail in his coffin.
Hey babe ah sorry about this, but I can’t make it tonight. Reschedule? Thanks I knew you’d understand ;)
“That asshole!” Wooseok shouted, tossing his phone onto the couch helplessly. “That greasy, no good, perfume guzzling, fake ass motherfucker stood me up! Me!”
Before he could rip a decorative pillow in half with his bare hands, the front door opened, and his roommate and closest friend was finally home from work. He had to keep calm. He couldn’t let another human being know something had happened. He had to be strong.
“Hey, how’d your date go?” Seungyoun asked, assuming it was already over because of course he did. It had been three hours since Wooseok was supposed to have left. If anything, a three hour date on a Friday night just meant that things went okay but without promise. The second Wooseok looked up and saw his face, his own bottom lip started to quiver and the tears of humiliation and frustration and the general need to feel sorry for himself came, and he started blubbering in the middle of the living room. “Hey! No! What’s wrong, oh my god? Did he do something stupid? I’ll kill him. Where’s he live? I’ll call Hangyul and Yohan. Please don’t cry.”
He rushed over and grabbed Wooseok who was a tearful, runny nosed mess in only a matter of seconds. He shook his head and turned away, but Seungyoun was just a little bit stronger than he was when he cried. “I’m fine.”
“Yes, you look fine,” he said. “All covered in snot like that. You look like a million bucks.”
“Shut up,” Wooseok wailed. He felt his knees buckle beneath him, and he fell forward against Seungyoun’s chest who caught him without flinching.
“Where’s he live?” he said quietly.
“You can’t kill him,” Wooseok mumbled.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m going to,” he said.
Seungyoun snorted, and Wooseok finally calmed down enough to let go and catch his breath. If getting stood up wasn’t embarrassing enough, crying about it sure took the cake. He brushed himself off and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He wasn’t going to cry about it anymore. He got it out of his system, and it was time to go to bed and cry some more. “You gonna tell me what happened, or are you going to make me guess?”
“No,” Wooseok said.
“Let’s see… he kissed you and his breath tasted like vinegar and dog poop,” he guessed.
“No!” Wooseok said, disgusted.
“He held your hand, but his skin was so scaly that it got stuck under your nails?”
“No!”
“He called you another guy’s name?”
“No…”
“He brought his husband?”
“No!” Wooseok laughed.
“He stood you up?”
Wooseok froze. He looked up at him and couldn’t make himself say no. He knew he should have lied and said he had dog breath, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Wait, are you serious?!” Seungyoun said, his eyes wide. Wooseok looked away. “He stood you up?! You’re wearing your lucky pants that make your butt look good!”
Wooseok chuckled weakly.
“Yeah, no, this isn’t going to work,” he said, walking off to the hallway.
“Where are you going?” Wooseok called out.
“I’m getting dressed,” he shouted back.
“Why?”
“Because we’re going on a date!”
“Have you lost your mind?!” Wooseok said, suddenly stressed out again.
“Always,” he shouted. “Just stay right there!”
Wooseok shifted awkwardly in the living room. This was completely unnecessary, but he also knew that when Seungyoun put his mind to something, there was absolutely no arguing with him. And Wooseok was in his good pants. His good pants deserved an outing.
Seungyoun came back out looking nicer than when he left but not so put together that he looked like was going to a job interview.
“Alright, let’s go,” he said.
“We don’t have to do this,” Wooseok said.
“I know, but it’s a Friday night, and I want to go out, and you’re already home and dressed so it would save me having to go through my contacts to see who’s busy,” he said brightly like it was for his benefit, but Wooseok knew he was doing it for him. He was doing it to make Wooseok feel better because that was the kind of person he was. He took care of his friends and didn’t let them suffer when they didn’t have to. Wooseok didn’t have to suffer because he lost one date for a better date. Who cared that he couldn’t get a boyfriend out of it? He probably wasn’t going to end up with the other guy either, and at least this one didn’t make him nervous. This one was a pain in the ass, but he wasn’t a jerk.
“If you want to go out, I don’t mind going with you,” Wooseok said. Thank you for dragging me out .
He grabbed his keys on the table and smiled at him. “Let’s go then.
Wooseok grabbed his coat and followed him out, not sure where it was that they were going or what they were going to do, but Seungyoun moved like someone with a plan.
“You haven’t eaten right?” He asked.
“No, I found out… the news… right before you walked in,” he said. Saying it out loud made him sick. The news. He rolled his eyes. So what if that puffed up little weasel with a bad nose job thinks he can stand me up. No one stands Kim Wooseok up, they just make bad decisions that result in them having to spend time without someone so fun and interesting. He did his best to convince himself that he wasn’t hurt, but deep down his stomach was in knots, and if it had been anyone but Seungyoun leading him out of the door, he would have thrown up on the welcome mat.
Seungyoun hummed. “I know chicken feet is your favorite, but there’s somewhere I want to take you first before it closes. Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” he said surprised. What kind of place would Seungyoun have wanted to take him? Or rather, what kind of place did Seungyoun want to go himself, but he had to bring Wooseok because of the circumstances. Either way, it probably wouldn’t be awful. The worst it could be was noisy, but Seungyoun liked cafes. He liked drinking coffee and listening to soft music and thinking too much sometimes. Wooseok could be the kind of person who sat quietly at a cafe. He could get a taste for coffee.
“Good, we should hurry then,” he said cheerfully. “I mean, there’s no rush, but–.”
“There’s a rush,” Wooseok laughed, understanding. He knew more than anyone how late it was.
“Kind of,” he said, sorry. “We’re late for a very important date.”
Why does that sound familiar?
He followed him out to his car and strapped himself in. It was the first time he had sat down in hours because of his nerves, and he hadn’t realized how sore his legs were. He hoped whatever Seungyoun had in mind didn’t involve a lot of walking unless he intended to carry him around on his back.
They pulled away with the mysterious address punched in to the GPS, and it was all rather secretive. He wasn’t sure why Seungyoun wouldn’t tell him about his plans, but he was bursting with excitement in the seat next to him so whatever it was, it had to be good. Even drinking bottled water with you will better than drinking bad wine with someone else. He smiled bitterly to himself, feeling sad all of a sudden for no reason at all. He supposed he wasn’t done feeling sorry for himself.
He flipped open the mirror and looked at his reflection, letting the passing street lights illuminate his red swollen cheeks.
“My face is puffy,” he grumbled, wishing he hadn’t cried before. He knew he was going to get made fun of for that for the rest of his life, but the longer he was swollen, the worse the jokes would be.
“That’s okay, it just means that you’ll be easier to spot in a crowd if I lose you,” Seungyoun teased.
Wooseok glared at him, snapping the mirror shut, aggravated. “That’s the second worst thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“What was the first,” he asked, a playful smile on his lips that Wooseok wanted to wipe off for him.
“‘We should be friends’.”
Seungyoun gasped. “Mean!”
“You said my face was puffy!”
“ You said your face is puffy! I was being optimistic!”
“You could have lied and said it wasn’t!”
“When have I ever lied to you!”
Wooseok opened his mouth to retort, but he couldn’t think of anything. Damn you for being a good friend, but you’re still annoying . “You could have this time.”
“Your face looks fine,” he said. “It’ll go down by the time we get there, but if you wanna cry some more, I’m sure I’ve got some extra napkins from McDonalds around here somewhere.”
“I’m not going to cry anymore,” Wooseok said, folding his arms across his chest.
“If you keep pouting, your face might get stuck like that,” Seungyoun said.
“So what if it does,” he pouted some more.
“Someone might start babying you all the time, and I won’t be able to handle it.”
“Why,” Wooseok laughed, breaking out of his grumpy spell. Seungyoun only answered with a gagging noise that was quite in character. “Jerk.”
He settled into his seat, idly poking his own cheeks in hope that they would go back down before he was under a bright light. Not that he was embarrassed that Seungyoun might see him and think he was hideous because they had both seen each other in every possible life scarring circumstance, but other people might see and wonder why the pretty man with the nice pants looked all puffy. How would he be perceived with such an ugly swollen face?
“Put on some music,” Seungyoun instructed, his mood suddenly different.
“It’s your car,” Wooseok said. “You pick.”
“I don’t care, just put something on.”
“Alright,” he said quietly. He plugged his phone into the aux cord, and flipped through, unable to make a decision.
“Put on that song you sing too much,” he said.
“Which song?”
“The one you sing in the shower all the time,” Seungyoun said.
Wooseok blushed, not knowing he had been heard singing in the shower and enough times that he was able to recognize that it was the same song. A part of him did not want to play it out of shame, but if that’s what Seungyoun wanted to listen to…
Walking in Winter always brightened his mood, and if Seungyoun didn’t want him to sing along to it, he shouldn’t have asked for it because it was his favorite to sing. But Seungyoun didn’t seem to mind. In fact, when Wooseok looked at him out of the corner of his eye to make sure he wasn’t horrified, he had a soft smile on his face like he was thinking about something else far away, so he probably wasn’t even paying attention. But it did make Wooseok feel a little better, and he was sure the swelling in his face had gone down by the time they parked.
“Okay, so, I know this isn’t fancy fancy, but it’s going to be like a thousand times better than anything that other guy was going to drag you to,” he said, sounding nervous. “I promise you won’t be bored or anything.”
Wooseok smiled, endeared. Ah, he’s treating this like a real date. He doesn’t have to do that, but he’s doing it for me. “I’m sure it’s going to be great!”
He bounced, proud of himself for bringing Wooseok to this mysterious place, and Wooseok thought that maybe it was better than staying at home. It was already more fun than he had expected his night to be when the day started, and they hadn’t done anything yet, but when they arrived, Wooseok’s jaw dropped to the floor.
“WHAT?”
“YEP!”
“NO WAY!”
“MHM!”
“OH MY GOD.”
Wooseok pushed through like a kid in a candy store. He had guessed correctly that they were going to a cafe, but he didn’t expect it was going to be this cafe. He had gone to a few themed places before, but most of his friends weren’t really into them, and going alone felt silly because of how costumed and expensive they were, but he finally understood why Seungyoun was so excited.
“Are you serious?” Wooseok looked back at him, the twinkling purple lights reflecting on them like tiny jellyfish.
“This is okay, right? It’s not too cheesy?” He asked, hesitant.
“Hell yeah, it’s cheesy! What are we still doing standing outside?!” Wooseok grabbed his hand and dragged him in, completely forgetting himself. Seungyoun stumbled in to the Alice in Wonderland themed cafe that was like stepping into, well, wonderland. “How did you…”
“Ah, take a look at the Mad Hatter over there,” Seungyoun gestured, crouching down to meet his height. Wooseok followed the point of his finger to the other side of the restaurant where a very familiar face took an order in a very silly costume.
Wooseok held back a laugh. “Oh my god, I forgot Seungwoo worked at one of these places.”
“Yeah, he’s probably going to kill me if we make fun of him,” he whispered.
“Then how much teasing is allowed,” Wooseok whispered back.
“As much as we can manage.”
“Nice.”
They walked over to the counter to order and get a table before sitting down to wait. Wooseok couldn’t take his eyes off of the decor, and he didn’t even care if the food was bad. It was all so exciting.
Seungwoo noticed they were sitting and decided to walk over to greet them, looking mildly apprehensive. “Hey! What are you two doing here?”
“We’re on a date,” Seungyoun said proudly.
Seungwoo’s eyes widened, smudging his mascara on his cheek bones.
“Not a real date,” Wooseok waved his hands. “It’s not like that.”
He didn’t want Seungwoo to misunderstand and cause any trouble for Seungyoun when he was just trying to make him feel better after he had been blown off by some guy that he didn’t really like that much in the first place. That’s all Seungyoun needed was for all their friends to think he liked Wooseok when he was just being nice so of course Wooseok had to save him.
“Oh,” Seungwoo said, looking at Seungyoun confused.
“Yeah, it’s not a real date” he said.
“Okay then,” he said, still looking at Seungyoun.
Seungyoun gave him a faint smile.
“Welp,” he said, taking a breath. “If you guys need anything, the Queen of Hearts is in charge of this table so have fun!”
“We will,” Wooseok said, cheerful. Seungwoo hurried off before anyone could say anything to him about not working, and Wooseok frowned. “We didn’t get to tease him.”
“Maybe later,” he said, distant. “I wonder what the food is like.”
“I’m not sure. What did we get, the tea party tray?”
“I think so,” he said. “I wonder if it’s just a bunch of different kinds of teas.”
“But we ordered drinks too,” Wooseok said, worried.
“We’re going on a liquid diet tonight,” he said. “First person to need to find a bathroom loses.”
“You’re on,” he laughed.
Luckily for them, the tea party tray was not a tray of tea, but a three tiered metal contraption stacked with whimsical teacakes, finger sandwiches, macarons, chocolates, and other tiny morsels of food one would expect to find at an Alice in Wonderland themed cafe.
“Oh wow,” Wooseok said, admiring all the colors they managed to squeeze into the treats.
“We’re gonna get diabetes,” Seungyoun whispered.
“The first one to need a glucose monitor loses?”
Seungyoun snorted. “You’re on.”
Their drinks arrived next. Wooseok had ordered a Cheshire Cat Latte which came in a large mug with a magenta colored liquid inside with Cheshire Cat foam latte art and whipped cream on top. He brought the piping hot mug to his lips and blew gently before tasting it. It wasn’t really coffee, but it wasn’t quite fruity either. It was milky, but it tasted more like coconut milk than dairy. He lifted his head up and frowned, not able to pinpoint the taste. Seungyoun instinctively reached across the table and swiped the whipped cream from his nose and ate it.
“How’s is taste?” he asked, getting a sample for himself that he couldn’t quite place either.
“I’m not sure,” Wooseok tilted his head. “It’s good, I think. It’s sweet, but I have no idea what the hell this is.”
Seungyoun hummed, equally puzzled.
“What about yours?” Wooseok asked.
He looked down at his suspiciously teal drink in a tall cylindrical tube that couldn’t have possibly contained anything made out of something safe for human consumption. It was the Caterpillar’s Elixir, and it was frightening. “I don’t know if I want to...”
“What food is teal?”
“Blueberries?”
“Aren’t those more purple?”
“Then wouldn’t they be called purpleberries?”
“I don’t know just drink it,” Wooseok whispered.
“You drink it!” He whispered back.
“It’s your drink!”
“Fine,” Seungyoun pouted. He put the glass to his mouth and gulped it bravely, not having to worry about burning his tongue. He made a sour expression and shook his head. “Nope, don’t like that.”
“What’s it taste like?”
“Pineapple,” he said, smacking his tongue.
“What’s wrong with pineapple?”
“And dish soap.”
“Oh,” Wooseok said. “Let me try it.”
He slid the glass across the table and stuffed a cookie in his mouth to mask the taste. Wooseok took a careful sip and held it in his mouth like he was tasting wine. If wine suspiciously tasted like pineapple and dish soap. It most definitely had pineapple juice, and he was probably right about the blueberries, but the wild card factor was what made it slightly green and soapy. “Green juice?”
“What, like healthy grass and spinach?” He asked.
“I think that’s why it tastes like soap,” Wooseok considered. “It’s the grass.”
“Ahhh,” he said. “That makes sense.”
By then, the Queen of Hearts had noticed the commotion and wandered over to check on them. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Seungyoun said.
“Actually,” Wooseok said, still clutching the Caterpillar’s Elixir like it was poisoned. “I was wondering if I could order another drink.”
“Is anything wrong with that one?” she asked.
“No!” Wooseok insisted. “I just don’t know when we can come back again, and I wanted to try something else. Three is my lucky number. Is there anything you think is good?”
She hummed and thought for a moment. “We have the White Rabbit which is like a hot white chocolate coffee drink, and then there’s the Lucky Ace which is black tea, licorice, and raspberry juice.”
“What about both,” Wooseok said, pulling out his card.
“I thought you said three was your lucky number,” Seungyoun said.
“You wanna drink the grass juice?” Wooseok mumbled.
“No,” he said quietly, earning a look from the Queen of Hearts.
“Oh, what’s in the Caterpillar Elixir,” he asked while he had the chance.
“Pineapple juice and blueberries blended with a healthy green juice mixture of wheatgrass, lemon grass, basil, and spinach.”
“Cool, thanks,” Wooseok said, confirming his suspicions.
“What about the Cheshire Cat Latte?” Seungyoun asked.
“That’s hibiscus tea with steamed coconut milk and a shot of espresso,” she explained.
“Ohhh,” they both said together. All of the drinks on the menu were a little much, but that was what they signed up for so they didn’t complain. Sensing that they were in over their heads, she brought the new drinks back with a couple of bottles of water in case they couldn't choke them down.
“Can I try the cat drink,” he asked before tackling the others.
“Sure,” Wooseok said.
He took a careful sip and smacked his lips. “Yeah, that’s not good.”
Wooseok snorted. “You don’t think so?”
“Why would you steam coconut milk,” he whispered, not wanting to offend anyone. “That’s so unnecessary.”
“Right,” Wooseok whispered. “Aren’t you supposed to drink hibiscus tea cold?”
“Yeah, why isn’t this iced,” he shook his head.
“Try the white rabbit,” Wooseok said. “It’s hot too.”
“It’s the white chocolate drink right?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Seungyoun hummed. “Bottoms up?”
Wooseok looked down at the Lucky Ace and shrugged. “Bottoms up.”
After gauging the other’s reactions, it seemed the White Rabbit was the only drink at the table that was suitable for his taste. Wooseok didn’t mind the green juice drink after a few sips so he took that one for himself while the giant baby drank the chocolate drink so he could dip his cookies in it.
“Are you having fun,” Wooseok laughed, watching him dunk a macaron in, probably breaking a million pastry etiquette laws.
“Look at how it sticks! It’s like chocolate sauce!”
“I think it is,” he frowned. “You’re going to get a sugar high.”
“When I crash, you can carry me right?”
“Of course,” Wooseok said confidently. “It’s what I go to the gym for.”
“I wonder how many of these little sandwiches I can stuff in my mouth at once,” he said, jittery from all the sugar.
“Oh no, don’t do that,” Wooseok said, but it was too late. Seungyoun was already hard at work shoving finger sandwiches into his mouth until his cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk’s.
“Eight,” he said with a full mouth.
Wooseok burst out into a fit of laughter. “No! You’re going to get choked.”
“Oh ah an!” No, I’m not!
“What??” Wooseok said, unable to contain his amusement.
“Oh ah ah en uh,” Oh god I can’t chew.
“Don’t choke, oh my god,” Wooseok said, concerned.
Seungyoun looked up in agony with watering eyes as the realization set in that he was, in fact, an idiot. It took a few minutes of labored chewing and some visible sweating, but he finally got the sandwiches down. Unfortunately, in his hurry to wash them all down, he grabbed the licorice drink and not the bottled water which killed his blissful sugar high. “I am upset.”
“Did you do it? Did you win the award for the most sandwiches?”
“Shut up!” He cried out.
“Will you get the prize?”
“Do you wanna die,” he laughed.
“You can’t kill me, you’re gonna crash soon,” Wooseok said.
“Ah, you’re right. I ate too many sweets and sandwiches, and now you’re going to get away.”
“It’s only fair.”
“Drats.”
They finished off the three tiers of the tea party tray and pretended to drink their ridiculously expensive themed beverages that were at least good for the experience, but Seungyoun kept checking the time on his phone.
“Do you need to go?” Wooseok asked.
“No! We do, though,” he said. “The second part of our better date is coming up, and I don’t want to miss it.”
“Should we go then?”
“Yeah, I think it’ll be better to go a little early,” he said. “Then we can get the good seats.”
“Good seats?” Wooseok asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Nice try, but it’s still a surprise. I don’t want you to get the chance to tell me it’s stupid because I really wanted to do this with you,” he said.
Wooseok was taken aback. So this was a thing he had sort of planned? But how could he have done that in the five minutes it took him to change out of his work clothes, but he supposed he could ask him about it later when they could laugh about their fake date. “I won’t say it’s stupid.”
“Let me feel sneaky,” he said, standing up. “I’ll be right back.”
He watched him walk off to the counter and talk to the Queen of Hearts who stamped two playing cards for him and slid them to him. He stuffed them in his wallet to hide them, but Wooseok had seen the whole thing. Now he just had a lot of questions.
When they got in the car, Wooseok couldn’t wait anymore. “What are the cards for?”
Seungyoun sighed and frowned. “It’s part of the secret.”
“Let me feel clever,” Wooseok said.
He turned to him and gave him an annoyed thin mouthed glare. “Fine. The second part of our super fun, better than whatever that other guy had planned date will bring the full Alice in Wonderland experience full circle. The next part if free, but because we ate at the cafe, we can use these cards to rent a blanket and and get some snacks and a couple souvenirs for free.”
“What’s free? Why do we need a blanket?”
Seungyoun sighed. “Because we’re going to go watch the movie at the park on the big outdoor screen, and I don’t think you’ll want to spend the night sitting on the grass.”
“For real?”
“Is that stupid?”
“No! That sounds like fun!” He said, clapping like an excited seal. “I’ve never done that before.”
“Good,” he cheered up. “It was that or a nightclub.”
Wooseok gagged.
“That’s what I thought.”
“I’m glad you know me at least this well,” Wooseok laughed.
“Name someone who knows you better,” he joked, but the problem was that Wooseok couldn’t, and that unsettled him.
Even though they were early, the park was already crowded with everyone from families, to couples their age, to older people who wanted to see the movie too. They talked about one of them holding their spot at the front while the other rented the blanket, but they decided to go together so that they could look at the souvenirs and snacks. Neither of them were hungry after their dinner, so it seemed to be the souvenirs that they were after.
“Hey, try these on,” Seungyoun said, picking up a pair of cheshire cat ears for Wooseok. He placed them on and tilted his head, already absorbed in his new mischievous cat act.
“How’s it look?”
Seungyoun took a picture of him in his cat ears to show it to him. “I think they look good.”
“Ooh! Send that to me!” Wooseok said. “I think I’ll make that my new profile photo.”
“Are you trying to make someone jealous,” he squinted.
“Who? Oh, no,” Wooseok laughed. “I wasn’t even thinking about that. I just like it.”
“Oh,” he relaxed. “I think we need to take a selfie too.”
“Not until you pick something out too,” he insisted.
Seungyoun hummed. “I can’t do the Mad Hatter hat because that would be too much like Seungwoo’s work uniform.”
“True,” he said. “What about these rabbit ears? That would be perfect since you didn’t want to be late for a very important date.”
Seungyoun smiled brightly until the dimples appeared around his eyes. “Is this boring?”
“I think it’s cute,” Wooseok said. “We can trade…”
“No, you should be the cat. It suits you.”
With their new ears on, they took plenty of selfies and photos of each other, completely forgetting that this had only been a ruse to make Wooseok feel better until Wooseok saw someone he wished he hadn’t.
“What’s wrong?” Seungyoun asked, noticing the way his face dropped.
Wooseok’s heart sank. He honestly didn’t like the guy, and that wasn’t the point. It was the fact that he stood him up, lied to him, and was out with someone else on the very same night looking like someone who had never known guilt or shame. “Guess who.”
“Who?” He turned around, following Wooseok’s hurt gaze. “Is that him?”
“Yeah, don’t stare, he might see us,” Wooseok said. “Let’s go.”
“Listen, Seok, if I had known,” he started.
“And now he’s staring. Smug bastard,” Wooseok said, looking up at Seungyoun, but watching his original date out of the corner of his eye. He was worse than a sewer rat and didn’t deserve the satisfaction of seeing Wooseok pissed off.
“He’s watching you?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“Okey dokey,” he said before taking a big breath in his rabbit ears. He leaned down at caught Wooseok’s lips like they were his to take, and Wooseok froze in shock, but then his body melted down to his core and he worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep standing. The world around him went silent, and he could only focus on the kiss that shouldn’t have happened by any account, and yet it had, and Wooseok did the unthinkable. He kissed him back.
He pushed himself up towards him, and Seungyoun’s hands went around his waist to keep him from falling over while his own went to Seungyoun’s cheeks. He felt him breathe into him with a long sigh as he gripped his lower back like he had been underwater for too long, but Wooseok knew the feeling. His own lungs burned as he stole little gasps of air, unable to take a full breath.
He tilted his head just enough and slid his arms around his neck, completely lost in him. He wasn’t thinking of anything or anyone else, if it was possible to think, and the person he kissed only pulled him closer as if there was any space left between them.
“Wooseok?” His old date said to dispel them, and it probably would have worked if it were any two other friends who shouldn’t have been kissing.
“Go away, I’m busy,” Wooseok said, swatting outwards, feeling the person he was kissing pull away courteously. Seungyoun snorted, but his cheeks were a fiery red, and Wooseok was sure they matched his own. Not thinking, he almost reached after him to pull him back, not ready to stop.
“You’ve got some balls,” he said, looking at them. “Anyways, I just came over to say hi. We’re still rescheduling right?”
“No, you’re not,” Seungyoun said. “It was nice meeting you. Wooseok, let’s go get a blanket.”
“Good idea,” Wooseok said. “Wouldn’t want to get a bad seat.”
He grabbed Seungyoun’s hand and walked away, his whole body trembling, and unless he was mistaken, Seungyoun was shaking too.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice not yet stable.
“No problem,” he squeaked. “Sorry for cancelling your future plans.”
“I didn’t like him anyways,” Wooseok said quietly, still trying to calm down. “I was just mad about getting blown off.”
“No one in their right mind would blow you off,” he said, the color still visible on his cheeks. Wooseok smiled appreciatively, but he couldn’t settle his nerves. Was it seeing the asshole? Was it confronting the asshole? Was it the fact that kissing his best friend again was the only thing he could think about? He had a sneaking suspicion that the answer was going to make them both suffer. He had to accept that Seungyoun was just being a good friend who wasn’t going to let Wooseok get walked all over. It was not the time to catch feelings even if he was about to lose his shit over how good his mouth tasted. He was so busy thinking about how much he couldn’t like Seungyoun that he didn’t notice that even after renting the blanket, walking through the crowd, and finding a place in the grass to sit down for the movie, they were still holding hands like the real couples around them until they had to pull apart to sit down.
Wooseok gripped the blanket with his trembling freed hand, unable to calm his nerves no matter how he tried. He had never been nervous around Seungyoun, but he could barely breathe. And the ever present comedian was silent which wasn’t helping at all. He stared forward at the inactive screen like he was going to miss something, and that only made Wooseok more nervous.
It wasn’t fair. If Seungyoun was going to be weird about them kissing, he shouldn’t have done it in the first place, but before Wooseok could say something, the movie started and that gave them two hours to sit together in silence, and he was painfully aware of how close they were. Between the smells of skewered chicken and popcorn was Seungyoun. Even if he glared at the screen with all of his might, but all he could see was Seungyoun out of the corner of his eye. But his empty hand was driving him crazy. He definitely couldn’t kiss him again, especially in front of all those people, but he could totally hold his hand right? They were friends, and friends could hold hands. Friends could hold hands in the park while they watched a movie on their first date. It’s not a real date.
He balled his hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm so he couldn’t get carried away. He had to get a grip before he did something stupid and careless like fall in love or something.
He was probably going to develop a crush on him for a few weeks which would make things awkward at the apartment for a bit, but he could manage it. He could handle anything as long as didn’t fall in love with someone who couldn’t love him back. Anything but that. He couldn’t imagine how painful that would be for a person to endure.
After a while, he was able to relax and enjoy the movie without thinking too much. That was the beauty of Alice in Wonderland, it took away the need to think and to rationalize. He let himself get carried off by it, and when the movie ended, he was snapped back to reality so fast it was disorienting.
They packed up their things and returned the blanket they had rented and left to find the car, still wearing their cat and bunny ears. Seungyoun’s fell off when he sat in the car, and Wooseok laughed. “I guess we’re not in Wonderland anymore.”
“I guess not,” Seungyoun said. “Did you have fun?”
“Yes!” Wooseok said. “Best date I’ve ever had.”
“I’m sorry it wasn’t real,” he said.
“It was real enough,” Wooseok said, and that was the last they mentioned of it.
The ride home was silent. They didn’t talk or listen to music. They just spent the rest of their time solemnly alone in their own thoughts. Wooseok bit down on his bottom lip. It still tingled from the kiss that literally swept him off his feet, and he wondered if he would ever feel like that again with someone. Would he spend his whole life chasing a feeling that he had only heard about dramatized? He didn’t want to know.
But Seungyoun was quiet too. Did he regret doing it? Had Wooseok kissing him back been so great of a mistake that it left him unable to even joke about it? Was he angry with him? Was he mad that he had to kiss him in front of all those people because Wooseok couldn’t deal with his own problems? He might never know.
They made it home without either of them saying a word, and the first one to speak was Wooseok who said he wanted to shower first since it had been so long since he got dressed hours before. Seungyoun didn’t object and immediately went to the fridge to get a beer probably to wash down the taste of wheatgrass and coconut milk that still lingered on their tongues.
He had finished his by the time Wooseok got out and grabbed his own. He hadn’t realized how much just a few sips of beer could make him relax, and once he was finally starting to calm down and Seungyoun had gone off to take a shower and change, he got an idea.
He plopped onto the couch in his pajamas, ready to finish off his night in the only appropriate way he could think of.
“You’re watching it again?” Seungyoun asked when he walked out.
“I’m watching the old school cartoon version,” Wooseok said. He patted the cushion next to him and wiggled his eyebrows earning an amused smirk. He wasn’t going to let things get awkward no matter what. “Could you get us a couple of beers? I’m almost out.”
“Of course,” he said. “Do you want to order your chicken feet now or are you still full?”
“We can do that another time,” he said, rubbing his stomach. “I’m still stuffed from all the cakes.”
That was mostly a lie. He wasn’t hungry, but it was because of his unsettled nerves that he didn’t want his favorite food. He was sure he could overcome it soon, but at that moment, he couldn’t even think about eating. He scooted over to make room for Seungyoun who returned with two cans of beer with wet strands of hair falling into his face. He looked exhausted.
“You don’t have to stay up with me if you’re tired,” Wooseok said.
“I’m not tired,” he smiled weakly.
“Liar,” he said.
“When have I ever lied to you?”
“Right now,” Wooseok said. “You’re going to fall asleep, and I’m going to draw a mustache on you.”
“You wouldn’t,” he said brightly like the Seungyoun Wooseok knew.
“You never know what I’m capable of,” he said, smug.
“That’s true,” Seungyoun said, staring at him sadly.
Wooseok tore away, not wanting to feel the ache in his chest that came when he looked at him like that. Things were going to be fine once he got over his crush, but he didn’t need Seungyoun to make it worse by looking at him.
He pressed play, and a third of the way through the movie, he was finished with his second beer, and was just warm enough to chase off the rest of his nerves. He rested his head on Seungyoun’s shoulder and giggled at the movie, and Seungyoun let him, ever the nicest friend who was always there for him. He never felt his eyes close. He never noticed the screen go black, and he never felt himself fall over. The next day he had to fill in the blanks for himself.
He woke up on his back on the couch with Seungyoun fast asleep on his chest, leaving a little patch of drool on his t-shirt right where his heart was. Gross. They had fallen asleep together almost every time they watched a movie at night, and if one didn’t know better, one might have thought it was planned that way. As far as Wooseok knew, it wasn’t, but he was so used to waking up with one of them on top of the other that he didn’t think it was particularly strange.
Seungyoun snored lightly against his chest, and Wooseok closed his eyes to listen to him. He didn’t have a care in the world, dreaming like that. The sugar high crash had finally claimed him, and if Wooseok slipped out from under him, he probably wouldn’t have even noticed. You big baby.
Curious to see what time it was, he felt around the floor next to the couch careful not to move too much and disturb him when he felt cold glass against his fingertips. He reached carefully and grabbed the cellphone and picked it up off the floor. From the cracked screen he saw that it was Seungyoun’s, but all he was doing was checking the time so it didn’t matter if he used his phone. He clicked the home button, but what he saw made his heart pound in his chest so vigorously that he worried he would wake Seungyoun up with it. It wasn’t the time (7:43). It wasn’t the fact that their faces stared back at him as his lock screen. It was the single notification that waited for Seungyoun from Seungwoo.
How’d it go? Did you tell KWS you like him?
Wooseok stared at the screen in shock until it faded to black, and he almost dropped the phone on the floor. He set it down quickly, not wanting Seungyoun to know he had seen it in case he woke up from the commotion. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back as the first tear slipped down his cheek. What has he been hiding from me? What has he been going through all by himself?
We’re on a date!
It’s not a real date.
I’m sorry it wasn’t real.
It was real enough.
The pain spread through his chest so severely that he thought he would never breathe again, but if he didn’t, that was the price he had to pay for being so selfish. How long had he looked at him with closed eyes? How long had he made him suffer? The tears came too fast, and he tilted his head over to make himself look like he was sleeping. His treacherous chest shook just enough to stir Seungyoun awake who had yet to notice that anything was wrong.
“What time is it,” he said, half asleep.
Wooseok pinched his eyes closed tight and bit down on his bottom lip. Please don’t look at me. Please don’t look at me. Go back to sleep.
“Wooseok,” he asked, groggy. “Are you awake?”
He pushed himself up enough to look at him without bothering him in case he wasn’t, and Wooseok was sure he had gotten away with it until he felt the fingers touch the stream of tears that made its way down his neck.
“Wooseok,” he said, firm.
“Please, just go back to sleep,” Wooseok begged, covering his eyes with his arm.
“Did something that happen? Did that asshole do something?”
“I’m the asshole,” Wooseok said. “I don’t want you to see me cry again. Please, just don’t look at me.”
He pushed himself up to get off the couch and run to his room until he could pull himself together, but he couldn’t move. He slumped over on his elbows and buried his face in his hands.
“Why did you kiss me,” he said.
“Because I didn’t want him to stare at you,” Seungyoun said, still not aware why Wooseok was upset. Still mincing his words to mean different things to both of them. It only made Wooseok cry more hearing it clearly for the first time.
“Why,” Wooseok said quietly between sobs.
“Because I can’t stand to see you upset,” he said. He sighed and stood up. “Don’t make me feel bad about this. I didn’t do it to upset you.”
“Wait,” Wooseok said as he walked away. He went to his own room to go back to sleep and deal with the shame he thought he had to feel, and all Wooseok could do was weep. I’m the asshole.
He cried by himself until he couldn’t cry anymore. He couldn’t stay on the couch all day or Seungyoun wouldn’t leave his room so he had to leave. He had to make himself move, but once stood up, his foot touched Seungyoun’s phone on the floor. He looked at the screen at that cursed message before noticing that an hour had passed. He had cried alone for an hour and left Seungyoun hurting for that long. Twenty minutes of suffering alone three times. The least he could do was take his phone to him.
He got up with wobbly legs and stepped towards Seungyoun’s room. He raised his hand to knock, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make himself disturb him, so he quietly opened the door with the intention of sitting his phone down next to him on the bed and tiptoeing out before he noticed he was there.
But Seungyoun was sleeping with the most painful frown on his face like he was having a horrible dream that Wooseok had sent him too, and Wooseok couldn’t leave him.
“Seungyoun,” he said softly, stroking his hair to wake him. “It’s me.”
He opened his eyes and looked around until he focused on Wooseok’s face. His frown softened into a smile that didn’t look happy at all, and Wooseok’s chest ached all over again.
“Move over,” he said.
“What?” Seungyoun asked.
“If you don’t, I’ll have to crawl over you,” he said.
“What are you doing?”
“Roll over, please,” Wooseok said, nudging him. Seungyoun moved, still confused, but too dazed to ask. Wooseok climbed into bed next to him and pulled the blankets over them both. “Go to sleep.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sleeping,” Wooseok said with his eyes closed.
“No, I mean, what are you doing here?”
“I’m sleeping with you.”
“With me?”
“Yes, is that a problem?”
“I guess not,” Seungyoun said.
“Go to sleep,” he said quietly.
“Okay,” he said.
Wooseok opened his eyes and saw him looking back at him on the other pillow. “You’re not sleeping.”
“Why do you want me to sleep?”
“Because I want to wake up with you in a way that doesn’t make you think you did something wrong,” he said.
Seungyoun huffed and rolled over, putting his back to him. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Do you wanna go out with me?” Wooseok asked.
“What?” He said, not sounding entirely amused.
Wooseok swallowed. He couldn’t lose his determination, or he would lose him for good. “Do you want to go on a date with me ?”
“Are you making fun of me?” he asked over his shoulder.
“No, I’m asking you out,” Wooseok said.
He rolled back over and looked at him like Wooseok had lost his mind. “Why?”
“Because I like you,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What do you mean why?”
“Is this a weird joke?”
“Does it look like I’m joking?”
“With your face that puffy, it’s hard to tell.”
Wooseok frowned and reached out to hit his chest, but he caught his hand before he could succeed. “Mean!”
“Can’t a guy play hard to get?” he asked, folding their fingers together and holding it to his chest.
Wooseok closed his eyes. “Go to sleep.”
“No,” he whispered.
“I’m going to sleep because we have a big date later,” he said matter of factly.
“Oh do we?”
“Are you saying no?”
“No,” he said. “I just want to know what kind of date this is going to be.”
“You have to go to sleep if you want to find out,” Wooseok said.
“How can I sleep with you all the way over there?”
Wooseok opened his eyes to roll them properly. Seungyoun had extended himself this far. The least Wooseok could do was go to him, but the prospect terrified him. He was suddenly more nervous than he had been the night before, rolling into Seungyoun’s arms to spend the morning with him. Once he was there, he melted into him. Even his arm was soft, it wasn’t fair.
“Go to sleep,” Seungyoun said to the back of his head.
“You’re such a pain,” Wooseok said with a smile on his face, and he couldn’t wait to take Seungyoun out for a date that was only for them.