Work Text:
Christmas was approaching fast and Crowley was starting to panic a little bit. Never did he pay a lot attention to Christmas - after all it wasn't a holiday that his lot really celebrated - too angelic and all of that but since he and Aziraphale were an item so to speak, the demon wanted to do something. Maybe celebrate the damn thing, the mortals seemed to enjoy the holiday season. Crowley was in it for alcohol… And making his angel smile. Maybe he would like that. Right? Aziraphale would probably love the Christmas season - he had the damn thing and other ornaments showcased all around his book shop in Soho and Crowley wanted to get into the Christmas spirit as well. The first thing were the presents but as he never really celebrated before, he was stuck.
His plants weren't helpful at all - he tried asking them for advice, but they betrayed him so he was on his own. He needed to get inspired but nothing was working and in the end he decided to ask for help someone else. An old friend of his that he spoke on quite regular basis these days. The one who helped him and his angel to get together in the first place and he still owed him for that. But for now he was in a need of help and in the end he decided to send Magnus Bane, the son of Asmodeus himself a little text again because he was desperate. He didn't really feel like portalling all the way to Brooklyn, so he decided to keep the conversation going through the text messages.
At the time, Magnus and Alec were setting up the Christmas tree and were both really excited for the holidays. Alexander was getting a lot of days off, all of his work paid off and he was finally free to spend the holidays with his beloved warlock. Magnus was smiling when he was watching Alec cutely humming a melody of a Christmas song as he was placing up the ornaments and he was looking rather content. No one was there to bother them that day. It was literally just them, music and cocktails and it was the best day ever. However, peace didn't last long because Magnus' phone buzzed and the warlock whined. Even Alec didn't look too impressed and he went closer to Magnus, who was now rolling his eyes when he saw who the text was from.
"Who is it?" asked Alec curiously and Magnus took in a deep breath and then just shook his head.
"It seems like our hotline for helping idiots in love is again open and in business," said Magnus and started cracking up because it really seemed like that. But all in all it was quite fun and he then just shook his head. "You remember my old friend, Crowley, right?" asked Magnus and Alec nodded, following Magnus to couch. They decided they needed a little break as they had been working on that Christmas tree for a while now and Magnus was quite interested to see where seemed to be a problem now.
"What does he say?"
"Well," said Magnus and then finally opened up the text from his friend.
Crowley: Hello, it is me 🐍 . Long time no see, my friend. When you have some free time, please text me back. This is quite urgent and cannot wait for much longer. I need your help again 🙇
Magnus started laughing.
Magnus: Alexander and I are just setting up the Christmas tree . 🎄 but I can talk. What's up this time? Again troubles with Azi?
Crowley: Oh, you are free. Amazing! And no. Things with angel are going quite nice, actually ✨. This is more of a different matter.
Crowley: Also, since when are you referring to MY angel as Azi? Is that new? 😱😱 I mean I know you guys have gotten close, but still! I didn’t know that you guys are on nickname bases! 😳😳😳😳
Crowley: It’s just curiosity. I’m not jealous or anything, you see. 🐍😎 It just made me wonder. As you know, I’m a serpent from the Garden of Eden, so I don’t really get jealous, like ever.
Crowley: Jealousy is an eight letter word and I don’t know her. 🙅
Crowley: Magnus, still there? Hello?
“You know,” said Alec and Magnus wasn’t replying anything back at the moment because he was too busy laughing too hard. Crowley was really amazing when he got jealous and then pretend that he was not jealous. It was hilarious and he just shook his head. Alec also found the whole situation beyond amusing. “For someone who is claiming that isn’t jealous, he sure is getting very defensive and you didn’t even make a comment about it,” said Alec because he was amazed just how easy a demon could get jealous. Over a nickname. Wow.
“Oh, yes,” said Magnus and shook his head. “Demons are like this. Wait, I should reply something.”
Magnus: 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Magnus: You know for someone who is claiming that isn’t jealous, you sure are getting defensive a lot 😂😂😂😂 I mean I haven’t even implied it yet 😂😂😂😂😂
Crowley: There you go, but you were thinking it! 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒
Magnus: Well was I wrong? 😂😂😂😂
Crowley: Yes, very much so! 👿👿👿👿👿
Magnus: Whatever you say, Crowley. Anyway, what did you need my help with? How can I help my so not very jealous demon friend with? 😉😉😚😚😚😘😘😘
Crowley: But I am not… never mind. 😤😤😤😤 There’s no use trying to talk some sense into you. I mean you’re just like Asmodeus, always too stubborn to listen. Pssh, as if I care if you think that I was jealous. I don’t care at all. I don’t care about stuff, I’m a bad demon.
“I mean clearly you do,” said Magnus out loud, but didn’t comment it and Alec was just sitting back and enjoying the show. It was funny to see his husband trying to reason with the stubborn demon, but it wasn’t working, so in the end, Magnus just gave up. He was more interested in what was so urgent in Crowley’s request. It sounded pretty serious, so…
Crowley: Okay, so the help!
Magnus: 👀👀👀👀👀👀
Magnus: I’m ready ✨✨✨✨✨✨ Lay it all on me!
Crowley: As you may all know the Christmas season is just around the corner.
Magnus: 😱😱😱😱😱
Magnus: Really???? 😱😱😱😱😱 I haven’t noticed!!!!!!
Magnus: 😂😂😂😂😂
Magnus: What? That’s it? You’re texting me to tell me that Christmas is coming? 😂
Crowley: 😒😒😒😒
Crowley: Why are you like this to me? 😒😒😒
Crowley: You don’t like me.
Magnus: Oh, come on, it was so obviously a joke! Of course I like you, we’re friends!
Crowley: 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒
Magnus: Aw, be a nice demon and tell me what’s bothering you then around Christmas time. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💕💕
Magnus: Christmas is time of joy, nobody should be troubled around these times.
Magnus: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎅 🎁😍😍😍😍
Crowley: No, this is where you’re wrong! One would think that Christmas is a happy time, but it’s quite the opposite. Yes, sure, you get together with the people you love, but you also have to buy them presents. And what is the worst? That you’re a demon and you don’t know what to gift your angel. You have no idea how one should celebrate the Christmas normally and then you stress over it so much. You try asking your plants, but they completely ignore you like the traitors that they are. So, you’re left alone and then you decide to ask your friend, who doesn’t want to help. And then you’re all alone. It’s dark times. Completely dark, you’re all alone with the shopping list and you don’t even know if your choices are good. So, no, Christmas isn’t fun time of year.
Crowley: And. I. Am. Not. Nice. 👿👿👿👿
“Oh, Crowley snapped,” commented Alec and then snickered because it was kind of funny. Yet, he also connected on him on the more spiritual level because it was really a struggle to get something for Magnus. It was hard to shop for someone who was already centuries old, had pretty much everything their heart desired. Yet, you wanted to gift them something special and unique. So, it was very difficult, but he still found it funny and he then shook his head.
“Ah, so this is what was bothering our poor Anthony Janthony,” said Magnus and snorted.
“Is that his real middle name, by the way?”
“No idea,” said Magnus and shrugged. “But it’s fun to tease him though,” he added on and chuckled again.
Magnus: Okay, Crowley, we need you to breathe. We will help you, okay?
Crowley: I’m quite obviously breathing…
Magnus: Calm down.
Crowley: Can’t. Impossible. 😭😭😭😭
Magnus: Sure you can ❤❤❤ We believe in you ❤❤❤ You’re badass ❤❤❤
Crowley: You think too highly of me 😭😭
Magnus: Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s true. Now, you’ve stopped the apocalypse from happening before, right? I’m pretty sure you can handle a little shopping for presents for Azi. Come on, smile ❤❤❤❤
Crowley: But I don’t know what to get him!!!!!!!!
Magnus: okay, Alexander and I got your back 💪💪💪💪 you don't have to worry. We promise to help you. Now. 👏
Crowley: yes? 😭😭😭😭😭
Magnus: Tell us first what kind of a direction were you thinking in? What kind of a thing do you wanna give to him? ❤❤❤
Crowley: Something meaningful ✨😎
Magnus: Okaay. And that would be?
Crowley: Pretty things. My angel deserves pretty things!
Magnus: Can you be just a little more specific? 😅
Crowley: Hmm
Crowley: 💡 💡
Crowley: What are you getting your Shadowhunter? 👀
Alec perked up next to him and Magnus started giggling. Magnus playfully booped Alec’s nose and then shook his head. “I’m not gonna tell now that you’re here,” said Magnus and then grinned when he saw Alec’s pout. “Now, now, be a good boy. Santa won’t bring you pretty things if you’re on the naughty list,” said Magnus with a sly smirk and Alec snorted.
“Oh, I’ve been plenty naughty it’s too late now, just tell me,” whined Alec, who wanted to know what Magnus had gotten for him after all, but Magnus didn’t budge and he continued sulking there next to him. With a chuckle and a head shake, Magnus went back to Crowley, who was waiting impatiently probably for his reply.
Magnus: My angel is right here next to me, I cannot tell you!
Crowley: Ugh. But I need ideas, inspiration. I have none. See! 😭😭😭😭
Magnus: Okay, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Well, let’s see what your angel likes. ✨
Crowley: Food…
Magnus: 💡
Crowley: He loves it more than me
Magnus: That’s not true 😂😂😂
Crowley: His relationship with crepes is a lot more profound than what he and I have. It has a lot more spark and deep feelings. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Crowley: Crepes are my sworn enemy
Crowley: 🥞🔪👿
Magnus: Okay, you’re getting ridiculous now. Azi loves you and you know it. And since you know he likes sweet things, how about you get him something yummy?
Crowley: And than have him ignore me and pay attention to the food? No thank you 😒😒 I need something that would make the angel only pay attention to ME 😒😒😒
Magnus: Okay, so we’re in that headspace 😂😂😂😂
Crowley: !!!!!!!
Magnus: How about a sweater? It’s cold outside and it would be a good idea!
Crowley: oh yes, I could do that!
Crowley: OH HOW ABOUT A WARM SWEATER WITH A SNAKE ON IT? RIGHT, IT’S A GOOD IDEA?!
Magnus was again laughing, but he nodded.
Magnus: Yes!
Magnus: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Magnus: You’re a genius!
Crowley: Oh, I am! And I could add a book to it as well. Angel loves books!
Magnus: Yes!
Crowley: ….
Magnus: Yes?
Crowley: I’ll add some crepes to that as well. Angel is adorable when he is munching on them. ❤❤❤❤
Magnus: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Magnus: Amazing, you do that. Not gonna be jealous?
Crowley: I will not give into that temptation!
Magnus: 😂😂😂😂
Magnus: Such a good demon you are 😏😏😏😏
Crowley: You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?
Magnus: Yes 😏😏😏😏😏
Crowley: …
Crowley: Anyway, thank you! I owe you again
Crowley: 🐍 is happy, 🐍 is content
Magnus: 🎅 🐍!!!!!!!!!
Crowley: No!
Crowley: 🎅 🐍😎
Magnus: 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Alec was smiling and he then just shook his head because his husband was indeed a dork, then again so was he. And he was a proud dork, that he was and he just happily sighed, biting into his lip. Magnus soon stopped texting Crowley and Alec perked up - he needed to ask Magnus more about his present. “So, you really won’t tell me what you’ll get for me?” asked Alec and Magnus nodded. Alec pouted and Magnus only pressed a kiss upon those pouty lips.
“Patience, my love.”
“Well, it was worth a try,” said Alec and then smiled. Magnus shook his head and then clasped his hands - how about if they resumed that Christmas tree, huh? “Let’s finish this baby up,” said Alec and pointed to the tree. Magnus nodded and then stood up as well, their laughter filling the entire Lightwood-Bane residency. Christmas spirit was officially there!
