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“Chloe, I’m sorry.”
Chloe sighs over the phone and squeezes her fist tight to rein in her frustration. She can already feel the nail marks on her palm as she looks around the dining room where the table is half set. She was in the middle of setting up for a Christmas party where all the Bellas were coming in from out of town to have dinner and drinks in Beca and Chloe’s new New York home. They were doubling it as a housewarming party they never got to do when they moved in about three months ago. It was a three day event that they’ve been planning for a while with dinner that night, lunch on Christmas Eve, and all day Christmas. But now it seems like Beca was throwing a wrench in their festivities.
“Chlo?” Beca’s voice sounds wary and Chloe realizes she hasn’t said anything in a while. “Are you still there?”
Chloe takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m still here.” Her voice is steady and she hears Beca breathe a sigh of relief.
“Look, I know we’ve had this planned for a while but they cancelled all flights because of the snowstorm, I’m gonna be stuck here for a couple of day.” Beca pauses and Chloe pinches the bridge of her nose waiting for it. “So I’m going to be missing actual Christmas too.”
Chloe doesn’t say anything and she can already feel the prickle of tears in her eyes. Whether they’re tears of anger or sadness she doesn’t know but all she can do is take another deep breath.
“Chloe? Come on, say something,” Beca’s voice is desperate and contrite.
The past few months have been rough for their relationship. Beca’s career had taken off pretty much overnight and soon enough, she was one of most in demand producers. The record company gave her the choice of heading their LA or New York office but Beca promptly picked New York. Beca and Chloe already had established their lives there and Beca didn’t want Chloe uprooting her own career to follow her to LA.
But it also meant Beca traveled a lot meeting new artists and producing their albums. At first, it was exciting and the new lifestyle they were living was that of luxury and not worrying about money for once since they moved to New York right after Barden. But their little arguments turned into bigger fights but at the end of the day, they always compromised.
Chloe thought it would get a little better when they finally moved into a house. A bigger space they can call home and not a loft or an apartment. They were officially homeowners and taking that next step of their relationship. But Beca’s career kept growing and the fights got more frequent.
“Chloe, come on, tell me what you’re thinking?” Beca’s voice broke through Chloe’s thoughts. She really wasn’t in a mood for another fight.
“I was thinking,” she began and runs a hand through her hair. She had so much to do before the girls arrived later that night. It wouldn’t be that much if Beca was home helping her but Beca just had to go to the record company’s Chicago location to help an artist finish their album for a Christmas day release. “I was thinking,” Chloe repeats, “that you already missed Thanksgiving and now you’re missing Christmas. Why make it a hat trick? Plan a trip during New Year’s and make it three for three?” Chloe regrets it the second it leaves her mouth and she closes her eyes tight fighting back the tears. She hears Beca breathing on the other end and she can just picture her bracing herself for another fight.
Beca’s exasperated voice comes through. “Chloe, I’m sorry but it’s not like I planned on getting stuck here during a storm. I can’t control the weather.”
It was the wrong thing to the say and Chloe starts pacing the dining room, her temper flaring. It didn’t help that there was so much things that still needed to be set up and it was taking everything in her not to just call off the entire thing.
“No Beca, you can’t but you know what you can control? Your damn schedule! You didn’t have to fly out to Chicago. They could’ve finished that album without you physically being there!” Chloe’s voice steadily rises and she waits for Beca to yell back but she doesn’t so she continues. “You could’ve listened to me when I told you fly out yesterday before the storm came. You could be here right now helping me set up for this party for our friends. This whole week was your idea!” Chloe stops pacing and takes a deep breath and wipes at her eyes. She was so tired.
“I’m sorry,” Beca says again, her voice soft, a stark contrast from Chloe’s. “I know that doesn’t make it better, but I am. I’m sorry I keep doing this. I miss you so much.” Her voice cracks.
Chloe chokes out a sob and wants to return the sentiment but she can’t. Not when she’s so sad and angry, but she does. She misses Beca so much but she can’t bring herself to say it back.
“I have to finish setting up for the party. I’ll see you when I see you.” She hears Beca say her name one more time before she ends the call. She’s tempted to throw her phone across the room but instead she opens up her contacts and presses Aubrey’s number.
“Is everything okay?” Aubrey’s worried voice comes through after two rings.
Chloe almost laughs. “Hello to you too?”
Aubrey ignores that. “I know something’s wrong because you’ve been texting me all day and decided to call now, I take it Beca isn’t home yet?”
Chloe sighs and takes a seat at their kitchen island. Her eyes fall on a Christmas card her and Beca sent out to their friends and family. It was their first time sending them out as a couple and Chloe wanted to make sure it was accompanied with a cute picture of the two of them. The one they chose was of them ice skating at Central Park. It was one of Chloe’s favorite photos.
“Nope, she’s stuck in Chicago. All flights been cancelled until the snowstorm passes so she’s going to miss Christmas Eve and Christmas too.” She tries not to sound angry and bitter but it comes out as such.
“I’m sorry, Chloe,” Aubrey says with sincerity.
Chloe is starting to hate those words so she quickly changes the subject. “Can you help me finish setting up before the rest of the girls arrive?”
“Sure,” Aubrey says without questioning it further. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
--
Chloe focuses all her energy on being a good host once all the girls arrive later that night. She had to briefly explain that Beca couldn’t make it and everyone was sad she wasn’t there but they mostly focused on being together again and caught up on each other’s lives. Beca even group messaged all the Bellas and offered her own apology and was hoping they’d get together soon. She also tries to call Chloe again but Chloe ignores the call. Along with the accompanying text messages.
Once the night unwinds and everyone Ubers themselves back to the Airbnb that Beca rented for them all, Chloe takes a moment to decompress herself. Seeing her friends after so much time apart was exactly what she needed but the Beca shaped hole in her heart still ached.
Aubrey volunteers to stay over and clean up so Chloe can go to bed early. The day took it out of her and she was tired both physically and emotionally. She tells Aubrey to stay in the guest room tonight because the snow was starting to come down harder and she didn’t want Aubrey heading back in this kind of weather.
Chloe checks her phone before going to bed and sees the missed call and text messages from Beca. She sighs as she opens the messages.
Beca:
I told the girls already I’m sorry I missed the party. I hope you’re enjoying it.
I know you’re mad and I know you’re tired of me telling you I’m sorry but I am. I wish I was home with you. I wish I could be in your arms while we watch the snow fall outside. I wish we were sitting by our fireplace that I still have no idea how to work. I wish I can wake you on Christmas morning. I wish I can be with you right now.
I love you, Chloe. Merry Christmas.
Chloe wipes her tears away as she finishes reading Beca’s text messages and types really quickly.
Chloe:
I love you too.
Chloe locks her phone and puts it on her bedside table. The snow was falling steadily outside and it looked like a scene from a movie. The only thing that was missing was snuggling up to Beca. The bed felt ten times bigger without her there. Chloe has a hard time falling asleep and she only finally drifts off after playing Beca’s demo of a Christmas song she recorded right before she left. She falls asleep to Beca singing to her.
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love on this winter’s night with you.
--
The smell of bacon and coffee wakes Chloe up and she smiles knowing Aubrey was probably going to try to distract her the entire time. She gets up and gets ready quickly and takes a peek outside through their bedroom window. The snow was about four or five inches deep and covered the entirety of their backyard. She can already see some of the neighbor kids playing outside building snowmen and having snowball fights. Maybe she could convince the girls to build a snowman with her later.
Chloe puts on one of Beca’s old hoodies and makes her way downstairs. There was a slight chill in the house and she mentally reminds herself to light the fire later on in the day.
“Aubrey, you didn’t have to cook for me, you’re my guest,” Chloe says as she rounds the corner to the kitchen where she sees Aubrey sitting at the island drinking coffee.
“Well I didn’t,” Aubrey replies with a smile and nods over to the direction of the stove.
Chloe stops in her tracks and her eyes widen when she sees Beca standing at the stove cooking them breakfast.
“Hi,” Beca says softly, a small smile on her face. Aubrey politely excuses herself and squeezes Chloe’s arm before heading back to the guestroom. Chloe slowly approaches Beca, afraid she’s dreaming.
“You’re here,” she whispers.
Beca turns off the burner. “I’m here,” Beca repeats and before she could get out another word, Chloe pulls her into a hug and squeezes tightly, burying her face into Beca’s neck. “Chloe,” Beca says with a laugh when Chloe holds on tighter.
“How are you here?” Chloe asks still not letting go. Beca felt so warm in her arms and she wasn’t about to let go.
“I drove.”
Chloe finally pulls back a little and looks at Beca incredulously. “You drove? Beca, that’s a twelve hour drive!” Her heart swells even though her brains tells her that Beca driving that far nonstop in a snowstorm was absolutely a reckless thing to do.
Beca only shrugs and pulls Chloe back to her. “It was fourteen with all the snow, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be home with you.”
Chloe tries not to think how much it cost Beca to drive a rental that far because she was home. Beca was home with her for Christmas. She didn’t think she could love her more than that moment.
“I’m tired of being away from you, “ Beca begins and takes a hold of Chloe’s hands. Chloe squeezes them. “The reason I chose New York is because I wanted to be close to home. Close to you. But even with that, I was still being pulled away. That wasn’t fair to you, to us.” She brings Chloe’s hand to her lips and kisses them. “But you’re right, I do control my own schedule, so no more spontaneous trips across country. Whatever anyone needs can be done right here.” Beca says resolutely looking Chloe in the eyes.
Chloe leans in so their foreheads are touching. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I was making you choose between your career and me.”
Beca’s hand comes up to cup Chloe’s face. “No, you never made me feel like that Chloe, you’re the most supportive girlfriend and best friend. I just didn’t know how to navigate this new life. But I’m learning.” She runs her fingers through Chloe’s hair. “And I have you beside me along the way.”
Chloe smiles and kisses her. “Yeah, you’re stuck with me.”
Beca smiles against the kiss. “No complaints.”
Chloe pulls back a little but still holds on the Beca with her arms around her waist. “What time did you get here?”
“A little before 6am. I left shortly after we talked. Fourteen hours on the road with snow sucks by the way, I don’t recommend it.”
Chloe laughs and shakes her head. “When the euphoria of you being home for Christmas wears off, I’m going to yell at you for that. But until then, I’m going to brag about how my sweet and soft girlfriend drove fourteen hours in this weather to be with me.”
Beca scrunches her face at Chloe calling her soft. “What time are the girls coming back for lunch? Do I have time to nap? Because I’m really fucking tired.”
Chloe laughs and takes her hand to lead her upstairs. “They’re not due until twelve, go shower and take a nap. I’ll wake you before they get here. You can be a surprise.”
Chloe can’t stop smiling throughout the morning. After Beca took a shower, Chloe lies with her for a few moments stealing kisses until Beca’s traveling finally got to her and she falls asleep. Chloe watches her sleep for a little bit before heading back downstairs where Aubrey was already preparing day two of their festivities.
“You really got that girl whipped,” Aubrey comments as she sets the table.
Chloe smirks while she opens the fridge to take out the things they needed for lunch. “Oh you have no idea just how much.”
Aubrey turns green. “Gross Chloe, I don’t need to know that.”
“I didn’t even say anything!” Chloe laughs and tosses her a bag of lettuce.
“Please, just keep it PG rated, you know Amy and Stacie will definitely not.”
“Thanks for helping me with everything, Aubrey. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
Aubrey smiles as she makes the salad. “You’re welcome, I’m glad you got your Christmas wish,” she says and looks up the stairs in the general vicinity of where Beca was sleeping. “I feel like she’d move heaven and hell for you.”
Chloe smiles. “I’d do exactly the same.”
--
Chloe is sure Beca’s eardrums burst once the girls arrive later that afternoon and saw she made it home for their Christmas festivities. There were screams and excited squeals and a loud “It’s a Christmas miracle!” most likely from Amy as Beca emerged for the group hug the Bellas encased her in. Chloe’s heart swells at the sight of her family finally all together again. They spend the majority of the afternoon day drinking and listening to Beca’s stories of all the famous and not so famous artists she works with.
They get teased by the girls for barely staying apart longer than a few minutes but Chloe doesn’t mind. Beca’s seat was pretty much Chloe’s lap the entire afternoon.
“Alright, aca-bitches, some of us have plans with Santa this evening, so I’m peacing out,” Amy announces. “I’ll see you all tomorrow for presents!”
Beca grimaces. “You have plans with who now?”
“Amy sat on Santa’s lap at some random store today,” Stacie supplies. “I really don’t think he worked for that store.”
The rest of the girls shared similar disgusted faces but everyone laughed. They all said their goodbyes as they went off with their own evening plans.
Once the house was empty again, Chloe cleans up and Beca attempts to light their fireplace. After a few minutes of fiddling with a switch, she sighs in defeat. “Babe, I don’t wanna blow us up, can you help?”
Chloe laughs as she approaches the fireplace. “Bec, you literally just turn this on.” Chloe flips a switch and the gas fireplace ignites in flames on the log. She kisses Beca cheek before finishing up cleaning
Beca grumbles at how easy that was but sits backs down on the couch. The room was already warm and she smiles at the stockings hanging on the mantle with hers and Chloe’s name on it. Their Christmas tree in the corner was lit beautifully with colorful lights and various ornaments. All the girls had dropped off their gifts so the tree was overflowing with gifts waiting to be opened tomorrow.
“I know we just had a meal, but what do you want for dinner?” Beca asks when Chloe returns and cuddles up next to her.
“I don’t know what I want for dinner but I know what I want for dessert.”
Beca stifles a yawn, still tired from her long drive. “What’s that?”
“You.”
Beca’s entire body blushes. “Chloe,” she says shyly and Chloe laughs. Even after years of being together, Beca still gets flustered around Chloe.
“What?” Chloe say innocently and runs her hand under Beca’s sweater and dips her fingers in the waistband of her jeans. She feels Beca shiver at her touch as she moves closer. “I love dessert.”
Beca laughs and stills Chloe’s wandering hand. “I love dessert too but I’m still really tired and I don’t think I’d sate your appetite.”
Chloe playfully pouts but removes her hand. “Okay, when you’re all rested, I’ll make sure to care of you. And you know, fuck you into the New Year.”
Beca blushes again. “God, you’re the worst.”
“You love me.”
Beca just smiles and leans up to kiss her. “I do. And I know it’s not technically Christmas yet, but I wanted to give you one of your gifts before we have everyone over tomorrow.” Beca gets up and runs up to their room really quickly and Chloe waits patiently and curiously.
When Beca comes back, she’d holding a small square jewelry box and Chloe’s heart stops. Beca sees it immediately and she opens her mouth before Chloe can. “Okay before you say anything, it’s not an engagement ring.” Chloe’s heart starts beating again. “I mean, I’m going to marry you one day, that’s something that will happen but right now, I want you to have this.” She hands the jewelry box to Chloe and she takes it gingerly.
Chloe gasps when she opens it. It’s not an engagement ring but it’s definitely a ring. A plain silver band set with a small blue gemstone. “Beca,” she whispers. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s my birthstone,” Beca explains, “and a promise ring.” She takes the ring out of the box for Chloe and holds it out. “As in I promise to always be here not only as your girlfriend but as your best friend. And I’ll promise I will love you forever.” Chloe’s eyes fills with tears at Beca’s words. “And I think you should wear it on your right hand so our nosy friends don’t ask questions,” Beca finishes and Chloe laughs.
“Yeah that’s a good idea.” Beca slips the ring delicately on Chloe’s right ring finger. “I love it. I love you.” She takes Beca’s face in her hands and kisses her. When they pull apart, Chloe starts laughing much to Beca’s surprise and confusion.
“What’s so funny?” Beca asks as she wipes away Chloe’s tears with a smile on her face.
“Well, since we’re exchanging one gift now, I should give you yours.” Chloe walks over to the mantle and reaches into Beca’s stocking to take out something.
“Hey, we said no stocking stuffers!” Beca exclaims playfully.
“Yeah, I only said that so you wouldn’t think to look where I hid this.” She returns to the couch and holds out the gift. Beca laughs when sees it’s also a small square jewelry box. “Apparently we just have the same brain.”
She opens the box for Beca and her eyes also widen and fill with tears. It was also a ring very similar to the one that Beca just gave her. The band was also silver but with a braided pattern and the small gemstone was red.
“That’s my birthstone,” Chloe say unnecessarily but Beca smiles anyways. “And this is also a promise ring. I got it when we signed the papers for this house.” Beca looks up from the ring and the tears spill from her eyes. “Because I knew that day this was going to be forever. I know we’re not ready for marriage just yet but I promise I’ll be by your side as we get there.” Chloe takes Beca’s right hand and does the same thing Beca did earlier and slips the ring onto her right ring finger.
“Why are we so corny?” Beca asks through tears and intertwines their fingers.
Chloe laughs and pulls Beca to her so she was sitting and straddling her lap. She wraps her arms around her and holds tightly. “Merry Christmas, Beca.”
“Merry Christmas, Chloe.”