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When Taehyung dated Seokjin, he felt like he was flying.
He was scared of heights.
It wasn’t that Seokjin was a bad guy, no. He was kind and so, so funny. Taehyung was on his first year of college, Seokjin was older and gentle and Taehyung broke up with him not even two months into their relationship. It was then when Tae’s reputation started.
He used to take Taehyung to long walks early in the morning, cook him breakfast and hold him tight. He was just so charming and handsome he made Taehyung feel like he was dating a prince, and with all the money his ex’s family had, he could easily pass as someone from royalty.
After a walk around a park, near 9 am, Taehyung simply looked at his hyung straight into the eyes and told him he wanted to break up. Seokjin didn’t beg, Taehyung was grateful for that. With a last kiss on the cheek, they said goodbye.
Six months later, Taehyung found himself tangled in the arms of Hoseok, who was majoring in dance and whose smile bright so shine he made Taehyung feel dizzy at times. He took Taehyung out to dance at local restaurants with a cool concept and that allowed that. There was always a good ambient and the other people in there were middle aged couples with their teenage kids, some college students, one or three elderly people and some random young men and women. It wasn’t a bar, it was a family friendly place and it made Taehyung happy.
In the middle of a dance, both of them sweaty and after a salad each, Taehyung approached Hoseok, two months into their relationship, and practically screamed over the loud latin music: “I want to break up with you!” Hoseok looked at him with sad eyes, but nodded, inviting Taehyung for one last dance.
They danced like there was no tomorrow, and with a kiss on the cheek, Taehyung walked away, a taxi already waiting for him outside.
Later, someone would ask Taehyung why did he break up with Hoseok if they were such a cute couple, and Taehyung would look up from his calculus book, a brown arched, and say: “we weren’t dating. I was just fooling around with him.”
It was one whole year into college, with two boyfriends in his past, that Min Yoongi came to Taehyung’s life.
Yoongi was someone who felt fresh, being that Taehyung was used to loud boyfriends who laughed without restrictions and talked in a way everyone in the place could hear. Yoongi was calmer, quieter.
His hands were always warm, and he liked to hold Taehyung’s. Tae’s hands had never felt as good as when Yoongi robbed them of their usual coldness, softly brushing his thumb over his knuckles.
Taehyung could spend hours just hearing Yoongi play the piano and humming under his breath, composing beautiful songs Taehyung would later sing for the older. They liked to hang out at Yoongi’s apartment, watching series, studying together, eating chips and laughing softly. Yoongi wasn’t the most expressive man ever, but his eyes were always full of fondness and his touch was gentle. His smile was tiny and almost shy. Taehyung liked him a lot.
He broke up with Yoongi within the two months. “Do you want me to sing something for you one last time?” he murmured, both of them still sitting on the bench in front of Yoongi’s piano, who only nodded when Taehyung told him about their relationship and its end.
“Ah, I didn’t want to believe in the rumors, but everyone said you break up with your boyfriend two months into your relationship,” Yoongi said, looking at Taehyung. He bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry I believed in them. I wrote a song for this moment.”
Taehyung chuckled, receiving the sheet of paper Yoongi handled him. He cleared his throat and started singing about love, good moments and a calm break up.
“Close when you leave,” Yoongi told him, his hands already on the piano. Taehyung kissed his cheek and closed behind him.
“I think I did it again, then,” Taehyung answered when he was asked if he dated Min Yoongi, because Yoongi said that yes, they dated. “I made him believe we were more than just friends.”
Taehyung almost felt bad for Kim Namjoon, who really didn’t believe in the rumors and went straight to him with a rose and a possible date.
He was so smart, so peaceful, so polite. He was everything Taehyung didn’t deserve, and yet, he was there, kissing him softly, caressing his cheek, brushing his hair away his eyes. He was there reading poetry to Taehyung, looking at him as if he was the one who created all the stars and cute little animals in the world.
Namjoon looked right through the lie Taehyung’s life was, whispering a kind “you love too much for your own good, Taehyung.”
Did he?
Their dates took place in museums. It was thanks to him that Taehyung discovered his undying love for art and got interested in history. He had never had as much fun as when he and Namjoon walked around whatever museum while holding hands, chatting calmly and appreciating everything they saw. Every week there was a new place to go, a new thing to learn.
And then Namjoon was leaving. He got himself an internship in USA and they wanted him there in less than one week. When he told Taehyung, he was the one who nodded this time.
“Take me to that contemporary art exposicion that opened yesterday?” he requested. Namjoon smiled.
They walked around holding hands, like they always did, and discussed about the pieces in the museum. When Namjoon and Taehyung were outside the museum, ready to leave, Taehyung kissed his cheek.
“You should have listened to the rumors.”
Namjoon laughed wholeheartedly, shaking his head.
“Which rumors?”
“The ones that say I’m a player, the one that say I don’t take anything with the seriousness it requires, including my partner.”
The stare Namjoon gave him made him weak in the knees, too fond to handle.
“Oh, but you do take it way too seriously, Taehyung. I told you, you love too much for your own good.”
When he was asked if he dated Namjoon, Taehyung stayed silent.
“I will break your heart,” Taehyung warned the man in front of him. Two years since he got into college and Park Jimin was asking him out.
He offered a dimpled smile.
“Maybe I will break yours.”
From then on, everything was fire.
Jimin was barely older than him for a couple of months, something weird considering his type was older guys. Another thing Jimin had that his past boyfriends didn’t was the boldness, the wildness. He took Taehyung to bars in the late, late night and they stayed there dancing very closely to the other until the early morning. They drank like crazy and every time Jimin had his hands on Taehyung, he felt fire going through his veins.
So used to boyfriends who took him to calm places, family friendly restaurants, boyfriends who barely talked and that smelled like home and cookies, Jimin stomped into his life smelling like strawberry vodka and sometimes cigarettes, liking very loud music and kissing him out of breath.
Jimin was that kind of person who comes into your life only once. Jimin was his ‘first time’ way too many times.
“I told you I would break your heart,” Taehyung gasped, pulling apart and looking at Jimin’s eyes. The other man smiled, drinking what remained in his glass before taking Taehyung closer to him.
“Can I buy you one last drink?”
Taehyung walked out of that bar with the shirt a mess and almost open, the zip of his jeans down, the ghost of plush lips on his neck, the breath smelling like strawberry and the heart thumping in a way that almost hurt.
He moved to Seoul before anyone could ask anything, already done with having to hide how easily and deeply he fell in love with the facade of a man who liked to break hearts. Out of all those relationships, the only one who got out of them hurting was himself.
They told him he would have a roommate, but when he arrived, the dorm was empty. There were two individual beds and two desks in each side of the room. One side, the one with a messy bed and badly pilled books, had posters of videogames on the walls, some other of rock bands. There was a worrying amount of black clothes in the corner, too.
Taehyung decided to start unpacking, and when he was almost done, the door was open, the keys making sound since before they were even close. A man in all black, leather jacket, combat boots and tattooed knuckles entered. His gaze was heavy and he was tall and bulky, his dark red hair short. He dropped his backpack unceremoniously and closed the door behind him. Taehyung stood straight with a pair of pink pants in his hands when the man looked at him and oh dear God, he felt like he could faint of fear. That was it, Taehyung was sent there to die. This man in front of him looked bad and rude and everything he always tried to avoid. He didn’t look like someone who could handle Taehyung’s expressiveness, he would punch him right in the face if he even dared to laugh too—
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived,” the man blurted, bowing profusely. “I-I’m Jeon Jeongguk, nice to meet you. I apologize for the mess, I swear I tried to clean everything up but uh— well I mean, it was worse before they told me you would arrive soon— ¡Ah, right! I was out in a class and decided to buy you some chicken as a welcome… dinner? Do you like chicken?”
Looking how nervous the other was, babbling and shyly gazing to the floor, Taehyung felt like an asshole for judging him so quickly. He smiled, accepting the take out chicken the boy offered to him.
“Thank you so much, Jeongguk.”
After that, surprisingly, Taehyung realized he was in love the day of his graduation. Long after he moved to Seoul and met this amazing boy that was now hugging him in the middle of that big crowd, smiling with eyes full of pride.
Hm. He did it again, he fell in love. This felt different, though; this time Taehyung didn't want to run away. This time Taehyung really wanted to stay, to let the feeling grow, to… to be vulnerable for once.
He relaxed in Jeongguk’s embrace, sighing softly. It was alright. This time it really was alright.