Chapter Text
-One week ago-
Scott is lying on his bed, and I’m standing a healthy distance from the kitsunes flanking him. “This is a terrible idea,” I say, hoping that the hundredth time is the charm.
“He’s right you know. I’ve only seen this done,” the older kitsune concurs. At this I cross my arms and start pacing back and forth.
“Not helping, Mom,” Kira snaps before she looks pointedly at Scott. “I think you should tell Liam that it’ll be fine.”
He returns the look, sitting up a little. “It’ll be fine.” I can’t help but notice the brief and silent exchange between the two.
‘What am I missing?’ I think to myself, confused at what they could even be hiding. Scott eases back onto the bed and signals that he is ready. Part of me wants to not miss what could very well be Scott’s last waking moment, but another just wants to turn away and hide from the same moment. I end up staring at the bright electric halo around Scott and Kira. His expression of mind numbing agony doesn’t go away until she is done and he flops back onto the bed.
I walk out of the room and get a phone to call an ambulance with, drying my tears as I go.
-Present-
It’s 3:00 in the morning. Or somewhere around there. I gave up looking at the clock after every glance started to show that only a minute had passed. Sleep sounds great to my body, which is still aching after being thrown around by berserkers, but whenever I sleep I end up with nightmares. ‘Maybe I could call Scott. I could ask him to come over. I always fall asleep when he’s here.’ I crush the thought.
Between him almost getting killed at the PSATs and almost dying at the hospital I realized that the things I feel about Scott aren’t simply beta to alpha feelings. I’ve never fallen in love before, but I imagine that this is about what it feels like. I hate it. He’d never go for me. True-alpha-never-looked-at-a-guy-Scott is with let’s-be-awkward-together-Kira and before that there was almost-never-talked-about-Alisson. Even if he wasn’t so painstakingly, and clearly straight, the pack seems to look at me like their little brother, and who dates their little brother.
I roll over, trying to get more comfortable, in the hope that nightmare berserkers are marginally better than thinking about my terrible excuse for a love life.
WHIRRR BEEEP BUZZ WHIRRRR
The sudden noise from the printer breaks the clam and quiet of my room, making me leap from the bed. ‘I never turned that on.’ I pad forward towards the printer and pick up the paper it spits out. It’s the dead pool. ‘Why would this be printing? Is something diff—‘
LIAM DUNBAR 18
Just like that I am one of the most expensive targets on the dead pool. The printer is still spewing the list in an endless waterfall of ink and paper. Each and every one has my name on it. Each one marks me for 18 million dollars. The cancel button doesn’t work. I am drowning in the cascade of paper. I pull the plug. The printer stops. I take a few deep breaths.
Exhaustion starts to creep into my limbs and tugs at my consciousness. I drag my feet back towards my bed and I collapse into it. I am rewarded for finally falling to sleep with nightmares of berserkers, wells, and faceless assasins.
I am shocked awake by my alarm. At first I think it is my printer going off again, but then I remember I left it unplugged after the incident last night. I turn off my alarm and pick up my phone, which buzzes in my hand. I let out a small yelp and jump. ‘It’s just a phone, it’s not going to kill you,’ I berate myself, frustrated at my jumpiness. I pick it up again and look at the texts I missed through the night.
Scott: thanks for trying guys
Kira: mom was airlifted to a hospital. Dad and I are going to meet her
Then the most recent one
Scott: how you feeling?
I write back quickly
Liam: fine
‘it’s a good thing words don’t have a heartbeat.’ Throwing my phone onto my bed, I move towards the shower and start my usual morning routine.
I shut the door behind me as I enter the bathroom and flinch at the loud snap of it closing. ‘it’s just a door get over yourself’ When I finally get into the shower, the hot water feels surprisingly soothing and eases some of the tension that had built in my body through the night. I turn the water hotter and hotter, sitting under the relaxing stream for what feels like forever. When I finally step out, steam curls off my body. I hold my arms out and watch it dance and swirl in the air. ‘I am staring at steam like it is the most interesting thing in the world. I really didn’t get a lot of sleep did I?’
I swipe at the mirror to clear the thick fog that had coalesced there. A berserker is behind me. I whip around, snapping out my claws.
But nothing is there. Just more steam. I turn back to the mirror and my face stares back at me. ‘This is going to be a long day’
I see three more berserkers before I even make it to the bus and I lost count of how many I saw in front yards or on top of cars on the way to school. I push through the doors of the school, only to be assaulted by a wave of noise that makes me flinch. A berserker appears next to a group of people down the hall, and when I look away another appears by some lockers. ‘They’re not actually there. Just breath. Make it through the day’
“Liam!” I jump at the direct noise. It’s Mason. “hey, you’re going to the bonfire tonight right?”
The other people in the hall are starting to turn into berserkers and back again before my eyes. “I think, I’ll skip it”
“What?! No. we are going and we’re going to find you a nice girl and me a lacrosse player. I mean, odds are that at least one of them plays for my team right?” he says with grin.
I turn to the floor ‘that can’t turn into one, right?’ I realize mason is waiting for a response. I force out, “yeah, I’ll be there” before shuffling to the locker room for a team meeting with coach.
I’m not sure what I expected from the “team meeting” but it is proving to be surprisingly uneventful, especially considering coach was the one running it. Scott’s here though, with his annoyingly perfect hair, and smile, and face, and his perfect everything. As soon as I stepped into the room I could smell him. The world righted itself, and there were no more berserkers. The meeting continues and I can feel myself flinching less and less the longer I can smell him.
‘Why am I so dependent on him? I shouldn’t need him to hold my hand all the time, literally or figuratively. Why should Scott-oh-so-perfect-Mccall waste his time on me? I end up calling him in the middle of the night just so he can hug me. That’s exactly what he needs to go with the dead pool and almost getting killed all the time, a needy little freshman. He only keeps me around because I’m his accidental beta. His beta that has IED. His beta that has to see him every few hours. His beta that he always has to save.’
I jump up and leave the room. More people are flooding out behind me as coach finishes his speech. Not wanting to see them turn into berserkers, I find a quiet stair case and busy myself with inspecting my lacrosse stick until my next class starts. I just end up angrily poking at it and adding to the running list of reasons Scott McCall should hate me.