Actions

Work Header

Let's Join The Modern Era, Shall We?

Summary:

Crowley figures its time to bring Aziraphale into the modern era, even if he has to drag the angel in kicking and screaming. It certainly wouldn't hurt the other man to know what an e-reader is, much less have a phone that isn't a rotary phone he found in a second-hand shop.

Notes:

Written for the ever lovely Amanda! Cause she's a sucker for these two.

Chapter 1: A gift or two

Chapter Text

The gift is pressed into his hands by the demon without a word. Aziraphale blinks in confusion, followed shortly by delight that blossoms across his features as he smiles at the other man.

“Crowley! A gift? What’s the occasion, dear?”

The demon shrugs before he jams his hands into his pockets, the picture of faux casualness. The betrayal of that casualness is the smile that threatens to overtake the demon’s face at how happy Aziraphale is. “I thought it seemed like something you’d need, angel.”

“Gracious, now I’m curious.” He turns the wrapped package over in his hands, admiring the precise wrapping. For as much bluster as Crowley put on, the demon was fussy about the details. “What ever could I need?”

“Well, you’ll find out if you open it.” Crowley gives a lazy ‘go on’ gesture. Aziraphale laughs a little at the motion, taking some delight in how the demon was trying to brush over how much care he put into wrapping the gift. “Fine, fine. I was just admiring your handiwork.”

The demon sputters a little, suddenly very interested in anything else but the angel’s face. The floorboards were suddenly utterly interesting. “It’s just wrapping paper.”

“Did you curl these ribbons yourself?” Aziraphale plucks at delicately curled ribbon ends with his fingers, smiling back at the demon. “I’ve heard you have to be careful when you do this with scissors?”

The other man gives a low frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “Open it.”

Aziraphale finds himself laughing once again, carefully starting to unwrap the gift. He doesn’t want to tear the nice wrapping paper, much less the ribbon. Crowley groans at the time it takes, tipping his head back as he sweeps a hand through his hair. The demon is on the edge of telling Aziraphale to get on with it by the time the plump man unwraps the box.

“Oh, what is this-?” Aziraphale questions with a curious blink turning the box over in his hands as he reads the information on the box itself. It’s one of those new e-readers, kindles, whatever humans enjoyed calling them. Crowley didn’t care beyond making sure it was functional for the other man.

“Well, I thought you’d like access to more books.” Crowley offers with a slow roll of his shoulders. “Wouldn’t hurt if you join the modern era, angel.”

Aziraphale pauses as his gaze flicks from the box in hand back to Crowley, “...But, this isn’t a book. Is it a way to access the internet to read books?” Aziraphale was still familiarizing himself with the concept of the internet. Crowley’s explanations had been a mixed bag of helpful and confusing in equal measure. Talk of those ‘memes’ hadn’t helped clear matters up any either.

Crowley wiggles a hand in a ‘so-so’ gesture, “In a way. It can hold books in it, you read books on there.”

Aziraphale frowns somewhat at the box, “Well, I… do appreciate the gift.” The man starts slowly, clearly trying to find a polite way to turn down the gift.

Crowley groans a little at that, he tips his head back in growing irritation. “Please don’t tell me you’re not even going to try and use it.”

“Of course I’m going to use it.” The blonde man answers with a huff, defensively clutching the box against his chest.. “I- it’s just not my usual preferences.”

Crowley could practically hear a defensive rant about how physical books were better coming from the other man, so he attempts to cut it off at the pass for now. “Try it at least.”

Aziraphale gives a slight indignant noise. “I will!”

If his wings were present, Crowley would be fairly sure they’d be a ruffled mess of displeasure. Sometimes he missed seeing the wings, purely to know he’s riled Aziraphale up properly.

-----

Somehow Crowley is not surprised when he finds Aziraphale perched on his couch squinting at the Kindle's screen. The plump man looked more than a little flummoxed as he tries to navigate to another page.

“Hnn.” Escapes the blonde man as he pokes a little at a few buttons. Then repeats the gesture uncertainly when he doesn’t get the exact results he wanted. “Gracious, just how…?”

“There is a handbook you know.” Crowley drawls, smirking at the way he makes the other man jolts in surprise where he’s seated.

Bright eyes flick upwards to focus on the demon. “Oh, Crowley, I didn’t hear you come in-” He seems ready to get up, until Crowley waves him to stay seated. The gesture is enough to keep the angel settled in his usual place on the well-loved bit of furniture. The demon settles at the end of the couch himself. He crosses one leg over the other, balancing his elbow against his knee as he eyes the other man.

“You did seem distracted.”

Aziraphale avoids his gaze for a moment awkwardly. “I’m trying to understand this… kindling.”

“Kindle.”

“Yes, that.” Aziraphale answers his gaze dropping back to the screen contemplatively. “I will admit it is… an interesting extension of books and reading.”

“More convenient.”

“I suppose.” Aziraphale sniffs in response. “I would find it more convenient if I could grasp it. There could have been much more efficient ways to set this up.” The demon gives an amused sound at the way Aziraphale’s face screws up in some mild displeasure as he jabs at the buttons.

The demon glances down at the couch cushions, unsurprised to see the manual poking out of it. He can just picture Aziraphale setting it aside after reading some of the manual to test it further for himself. He can also picture Aziraphale growing more frustrated, rolling around the couch and forgetting about the manual entirely in the process. Crowley reaches down, plucking it up and depositing the stapled bit of papers atop the kindle screen over the other man’s fingers.

Aziraphale shoots the other man a withering look, “Why, thank you.” The hint of irritated venom is almost delightful to Crowley’s ears. He enjoys spending time with Aziraphale, but irritating him can be quite entertaining itself. There was always some fun to be had with poking the seemingly peaceful bear to see what would happen.

The demon grins, peering over his sunglasses with a faint grin. “Anything for you, angel.”

Aziraphale simply sighs, loudly, disapprovingly as he plucks up the manual to flip it open and read. “Let me see…”

“Only read it for set up, eh?”

“I wanted to see just how a book would read on these screens.” Comes out more than a little defensive. Crowley chuckles at the response adjusting his sunglasses as he leans back into the couch.

“Reading the manual would’ve gotten you there faster.” The demon takes great amusement in the look he gets over the flimsy paper of the manual.

Crowley oh so kindly takes it upon himself to help Aziraphale with further set up of his kindle, chuckling lowly at the grumbling on the angel’s part.

“Really, books should be paper…” Escapes Aziraphale at least twice before he ends up back-peddling on his own opinion. “Though, humans have done quite extraordinary things, putting so many books in one place…”

The angel is a living embodiment of the debate Crowley oh so happily brought into fruition when he nudged the kindle forward into existence. Really, he barely had to do much before the in-fighting in the bibliophile community overtook anything he could have imagined. The unending strife means he’s doing his job well and with very little effort.

--

He has to admit to some delight when he comes upon Aziraphale settled upon their usual bench, Kindle in hand as he basks in a particularly sunny spot. The weather is quite lovely today, and there is no denying it is perfect weather for reading outside.

“Enjoying yourself?” He questions, trying to keep the smugness out of his voice. It’s a failure given the wary Aziraphale’s brow quirks upwards as he looks up from the e-reader in his grasp to peer at Crowley.

“I was.”

“Oh, angel, how you wound me.” He slinks to sit down next to the other man. His knee bumps up against Aziraphale’s own. The man’s free hand drifts over to stroke its way across Crowley’s knee fondly. His gaze settles back on the e-reader in his grasp.

The demon drapes an arm over Aziraphale’s shoulder, fingers drifting through the fine hairs against the back of his neck. He earns an indulgent smile for the gesture.

The two settle in a comfortable sort of silence together. It isn't their first silence, nor their last in the centuries to come.

--

“Oh, please, do tell me you’re joking.” The irritation leaking into the blonde man’s tone is more amusing than it should be given the circumstances. Crowley had only really bothered to buy the cell phone after one or two of his calls with the angel had dropped mid-conversation. Ironically on Aziraphale’s side.

Crowley simply and wordlessly waggles a box back in Aziraphale’s direction. His lips curl upwards into an amused kind of smirk. “While I do enjoy ruffling your feathers, dear. I’m perfectly serious.”

“I have a perfectly functional phone.” Aziraphale strides over to the white and gold rotary phone on his desk, lifting it up meaningfully as he held eye contact with the demon. Crowley rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“Oh, certainly. Functional, but you could do more.”

Aziraphale brings the receiver to his ear, starting to pull back the numbers, maintaining eye contact the entire time. All Crowley can do is laugh at the absurdity of the stubborn gesture. His laughter just makes Aziraphale’s eyes narrow as he finishes dialing.

Predictably, as it would be, the cellphone in the demon’s pocket rings. He fishes the device from his pocket as he arches a brow back at the other man. He answers the call without a lick of hesitation.

“Why, angel, it’s been ages since we’ve last spoken.” He drawls casually back tucking the cellphone between his ear and shoulder. “I think I might show up at your book shop, I have something for you.” He extends the still packaged cellphone out at Aziraphale. The angel glowers at the cell phone with sharp disdain.

Aziraphale opens his mouth, “No thank-” Only for the tinny sound of his voice to drop from the call entirely. His gaze snaps over to his phone, utter betrayal written across his features. “Do not prove his point!”

Crowley just presses the packaged phone in the other man’s hand wordlessly.

---

Aziraphale simply stares at the thin strange rectangle that is his cellphone, concentration pinching his features. “Games?”

“Yes, games.” Crowley wouldn’t have the patience to help anyone else with this, not given the excessive amount of confusion the man has grasping technology. Aziraphale understands the nuances of various books in his collection, name characters without a blip of hesitation, discuss the plots in far too much detail, but the idea of Candy Crush is making his head all but spin.

“You don’t have to play games, of course, they’re optional. You did say you just wanted to use it to call me.” Aziraphale wasn’t one for social calls, not without it being a direct mission from god. Though Aziraphale had taken a fond shine to that witch and her technologically challenged partner.

“No, no, now I’m curious. What kind of games?”

Crowley pinched the bridge of his nose just for a moment, only briefly contemplating disappearing into the man’s couch cushions before he formulated a proper response. “There are too many to really count, angel.” He pats around his jean pockets before producing his own phone, he flicks through a few things before opening up the marketplace for these sorts of things to show the man.

Aziraphale blinks once again, “...I see.”

“Let’s finish setting up your phone before you get over-ambitious.”

“A little ambition certainly couldn’t hurt- why, is that chess?” The man is decidedly distracted already. Crowley is about to put his phone away when Aziraphale’s hands reach out to take it and peer at the screen closely.

“Yes.” He peers at his own cellphone’s screen, “Not very good chess if the reviews are anything to go by. We’ll find you something better.”

“How many versions of chess can there be-?”

“More than you or I have the time or want to pick through.” Crowley takes his own phone back, sliding it back into his pocket. “Now let’s finish this.” He reaches out to pick up the cellphone in a white case to help finish setting it up for the other man.

Aziraphale watches him with clear interest, though it wanes as they have to put in further information. There is an occasional mutter about miracling the thing done. It is wholly tempting to remind Aziraphale that he should use miracles sparingly. Crowley barely restrains himself since he knows whatever torment he pays Aziraphale will be paid back tenfold if Aziraphale sees his chance.
Aziraphale is an angel, but he’s a right bastard. An admirable sort of bastard.

---

“I had briefly thought of getting a television, but, you do know, I enjoy the written word quite a bit more.”

Crowley gives an agreeable sound, reclined back in the faux wooden chair outside of the cafe they’ve ended up at. Aziraphale has himself quite the plate of desserts on hand, whilst Crowley has been slowly picking over his own helping of pudding for a good portion of their stay.

Neither are in a particular rush. The end of the world had come and gone, they had the time to enjoy themselves. They had the time to continue being enigmas to the Hell and Heaven mutually, which was equally as enjoyable.

“But! I discovered there is a news application on this phone!” The plump man grins widely, only drawing his phone from his pocket to motion at it. Crowley has to admire the showmanship at least even if its wholly unnecessary.

Crowley pauses as he realizes something. “...Did you get a new phone case?”

Aziraphale clearly hadn’t expected to have that come up given the surprise and embarrassment that settles over his features. He fumbles with the phone for a moment before tucking it against his chest. “Well.” He seems almost embarrassed for a moment before blustering up. “I was walking through the shops, and I saw this kiosk… It had these cases for phones.”

The demon quirks his brow in silent encouragement for the other man to continue. Not that Aziraphale needs much encouragement.

Aziraphale drops his voice, “They had literary quotes on some of them! Can you believe it!?”

“Let me see then.” He motions for Aziraphale to turn the phone around. “You can’t tell me about it and not show me.”

“Of course, of course-” The blonde man readily flips the phone around to display the quote written across the back. The quote on the back of the case nice upon first glance, but in decorative enough font its unreadable in any capacity. No matter how he looks at the words, it all looks like pretty gibberish. Crowley squints behind his sunglasses for a moment, opening his mouth and closing it. “I see.” That is a polite enough response.

Could anyone really read that? Could god herself read it? Satan? He’d have to see if someone in hell had a hand in designing this sort of thing. It feels like a bit of hell brought properly onto earth.

Aziraphale launches into some excited chatter about the meaning of the quote and how moving it was without ever actually stating the quote aloud.

Crowley just jams a spoonful of pudding into his mouth making further agreeable noises. He really should have bought a different case for Aziraphale, he could have avoided whatever this is.

---

The unmistakable sound of a cellphone being slid across a tabletop breaks Crowley from his concentration. the demon lowers the newspaper in his grasp to see Aziraphale smiling at him. He nudges the phone a little closer imploringly. “Look!”

“...Yes, that is a phone. Your phone in fact.” He answers dryly back.

“No, the screen!” Huffs the plump man, reaching out to gingerly tap at the screen, “I’ve realized recently it can take pictures!”

Crowley pauses, eyeing the semi-blurry picture of a duck seemingly charging at the angel. The criminals of the natural world, on par with their goose brethren. Neither animal fear god, nor the devil, much less an angel with bread crumbs.

“Didn’t I tell you that the first day we set it up?” He strongly remembers showing the man how to take a picture. He remembered taking a picture of a stack of books in fact.

The question is ignored in favor of Aziraphale scrolling through pictures of ducks, various other animals, and food. Before long the angel scoots his chair to be near Crowley’s to make showing the pictures much easier.

“Do you know what else I realized?” Aziraphale questioned with a brief flash of a smile as he stalls out on a picture of a goose and duck glowering at one another.

“Hm?”

“I do not have a picture of us together.” The angel pauses, “I do not count those lithographs, they’re hardly all that accurate.”

“They couldn’t quite figure the color of your eyes.” Crowley muses in turn, “Are you proposing we take a ‘selfie’?” Crowley half expects to be explaining what it means to the other man, but the way Aziraphale brightens up says he’s done some research on it himself. Crowley would feel smug if the whole thing wasn’t so endearing.

“Yes! I’d quite like that!” Aziraphale drapes an arm around Crowley’s shoulders to pull the demon closer. Crowley chuckles a little, leaning into the embrace readily as the camera is lifted up to face them. Aziraphale takes a moment to orient the camera before taking a picture after counting to three.

Even a camera apparently can’t quite get the angel’s eye color down properly. A pity.