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“What did Spock get you, anyhow?” Jim asked his husband after their guest left. “I know it was a book, but I didn't see what it was.”
“You know, I'm not sure. It's entitled 'Sentence Enhancers for More Variety in Every Day Language.' I don't know if I should be insulted,” McCoy laughed, then his smile suddenly turned sardonic as he flipped through it. “Correction, I'm definitely insulted.”
“Let me see,” Kirk held out his hand. “Oh, my god, it's a book of curse words and phrases in Standard. Guess he doesn't count your colorful metaphors as variety. He wants you to use something other than 'damn it' when you curse at him. Oh, yeah, look!”
Leonard took the book back, opened to the page Jim had found, that for some reason had caused him to start laughing hysterically. On the page was that very phrase, followed by variations. Spock had underlined 'Damn it' as well as the variation 'Damn it man' and out in the margin, in his neat block print, wrote 'Mastered.' He shook his head at his idiot husband and snapped the book closed.
“Well, good,” he announced. “When he figures out the whole regifting thing, I'll remind him he's already gotten me back.”
“I think, I think I'm gonna, throw up,” Jim gasped between heaving laughs.
“Yeah? Well don't come crying to me,” Bones quickly thumbed through the book, “fart blossom.”
“Oh god!” Jim doubled over, clutching his sides, as more laughter peeled through their quarters.
“Hell, maybe I'll send him a thank you card,” Bones mused, walking over to his desk, book in hand. “Better consult his gift for just the right way to say thank you.”
The End