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Before opening his eyes he could feel everything. Every pain, every scratch, every wound. But what really caught his attention was the vast hurt inside his chest. And that’s what pushed him to make that final leap between wakefulness and unconsciousness.
The first thing he noticed was his heartbeat followed by the bare pain of breathing. And then he finally allowed himself to make assumptions – he was inside the crater held only by his hand.
Looking up ached – but he still did it. There was a strange beauty – that he rarely allowed himself to feel – about the end. Upwards, pushing his eyes, he could see the sky and the malevolent thunder of destruction. In the back of his mind, he could hear his superego shouting the truth, demanding his attention to what was important… but he let himself feel a little more.
And that’s when his heartbeat shuddered and he remembered – the heartbeat that wasn’t only his own but now was quickly becoming one and this made him pause… and this made him gather awareness… and this made him act when the beautiful and devilish thunder stopped. He eagerly made his body gather energy and impulse his muscles and broken bones to move – MOVE GOD DAMN IT.
And when he finally got to the top – more broken than whole – finally really opened himself to the world, or the last of it, that surrounded him is that his breath hitched, eyes narrowing on the fallen figure. He could feel his body dragging itself to it… tears gathered in his eyes when he finally got her in his arms and with a whiff of her scent, with a handful of her body, is that he finally noticed that there was only his heartbeat…… and it wasn’t supposed to be like that.
Panicking he looked into her eyes, pushed her body closer to his and… and… there was no more force within her. She had became THEY, and now they had defeated the Siths and restored the balance.
At what cost?
At
What
Cost?
He hugged her body. Closed his eyes and wished. Wished that it was him in her place. Wished that his god damn blood and surname would do some kind of miracle – afterwards Skywalkers where supposed to be the God damn children of the force.
And that’s when it became clear what the path was. That’s when he knew – JUST KNEW – what he was supposed to do. He felt his lips lifting in a little smile before once again he distanced himself and placed his hand onto the location where her heartbeat was supposed to be felt.
And he just closed his eyes and wished. Wished for life, for breath, for sunrises and smiles, for laughs and friendship, for children and love. He felt his own breath slowing, his body becoming sluggish – but he kept wishing, wishing for her to live and be happy.
And when he felt her heartbeat, he opened his eyes and watched her become awake. And he smiled, smiled because for the second time in his life a wish became true. And when she kissed him, he kept smiling and he couldn't stop - because once again he could feel their hearts beating as one, could feel theirs souls unifying and gathering strength... And, after so many years in pain, he felt no more.
The kiss ended, but their connection stayed and she kept touching him - there was tranquility in his face. And she thought that it was finally going to be okay. She became they and they had won. And she felt true happiness - she belonged. Belonged to them, to it - belonged to him.
'Till she didn't.
He kept smiling even when the heartbeat duet became an aria and her screams ranged. Even when he found out that belonging and giving your everything to something was not so bad. And even when he noticed the tears in her eyes, even then, he kept smiling. And while becoming one with they, he reached for her and touched her face - her soul.
And she knew, and she listened to the declaration that was never going to be pronounced. And she cried. With happiness, with mourning. He would be with her always - till physically he wasn't. But she knew she had to keep going - for her, for him, for it, for them.
.
.
.
And when asked for her surname, she would always remember and always become. Because as he belonged to them to her, she would forever belong to them to him.
Skywalker.