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It took two minutes of staring at the thermostat before Kanan decided he could afford to turn the heat up. At the very least, he could do it for the kid’s sake. Ezra had spent too many winters freezing already.
The kid in question was on the other side of the room, sitting against the wall, his forehead resting against the edge of the window, staring out into the night. For over a week now, Kanan had seen him there every night, looking out the window, a deep, powerful sadness seeming to fill the room as he stared out into the darkness.
Kanan picked up the blanket that was bundled on the couch. Walking over to the window, he settled the blanket around Ezra’s shoulders. The kid gripped the edges of the blanket, pulling it around himself, but didn’t look away from the window.
“Aren’t you cold over here?” Kanan asked.
“A little,” Ezra said. He drew the blanket even tighter around himself. “Thanks.”
“You okay?” Kanan asked.
Ezra straightened up a little, pulling away from the window and looking down at the floor.
“I’m fine,” he said, his voice far too weak for Kanan to believe him.
“You sure?” Kanan asked.
Ezra just shrugged.
“Just tired, I guess,” he said. Kanan would have believed that if it weren’t for the fact that this was the eighth night in a row he’d found Ezra huddled up in this corner.
Kanan glanced out the window, following where Ezra's gaze had been directed. At first, he thought Ezra must have just been looking at nothing. And then he saw it. A small cluster of nine lights in the window of an apartment across the street. He hadn’t even realized Hanukkah had started, let alone that it was almost over.
Then something else caught his eye. Nine faint trails in the fog on the window, as through Ezra had dragged a finger down the glass, leaving the marks in his wake.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kanan asked.
Ezra shrugged. He pulled the blanket higher until it was practically covering his face, his shoulders shooting up toward his ears, like he was trying to hide from something.
“I just…I miss my parents,” he muttered.
It was the first time Kanan had heard the kid mention his parents, other than saying they weren’t around.
“They always – they always said we had to fight for people who were being hurt,” Ezra said. “They said we had to – to stand up to tyranny. I was too little to understand it then, but I – I do now. They knew things were getting worse for people like us, and they -"
Ezra’s chin dropped down to his chest as he pressed his hands over his mouth, muffling a sob. Kanan sat down on the floor beside him, sliding his arm around the kid’s shoulders. Ezra leaned against his side, his head resting on Kanan’s shoulder. It felt so natural that it took Kanan a moment to realize that he’d never held Ezra like this before, and in the back of his mind, he hadn’t been expecting the kid to let him do it. But Ezra remained curled up against his side like it was normal for them.
“What happened to them?” Kanan asked.
“They got arrested,” Ezra said, his voice quiet. “I don’t even know why. The cops just showed up and took them away.”
“I’m sorry,” Kanan said, his voice just as soft as the kid’s. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like, for Ezra to see his parents taken away like that.
“It was a long time ago,” Ezra said with a small shrug. “I just – sometimes I still miss them.”
Ezra abruptly pulled away, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand and clutching the blanket tightly around himself again.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have – I’m not a little kid.”
Debatable, Kanan thought, though he wasn’t about to say it.
“It’s alright,” he said. “I don’t mind.”
Ezra just shrugged once again and scooted a few inches away, keeping his gaze on the floor. Embarrassment was practically emanating from him like heat as he did everything he could to avoid Kanan’s eyes.
As Kanan stood up, he let his fingers brush against Ezra’s shoulders for a moment, the only way he could think of to comfort the kid without scaring him off.
“I know it won't fix things,” he said softly, “but next year, let’s celebrate for real.”
Ezra looked up, the ghost of a smile crossing his face as he blinked away the last of his tears.
“Yeah,” he said. “We should.”