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What If We Had Confessed

Summary:

When Talon falls, Jack find himself without direction for the first time in his life. A year later, Reinhardt cashes in on Jack's guilty conscience for his old friend. It brings him to a quiet place to find peace and comfort.

A roommate he can deal with, after all, he's done it all before...

Notes:

For the R76 Secret Santa event, I got the chance to surprise the wonderful Elennumen! I got two prompts that I decided to mash up to give a little bit of both.

Unfortunately, the story caught a case of the feels and light pining angst, and I then proceeded to fail spectacularly lol

Still, I like to think I'm somewhat withing the frames you wished for, so here goes nothing!

Merry Christmas!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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If ten years ago, you had told Jack that he would be retired and living in a countryside complex for older people with one Gabriel Reyes, Jack wouldn’t have even bothered clawing his broken and burnt body out of the wreckage that used to be Overwatch’s Zürich headquarters.

No, Jack would have rather rolled over and welcomed the flickering painful darkness.

Instead, he’d crawled out on unsteady legs and searced the ruins for his best friend, the love of his life. He had screamed his name until his voice croaked, throat raw and bloody as he took lungful after toxic lungful of the smoke surrounding him.

In the end, he was forced to retreat as the rescue vehicles finally arrived, having made their way up the mountain and through their gates. A short while after their funerals, the mercenary Reaper appeared for the public and unlike the rest of the world, Jack recognized the cloaked Talon operative at once.

Gabriel Reyes had survived, his best friend through military experiments, the omnic war and the history of Overwatch lived and had not searched for him. Had joined Talon to rage havoc on the world they had given everything to protect.

With no direction, for the first time in his life, John “Jack” Morrison disappeared without a trace, emerging as The Soldier: 76 to fight dirty.

-

Sighing deeply, Jack looked into the mirror in his tiny apartment. A scarred, wrinkled, old face looked back at him. His hair had receded considerably since that day, had turned a bright silvery-white, courtesy of the stress and strain on his body, no doubt. In the middle of his face, a fat, long slash ran from above his left eyebrow, down to the middle of his right cheek, just barely missing his right eye.

Beneath it, a smaller, but no more insignificant, slash ran from the middle of his right cheek to the top of his chin, marking his lips. Beneath his clothing, a million more scars and burns hid, out of view to the other seniors in the building complex.

The last decade had been rough on him both mentally and physically. Being on the run as a wanted man was rough, fighting the Reaper, even tougher. Money was sparsely earned, food a second thought as he made his way through Talon and Overwatch facilities on the hunt for Gabriel Reyes.

Nine years would go by before Talon fell, before the Reaper and the Soldier: 76 put aside their differences and joined forces to end Talon once and for all. A year to make it happen, a year of cold shoulders, of barely restrained fury and hurt. And when it was done and over with, the two, strong-minded and scorn by each other, parted ways.

Another year went by before the two would meet again. After the final fall of Talon, Jack had lingered for a day before leaving in the dead of night, nodding his goodbye to a disapproving Jesse as he stood by the gate, smoking a cigar as if he somehow knew what Jack would do. And maybe, to some extent, he did.

After that, he worked odd jobs here and there, walked through the entire state of California before moving on to Indiana. It was... it had been a desperate attempt at something, deep down, he knew that. But afterward, after seeing everything, he felt a new calm settle over him. It had been time.

When one day, Reinhardt had found him, Jack had been unable to deny his old friend the favor he had asked. ‘Retire, my friend. Settle down and let your old bones rest. You have done enough.’ And then he had told Jack about an old friend of his, one who had a building complex for older people who had no family.

Two weeks later, Jack got to move in. As with everyone else, he had to share the apartment with another person, another veteran the guy had told him, looking knowingly at Jack’s face. Jack held no illusion that the guy didn’t know who he was. Reinhardt and Ana had settled the details, had given Jack a time and date, and an address.

However, when they walked into the apartment, Gabriel Reyes sat in a rocking chair, knitting something or another, a smile on his face until he registered Jack. Immediately, his old friend jumped up, wildly looking for something to defend himself with under the disguise of surprise. Had it not been for Jack knowing Gabriel as well as he had, he would have missed the other man’s desperation.

“I believe the two of you already know each other,” The landlord said, smiling as he turned to face Jack, “Reinhardt said you entered military service together and served for years. He told me to keep it a surprise for the two of you, so with that, I will leave the two of you to catch up. Gabriel will give you the schedule, but in case you forget,” The guy moves over to the door to half close it, revealing a screen, “the schedule will appear each week on this screen.”

With that, he had left, none the wiser about the tension between the two men left in the room. The following days had been ridiculous. Jack had bombarded himself in his room, expecting Gabriel to shadowstep in at night and kill him in his sleep. Likewise, Gabriel had feared Jack slitting his throat while he slept.

It would take almost a week before the two supersoldiers emerged from their rooms to share space. Gabriel would sit in the corner of their living room knitting, his rocking chair moved so that his back was against the wall, a strategic move to protect himself. Jack would sit on the sofa, flicking through the tv, looking for something to watch, something that would hold his attention for more than five minutes. He would usually fail.

There was so much he found he wanted to ask Gabriel about, so much he wanted to know. During their year together, they had both ignored each other every waking moment they weren’t planning something. Every other time, they would fight until they wanted to kill each other, forcing their friends to come between them.

No questions were answered that year, no heart-to-heart happened to settle their unease, their need to know what actually happened. Jack found that with each day going by, the need to know only became stronger.

They had lived together for four months already, but they were no closer to a friendship or even friendly indifference at each other’s presence. Gabriel hated the very sound of Jack’s voice, his face growing stony cold and angry each time Jack’s gravely voice would word something aloud. In turn, Jack felt caged.

-

“They have a farming program if you want to enter that,” Ana said, lifting the teacup to her lips before taking a sip. “It would do you some good to get outside and work a little, to use your body again.”

“I don’t know, Ana. I never was much of a farmer,” To which Gabriel snorted where he sat in his corner, refusing to join them.

“What Gabriel meant to say,” Ana glares daggers at him, “Is that a little fresh air would do you good, Jack.”

That was how his second nightmare started. As if his life wasn’t already a messy chaos, his PTSD decided that the moment to cripple him would be brilliant a week into the outdoors program. They had been walking in the forest earlier, stopping by a pond to have lunch before walking back.

Jack had decided to do some gardening, something he’d found would calm him before dinner was called in the dining room. From their living room, Jack had a perfect view of the gardens and the flowerbeds that just so happened to be empty.

He’d been working on his flowers for the better part of an hour when something had gently fallen from somewhere and touched his shoulder. Jack’s entire world had gone black. His breathing came hard, his heart raced and by the time he came to, the sun had set, making way for the bright stars twinkling down at him.

Walking back to his apartment, Jack was surprised to see Gabriel still up. His face held a new emotion Jack couldn’t quite place. It reminded him of worry, but this was Gabriel Reyes, the two did not hold emotions of worry for each other.

“Reyes,” Jack grounds out courtly before heading straight for his bedroom, leaving the other man to stand by the window alone.

The following days had been just as painful, his nerves shot to pieces by the smallest sound until he worried something horrible would happen before even walking out of the apartment. When he dragged his tired body out on Sunday morning two weeks later, it was only to be greeted by flowers in the windowsill.

“What’s this?” Jack asks, frowning.

“Those are my flowers,” Gabriel growls out, anger dripping from every word.

Jack shoots his hands up in surrender as he walks over to have a closer look at them. They’re all dying, which comes as no surprise to him. Gabriel had been poor at best when it came to taking care of plants.

“Here, eat.” Gabriel grunts, smashing a plate down on their dinner table before taking a seat himself.

The... substance on the plate imitating food looks awful, but then, Jack is not stupid enough to say anything about it. He half expects the food to be poisoned or at the least, taste awful when he takes the first bite, but to his surprise, rich flavors explode on his tongue and before he knows it, his plate is cleared.

Looking up only presents him with a gaping Gabriel, his own food-filled spoon halted halfway to his mouth. Putting the spoon down, Gabriel stood up from the table and walked over to the kitchen, emerging with the whole casserole of whatever it was they were eating, setting it down on the table between them. Then he sat down and started eating his own food, raising a brow when Jack just looked at the food longingly, stomach growling.

When the two of them have managed to clear the entire casserole, Jack feels full and grounded for the first time in so long, he can’t even remember. The feeling is heady, making him relaxed and at ease. He clears the table and does the dishes, shooing Gabriel away when he comes to help dry the dishes.

When the skies are draped by a dark blue, glittering cape, the two of them sit each corner of the living room, doing their own thing. Gabriel is knitting, a pair of glasses, that makes him oddly attractive, perched on his nose as he works, a standing lamp by his side, illuminating the knitting needles in a warm glow.

Jack’s having trouble reading the book he picked up from the bookshelf. It’s one he’s read many times before, a book gifted to him by Gabriel many, many years previously. It had prided his bookshelf in his Strike Commander office for decades, keeping him company whenever he had the rare time to spare.

In the low light of their living room though, Jack had trouble seeing the words written. It left him with enough time to study Gabriel as the other man did his own thing. Looking around the apartment, there was no proof of his knitting products, making Jack curious where the items ended up once Gabriel was finished with them.

He also noted how the space looked unlived in. The landlord had told him that his roommate had moved in two months before him, so that gave Gabriel six months to decorate the space he occupied day in and day out. Still, the older man had opted to not add any personal touches. Was he not expecting to stay long?

The thought made him nervous, which in turn made him feel uneasy about having feelings about the chance of Gabriel just up and leaving one day.

“You need glasses,” Gabriel hums from the other side of the room, not looking up from his knitting.

“I don’t,” Jack grumps back, feeling insulted even though he know Gabriel is right.

“Suit yourself,” Gabriel replies indifferently, which just annoys Jack even more.

But of course, Gabriel knows this. They’ve played this game since the beginning of their friendship, one part refusing to acknowledge something, the other letting them, just to see them fail and pick up the broken pieces once they do. Some lessons were just hard learned.

So the days went by much the same, Gabriel making them dinner, Jack doing the dishes, ending with the two of them doing their own thing before going to bed on opposite sides of the apartment.

Jack tried to walk outside again, tried to do some gardening or joining the others on forest walks like he had the first few months, but he never made it further than the front door. It was a ridiculous fear, he knew that, but it was fear nonetheless. One that stuck to the very core of his being.

“I’m going into town tomorrow,” Gabriel says one night before they go to bed.

Jack’s full and relaxed from the dinner earlier, a little annoyed by not seeing the words in the new book he’s been trying to read for a week, so when Gabriel gathers his knitting back into his basket, Jack jumps a little at the sound of his voice.

“I don’t think that -”

“I’m going to get some heavy things and I don’t think I’ll be able to carry it all,” Gabriel interrupts, fixing Jack with one of his famous Reyes looks that bears no denying.

“When?” Jack sighs in defeat.

“The minibus leaves at nine,”

“Okay,” He really doesn’t want to. Their fragile truce would easily be broken by Jack potentially making a scene out and about tomorrow, but hadn’t Gabriel been putting up with his shit the last few months? Jack owed him something in return.

Nodding, Gabriel quietly goes to bed, closing his bedroom door behind him with a soft click. Jack is left sitting on the sofa, just listening to Gabriel’s bedtime routine. It has him picturing what life would have been like if he had worked up the nerve to tell Gabriel how he felt all those years ago.

Maybe everything would have been different, maybe nothing would have and the events would have burned that much brighter because of it. Thinking back on the past never lead anywhere but to a deeper misery, Ana had told him once, and as he sits there, listening to Gabriel crawling into bed, he couldn’t help but agree with her.

“Goodnight, Gabe...” He whispers to the closed door as he shuts off the lights and enters his own bedroom, on the other side from Gabriel, alone...
-

“What the fuck did you do, Reyes?!” Jack growls harshly as he’s pulled, very unwillingly he might add, into the ophthalmologist’s office.

“Shut up, Jack. We’re doing this.” Gabriel growls right back at him.

It results in the most embarrassing hour of his entire life. His eyes are poked and prodded every which way, the guy nearly blinding him more than once before he’s finally done. By the end of it, he’s prescribed glasses which so happens to magically be in store once they’ve entered the shop.

He’s livid by the time they meet up with the others at the pick-up place, hands full of crap he’s seconds away from throwing at Gabriel in a fit on humiliated rage. When they eventually get back home, Jack storms into his room like a hormonal teenager and slams the door closed with such force the walls rattle long seconds after the fact.

He stews inside his bedroom for hours afterward, listening to Gabriel pottering around the apartment, putting together the standing lamp he’d bought for Jack, placing the new casseroles and utensils in the sink before cleaning them. By the time the living room grows silent, Jack’s anger has simmered down to sheer humiliation.

No one had taken care of him since - since then. No one had willingly helped him without expecting something in return which brought Jack to fend for himself while on his journey. He knew immediately that that was a lie though. For years, Ana had helped him, had come to his rescue more than once. It didn’t sit right with him to forget that. Not that he ever could.

Absentmindedly, Jack rubs the cratered holes in his side. Angela had helped too. Winston, Tracer, that music kid who always smiled. In the end, he could have had as much help as he needed, if only he would have met them halfway. It took Sombra and Jesse to bind them all together again, to bring them all into the same room to work together against Talon.

Humility wasn’t something Jack was familiar with anymore. God knows he’d spent his Strike Commander career licking boots and smiling for the galleries, but that was a long time ago. That guy died in the burning rubble of Zürich.

Jack had to meet Gabriel halfway if they wanted this friendship to work. At the barest minimum, they would have to make it as roommates. Jack owed him that much. Sighing deeply, Jack already dreaded the morning.

Bright and early, Jack’s eyes shot up at the movement in the living room. Looking at the clock, the digital red lines told him it was still early morning. The two of them had always been early birds, courtesy of the military all those years. It was as much a part of them as the blood running through their veins. Jack waited for Gabriel to go back into his bedroom, to brush his teeth and do whatever else he did as part of his morning routine, before getting up and quietly moving to the kitchen.

Rummaging their fridge for food, Jack eventually decided on a simple egg and bacon breakfast on toasted bread. It would have to do as an apology. He’d never been much of a cook, his skills in the kitchen having left him at baking, but how hard could it be, right?

Turns out, it really could be hard.

The last time Jack had made eggs and bacon was before everything went to shit. Gabriel and he had pulled an allnighter writing reports and whatnot after the whole scandal in Rome. As much of a clusterfuck that had been, they were still on good terms and as Gabriel slept on the chair in Jack’s living room, Jack had decided to wake his best friend with a breakfast worthy of kings.

A breakfast worthy of kings turned out to be eggs and bacon though, Jack’s fridge basically empty except for a few food items Jack actually knew how to cook. He had cursed up a storm as he shredded potatoes to make hash browns. Of course, the black bricks that came out of the frying pan was anything but edible. Gabriel had joked about the murder attempt, for months, to anyone that would listen.

“Trying to kill me again?” Gabriel’s deep voice questioned softly from over his shoulder, making him jump in surprise as he twisted around.

“Fuck, Gabe! You scared the living shit out of me,” Jack whines, honest to god whines, as he watches Gabriel snag a slice of bacon.

“So I’m Gabe again, now?” Gabriel questions with a raised brow as he leans his hip onto the countertop, popping the rest of the bacon into his mouth.

Jack just growls. He’d been surprised, caught off guard. He hadn’t meant to call Gabriel by his old nickname, didn’t know if he was still allowed to use it. The pleased way Gabriel looked at him now didn’t give him the impression that he’d stab him for the slip up later. But then again, what did Jack know. They’d been best friends for a lifetime before Gabriel joined Talon and fucked them all over.

“What now?” Gabriel sighs, the playfulness on his face slipping.

“What do you mean?”

“Your face went from surprised idiot to furrowed brown and disdain in point two seconds flat.” Gabriel crosses his arms over his massive chest, making the pectorals pop enticingly along with his bulging biceps and where was this coming from all of a sudden?

Jack could feel the blush creeping down his face and over his chest before he was able to turn around. Fuck it all, he would gladly take a shot to the back again, that let Gabriel see his blushing face.

“It’s nothing,” He grunts out instead.

A second later, he knows it’s the wrong thing to say.

“Fuck it, Jack. What is your deal?” Gabriel all but roars, “One second you blow hot and the next your cold as fucking tits!”

Gabriel stomps out of their kitchen nook, angry swearing following him as he disappears. This was so not what Jack had in mind when he decided to cook breakfast for him. Closing his eyes, Jack leaned on the counter and banged his forehead against the cupboards. This was not how it was supposed to go.

Falling down to a squat with hands fisting his thin white hair, Jack sank into his own head once more, never noticing the frying bacon turning black, the smoke that followed of the blaring alarm. He didn’t notice anything before strong arms picked him up from the floor and leaned his head on a strong shoulder. When Jack eventually emerged, he lay nestled against Gabriel’s chest, between his thighs, the older man’s strong arms wound tightly around him as he hummed on a song only he knew the words to.

People were working in the living room, voices as footsteps going back and forth, the sound of hard work ringing through the apartment. Something had happened, something that sent him into yet another blackout, but for right now, Gabriel was there beneath him, around him, and Jack felt safe for the first time in over a decade.

“Jackie,” Gabriel called into his thinning hair a few moments later.

“Mmh?” Jack hummed, half regretting that Gabriel would let go of him now that he was back to himself.

“Are you alright?” The question is so soft that it almost scapes Jack’s notice.

“I don’t know,” Jack answers honestly, “Gabe, I-I think something’s wrong.”

“I know,” Gabe hums, his warm breath ghosting through Jack’s hair, making him close his eyes and snuggle into Gabe’s chest again.

“I don’t know what to do,” Jack whispers, and for once, the words don’t escape him as he reveals everything for his former best friend.

By the time he’s finished, Gabe’s shirt is wet and they’re alone in the apartment. Strong arms are still wound tightly around him, Gabriel having gathered him up to rest more snugly against him. He’s slowly stroking a hand up and down Jack’s spine, the repetitive motion calming. There’s only one more secret between them, one more thing, the only thing he will take to his grave with him.

“We’ll find a way, Jackie, I’ll make sure we find a way,” Gabriel promises and if Jack still believes anything, he believes in Gabriel’s promises.

-

It’s once more early morning when Jack wakes up. He’s still laying on Gabriel’s chest, the older man snoring lightly, arms still tightly wound around Jack’s frame. He will be in so much pain when he wakes up, Jack thinks, before closing his eyes again.

Gabriel’s heartbeat is strong and steady beneath his ear, the rhythm calming and secure to Jack. He has little recollection of what happened the day before, all he know is that when he needed him the most, Gabriel was there for him.

“Stop thinking, Jackie,” Gabriel mumbles, turning them both around without letting go.

The motion sends Jack on his side, face still squeezed tightly to Gabriel’s chest, as Gabriel swings a heavy leg over Jack’s hips. The position is so intimate, one for lovers and not reserved for past friends like they are.

“What’re - what are you doing?” Jack whispers into Gabriel’s chest, not daring to move.

“I’m cuddling you, genius,” Gabriel breathes into Jack’s hair, the motion sending a shiver down Jack’s spine.

“W-why?” the question is barely audible, but of course, Gabriel hears it.

“Would you rather I didn’t?” He asks back, an insecure tone entering his voice and immediately, Jack regrets it.

“No,” Jack almost begs, the reply coming too soon, “N-no. It’s - it’s nice, Gabe. You’re warm,” It’s a sorry excuse, but one no less true.

“Hmpf, I’m warm, huh?” Gabriel hums, the vibrations rocking through Jack’s head.

Long minutes go by before Gabriel speaks again, this time with a bit of urgency.

“Alright, I’m an old man, Jackie, I need to go,” And with that, Jack’s rolled all the way on his side, Gabriel pausing to look down at him before moving off to the bathroom.

Curling up, Jack hugs the bedding where Gabriel had slept, turning his face into his pillow to smell the other man better. Gabe still smelled amazing, smelled like home, like security, like - like his. Only, Gabriel wasn’t his, was he. Life really was a cruel mistress Jack thought as he rolled around and out of bed.

Walking into the living room, Jack was met with a new kitchen. Given, it was the same kitchen as the one he had apparently destroyed enough to have replaced the day before, but all in all, it was a new kitchen.

“It wasn’t so bad, Jackie,” Gabriel reassures as he enters the kitchen, preparing to make them dinner. “It needed remodeling anyway, so they fixed it all up again yesterday.”

It didn’t make Jack feel any better though. Just what had happened yesterday to send him into another blackout. Like this, he was a liability, a danger to - he was a danger to Gabriel. The realization of this hurt like a punch to the gut, bringing tears to Jack’s eyes.

“No. Nonono no-no. Absolutely not,” Gabriel gesticulates wildly in the kitchen, pulling Jack out of his head, “Whatever conclusion you just came to, forget it. It’s not happening. You’re wrong. Hell no. Whichever fits the answer to your question.”

“You don’t know what I’ll do next or when I’ll do it, Gabe.” Jack pleads, and oh, the beautiful brown eyes staring back into his looks so pained.

“I don’t care. I’m done running, Jackie. Whatever this is, we’ll fight it together, as a team.” Gabriel pushes, hope all but beaming out of his body.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jack whispers and then the dam breaks.

When the first tear roll down his cheek, Jack doesn’t know what to do. He can’t remember the last time he felt as helpless as this. Maybe he’s never been, or maybe he just doesn’t remember how it felt. In any way, he never wanted to feel this scared ever again.

Gabriel is right there before the second tear falls, cradling Jack up in his arms and holds onto him as if he’s the most precious thing in Gabriel’s world. Soft shushing noises are breathed into his hair as Gabriel rocks them, his big hand rubbing up and down his spine, comforting, reassuring Jack that he’s not alone.

He doesn’t know how they ended up like this, where this sudden kindness towards each other comes from, but if he was being honest with himself, he wanted this forever. Clutching onto Gabriel’s massive frame, Jack buried his face into the crook of Gabriel’s neck a breathed in. The scent of his best friend has always calmed him down when he needed it the most.

“There you go, Jackie,” Gabriel whispers softly, a big hand rubbing the back of Jack’s head soothingly.

“How about some real breakfast and you can start reading that book of yours? I assembled the standing lamp yesterday, and I trust you still have your glasses somewhere, right?” Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him, fully prepared for Jack to say no.

Instead, Jack just nods and goes to get his glasses from his bedroom. He’s feeling almost too self-conscious when he puts them on, but he can’t deny that he’s actually relieved to see the letters written in the book when he opens them.

Looking up, Jack notices that Gabriel has this sweet little smile on his face as he cooks them breakfast. It makes something inside Jack’s chest fluter and he’s unable to hide a soft smile of his own.

“What is it?” Gabriel hums from the kitchen, and of course, he knows Jack was looking.

“Just looking,” Jack hums back, leaning back on the sofa.

“I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing, Jackie,” Gabriel turns around and had to bite his tongue, because god, Gabriel is beautiful.

As the years went by, Gabriel ages like fine wine. His dark brown, almost black hair, was now peppered with silvery strands, making him look distinguished. His neatly groomed beard, still the same old shape, held the same light streaks. He wore more wrinkles than Jack remembered, and his chest, still massive and strong, sat heavier on his body.

He looked ripe, for a lack of a better word. The kind of man that Jack had fantasized about whenever he would let his daydreams take him far-far away to a place where he and Gabriel loved each other and lived happily ever after. It was somewhat of a comfort to see that he’d grown into the very man Jack had imagined him as.

They ate breakfast in relative silence, occasionally interrupted by small talk of this and that. Later, Jack did the dishes and then sat down in their own corners to knit and read.

“How would you feel about getting a chessboard again?” Gabriel asks one day a few months later.

Fall has touched the beautiful green of the landscape outside, bathing it in bright colors as the autumn winds make them dance in circles. It’s beautiful and even though he’ll miss Gabriel taking him outside to garden, they now have a pretty good collection of flowers inside their apartment.

“I think that would be good, Gabe.” Jack hums pleasantly, “Any board in mind?”

“I kind of did like the one we had before,” Gabe admits and it has Jack laughing loudly.

“Might that be because you always won?” Jack grins at Gabriel’s affronted look.

“A chessboard has nothing to do with winning or losing, Jack. It’s not my fault that you’re a shitty strategian.” Gabriel huffs, and oh, Jack has really missed this.

“We could get a sewing machine and some fabrics too, could make you that workshop room you always dre-” Jack stops himself, but it’s already too late.

Gabriel looks at him with an expression Jack has never seen before, or he has it’s just been so many years since the last time, that he’d almost forgotten. He never did learn what it meant though.

“I mean, the bedrooms are big enough to have a little desk by the window. I remember how you loved making costumes and well, Halloween is almost upon us. Thought you might have enjoyed that.” Jack gives as a semi-truth, when in fact, he had just forgotten that they weren’t sharing a bedroom, that they weren’t a couple, that this, wasn’t love between them.

“I would have liked that. It’s been so many years though, I don’t know if I still have it in me.” Gabriel hums, more so to himself than to Jack it seems.

Jack had already made up his mind though. Come hell or high waters, he would give Gabriel his workshop space one way or another. In a few months, Christmas would be right around the corner and the fun Gabriel would have if he could make costumes again was just too good to give up on. He owed him this.

Jack might have never had the strategic brilliance that Gabriel was blessed with, but what he lacked, he more than made up for in sheer cheeky guts. When October 2st rolled around, he had managed to sneak in a whole workshop into his own bedroom, changing his queen-sized bed for a single and opted out for a small dresser instead of the wardrobe the room had come with.

In turn for his sacrifices, the room was big enough to make Gabriel’s dream come true. Fabrics lined the walls, buttons, zippers, stuff Jack had no idea what even was. Everything Gabriel might have a use for. The task hadn’t been easy, what with Gabriel almost always being at home, but Jack had managed it just in time.

Three weeks ago, Gabriel had and he had come home with another rocking chair and two small tea tables. They still didn’t have a chessboard at the time, but soon, they would be playing once more.

“Now, don’t get all emotional on me,” Gabriel had said one afternoon before giving him a slim, square box. “It’s a little banged up, a little worse for wear, but I think it’ll still work.”

Jack had immediately recognized it as a chessboard, but that hadn’t been what had surprised him a short few seconds later. Unwrapping the box, Jack was met with a sight he knew all too well. It was, as Gabriel had said a little banged up and worse for wear, but when Jack opened the box, he was unable to hide the gasp that escaped him.

Putting the bumped and scraped board on the table between them, Jack ran his hand over the names engraved on each side. G. Reyes and J. Morrison prised the black and white square board. The pieces were all there too, some missing a part of two, but they were all there.

Jack had looked up at Gabriel through blurry eyes before putting his head in his hands and sobbed once, twice before Gabriel kneeled down before him and hugged him tightly, whispering soft encouragements as Jack sobbed.

“Fucking black king took me ages to find,” Gabriel mumbled and for some reason, Jack thought that it might have had a double meaning.

They had, with their photographic memory, decided to pick up the game where they had left it off. The game had been years in the making when Overwatch fell, but it felt good to pick up the broken pieces of what was to mend them once and for all. Three weeks later, they were only one move in when it was time for Jack’s surprise.

It didn’t go as he first expected.

Gabriel had been furious, calling him all sorts of things Jack still pretended not to understand, if only to give Gabriel the satisfaction of knowing something Jack did not. Gabriel had always been that way, haded surprises, loved being the surpriser.

To him, it was humiliating that Jack had managed to do all of this behind his back, without him knowing. Jack had expected that much, what he didn’t expect however was to go to bed the following night and find his single bed and small dresser gone from the room.

What he had definitely not expected, was for Gabriel to steer him into his bedroom where the bed was made for two and given the opposite side from where Gabriel liked to sleep.

“We’ve slept together for years before, it’s nothing we cant do again. Besides, I have a California king-size,” Gabriel had grinned before pushing Jack backward and entered the bed on the other side.

It had been the weirdest night Jack could remember to date and the most inconvenient and embarrassing morning as he found himself snuggled close to Gabriel’s chest, said man’s thigh pushed between his own, with a raging erection pressed firmly into the dip of Gabriel’s generous hips.

Many mornings like that followed since, the worst of them the day after the Halloween party they had been invited to. Gabriel had managed to produce the best costumes in only a month, winning them the first price at the party. They had had so much fun with old and new friends and maybe, just maybe, slightly more to drink than their supersoldier bodies could manage.

They had gone to bed in Jack’s old quarters in Gibraltar and woken up, entangled in each other, raging erections dueling for victory, butt naked. Gabriel had laughed it away, and if it hadn’t been for the blush on his cheeks, Jack would have believed Gabriel’s nonchalance attitude about the situation.

Maybe Gabriel wasn’t as unaffected as he pretended to be, and maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that Gabriel would one day come to like Jack enough to want to be with him. The thought made him chuckle loudly.

“And what are we laughing at now?” Gabriel asks, looking up from the hideous green and white thing he’s knitting.

They’re sitting side by side in their rocking chairs, facing the window. Snow is slowly falling in the night darkness outside, softly coating the already solid white ground. Jack’s been daydreaming as he pretended to read a new book, every now and then, looking over to watch Gabriel knit.

“Nothing,” Jack replies, as usual, smiling sadly at Gabriel before looking out the window again.

This seems to be their routine, Jack daydreaming and eventually chuckling over his wishful thinking, and Gabriel asking what’s so funny this time. It’s their little good-natured tug of war, a way to try to get closer to each other without actually going anywhere.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed early today,” Jack puts down his book and places his glasses down into its cover again. “Goodnight, Gabe.” He smiles but doesn’t wait for a reply.

Tomorrow marks Christmas Eve and almost a year of living together with Gabriel, a year of slowly mending and building their friendship to something resembling what they had before. It was also a slow and devastating torture on Jack’s poor heart.

Jack pretended to be asleep a few hours later when Gabriel crawled into bed, not at all surprised when Gabriel cuddles close, gathering Jack up into his arms and sighs long and deep into the back of his neck.

“Why are you so sad, Jackie?” Gabriel whispers and the question takes him by such surprise that it leaves Jack speechless for long moments.

He doesn’t know if he has the strength to lie when Gabriel is so soft like this, doesn’t know if he can bear it to lay his soul bare, only to see the peace he now has with Gabriel go up in flames. To be denied to see his best friend, the love of his life, ever again. Yet, Jack is so tired, he’s so incredibly tired.

“I-I dream of this, Gabriel,” He croaks out, gravely voice unsteady and cracking as he closes his eyes, imagining, dreaming of this, just a few more minutes.

“I daydream about us every day, just like this,” He continues, grateful for Gabriel’s silence behind him.

“When I- I’ve been picturing us together forever, Gabe and I don’t think I can take this much longer. It’s not fair for either one of us.” Jack swallows a sob as he lets his tears fall freely.

“I just...-” But he’s unable to finish the sentence.

“You just what, Jack?” Gabriel asks so softly as he gently rolls Jack over on his back, his warm breath ghosting over Jack’s wet lips as he speaks. Jack is quiet for long moments, just letting the emotional turmoil run down his cheeks in the form of tears.

“I just l-love you so much,” He finally manages to croak out, half expecting Gabriel to jump away in disgust.

“Look at me, Jackie,” Gabriel whispers, but Jack doesn’t dare, childishly screwing his eyes shut to avoid the unavoidable.

“John, look at me, please,” It’s been so long since Gabriel had called him John, the urgency and seriousness of the name forcing Jack to open his eyes at Gabriel’s command.

“Say it one more time,” Gabriel asks and Jack’s heart jumps painfully.

“Gabe -” Jack starts.

“Please, Jackie, say it one more time while I can see your beautiful blue eyes.”

“I-I love you,” Jack whispers, eyes slowly falling shut once more as his heart pounds away in his chest.

“You have no idea how many decades I’ve waited to hear you say that,” Gabriel whispers back, hand gently turning Jack’s face to his direction.

Then Gentle lips meet his and Jack loses the explosive train of thoughts that were seconds away from being released. Gabriel’s lips feels like coming home for the first time in his life. The way he kisses would have Jack crumble to his knees if he wasn’t already laying down.

Moaning, Jack kisses back with as much urgency as he feels, but Gabriel forces him to go slow. They’re slothed together, Jack on his back with Gabriel above him. The heavy weight of his best friend is the grounding he needs to slow things down, to savor the moment, just in case this just a fluke.

“I’m sorry I never noticed you felt like this,” Gabriel whispers once they break apart for air. “I thought you knew, thought... You were never very sexual when we were friends, and I accepted that, so I didn’t notice that you weren’t on board.”

The confusion must be obvious on Jack’s face as it has Gabriel smiling fondly, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on Jack’s lips before pulling back a little.

“I thought we were already in a relationship, Jackie. I thought - but I was wrong. I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way, Jack I love you so much and when you finally showed some interest in me, I took what you gave with everything I had. I guess communication is still a thing we need to work on, huh?” Gabriel smiles, big hand softly caressing Jack’s tearstained face.

There’s still so much they need to work out in the morning but for right now, it’s enough to know that Gabriel loves him too. In the morning, they will open each other’s gifts, Jack an ugly green and white sweater, Gabriel a few more additions to his workshop room. Side by side in their rocking chairs, they will drink their morning coffee and watch the snow fall. And when the night is draped with glittering stars once more, they will fall into each other’s arms once more with an echoing ‘I love you’ on their lips.

 

~ The End.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed the journey!