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"Feliz Navidad, schastlivogo Rozhdestva, Nollaig Shona, Merry Christmas" -From Mallorie, Karen, Vlad and Derrick
December had finally come to Liberty City and with it came snow. The pond in Outlook Park had finally frozen over, so Mallorie and some of the gang went skating one Saturday afternoon.
"The U.L. Paper is having their Christmas party at the pond in Middle Park this year," Karen said as she skated. "I bet I could go if I had a date."
Mallorie closed her eyes and skated around the pond, but her peace was disturbed by a gruff Russian voice skating past her.
"Hiiii Mallorieeee!"
"Ew! Go away, Vlad!"
Karen skated up to Dimitri, who was playing hockey with Mikhail and the Petrovics.
"Oh, Dimitriiii! Want to be my date for the U.L. Christmas party this year?" Karen batted her eyelashes.
"Forget it! Not only would I be turning myself in, but we Russians would be caught dead at an American Christmas party!" He skated past her.
"And a Merry Christmas to you too!" Karen sneered.
At the McReary household, Kate was reading a book on the couch when she noticed Derrick putting on his coat, hat and gloves.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"Santa Claus is at the mall. I need to tell him what I want this year!"
Kate smiled, rolled her eyes and shook her head. Derrick took the subway to the mall in Dukes and found Faustin and Vlad. Vlad was dressed as Santa outside, ringing a bell and asking for donations with Faustin dressed as an elf. Derrick approached Vlad angrily.
"Hey Claus! Remember me? I'm Derrick McReary. Last year for Christmas, I wanted a pair of those cool new Eris black and white tennis shoes! I didn't get them! I guess you forgot, huh? You forgot to tell your elves to order them, huh?"
Vlad shouted at him in angry Russian and Derrick went home, stunned.
"How'd it go?" Kate asked.
"We really didn't talk much. Language barrier. I guess they don't speak English at the North Pole."
Niko and Roman walked past the mall as Vlad was playing a violin.
"I don't know about you, Niko, but to me, the prelude from Carmen doesn't sound too Christmassy..." Roman mused.
Vlad heard him and started to play Joy to the World as Faustin whistled along.
"Dear Santa Claus..." -From Packie, Niko and Roman
Niko sat down at the dining room table in the Middle Park East apartment to write his letter to Santa.
Dear Santa Claus,
How are you? How was your year this year? Please do not think I am writing you because I deserve presents. I haven't killed as many people this year, but I still do not deserve any presents.
At that moment, Roman walked over to watch his cousin write.
I do not really even want anything for Christmas. Feel free to skip our apartment this year.
Roman's jaw dropped in horror and he looked angrily at his cousin. Without saying anything and keeping his eyes on Niko, he took the paper and ripped it in half and walked away without a word. Niko stared after him.
Meanwhile in Dukes, Packie was sitting down to write his letter too.
Dear Santa Claus,
I've always wanted to ask you: what make and model is your sleigh? How many cylinders is the engine? Does it have an e-brake? Have you filled it up with gas yet or do you usually do that on Christmas Eve?
Packie looked up.
"Nah, that's lame," he tossed the paper away and tried again.
Dear Santa Claus,
How was your summer? How big are Mrs. Claus' boobs? I don't know what I want for Christmas this year. Do you have any guns at the North Pole? What kind? Any machine guns? Can I have some?
"Joy to the World" -From Karen and Kate
Karen ran into Niko in Broker. "Merry Christmas, Niko! I know I lied to you and everything, but this time of the year, I think we should put aside our differences and be kind," she smiled.
"Why does it only have to be this time of year?"
"Calm down, I'm not a fundamentalist or anything," she walked away, making Niko roll his eyes.
Back at the McReary's, Kate had asked Packie to help her write her letter to Santa. The brother and sister sat at the kitchen table, Packie ready to write.
"Ready?" Kate asked.
"Ready."
"Dear Santa Claus...no, no, wait...Dear Mr. C...no, no, wait...Dear C!"
Packie looked at her. "What are you, gangster?"
"Just write it!"
Packie sighed and kept writing.
"Dear C," Kate kept dictating. "I have been perfect all year..."
Packie looked at his sister again. "Perfect??"
Kate scowled at him and went upstairs and grabbed one of his pistols and came back downstairs and pointed it at him. Packie ran away.
"Gerry!" Kate called. "come help me write my letter to Santa!"
When she got no answer, Kate wrote it herself. Later on, Packie and Gerry were watching football when Kate came up to them with her Christmas list.
"Hey, do you guys want to see what I want for Christmas?"
Packie and Gerry looked at each other, terrified. "Uhhhh...no."
"Then how will you know what I want?"
"Uhh...Gerald, help me out here."
"Kate, our present to you is gonna be a complete surprise this year!" Gerry smiled nervously.
"Awwww, you guys are so sweet!" Her phone went off with a text. "Oh, I'm going out with Niko. See you guys later!"
She left and Packie and Gerry snickered and high fived.
Niko was waiting outside of Comrade's Bar for Vlad, who had a hit for him to carry out. Roman was on his way back to the apartment when he spotted his cousin and ran across the street with a piece of paper and a pen.
"I have a deda Mraz letter for you to write, cousinnnn!" He beamed and said in a singsong voice.
"I'm a little busy right now, Roman," Niko said, eyeing the street.
His cousin ignored him and gave him the paper and pen.
"Ready?" The older Bellic cleared his throat. "Dear Santa Claus: how are you? Did you have a nice summer? I have not gambled all year."
"Really?" Niko stopped writing and looked at him.
"Just write! I have not gambled all year. Therefore, I think I deserve presents this year. Here is an extra long list of what I want. Please note that most of it is money, which is really what I want anyway, preferably 50s or 100s."
"50s or 100s??" Niko cried incredulously. At that moment, Vlad pulled up and barked at him to get in and he left Roman standing there, pen and paper in hand.
"Doesn't everyone want money for Christmas?"
Niko and Roman came home to the Middle Park East apartment one snowy day. Niko sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Roman seemed more focused on continuing their conversation from earlier.
"You HAVE to give me a Christmas present! It says so in the Bible!"
Niko rolled his eyes. "Roman, you don't even go to church and now you're gonna try and guilt-trip me with religion?"
"Tetka Milica used to guilt-trip us with religion all the time!"
Niko sighed. "Okay, I will make you a deal. If you can find the word 'cousin' in the Bible, I will get you a Christmas present."
Roman nodded, determined, and found his old Bible and went in his room to read it. A few hours later, Niko heard an "A-HA!" from Roman's room. A few seconds later, the older Bellic came running out.
"Niko! Niko! I did it! I found the word 'cousin' in the Bible!"
"No you didn't. Where?"
Roman showed him. "See? Leviticus Chapter 25, verse 49. 'His uncle or cousin may redeem him, or any of his close relatives from his clan may redeem him. If he prospers, he may redeem himself.' See? You have to redeem yourself, Niko for all the killing you've done and buy me a Christmas present! The Bible said so!"
Niko just rolled his eyes.
"Merry Christmas, Kate" -From Niko
Niko sat at the kitchen table in the Middle Park East apartment tapping his jaw with a pencil when Roman got home.
"Roman, can you help me?"
"Sure, cousin, what's up?" The older Bellic came over.
"I want to write a Christmas card to Kate."
Roman smiled. "Draw a snowman and a female snowman falling in love with hearts everywhere! Then write something romantic."
Niko smiled and got to work. Once finished, he handed it to Roman. "How does it look?"
The older Bellic took the card and opened it and looked at it, horrified.
"Merry Christmas from your Serbian stallion???"
Niko turned beet red. "Is um...what she calls me..."
"The True Meaning of Christmas" -From Packie and the GTA IV Gang
Snow had finally come to Liberty City. Niko and Roman walked through the Triangle. Roman was enjoying the snow. Niko, not so much.
"I do not get it, Roman. Despite all the bad things that happened to us in the Old Country, I loved Christmas. I loved snow, I loved singing Christmas carols, I even loved going to Christmas Eve mass with Mama. But here in America, I do not have any Christmas spirit. Is something wrong with me? What is wrong with me, cousin?"
Roman stopped and turned to look at him. "Niko, you are the only person I know who can take a beautiful holiday like Christmas and make it miserable! Of all the Nikos in the world, you're the Niko-est!" He walked away.
Niko sat in a booth at Comrades waiting for Dimitri, Vlad and Faustin, who had called him there to ask him to do something "very important." Niko figured it was another hit. Eventually, the three Russians showed up and sat across from him.
"Hi Niko!" Faustin smiled.
Niko jumped. "Why are you guys being so nice to me?"
"We're doing something different at Perestroika this year!" Vlad said.
"We're ditching the usual acts and coming up with something that emphasizes community involvement," Dimitri nodded proudly.
"Okay, so...what is it?"
"A Christmas pageant!"
"A...Christmas pageant?" Niko raised an eyebrow.
"Sure! Americans love them!" Vlad said.
"And we want YOU to direct!" Faustin smiled.
"Me??? I do not know anything about directing plays!"
"Is simple, Niko Bellic. We need a director. You need friends and community involvement!" Dimitri nodded.
"Gee, thanks."
"Please, Niko? Everyone is gonna be in it!" Dimitri said.
"So will you direct??" Faustin smiled.
Niko sighed. "Okay..."
"Yay!" The three Russians exclaimed.
When Niko arrived at Perestroika, everyone was hanging out as Bernie played piano. Alex leaned on top of the piano listening to him play O Tannenbaum, observing him curiously.
"Why can't you play Frosty the Snowman?"
Bernie smiled and played Frosty the Snowman.
"No no no! I mean Frosty the Snowman!"
Bernie looked confused. "...That was Frosty the Snowman..."
"No! I mean Frosty the Snowman! You know, like Jingle Bells and Joy to the World and peace and goodwill among men?"
Bernie looked at her annoyed and used one finger to tap out the notes of Frosty the Snowman on the piano.
"I wonder if Mozart ever played Frosty the Snowman..." Alex mused. "he probably thought he was too good to play Frosty the Snowman."
Faustin came out from behind the curtains and clapped his hands.
"Hey everyone! Our director will be here any minute!"
Mumbles of "director??" went through the crowd.
"Who's our director?" Kate asked.
"Niko Bellic!"
Everyone groaned.
"Oh no, we're doomed!" Francis McReary covered his eyes.
"This'll be the worst Christmas pageant ever!" Karen cried.
At that moment, Niko walked in. Dimitri saw him and came over, smiling.
"Hey guys, our director's here! HEY! LISTEN UP!"
The music stopped and everyone looked over at him. Karen marched up to him, an angry scowl on her face.
"You better not mess this up, Niko!"
"I have done some research. Okay, so when I make a slashing motion across my throat, it means cut. When I say action, it means start the scene. When I raise my hands, it means talk louder. When I lower them a little like this, it means speak lower. Okay, everyone take your places and we'll get started. Kate, can you hand out the scripts?" Kate smiled and nodded and took the scripts that Niko handed to her. "The script girl will be handing out your parts."
Kate handed a script to Alex. "Alex, you're the innkeeper's wife."
"The innkeeper's wife has naturally blonde hair?"
Kate handed a script to Michael Keane. "Michael, you're a shepherd."
Michael sighed. "My entire life, I've been a shepherd in every Christmas play I've ever been in..."
Kate handed a script to Derrick. "And Derrick, you're the innkeeper."
Derrick smiled proudly. "Despite my past heroin habits, I shall try my hardest to be a kindly elderly innkeeper."
"Okay, I think we're ready," Niko sat down in one of the booths. "Bernie, start the music for the first scene."
Bernie nodded and began to play.
"Aaaand...ACTION!!!"
But no one acted. Instead, everyone started to dance to Bernie's music.
"No no no!" Niko threw his script down as Roman came up behind him and mimicked him. "listen, everybody! You've got to take direction! You've got to learn your craft! You've got to take acting seriously!" He looked angrily at Roman mocking him. "Roman, I ought to slug you!" Roman just smiled and hugged him. Niko could only sigh and hug him back and sit back down, miserable, his hands cupping his cheeks. Roman sat next to him, concerned.
"Oh, Roman...I knew I would be bad at this. I just don't know what Christmas is all about." He raised his voice. "Can anyone tell me what Christmas is all about?"
At that moment, Packie calmly apporached the cousins' table. "I can tell you what Christmas is all about, Niko."
The Irishman ascended the stairs stage right. "Lights, please!"
The lights dimmed.
"The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom
a light has shone.
You have brought them abundant joy
and great rejoicing,
as they rejoice before you as at the harvest,
as people make merry when dividing spoils.
For the yoke that burdened them,
the pole on their shoulder,
and the rod of their taskmaster
you have smashed, as on the day of Midian.
For every boot that tramped in battle,
every cloak rolled in blood,
will be burned as fuel for flames.
For a child is born to us, a son is given us;
upon his shoulder dominion rests.
They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero,
Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.
His dominion is vast
and forever peaceful.
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus
that the whole world should be enrolled.
This was the first enrollment,
when Quirinius was governor of Syria.
So all went to be enrolled, each to his own town.
And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth
to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem,
because he was of the house and family of David,
to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.
While they were there,
the time came for her to have her child,
and she gave birth to her firstborn son.
She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger,
because there was no room for them in the inn.
Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields
and keeping the night watch over their flock.
The angel of the Lord appeared to them
and the glory of the Lord shone around them,
and they were struck with great fear.
The angel said to them,
"Do not be afraid;
for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy
that will be for all the people.
For today in the city of David
a savior has been born for you who is Christ and Lord.
And this will be a sign for you:
you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes
and lying in a manger."
And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel,
praising God and saying:
"Glory to God in the highest
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."
A thick silence fell throughout the club as everyone stared at him, deep in thought after what he had just said. The house lights came back on and Packie descended stage right and walked up to Niko.
"That's what Christmas is all about, Niko," he declared quietly.
Niko just sat where he was, stunned. Eventually, he smiled.
"We need a Christmas tree! Come on, everybody!"
The two Serbs led the way out of the club and to the Christmas tree farm in Dukes.
"That one!" Roman pointed to a big, tall, leafy tree.
"Help me cut it down!" Niko demanded excitedly.
Everyone gathered around it, but the owner of the tree farm approached.
"Sorry, kids, we have to cut this tree down ourselves. It's overgrowing."
Everyone stood and watched as the employees cut the entire top of the tree off, leaving only a short stump and a few branches and leaves. Everyone stared at it.
"That is one sad tree," Gerry looked it up and down.
"Well...is not so bad," Niko said. "we can put some baubles on it and use it in the pageant!"
"NIKO BELLIC, YOU BLOCKHEAD!" Alex yelled. "we can't use that tiny tree!"
"Why not? Why does the size of the tree matter? Weren't you guys just telling me the true meaning of Christmas?"
"Niko, everyone knows you can't have that without a big tree with a star on top!" Derrick said.
"Stupid Balkan...forget him, guys. We can get someone else to direct our pageant," Dimitri said and everyone left, but stopped and looked as Niko, with a determined look on his face, picked up the tree and took it back to Perestroika. Everyone followed him. Once back at the club, he took three of the Christmas ornaments hanging on the little Christmas trees on the bar and decorated it.
"Well, is not much, but is a tree. Guess I am the only one that likes it." He left. Everyone gathered around and observed it.
"Is not such a bad little tree..." Roman smiled, looking at it.
Everyone found some tinsel and hung it from the branches. They took it to the Broker apartment where they knew Niko would be. And sure enough, Niko was walking home, dismayed and disappointed. He looked up and saw everyone standing around the little tree, smiling at him.
"What's going on?"
He came over to the tree and was shocked to see it all decorated.
"What is that??"
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, NIKO BELLIC!"
They all started to sing O Come All Ye Faithful.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!