Work Text:
IT Wsa a byeatiful dey out in Kamrocho. Espcialy for Yagami (not teh Death Note one, cause Tabo isnt emo enough!) cause he was gona discover the best thnig of al timez. But WAT could it be? Shhhh its a secret yuo imp8tient raeder!
Anywey Ygami went to teh Poppo store in Tenkaichi Stret. "Sup bitchez" he said upon entring the stoer like a B@D@$$.
"Ohhhh Yagami-shit! Welcoem to poopo! Waht will yuo have todey?" Dwayne The clerk (not Dwayne the rok yuo dirtey rock fuckers!) wsa always so nice to Yagmi.
"Uh I want soem beer. I feel liek today is gonna be epic winz"
"Sure man", Dwyane the epic clrek said. "Taht will meke 420,69 yens Ygami-shit." He got hsi credit carrd out of his wallet when sudenly Dwayne made an O_O faec. The kard... was brown... just like poop!
"Yagmi-shit!!! I forgot but todey is a speshul day in our stores." He pointèd at the poster behing him. There were five seksy men in a marshmelow coat. The poster said "THE POOPSHITTERS". "These awesum dudez just released their latest album and made a pooptnership wiht us. So enjoy dis free record!"
"Whats a poopshitter?" Im-A-Gay asked, scratchin his fabulous head.
"R u srs? They the best band in the world! Here just take the record oh my gawd. " The record had an epic cover: two of the sexy Poopshit men with a giant foot at the middle. It said "SORRY FOR POOP SHITTING". Yagami didnt know wat to think of such awesum sauce, but he was aboot to. He hoped it wasnt too wierd, but in fact he wasnt redy for the best thing of al timez. "You better become a shitstan Yagami-shit." Dwayen looked at him wiht weird eyez!
When he got out of the storez everyone was wearing Poopshitter merch. "Is this the new trendy shit?" he asked himslef. maybe he was too old for these poop joeks. Also why did Poopo Dwanye call him a shitstain? Yagami could use his pheonix wright powers at any time and file a complaint. He was better then a stain of shit! Wat could this meen? But since the Popop guy was his tomodachi, he didnt and just told hmiself that he would give the POOPSHITTERS a try.
He finaly arrived to his epic detectiev house after a nice walk in Kamurcho. He noticed dog poop had been evrywher in de streets but thot it was jsut a coincidence.
His kokoro was going dokidoki now. Was the poopshittin expooprience gonan be worth it? After all the rekord was free. If he didnt liek it he could always giev it to someboy else.
Wen the first song started playign Ygami finaly understood waht Dwayne told him. It was so good he thot he wsa aboot to shart himslef. The first song was caled, "I Took A Shat In Wild Jackson" and the song titel actually brought back epic toilet memories. It made him so emotional... the music wsa exactly waht he needed. The Poopshitters genius was not to bee underestimated.
Then the second titol started poopign. "Poops I Did It Again". And it was so bangign that he couldnt stop himself from doign his mean girls dance pooptine along to the epicness of the song.
But of course somebody opned the door and had to distrub him during his enjoyment of the album. IT WAS.................................. Kaito!
"TAbo", the buf man just said. "What the fuck are you doign."
"Holy SHIT Kaito-san! Twerk wiht me right now! That music is pure genius! Theyre a band called the Poopshitters! Dwayne at Poopo gave me a free record!"
"Yes TABO I heard of them. Who doesnt know the poopshitters smh!"
"Then why arent you joinign me! If you truley knew them youd be dancign youor ass off. You're a poser Kaito-san. Or should I say.......... a POOser!"
"Thsi is serious TABo. Ive heard rumors. Apparently the Poopshitters is a project of the Tojo chairman. I cant fuck around with thatkinda stuff yuo know Tabo."
"O RLY?" Yagmi said. "But even if thats the case... their music is the SHIT, right??? Just stay awhile and listen!"
Kaito cloesd his eyes and paid attenshun to the myoozik. It was much awesomer than, he wanted to admit. Tabo had always had impecable taste in moosiq and he wasnt saying taht cause he was gay. There was somethin incredible abot the poopshitting spirit of teh record. On one hand it gave him the urge to go to th toilets but on the other hand it was so bangin.
"SHIT! Tabo, you are wright. This is off the SHITS! Im gonna give in and twerk with yuo in there!"
They both startd dancing ther asses off to a track callèd " Poop shit slide" . The distorted bag pipe noises made th wals vibr8t like a poop in the wind! Just in the spirit! They both hadnt felt like this in so long. Finally the pOopshitters were getign the attention they deserved.... until a tradgedy happehed.
"What the fuck are you doign in here you homosm!" Higashi blurted out, entering the room with Sugiura. "And whats with this shitty music!"
"Literally tho. Theyre called... the Poopshitters !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sugiura had a revel8tion.
"This is gdawful guise!" Higayshi stopped the music and put th record away, makin yet another tsun tsun faec. "Why would you listen to SHIT that make de wallz vibrate!"
Kaito and Yagami sighd and rollèd their eyes. "Whata bunch of constipators..."
