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Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Sia, Breathe Me
He was unused to the ship being so full.
He had almost drowned in the anxiety rolling off of his protector the last time there were so many other people here. They had been shrouded in darkness, and he knew clear as day that they had meant to harm his protector. Their motivations had run the gamut from cold, calculated annoyance to hot, burning bitterness. Even from behind the locked door, the thoughts of his protector hammered through his head. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. He hadn't known what the words meant, exactly, but they made his tummy hurt and something in his chest thump hard and fast. He had seized up entirely when the door swooshed open and the bald one picked him up. No! No! No! pounded at him behind his eyes. Then the world had turned sideways, spilling him and everyone else to the deck, followed by a quick succession of relief and guilt as his protector covered him, found him unharmed, and then placed him back in the locker before disappearing and taking all but the droid with him.
He'd had no idea where the inspiration to lead the droid on a merry chase around the ship had come from, but it had been fun to confuse it. Distract it from the harm it meant to do to his protector. Maybe even get it in the position to where he could harm it, the disgust and rage that his protector had felt for it clearly etched in his mind.
In the end, he hadn't quite been able to pull it off in time. He'd been too slow to gather his concentration, and then that concentration had been shattered by the terror of his protector upon his return. His protector was fast, ending the droid before he'd gotten the chance to do so himself, and he had welcomed the wave of relief that rushed from his protector when he saw he was safe.
The instincts to heal and protect burn hot within those who are strong with the Force. But when mixed with fear, the instinct to protect will morph into the instinct to harm.
And his protector had been afraid for so, so long.
Now the ship was full again. Three great beasts, two people, and another droid. The beasts were grumpy but seemed easy enough to control, and they shared his taste for frogs. The droid was banished to the upper part of the ship, out of sight, his protector ready to destroy it at the slightest provocation. The people seemed familiar in a long-ago sort of way and lacked most of the darkness of their previous guests. The short one with the craggy voice was the warmer of the two, and he could feel the gratitude his protector felt towards him. The short one seemed to regard him with curiosity and concern, washed over with benevolence. The tall one with the long hair had her own darkness, but was not overwhelmed by it. She had been irritated with him before, when he'd maybe gotten a little carried away with the controls on the flight deck, and her irritation did not carry the same concern for his well-being that his protector's did. Still, he understood the trust that his protector felt for her, mixed with the memory of a great victory, something he would later recognize as camaraderie.
His protector was also unused to the ship being so full, and the anxiety, while not overwhelming, made his tummy hurt just a little. The anxiety slipped away when his protector and the tall one with the long hair sat together at the table and clasped their hands together. He was unfamiliar with what replaced it. Not quite happiness, but some parts of it. Some parts of sharpened focus. Great and increasing effort. Again, something he would later come to understand as competitive challenge. Fascinated, he watched them. As it continued, a sense of struggle crept into his mind, and he came to realize that his protector was being overpowered.
This might not end well for me.
He'd heard those words in his head before. Again, he did not know what they meant, but he recognized them all the same. When his protector had struggled against the first great beast that had thrown him into the air and smashed him into the mud, some time ago. His protector was not nearly as afraid now as he had been then, but the seed of fear was there.
And he had had enough.
He’d had enough of his protector being scared. Had enough of his protector getting hurt and not being allowed to do anything about it. Every time he tried to heal his protector he got shoved in a pod or a crate and denied the opportunity to do what burned him from the inside out to do. He felt his protector’s pain as his own and he knew he could stop that pain right now. Stop the tall one with the long hair from hurting him.
Stop…
her -
now
“No… no no… Stop! We’re friends! We’re friends! Cara is my friend!” His protector once again shattered his concentration and be broke off, releasing the tall one as his protector’s fear once again threatened to drown him.
Only this time…
This time…
His protector was afraid of…
… Of him…
What?
No kid. No ad’ika. No womp rat. Only stop. Stop Stop Stop.
He was so swamped with his own shock that the tall one’s rage rolled off his back like water off oil. All he could hear was What did you do? What did you do? striking like a hammer behind his eyes. His protector too scared to even put his voice to the words. The short one’s concern broke through, laced with a familiarity of what was going on. Things got confused then… anger about the past from both newcomers bounced back and forth until his protector diffused it all with a request of the shorter one, answered with acceptance and pride. His protector then led the tall one up to the flight deck, casting one last look over his shoulder. Please, ad’ika, be good.
He understood that well enough.
“Don’t worry little one,” the short one said. “I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
The wish to protect flowed steady from the short one. The sentiment was genuine to the core. But his life force was not nearly as strong as his protector’s. His mind was bright, his hand was sure, but he had his limits.
He watched the short one work, still stung by his protector’s rebuke. The first time he’d felt from his protector that he had done something wrong. The short one didn’t seem to think of it as wrong so much as… something to be cautious about. Something worth understanding. It lessened the sting, a little. To be understood. He knew the short one fixed things. Not quite the same as healing, but born of the same instinct. The need to make something better.
He decided he liked the short one. If forced to chose, he would still pick his protector in a heartbeat. But the short one… The short one he could trust, too.