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Edward's heart thumped wildly in his chest, stomach twisting with anxiety. A part of him, a very small part, wanted to chicken out and run back to the corner of the room where his sister and a couple other kids resided in boredom. But he couldn't–wouldn't. He needed to be honest, even if it meant getting rejected and possibly losing his best friend. It was only getting harder to keep these feelings hidden, he couldn't do it forever.
"Where are we going? My room's back that way, I thought you said you wanted me to show you the gifts my grandparents got me."
Edward swallowed around the lump beginning to form in his throat, before responding to the taller boy beside him, "I know, but I only said that so your mum wouldn't become suspicious, since she seemed a little too sober still."
"Suspicious? What, are we going to commit a murder or something?" Herman chuckled.
Edward let out a short nervous laugh. "No, no. Nothing like that."
"So where are we going, then?"
"Someplace nobody can bother us."
He heard Herman sigh, but the other boy didn't say anymore, most likely realizing he wouldn't receive a straight forward answer from him.
They walked down one last long hallway, coming to a stop in front of a dark brown mahogany door at the end, behind it would have stairs that lead up to–
"The attic? Okay, now I'm starting to get suspicious."
Edward laughed a little again, and tried to give the other boy a reassuring smile (he feared it came off as more of a grimace, though). "You don't hafta be, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything." Not physically, at least, he thought grimly to himself.
Herman gave him a half-hearted glare, and said, "Alright. But just so you know, if you murder me, I will haunt your arse for the rest your life."
At that, Edward let out his first genuine laugh of the night. Even when Edward wasn't feeling his usual self, Herman always had a way of making him feel a little better. He really hoped after tonight that could still continue.
"Noted. Now, come on. Before someone drunk literally stumbles on us."
With that, the two boys walked through the door and up the stairs.
Beside its bigger than average size, the attic looked like how any ordinary attic would; a mix of large and small boxes took up most of the space, but there were also a few furniture pieces that looked to be at least a couple decades old. It was also a bit dusty, but a good secluded place away from all the rowdy, drunk adults and loud Christmas music.
Don't get him wrong, Edward loved Christmas. What he didn't love, however, was him and his sister always being dragged by their mother every year to countless holiday parties that were wild and fun for the adults, but obnoxious and boring for the children. Edward didn't understand why the adults brought them along at all to these things if all they were able to do was sit around and try to come up with ways to entertain each other, while the adults got wasted and acted like stupid teenagers. The only party he didn't mind going to each year was Herman's families'. At least then he was able to endure the night with his best friend by his side. Again, another thing he hoped could still continue after tonight.
"So, now can you tell me what we're doing up here?"
Edward swallowed nervously, the twisting of his stomach only growing stronger.
"Y-yeah, um..." he trailed off, staring down at the floor, avoiding Herman's eyes.
"Edward–" he lifted his gaze back up when he felt hands clasp down onto his shoulders, staring into the hard, but warm eyes of his best friend–"Whatever it is, you can tell me, you know that," Herman said, pulling back.
Edward gave a jerky nod and took a deep, shaky breath. "Al-alright then, well... th-there's something I need to confess to you, something I've kept hidden for awhile now. But before I do, just know that our friendship has meant so much to me, and I'll completely understand if you don't want to be friends anymore and never want to see me again after tonight."
"Edward, why would–"
"HermanI'vehadacrushonyousincelastyearandIthinkI'minlovewithyou!"
Herman gave him a confused and startled look. "Um, I didn't quite catch that. Maybe you can say it again a little slower this time?"
"I... I've had a crush on you for about a year now, a-and I think I might also be in love with you now, too." Edward blushed a bright red, quickly averting his gaze back to the dusty floor. He couldn't bear to see the possible disgust in the other boy's eyes, just yet. "I know everyone says it's wrong to have these kinds of feelings for another bloke, but I... this isn't something I can control or make go away. Believe me, I've tried. But, like I said before, I... I completely understand if you don't want to be around me anymore," he added, voice wavering slightly.
The room fell silent, and as the seconds ticked by, Edward only grew more anxious. Maybe this had been a bad idea, after all. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, maybe he should've just continued to push his feelings down like he'd been doing, maybe–
"It's a good thing I love you too, then."
Edward's head immediately whipped back up at hearing Herman's words. But had he heard correctly?
"Wha... what did you say?" Edward asked in a hushed, disbelieving voice.
Herman walked up to the shorter boy until their bodies' were just a couple inches apart from each other, smiling at Edward with a soft, love filled expression on his face. The look made Edward's heartbeat speed up again, but this time out of hope and anticipation instead of fear.
Herman gently cupped Edward's face in his hands, leaning in closely until Edward could feel the taller boy's breath on his lips. "I love you too, Edward," he whispered, pressing his lips against Edward's and closing the distance between them, once and for all.
Edward felt his heart skip repeatedly with joy, his face growing hotter as he pressed his lips back against Herman's.
The kiss didn't last long (given how it was the first time either of them had kissed anyone before), but to Edward, it felt like a glorious eternity.
They pulled apart from each other simultaneously, both red faced and breathing hard, staring into each other's wide and shimmering eyes. After getting his breathing back under control, Edward asked the other boy, "How long have you had feelings for me?"
Herman took a moment to catch his own breath, before responding, "For about four years." He smiles a bit sheepishly.
Edward blanched, mouth agape as he took in the other boy's words. "F-f-four years?! That's way longer of a time to have to keep quiet! Oh my... Herman, I-I–"
"Edward, Edward!" Herman placed his hands against the shorter boy's cheeks again, gently stroking his thumbs over Edward's still baby soft skin. "It's okay, Eddie. It's okay, really. I'll admit, it wasn't easy, especially as we got older. But–" Herman placed a chaste kiss on Edward's lips–"It was totally worth the wait," he murmured against his lips before pulling away, a wide grin on his face.
Edward gave the other boy a smile just as wide in return. "So... does this mean we're in a relationship now?"
"Yup, I would certainly say so. We'll have to keep it a secret from our families and friends for the time being, though."
Both boys' smiles slightly faltered at the grim reminder of how their parents and the rest of society would react if they knew about their relationship. Edward shuddered just at the thought of his mother knowing about him and Herman, she would go beyond ballistic.
He forced himself to brush away those thoughts for now, though. There was no sense in making himself fear a scenario that wouldn't happen as long as he and Herman were careful around each other, from now on. Which they certainly would be, if they didn't want to face hell from their respective families.
"Yeah, but only for now. Once we're old enough to move out in a few years, our parents won't get a bloody say in anything we do anymore," Edward said with a chuckle, his face brightening back up.
"You got that right! So, wanna actually go to my room now and see what my grandparents got me for Christmas?"
"Sure! And uh, Herm, can we hold hands on our way there? There hopefully shouldn't be too many people lurking around in the hallways, and even if there are, they'll probably be too pissed outta their mind to notice much else around them."
"Of course, Eddie, nothing would make me happier," Herman said, giving him that same soft and love filled expression he gave him earlier, making the shorter boy's chest feel warm. "Well, besides kissing you some more later, that is."
Edward blushed a shade of pink, smiling brightly up at Herman as he laced their hands' together. "There will most definitely be more kissing later tonight, and for the rest of our lives, if I have anything to say about it."
"You plan on marrying me one day then, Eddie?" The taller boy asked in a teasing tone.
Still smiling, Edward replied light heartedly, but with a serious look in his eye, "Sure do. That's my new goal, Herm. That's my goal."