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“What if I run away?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
Ten looks around the room like he’s seriously considering crawling out one of the windows. “Yeah… That would be too difficult. Oh! What if I stop it? Can I stop my own wedding? I almost stopped yours, I’ve got experience.”
Johnny lets out a nervous laugh. “Ten…”
“Bad joke,” Ten runs his hands through his hair, making locks of it stick out here and there. “I know. Sorry.”
Johnny shakes his head as he watches his friend panic, walking in circles around the room like he’s unable to stop himself from moving. He rambles under his breath things along the lines of Oh my God, oh my God, what do I do?, and it starts making the older dizzy, so he stands from his seat at the small couch inside the room to put a stop to this endless pacing.
“As your best man, I feel like it’s my duty to tell you,” Johnny clasps his hands over Ten’s shoulders, stopping him dead on his tracks and looking at him dead in the eye. “You need to stop being dumb.”
“I was born dumb,” Ten replies, almost instantly.
And God, will he find a witty comeback to everything Johnny has to say?
“Alright,” Johnny sighs, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. He taps on the screen a few times until he finds what he’s looking for, and then places the phone next to his ear. A few seconds pass before he talks again. “Sicheng? Tell our strong card to come in.”
As his friend gives a small thanks! and hangs up the phone, Ten rolls his eyes. “Johnny, I love you, but we agreed,” he raises an accusatory finger. “No more calling your husband when I’m having a breakdown. It taints my bad bitch image.”
Johnny laughs, shaking his head slightly. “Who said I’m talking about Jaehyun?”
Ten furrows his brow, and almost instantly the door to the room flings open like it’s been kicked. A woman with her hair up and a beautiful red gown storms into the room, heels stomping into the ground as she determinedly walks straight to Ten.
And when she’s in front of him, Jia smacks her hand across his face.
“... Ouch ?!” Ten cries out, and he’s totally exaggerating because, to be quite honest, it was done more for the drama than an actual hit. But for the drama as well, he holds his hand against his cheek and acts offended. “What the fuck was that for?”
Jia crosses her arms in front of her chest. “I was told you’re being a clown.”
“When am I not?”
She scoffs. “Dude, same. But that’s no excuse,” she sighs, her eyes looking worryingly at Ten. “What’s the matter? … You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
“ What ? No! God, no,” Ten shakes his head effusively. He takes a few steps back until the backs of his knees hit the couch, and he plops down on it with a small thud. Both Jia and Johnny walk up to sit at either side of him. “I just...”
“You just…?” Johnny asks.
“I’m just so nervous. I don’t think I can do it. Not because I don’t want to do it,” Ten is quick to clarify. “But because I want it so bad I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it all up. What if something goes wrong? What if I mess up my vows? What if I stutter, or forget what I was gonna say?” he leans forward and puts his head between his palms as he sighs. “What if I open my mouth and nothing comes out?”
Both Jia and Johnny share a look. Despite not actually knowing each other, they seem to be thinking the exact same thing– after all, both have been through this before. The initial rush, the bone crushing panic, the deadly expectation.
“Ten,” Johnny places a hand on his friend’s back, starts rubbing comforting circles. “Just think. How does Kun makes you feel?”
Without hesitation, Ten replies, “I love him.”
It makes the other two laugh a little.
“I certainly hope you do,” Jia scoffs, her hand joining Johnny’s on Ten’s back. “Or else today’s ceremony is going to be terribly awkward.”
Johnny lets out a soft laugh. “We know you love him. I’m asking how does he make you feel . When you think of him, what are your thoughts like? What blooms inside that heart of yours when you see him?”
Ten takes a second to think about it. “He makes me feel like home,” he ends up saying. There’s a silent pause after that, as he continues gathering his thoughts. “Like this is where I’m supposed to be. Whenever I’m with him, he makes me feel... like I’m doing the right thing. Capable. I feel like I can do anything.”
His own words weight down on him.
Jia gives him a teasing yet loving smile. “That’s because you can.”
“So you need to stop worrying the rest. Because whatever happens, as long as you’re with him, you’ll be alright,” Johnny finishes. “At the end of the day, whether this wedding goes right or wrong, the only that that matters is that you both say I do .”
When Ten lifts his head to look at his friends, furrowed brows emphasize a set of the biggest puppy eyes both Johnny and Jia have ever seen.
The younger sucks in a shaky breath and nods his head a dozen times. “You’re right,” Ten springs up from his seat, and he gently smacks both his cheeks. “I need to stop worrying. I proposed, for fuck’s sake, and Kun said yes. And he’s going to say yes again today. We’re going to get married, right?”
“That usually happens at a wedding,” Jia remarks, as she and Johnny stand next to him.
A smile pulls at Ten’s lips. “Heck yeah it does.”
There’s three knocks on the door of the little bridal room they’re in, and Sicheng peeks his head from behind it. “Sorry to interrupt,” he says. “But ceremony starts in 5. Do we have a runaway bride?”
Johnny takes a look at his friend, all traces of panic vanished from his face as Ten shakes his head no.
“We absolutely don’t,” he says, face full of determination. Then, before walking out to follow Sicheng out the room, he turns around to face his best man and Jia. Ten fixes the ends of his tuxedo jacket. “Do I look good?”
Johnny gives him a thumbs up. “Absolutely stunning.”
Jia gestures a chef’s kiss. “Like a snack, I’d say.”
“God,” Ten wipes off a fake tear from his eye. “You two know just the right thing to say...”
They share one last laugh before turning on their heels and heading outside, towards the beautiful garden where the wedding is about to be held. Ten takes one final deep breath, tells himself it’s going to be okay.
Because the next time he sees Kun, it will be at the other end of a white carpet trimmed with gold. It will be surrounded by a flourish of red and gold, and the people who mean the most to both of them.
The next time he sees Kun, they’ll be getting married.
And, honestly, Ten can’t wait to do so.
One of the reasons why they waited to marry, was the date.
A celebration of nothing but positive symbolism, they’d had agreed on marrying somewhere near Chinese New Year, as a way to usher in good luck, happiness and wealth into their marriage. On its own, the holiday allows friends and families to come together, enjoy meals, and catch up– and what better way than to do so at a wedding?
So, on this breezy February afternoon, red paper lanterns decor in between the trees, dangling above the guests waiting for the ceremony to start. The red signifies good luck and symbolizes new beginnings, and Ten absolutely loves the pop of color it adds to the entire place.
When the piano finally starts playing the wedding march, all guests arise from their seats.
They turn around to receive those who are coming, the main characters of this event about to pace through the aisle slowly.
First enter Ten’s parents, hand in hand, immediately followed by Kun’s father. They politely bow their heads to the guests as they make their way to the front row of chairs.
Then walks in Ten, all smiles and bright eyes, cheeks flushing at the amount of embarrassing praise his friends and family shoot his way as soon as he steps into the aisle. A few groommaids and groomsmen walk behind him; Lisa, Seulgi, Minghao, Sicheng and Lucas, all cheering way louder than the regular person would at a wedding.
And then Kahei and Johnny come in– maid of honor and best man locking arms, walking determinedly to where Ten now stands. He meets eyes with Johnny the whole time, and his best friend gives him a look that says I’m proud of you . Ten gives him a smile that reads thank you before Johnny takes his position behind him. Thank you for supporting me, thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being here.
He feels his friend squeeze his shoulder as the light of Ten’s eyes appears before him. Mei scatters flower petals down the aisle, dressed in a beautiful red gown reminiscent of that of a princess’s. She smiles at him showing all her teeth, and Ten can feel his heart grow twice its size inside his chest.
But nothing compares to when Kun walks in.
When Kun walks in, Ten holds in his breath, like making the slightest of movements would make all of this go away, vanish in thin air. He’s dressed the same way Ten is– in a regular black tuxedo, perfectly tailored, a wine red vest underneath hugging his waist. As he stands at the end of that aisle, he looks like a dream Ten definitely does not want to wake up from.
But this is a reality, and the man he loves is calmly approaching him to the tune of the piano, locking arms with his mother and smiling so beautifully his dimples pop. Ten silently thanks the stars he’s not the one walking in last, or else he would’ve gotten so nervous his trembling knees would’ve made him trip on his way to the front.
Now, as he stands a little impatiently next to the officiant, he knows this is it.
He’s getting married.
Kun and his mother arrive in no time, lovingly sharing a bear hug before the woman walks back to her seat next to her husband and Kun takes his position in front of Ten.
They lock eyes again, mutter a small hey at each other as the piano ceases playing.
This is it.
“Dearly beloved,” the officiant begins at last. “First of all, I’d like to begin by welcoming everyone and thanking each and every one of you for being here on this most happy of days. It’s no accident that each of you are here today, for we’re gathered here today to join Qian Kun and Li Yongqin in the union of marriage.”
Marriage.
Perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create a marriage on its own, only one can do that—through love and patience, dedication and perseverance, talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other. A marriage is slowly built through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate differences, and by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest.
Ten and Kun had been building this marriage way before either of them had even proposed.
“Your journey began the moment you first met. You took the time to learn what makes the other smile, what makes them laugh and how to best support them when life is less than simple,” the officiant says, and even though it’s probably a scripted message you hear at every wedding, Ten can’t help but think fuck, as he feels the first sting at the back of his eyes.
Because Kun has, indeed, supported him at his best as well as his very worst. He’s held him in between his arms, called him out on his bullshit, taught him to be a better person. It’s cheesy, but it’s true, and he can’t help but feel the way all those protagonists on shitty romcom movies do.
The officiant continues. “Marriages bring hard days, just as they bring beautiful ones. This day is a reminder of what your love has already accomplished, and the amazing possibilities of what it can continue to accomplish and overcome in the many, many years ahead of you. Now,” his eyes move from Ten to Kun, offering a sincere smile to both of them. “We’ll take a moment to hear the vows each groom has prepared for today. Who would like to start?”
Before Ten can do anything, Kun raises his hand.
Little does the younger know, his soon-to-be husband is feeling equally as nervous as he is. Kun thinks that, if he doesn’t say his vows right this instant, he’s going to forget parts of it, or worst yet, the whole thing. And he can’t bare to do that, for the words he’s prepared are ones he needs Ten to hear.
So when both the officiant and Ten offer him an encouraging nod, he begins. Not before reaching out to take Ten’s hands in between his.
“From my first impression, many might think that I’m a very quiet, very reserved person,” Kun starts, and it’s almost embarrassing how everyone immediately agrees around him, including Ten. “And honestly, they wouldn’t be wrong. A few years ago, I was someone who would only focus on two things– my daughter, and her safety. That’s the only thing that mattered to me. Not my own struggles, not my own needs. Not being alone,” he purses his lips almost sadly, and Ten gives his hands an encouraging squeeze for him to continue, like always.
Kun loves when he does that.
He’d spent most of his life stopping himself from doing or saying certain things. Whether out of fear or anxiety, he’d often let his words die and his actions fall, not sure if what he wanted was the right thing. But, ever since meeting him, Ten has always been supportive and encouraging, aiding him with physical affections that reassure the other it will be okay. A gentle touch on his back, a squeeze on his hand.
It’s like a little boost of confidence every time he does that.
“I was nothing but a dedicated, considerate father who took care of his daughter. Strict towards no one but myself. A real Capricorn, if you ask me,” Kun continues and people laugh, even though he wasn’t really trying to be funny. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get close to anyone, or that I wanted to isolate myself, no. It was just difficult for me to build up trust with new people,” Kun sighs, then takes a deep breath. “But it was so easy with you.”
He feels his face grow red as a chorus of Aww s echo around him. But Ten’s eye smile is enough to help him continue.
“Ten, falling in love with you was the easy part. Admitting to myself it happened... that was hard. I had had these carefully built, highly efficient walls around me for so long, but you didn't care about them. You just… Made yourself a door and walked in. Rude, by the way,” he adds, earning a smile from the other, all big teeth showing. “It made me scared… But at the same time, oh, how happy am I that you did. Throughout our time together, you’ve made it your goal to always remind me who I am. Because, yes, I am a father. But I’m also a friend, a teacher, a dancer. A soon-to-be husband. I am many things that you’ve shown me I should enjoy and live on my own accord, and I am all of them because of you. Millions of people around the world spend a lot of their time trying to find that special someone to call their true love. Some easily find them, while others spend the rest of their lives looking. Today, I count myself among the lucky ones to have finally found you,” Kun brings one of Ten’s hands up to his lips, and he plants a kiss at the back of it before finishing. “For among all the things that I am, I am especially proud to be someone who’s in love with you.”
There’s a lot of reactions from the guests as he finishes, from cheering to cooing to a few sniffles here and there. But none of that matters, because Ten doesn’t focus on any of that.
All he can focus on is Kun, on his hands holding his.
Ten is so glad those hands are there, holding him, or else he’d float away. His body feels light and heavy at the same time, feels chills running down his back despite how hot his cheeks feel. He closes his eyes for a second or two, collecting himself before his turn comes, and a single tear slides down from his eyelashes and rolls down his cheek. He doesn’t wipe it off.
When he opens his eyes, he takes another second to look around the room slightly, and this time it’s like he’s been injected with adrenaline, for his heart starts beating at a pace that could probably kill him. Everyone’s eyes are on him, expecting him to say the perfect words, something that matches the heartwarming speech Kun just gave.
Ten takes a deep breath, nods to himself once before starting.
“It was a Thursday night of July when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life next to you,” Ten says, the knot on his throat untying slowly with each word. “Nothing in particular caused this revelation. No light hitting your face a certain way or a shared look between us, no lingering touch of skin on skin. I had just put Mei to bed, and then I walked into the living room to find you sitting on the couch, a cup of tea in hand, a book in your lap… And I realized that I could happily spend the rest of my life with you like that,” he smiles a big smile, eyes crinkling and whiskers showing. “That night, you glanced up from your book and asked me if I was okay. I said better than ever, for my mind was set– I was going to marry you.”
He stops for a second because, oh wow, I’m really crying now , and then he locks eyes with Kun and– you’ve got to be kidding me – he’s crying, too.
Ten throws his head back to prevent more tears from spilling, because he knows he won’t be able to continue if he allows himself to break down. Not yet.
Kun needs to hear the rest.
“Kun, you’ve been with me through... all kinds of things. You’ve held my hand and guided me through all of them, wiped off my tears, dragged a smile out of me. And you’ve done all of this without no one ever asking you to, from the bottom of your heart, even when I did not deserve them. It’s crazy how much I don’t deserve you,” his hands squeeze at Kun’s slightly, and the other seems like he wants to say something, but Ten shakes his head. “Don’t even fight me on this, I don’t. But it doesn’t matter because that won’t stop me. Because even though I never once thought I would be standing at an altar such as this, there’s no place I’d rather be. And no one else I’d rather be with. It was my love for you the one to bring me here, and it’s my love for you the one that’ll make me stay. My love for you makes me give my best. My love for you helps me grow. My love for you is in the stars, high above. And among the stars, it shines,” Ten tries to smile, but it only encourages more tears to roll down. “ I love you, and I will for the rest of my life.”
There’s cheering, and screaming, even a little crying somewhere near him, but Ten can only focus on the man in front of him, smiling at him with the sweetest smile he’s ever known.
Kun gently wipes off the tear running down his cheek, and then he wipes the one on Ten’s, who didn’t even know when it appeared.
The officiant thanks them for their words, calls them an evidence of the kind of love they share every day. Then they exchange rings, repeating words that sound like a promise. It all happens a lot faster than Ten thought it would, and he kinda wishes time could slow down, but it’s okay.
He has the rest of his life to feel this way next to Kun.
“And now,” the officiant smiles. “Qian Kun, do you take Li Yongqin to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him forevermore?”
Kun smiles brightly. “I do,”
“And Li Yongqin, do you take Qian Kun to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him forevermore?”
Ten nods a little too enthusiastically. “Of course I do.”
“To make your relationship work will take love. Continue to date each other. Take time to show each other that your love and marriage grows stronger with time. It will take trust to know that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other. It will take dedication to stay open to one another—and to learn and grow together. It will take loyalty to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings. And it will take commitment to hold true to the journey you have both pledged today,” the officiant recites, close to wrapping the ceremony. But first, he must ask an important question. “If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot be joined in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
Ten turns to his guests. “If anyone even dares to open their mouths I will kick your fucking ass.”
Everyone laughs, but he’s only half joking.
“And now by the power vested in me, it is my honor and delight to declare you married. Go forth and live each day to the fullest,” the man declares, and it’s almost like a fever dream. Did Ten hear that right. “You may now kiss the groom.”
When Kun kisses him, Ten is certain.
“I am pleased to present to you the newlyweds, Qian Kun and Qian Yongqin.”
A round of applause deafens him, but nothing could ever compare to the bubbling feeling that’s overtaking all five of his senses. If anyone could even dare to match the way he’s feeling right now, that would be Kun, his husband.
They’re married now, Ten realizes.
And he wouldn’t have it any other way.