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Cyrus felt like he had been floating on air ever since TJ had reached out for his hand on the bench. They hadn’t talked much; they didn’t need to. But it had really happened, and that was all that mattered. Not long after that, TJ had gone home, citing an early shift at work. Cyrus had walked him to the door, and TJ had reached out to squeeze his hand one last time before leaving, giving Cyrus a gentle smile that had made the other boy weak in the knees. They made tentative plans to meet up in the afternoon, with TJ promising to text Cyrus the details.
It was a date. It had to be a date, and while TJ hadn’t texted him yet (since he wasn’t allowed to be on his phone around the kids) Cyrus could barely contain his excitement.
It had been difficult not being able to tell his friends what had happened, but he was fairly certain TJ wasn’t out yet, and he didn’t want to start telling people if the other boy wasn’t ready. He was pretty sure that Buffy had all but figured it out, but he had hinted to her why he wasn’t saying anything, and she stopped asking when she figured out what he meant.
That night, as he was lying in bed, replaying the events of the evening in his mind, his phone buzzed with a text.
TJ: goodnight cy. i’ll see you tomorrow :)
TJ: i’ll text you as soon as i’m out of work
Cyrus couldn’t stop the goofy smile that spread across his face. It was just another reminder of what had happened, and he felt like he was overflowing with happiness for the first time in a long time.
Cyrus: i can’t wait until then :)
He paused, wanting to ask but not wanting to sound like he was pressuring TJ.
Cyrus: i have a quick question and you can totally say no if you want
TJ: ??
Cyrus: i’m hanging out with everyone tomorrow morning at the spoon. is it okay if i tell them
Cyrus: you know, about us
There was a pause, and he waited anxiously for TJ’s response. He would be okay with it if TJ said no, but he was worried that TJ would feel like he had to say yes.
TJ: who’s everyone?
Cyrus: buffy, andi, and jonah. if i do tell them, they’ll know not to say anything to anyone else
Cyrus: but if you’re really not ready, i won’t say anything, i promise
TJ: no, it’s okay. i trust your judgement
Cyrus: you’re sure?
TJ: yes it’s totally fine.
Cyrus: if you change your mind, just let me know
TJ: i won’t. don’t worry about it :)
TJ: now i really do need to go to sleep
TJ: goodnight cy :)
Cyrus: goodnight teej. see you tomorrow!
Cyrus fell asleep with a huge smile on his face that night.
----
As he walked into the Spoon, Cyrus spotted the girls at their usual booth. They were giggling and chatting about something. He slid into the booth next to Buffy, and greeted them. A few minutes later Jonah showed up and they ordered their breakfast. Pretty soon, the conversation turned inevitably to the party.
“How much of a mess is your house?” Jonah asked Andi.
“Pretty terrible,” Andi replied. “I was only allowed to come here this morning after swearing that I would come back to help clean up. It would definitely go a lot faster if we had help!”
She ended her last sentence in a sing-songy voice as she glanced around meaningfully at them all.
Buffy sighed but smiled. “Yeah, we can come help you clean.”
“I have to do something at home first, but I can come by a little later,” Jonah offered. They all glanced at Cyrus. Without planning it, they had set up the perfect way for him to tell them what happened.
“I, uh, actually have plans this afternoon,” he said, feeling a smile starting to creep up onto his face.
“What plans?” Andi asked in surprise. Buffy, however, had a knowing look on her face and was starting to look excited.
“I...have a date this afternoon,” Cyrus said quietly, and both girls immediately gave squeals of excitement.
“I knew it!” Buffy exclaimed.
“Oh my god!” Andi cried at the same time.
“Wait, with who?” Jonah asked, looking confused. Buffy gave him a look, before turning to give Cyrus a hug.
“So, did something happen at the party?” she asked, a teasing tone to her voice.
“Yes,” Cyrus replied, the smile he had been fighting finally breaking loose.
“Details. All the details, right now,” Andi demanded.
“Okay, but before I tell you anything,” Cyrus said, holding up a cautionary finger, “this stays between the four of us for now. He’s not out yet, and it needs to stay on the down low.”
The other three nodded in agreement, although Jonah still looked a little confused.
“So, can you tell us who it is?” he asked.
“Yes,” Cyrus replied. Buffy had her familiar all-knowing smirk on her face, and Andi looked like she had an idea of who it was too.
“It’s TJ,” he said, and Jonah’s face lit up with surprise.
“Oh,” he replied. “Cool.”
Buffy just rolled her eyes before grabbing Cyrus’ arm excitedly. “Okay, tell us everything.”
“Well, it was after we sang,” Cyrus started off.
“And since when can he play piano?” Andi demanded. “Sorry,” she said after Cyrus raised an eyebrow at her.
“Apparently since always,” he replied. “Which I also learned last night. Anyways, he was sitting out by the fire and went out there by him.”
Cyrus summarized the events of the evening, omitting the part where he asked TJ about his name, and vaguely stating that TJ had shared something personal with him. Buffy looked intrigued by that, but Cyrus brushed past it as quickly as he could before she started asking questions.
When he got to the part about TJ reaching for his hand, both girls gasped, and when he said that TJ had actually held his hand, both of them were squealing again.
“How did he hold it though?” Andi asked breathlessly.
“Does that matter?” Jonah asked in confusion.
“Well, it might,” Buffy said. “Was it a pinkie hold? A halfway hold? His whole hand wrapped around yours?”
She demonstrated each one on Cyrus’ hand, and he couldn’t keep the grin off his face as replied,
“Actually, it was more like this,” and then slid his fingers between hers.
Both girls were hopping up and down with excitement, while Jonah still looked nonplussed. But he shrugged and smiled at Cyrus.
“Awesome, dude!”
“Where are you going on your date?” Andi asked.
“I’m not sure yet,” Cyrus replied. “He’s going to text me when he gets off of work.”
The rest of their breakfast conversation turned to Buffy sharing that Marty had kissed her after she revealed her feelings to him. This was met with general astonishment as she hadn’t even hinted that anything had happened to her. They all parted ways afterwards, and Cyrus headed home, already mentally planning out what he was going to wear on the date.
Staring into his closet, Cyrus became quickly convinced that he had nothing to wear. It didn’t help that he had no idea where they were going or what they were doing. He didn’t want to end up dressing wrong for the occasion, even if on accident.
It was pretty cold out, which (hopefully) ruled out any outdoor activities. He racked his brain, trying to think of what TJ would pick for them to do. Going out to eat? Very possible. Going to a movie? Also very possible. Doing something more physical, like bowling? Another possibility. He didn’t want to dress up too nicely if they were doing something like bowling, but he also didn’t want to dress down too much if they were going out somewhere/ Finally, Cyrus just decided to wear a nice sweater and dress pants that he could move comfortably in case he needed too.
Pulling out a pair of khakis and a blue sweater, he snapped a pic and sent it to the group chat. He got three thumbs up emojis in response. Deciding to wait to get changed until he heard from TJ, (so he didn’t risk spilling anything on himself), he tried to do some of his homework in the meantime. This proved to be quite the challenge, as his mind kept drifting to the quickly-approaching date and back to the night before and the feeling of TJ’s hand linked with his.
He jumped when his phone buzzed, and his heart had to have skipped several beats. He opened it to see a message from TJ on the screen. Swiping it open, he willed his heart to slow down. (It didn’t listen).
TJ : hey cy! i’m finally done
TJ: i had a place in mind if you’re okay with that
Cyrus: sure, i’m down for anything
TJ: awesome! it’s this little cafe that’s pretty nice.
TJ sent a link to the website and Cyrus clicked it open. He hadn’t been there before, but it looked like a pretty standard coffee shop.
Cyrus: sounds great! what time did you want to meet there?
TJ: would half an hour work for you?
Cyrus glanced at the clock. It was almost twelve thirty, which would mean he would have to get there by one. He quickly plugged the cafe’s address into the map app to see how long it would take him to walk there.
Cyrus : that would be fine. see you then!
Cyrus groaned as he read over his last text. It sounded almost fake and too enthusiastic. Since he and TJ hadn’t really talked since the night before, they were almost in this weird in-between in their relationship. Or at least that’s what it felt like to him. Were they officially dating now? Could he be openly flirty with TJ? He figured that the date would help them figure all these things out, but he still felt like he needed to be cautious about it.
TJ: :D
Okay, that made his heart flutter a bit.
He snapped out of a daze when he realized he needed to get dressed and leave if he wanted to make it to the cafe on time. He had just enough time to change clothes and touch up his hair before he had to leave. Shouting out a goodbye to his mom as he left, he pulled up the map on his phone to make sure he didn’t get lost.
The cafe was nestled between several other small shops on the street, and Cyrus felt his heart leap as he stood outside of it. This was it. He and TJ were going on their first date. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and went inside.
The cafe was bustling with people, and Cyrus had to blink a few times to let his eyes adjust to the darker atmosphere. It was decorated for the holidays, with lights, garland, and greenery adorning every square inch. Holiday music played softly overhead, and there was definitely a general air of festivity.
He glanced around, looking for either TJ or an empty table. Then he spotted TJ sitting in a small booth near the back of the cafe. He started to make his way over, careful not to bump into anyone. As he got closer, he debated whether he should call out or not. Before he could make a decision, TJ glanced up from his phone and made eye contact.
A soft smile spread across TJ’s face when he saw Cyrus, and the sight of it caused a swarm of butterflies to erupt in Cyrus’ stomach. He returned the smile and slid into the booth across from TJ.
“Hi,” TJ said.
“Hi,” Cyrus replied, fighting down the sudden urge to giggle. “I’m not late, am I?”
“No, no,” TJ reassured him. “I just got here early because I wanted to make sure that there was an empty spot for us.”
“Oh, okay,” Cyrus said.
“I told the waitress that I was going to wait to order until you got here,” TJ said. “She should be back soon.”
As though she had heard him, the waitress suddenly appeared by their table.
“Hi there, my name is Danielle, and I’ll be your waitress today,” she said with a wide grin. “Here are your menus. Can I get you started with something to drink today?”
“Water’s fine for me,” TJ told her.
“Same,” Cyrus said. There was a momentary silence as the waitress left and they both studied their menus. Cyrus found that he was having trouble concentrating. While everything seemed fine so far, he still felt a little awkward. It was definitely a date, right? He didn’t know how to navigate this.
He forced himself to concentrate though, and found a sandwich he wanted. When he glanced up, TJ had already placed his menu down and had his gaze directly on Cyrus. When their eyes met though, Cyrus was surprised to see a slight pink tint to TJ’s cheeks. Was he blushing?
“So, uh, how was work?” Cyrus asked. TJ smiled at the question.
“It was good,” he said. “The kids keep asking me when you’re going to come back.”
“Aww,” Cyrus replied. “That’s so nice!”
“They want to teach you how to do a cartwheel,” TJ informed him with a slight smirk.
“Aww,” Cyrus said again, this time with whine to his voice. “That’s definitely not going to happen!”
“You never know until you try,” TJ said in a teasing voice.
“Oh, I know what would happen,” Cyrus retorted. “A trip to the emergency room!”
TJ laughed, and Cyrus felt a little swell of pride in his chest. He loved being able to make TJ laugh. He always had.
“It might take some practice, but I’m sure you could do it,” TJ reassured him. “You managed a somersault after all.”
And there it was. They had never really discussed what happened with costume day, but the whole somersault thing - their thing - had felt somewhat tainted for Cyrus. He tried not to let it show on his face - it was a discussion for another day. He didn't want to ruin their first date. But unfortunately for him, TJ had gotten pretty good at reading him and noticed the reaction.
“What’s wrong?” TJ asked, looking concerned.
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong,” Cyrus insisted. They were briefly interrupted by Danielle who had come back to take their order.
However, when she left, it seemed that TJ wanted to continue the conversation. But this time, his face had taken on a more serious expression.
“Are...you still upset with me about the somersault thing?” TJ asked quietly, and Cyrus could hear the concern in his voice.
“No, it’s fine. I’m over it,” Cyrus said, trying to brush it off.
“Cy,” TJ said softly, and Cyrus could see the hurt in his eyes.
“It’s just…” he sighed, trying to think of how to phrase it. “You never really apologized. Or even explained it.”
TJ sat back in his seat and heaved a deep sigh. “Yeah. I know. I wanted to, but...I didn’t know how.”
“To apologize?” Cyrus cocked an eyebrow.
“No, to explain,” TJ said, sitting back up. “But I can now. If...you want me to?”
Cyrus nodded slowly.
“I wanted to do the costume with you,” TJ said. “More than anything. And then Kira asked me to do a costume with her. I told her no a bunch of times, but she kept insisting. And then...she started saying stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?” Cyrus asked quietly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
TJ paused for a moment, and Cyrus could see that he was having difficulties figuring out what to say.
“She...I think she figured out that I liked you. And she made it sound like people would figure that out if I did a costume with you. That you would figure it out. And…I got scared. Which sounds so stupid now. But I was scared and I wasn’t ready to face it. And that’s why I couldn’t explain it to you.”
By the end of his speech, TJ had dropped his gaze down to the table. Cyrus was filled with a mixture of emotions ranging from anger at Kira to pity for TJ mixed with a tiny bit of elation from hearing TJ say out loud that he liked Cyrus.
Any frustrations or hurt feelings that had lingered as a result of the costume day incident were wiped away. Cyrus knew that scary feeling all too well, and he had been so lucky in the sense that no one had ever figured it out before he could tell them. And he definitely had never had to deal with someone dangling it over his head as a threat. The thought of that made his stomach lurch with anxiety.
He carefully reached out his hand across the table and slid it on top of TJ’s. The other boy looked up in surprise.
“Thank you for telling me,” Cyrus said softly. “I’m sorry that you had to deal with that.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” TJ said. “None of this was your fault.”
“I know,” Cyrus said. “But nobody should have to go through something like that.”
TJ turned his hand slightly so that it was settled more firmly in Cyrus’, and he gave it a squeeze.
“If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have done it,” he said. “And then I wouldn’t have had to deal with her this entire time.”
“Is that why you were spending so much time with her?” Cyrus asked.
“Partially,” TJ said. “I also thought that maybe I could be a good influence on her. Make her not act so mean all the time. I think she was looking for a friend. But she just never changed.”
“That makes sense,” Cyrus agreed. “Too bad it didn’t work.”
TJ raised an eyebrow. “Do you actually care?”
“Well…” Cyrus trailed off slightly, and TJ laughed. “I mean, I’m always in favor of people learning to become better people. But in some cases, it’s just not worth the effort.”
“Was I?” TJ asked quietly, taking Cyrus by surprise.
“I think so,” Cyrus replied, smiling softly at him. He felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He hadn’t even realized how much everything with Kira had been bothering him, but now that they had finally talked about it and gotten everything out in the open, he felt a lot better.
Danielle came over with their food then, and they had to separate their hands, which Cyrus had almost forgotten they were holding. Danielle gave them a knowing smile before setting their plates down in front of them. Cyrus could feel a slight blush at the fact that someone had seen them holding hands, but he glanced across the table at TJ to gauge his reaction.
TJ looked a little nervous, but relaxed a little when Cyrus gave him an encouraging smile. They both dug into their food and for a few moments, there was silence at their table.
“Should we talk about what we’re okay with?” Cyrus asked after they had both eaten a bit.
“What do you mean?” TJ asked, brow wrinkled in confusion.
“I mean like holding hands and stuff like that. In public,” Cyrus clarified.
“Oh,” TJ replied. “Yeah.” He sighed, looking a little lost. “This is all...really new to me.”
“Me too,” Cyrus said gently.
TJ looked at him wryly. “You seem like you know what you’re doing.”
“What do you mean?” Cyrus asked in confusion.
“You’ve already told some people,” TJ said. “You held my hand in public without worrying about it. You’re just...so confident and I’m not.”
Cyrus couldn’t help but chuckle a little, but stopped when he saw the bewildered look on TJ’s face. “I’m not that confident,” he said.
“I haven’t told anyone,” TJ said. “I haven’t even said it out loud to myself yet.”
“And that’s okay,” Cyrus reassured him. “Everyone has to figure this out at their own pace. I was terrified the first time I told someone. And that was Buffy, who I basically tell everything to all the time!”
“You were?” TJ asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Cyrus confirmed. “It’s scary every time, but it does get a little easier every time, especially when you have more people on your side.”
TJ nodded slowly, but still looked worried.
“Were you really okay with me telling the other three?” Cyrus asked him gently. TJ looked up in surprise.
“Yeah, that was fine,” he said. “Right? I mean, you didn’t say how they reacted.”
“Oh, that was totally fine,” Cyrus said with a wave of his hand. “Buffy had basically already figured out that something happened between us. And Andi knew I liked you, so she wasn’t super surprised either. Jonah was probably surprised, but that’s because I had never told him who I liked.”
“So, they all knew?” TJ asked. “You told them before?”
“I came out to all of them, yes,” Cyrus confirmed. “Three separate times. And it was scary every time, but it’s been worth it every time.”
He could tell that TJ was mulling it over.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured at all,” Cyrus continued. “It’s completely up to you when you tell people or if you tell people. It’s not my choice, it’s yours. That’s why I asked before telling my friends.”
“You were going to keep it a secret?” TJ asked him, surprise written all over his face.
“Yes,” Cyrus said earnestly. “They don’t need to know your sexuality if you’re not ready.”
TJ seemed taken aback by this, and Cyrus felt a pang in his heart at the realization that TJ had assumed he would have to come out to everyone by proxy of them dating.
“I don’t think I’m quite ready to tell the world yet,” Cyrus said. “I mean, I still have to tell my parents. I’m more than okay with taking this slowly. If that’s what you want.”
TJ nodded slowly, considering what Cyrus said. “I think I feel the same way,” he replied. “If our friends already know, then that’s okay. And we can...go from there.”
Cyrus smiled in agreement.
“So...does this mean we’re dating?” TJ asked hesitantly.
“I think so,” Cyrus replied. “I mean, I want to. Date you, I mean,” he fumbled over his words, suddenly feeling awkward again. But TJ’s wide grin that stretched across his face was the reassuring answer that he needed.
“I want to be,” TJ said, giving Cyrus a look that would have made him weak in the knees had he been standing up.
“All right then,” Cyrus said, hoping he wasn’t blushing too badly. “Then I guess we’re officially dating.”
The pair gazed across the table at one another, both grinning happily, before their concentration was broken by a shriek from a baby at a nearby table who tossed her bottle onto the ground. They both laughed, and TJ reached across the table to briefly squeeze Cyrus’ hand again, causing another happy lurch of Cyrus’ stomach.
They got to work finishing their meals, and decided to order hot chocolates to go. After paying, they ended up wandering up and down the street, peering into various shops as they went. They didn’t hold hands, but they walked so closely together that the backs of their hands were almost constantly touching. It was just like what they used to do - but now Cyrus knew that it was on purpose for both of them, and it made it even better.
At one point they wandered into a second-hand store and poked around a bit. Whenever they were standing behind a high counter or rack, TJ would reach out and gently hook his fingers with Cyrus’, and Cyrus felt a thrill of happiness go through him every time.
After a while though, they knew that they both had to go back to their respective homes to finish up homework and such. TJ walked Cyrus home, and before Cyrus went inside, TJ reached out and took his hand again.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” TJ said, still holding Cyrus’ hand.
“Bright and early,” Cyrus replied, grinning widely. TJ’s smile matched his, and he squeezed Cyrus’ hand one last time before reluctantly letting go and heading back down the path to the sidewalk. Cyrus let himself into the house and headed up to his room where he collapsed onto his bed. As he lay there, he let the events of the day wash over him and he felt himself filling up with a happiness he hadn’t felt in a long time.
He and TJ were dating . It was real. All of his daydreams from the past few months and all the heartache had passed by and now it was real. He still couldn’t completely believe it, but the sensation of TJ’s hand in his own hadn’t completely faded yet. Grinning widely, he reached for his phone and pulled up the group-chat. He had a lot to tell his friends.