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“Are you kidding me?” He grumbles under his breath as he wipes furiously at yet another abomination in the form of a fluffy red and green pom pom off his pant leg. One of the nurses collecting paperwork for their next batch of patients laughs breezily at his side taking just oodles of amusement from his predicament. Though he is clenching his teeth it doesn’t stop him from engaging. “What?” He grouses at the nurse.
Nurse Jung looks at Mark sidelong as he leans over the counter of the nurse’s station, propped on his elbows like this isn’t his 12th hour here. Wherever he gets the energy Mark will never know. Although he suspects it has something to do with the holiday season. There is no one Mark has ever met who is happier to work on the major holidays.
Mark eyes Nurse Jung warily as it occurs to him that they might not be able to get the nurse to leave when his shift is over since it will be noon on Christmas by the time his overnight is up. All Mark gets is a raised eyebrow and then Nurse Jung is pointing at the right side of Mark’s white jacket with mirth in his eyes.
“You’ve got another one there.” Nurse Jung can’t hold in their laugh and it follows him when he grabs his stack of paperwork and walks to his next patient, leaving Mark in his dust and wiping furiously at the offending pom pom.
“I’m gonna kill him.” Mark mutters under his breath while his mind conjures up malicious traps to set for his mischievous younger cousin, Donghyuck, when he returns to his childhood home today for his Father’s Christmas party. The one that is actually more about work than it is about family, as always.
“Pretty sure that goes against your doctor’s oath.” A voice beside Mark’s left ear judges him. Mark jumps with a highly unprofessional yelp and spins on his heel. He stares into the eyes of Dr. Wong’s sardonic expression. A wry smile is twisted onto his lips.
“What? I said I was gonna kiss him.” Mark deadpans and that is usually the kind of joke that would get his longtime friend from med school grinning mischievously but Dr. Wong’s answering smile is weak and doesn’t reach his eyes. Mark deflates a bit.
“Lucas, I really can cover the rest of your shift.” Mark edges in softly but Dr. Wong shakes his head while his fingers run through his hair and a harsh sigh leaves him.
“I really don’t think leaving early will fix anything since she didn’t want me to come to work at all. Don’t worry about me man. I’ll get my head on right and focus on the patients.” Dr. Wong assures Mark with the least assuring sad twist to his mouth. “Speaking of,” Dr. Wong reaches past Mark and pulls back with a patient folder in hand that a nurse at the nurse's desk behind Mark hands him. Dr. Wong gives it a shake between them and gives Mark a pointed look. “Duty calls.”
Mark watches him go and when Mark turns away he still can’t shake the sad tilt of his friend’s shoulders out of his mind. Maybe he should gift the struggling couple tickets to see something romantic together. Though what his old time friend really needs is to finally take a few days off but that is out of Mark’s hands. The beeping going off at his side promptly ends the train of thought.
Woodenly Mark reaches for the pager where it is strapped to the top hem of his pant scrubs and looks at the screen. Reality fully smacks back into him when he reads the phone number of the ER. By the time he has his pager in his lab coat pocket and has the nurses station at the ER dialed Mark is rushing down the stairs to the first floor.
“Hello, Mercy Hospital ER Nurse’s station, Jonghee speaking, how may I help you?” Comes a familiar strained voice, badly faking cheerfulness. Mark is pretty sure the screaming he can hear over the phone and echoing through the halls is the best indicator as to why she may sound like that.
“It’s Dr. Lee, Trauma Surgeon, I was paged.” He says but it’s almost a moot point as the sounds of the ER fully reach him and he realizes the screaming is actually someone wailing. Whether from physical pain or deep sadness he isn’t quite sure of that just yet.
“We have two patients who slipped on the ice in a motorcycle, one is in critical condition and requires surgery and the other has mildly severe road burns, but at first glance seems treatable without surgery.” Mark walks through the doors of the ER as she finishes. He hangs up and rushes to the scene before him. His hand slips his phone into his pocket on autopilot and his eyes zero in on the crowd of nurses helping the ER doctors contain the scene.
There is a young man bleeding out on the stretcher in the middle of the emergency room and the one wailing is another young man being subdued onto the floor by Nurse Jung and a few other vaguely familiar faces. But Mark drowns that out and jumps into the crowd around the critical patient. They are readying him to get him to surgery while a surgery table is being prepped. Mark examines him, checks over the work of his colleagues, acquaints himself with the precarious life that is now in his hands.
Once the room is ready and Mark’s preliminary exam is done the stretcher has already been set in motion. Mark readies himself for surgery while his surgical assistants ready the patient in the sterile room.
The hyper focused state Mark goes in for surgery is like slipping through a pocket of time. Nothing really seems to be going on anywhere else while he works to keep the man on his operating table alive. His attending surgical assistants act like his perfect extra limbs, eyes, and ears. They all work together like they are taking part in a choreographed dance, all performers in a show.
The operating room is his stage and his work is pretend. The detachment is necessary to work efficiently and make the best snap judgements for proceeding. The detachment also helps in those times when the patient doesn’t make it. Pretending you aren’t there when you hear the flatline means it may never have never actually happened. Afterall, time stops in Mark’s surgery room.
This one though, this patient, this surgery, there is no feeling of a stage in Mark’s mind the longer he works because the wailing young man with the road rash is watching on the other side of the glass. If it really were a stage Mark would have long had stage fright at the feel of those eyes on his back.
No this is no stage show, no slip through time, this is life or death and Mark will save the man on his table. He’s so sure of it. Surer than he has ever been about anything. The sound of a flatline haunts the back of his mind and it spurs him on. He cannot let this couple down. There are too many unhappy ones in his life right now. So he sets to work, more determined than ever to fix the one relationship that is in his power to set right.
Nearly 3 hours of surgery later and the patient has been stabilized. While the patient is being wheeled to a recovery room Mark speaks with their wailing companion who he learn’s goes by the name, Ten. His patient, Taeyong, had only been driving at Ten’s request to go to the movies on christmas.
“He really will be alright. I will see him through his recovery myself. Today I will stay to check on him for the next 2 hours, to be sure nothing went wrong with the surgery. The nursing staff here is very attentive and he will be looked after overnight. I promise you we will do all we can here to keep him comfortable as he recovers.”
Mark sits down at a bench in the hallway of the surgery wing with Ten as he listens to the story of how they came to the hospital today. Ten seems to hold himself together with his arms wrapped around his chest. He is shaking like a leaf and Mark is sure he has refused treatment from the ER doctors which Mark will not stand for. He softens his voice even more as he brings it up.
“Ten, look at me.” Mark insists. Ten tears his eyes away from the tiled floor and his wide eyes tell a story of a man haunted. Mark’s chest clenches painfully at the amount of recovery the man before him has ahead of him, physically and mentally.
“Taeyong will be okay. He will heal and very soon he is going to wake up. Judging from how he wanted to spend Christmas day at the movies with you enough to ride a motorcycle in winter, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that he cares for you very much. Am I on the right track?” Mark waits for an answer, waits for his words to all click into place through the shock Ten is obviously in the throes of. Slowly Ten nods, his eyes glistening with fresh tears. Mark nods as well.
“Because he cares so much I know he would want to wake up to see you all patched up and not in too much pain either, don’t you agree? He wouldn’t want you to be left untreated.” Mark says as if it is an errant surmisation to hide the desperate insistence he can feel deep in his aching chest. Slowly once again Ten nods. Mark nods again himself and gets to his feet and waits for Ten to follow suit.
“I will take you to admissions myself and make sure you get the best doctor I know in the ER alright? By the time you’re all patched up Taeyong should be awake and in a room you two can share. Sound good?” Mark asks. Ten pulls in an unsteady breath and manages to nod once more. His eyes glisten but do not spill over this time.
Wasting no more time, Mark leads him back to the front desk of the ER and flags down one of his good friends, Dr. Nakamoto who has some of the best bedside manner he has ever seen in an ER doctor. His easy smile shines on Mark and Ten as he walks over and turns completely to Ten even as he speaks to Mark. Ever focused on his patients. It eases that ache in Mark’s chest a little to know he is handing Ten off to good hands.
Mark informs Dr. Nakamoto why he was called over and the doctor wastes no time corralling Ten to a bed and treating his wounds as he examines and evaluates his health further. Mark spares Ten one last glance before moving on to see the rest of the trauma patients he has consultations with today. They are previous ER patients he has performed surgery on who he sees regularly to assess how they are healing for the next 3 months on average of their recovery periods.
Once he is finished seeing them all he checks in on Taeyong. Ten is already at his bedside sitting on a chair he had pulled up next to the bed. Ten is asleep with his head resting next to the hand he is clutching on to for dear life. Taeyong is not awake by the time Mark’s shift ends but he pulls Dr. Wong aside and he agrees to keep Mark posted on his condition. And that is all he can do.
Mark shrugs out of his lab coat in the locker room for the employees and grabs his backpack of things he probably shouldn’t be lugging around to work. On the drive home he finds himself making careful decisions and the ache in his chest persists all the way through the threshold of his apartment.
“I’m home.” His voice sounds lifeless as he calls out, walking to the open living room. Still, the pitter patter of footsteps headed his way from the hall makes his aching heart skip in his chest while he puts his bag down by the couch. The footsteps come to a halt at the entrance of the hall and Mark turns his body and lifts his eyes to see something he never expected to see in his lifetime.
His eyes travel upward from the white and grey crew socks to the ironed deep blue jeans,the lining of which stitched with alternating green and red pom poms. They connect to an oversized knit green sweater that is covered heinously in the equivalent of what Mark thinks elves in the north pole would puke up after falling into a vat of christmas crafting supplies. He thinks maybe he sees Santa in all the glitter and red and green and silver and gold but he can’t be completely sure. Somehow his eyes move up from the monstrosity to sinfully plump lips curved up into a wide smile and eyes full of mirth and pride.
“Merry Christmas Honey!” Jungwoo yells once he’s sure Mark has gotten an eyeful and then he launches himself across the room. All Mark can do is open his arms and angle them so they fall into a heap on the couch. He doesn’t even want to think about all of the glitter that has probably exploded all over him and the couch on impact from his boyfriend’s ugly sweater.
Jungwoo is laughing into Mark’s chest and the ache eases more and more as his skin warms under the weight of him and his joy. Mark’s arms tighten around Jungwoo, holding him against him like one would a teddy bear. Jungwoo allows the clinging long after he gets his laughter under control. Mark knows he is waiting. That he somehow always knows when to wait. Jungwoo’s very existence is like an elixir or balm that could heal Mark better than any tape and gauze ever could.
“Do you ever think about what you would do if you lost me?” Mark asks into the silence that has settled on them. Jungwoo moves then, just enough to free his face from Mark’s chest and let his eyes roam over Mark’s contemplatively sad expression. The ache in his chest feels raw and he knows Jungwoo can see it as if it is bleeding for real.
“Do you want me to tell you what I would do or do you just want to know if I’ve been thinking about it?” Jungwoo answers. Mark purses his lips.
“What would you do?” He clarifies. Jungwoo shifts again, this time to wrap his own arms around Mark’s torso.
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. I do know that thinking about it now, it scares me. I guess... I would just do my best.” Mark feels Jungwoo shrug at his own words that vibrate through him where their bodies are working to fuse together.
“It scares me too. It feels like there are so many different ways I could lose you. I know about all the injuries and the illnesses that could take you away from me but that’s only one side of it. We could just drift apart one day, for no reason at all.” Mark muses. Jungwoo’s hum of agreement sinks into him like a stone.
“For what it’s worth, I think Lucas and Christa are going to work it out.” Jungwoo always knows where Mark’s mind is. He has probably already figured out that Mark had performed a surgery today. That his mood and his musings are from the weight of holding someone else’s life in his hands. Jungwoo must also already know that Mark is about to cry because his arms get a bit tighter and he nuzzles his face into Mark’s chest and he is so warm.
“I’m sorry.” Mark says and Jungwoo stops nuzzling him.
“For what?” He asks.
“I’m making us late for my family’s Christmas party by being weird. It’s Christmas and I’m going to lighten up ok?” Mark tells him. Jungwoo sits up, straddling his lap, and Mark’s eyes widen as Jungwoo fixes him with a hard glare.
“Mark Lee, let me tell you something. I am your doctor and you are my patient and until you tell me what is really wrong we are not going to some shallow christmas party where you have to pretend to be not quite so gay and be subjected to your evil cousin Donghyuck pranking you endlessly. It’s bad for your fragile health and I cannot condone it.” Jungwoo’s voice is light though his eyes continue to pierce through Mark.
Jungwoo’s eyes soften in the seconds that tick by where Mark just stares at him with wide eyes and a slack mouth. Jungwoo offers a soft smile and speaks in a soft tone that is eerily close to the one Mark used on Ten who was in shock earlier today. “Mark, I love you. I love your big heart and your wondering mind. I love you when you are wrapped up in your patients just as much as I love you when you are wrapped up in me. I want to share your burdens Honey. Let me do that for you okay?” Jungwoo reasons and his words soothe and loosen the tightness deep in Mark’s chest until his eyes fill up with the tears he had been wanting to shed since he heard Ten wailing for Taeyong to live.
“I treated a man today who just wanted to take his boyfriend to the movies for christmas and he nearly lost his life for it. It was a reminder that I don’t just lose the life of one person when they pass on my operating table. I also let the lives of everyone who loves them slip away too.” Mark’s voice cracks around the lump of steady tears falling from his eyes and into his hairline.
“But you didn’t let anyone lose anything. Mark you saved them, all those lives. You did amazing." Jungwoo reaches out a hand and curls his fingers into Mark's soft hair where he lightly messes the brown strands. It sends tingles of warmth down Mark's spine and for the first time since Christmas began with him waking only to leave a sleeping Jungwoo in the early morning, Mark feels a genuine smile begin to tilt up his lips.
"How do you know I saved him?" Mark already knows it is just because Jungwoo knows him so well, and because this isn't the first time Mark has felt like this, not his first surgery, not his last. Jungwoo has been there for all of it. A steady presence with open arms and warmth and comfort and belonging and everything.
They have been together since meeting in their first year of college. Mark was pre-med and Jungwoo was undecided; still is undecided about the big stuff in life. Mark had clung to Jungwoo’s free spirit and penchant for giving advice that spoke to the core of him. It was a space to breathe Mark hadn't even known he was missing until he had it.
"Because you made it home to me." Jungwoo answers and as Mark watches him he sees the pain of what waiting up for him does to his boyfriend. He always appreciates the vulnerability of Jungwoo. It teaches him to do the same and together they spend nights a bit like this, baring their souls to each other like it's the end of the world.
"I love you." Mark's hands shift to grip Jungwoo's hips so he can steady him as he sits up to bring their faces, their lips, closer. The shuffle causes Jungwoo's breath to catch in his throat but he quickly recovers with a brilliant smile lighting up his eyes. It's Mark's turn to lose his breath in the wake of how much that smile invades him. As if the ache in his chest was never there, his heart swells and pushes him forward to capture those smiling lips.
Jungwoo pushes against him with enthusiasm and a happy little noise that skips around in Mark like a stone over a still pond. It stirs his insides causing Mark to run his hands slowly up Jungwoo's torso. His fingers stop though when they hit glitter and Mark jolts away to look down at the unappealing ugly sweater.
"Aren't ugly sweaters that are actually cute on trend this year?" Mark grouses as he peels his hands off and winces at the sparkles stuck to his sweaty palms. Jungwoo gasps in mock offense and pulls away from Mark to get to his feet with a huff. Then he gestures to the sweater.
"Shut up, this is a masterpiece and you know it." Jungwoo demands and Mark hides his amusement behind feigned reluctant disgust.
"Babe, half of it is on me now." Mark accuses, actually half genuine once he looks down at himself and blanches at the glitter and pom pom explosion stuck to the fibers of his own plain cream sweater. Jungwoo stamps a foot indignant gaining Mark's attention again.
"It is an improvement and you know it." Jungwoo glares at him but it is nowhere near severe and it just warms Mark further. He cannot hold back his mirth and he smiles big at the confident and loving man before him.
It takes Mark's eyes a moment to drift to the side of such a man to notice their half decorated Christmas tree. He remembers how they tried to decorate it together in the small spaces between their separate shifts, neither willing to do it alone, not this part of the holidays. He remembers this weekend when they both had a day off and full plans and he was called in to work for an emergency and stayed long after Jungwoo gave up fighting against sleep.
He remembers seeing his parent's tree last night in Mark's family's room all done up in matching colors and themes in a way to compliment the rest of the decorations around the house. Everything perfectly coordinated, everything obviously expensive. A clear contrast to the handmade decorations and childhood ornaments both Mark and Jungwoo had collected over the year or that Jungwoo had made while he waited for Mark to come home.
And suddenly Mark can't stomach it. The thought of going to the perfect home from his childhood where not only he but also Jungwoo would stand out like sore bruised thumbs. Subjecting Jungwoo to the cage of expectations he had grown around, even if it means Jungwoo can pretend for a moment he has a family to spend the holidays with, it seems downright wrong. Mark can not leave their sad little half decorated tree for the world unless it is what Jungwoo truly wants. His eyes wander back to his boyfriend who is gazing at him curiously.
"So is my doctor truly putting me on house arrest?" Mark asks after standing before Jungwoo. He can feel the heat of him from their proximity and neither back away. Jungwoo's eyes search and his mouth quirks and then he draws out a heavy theatrical sigh.
"Yes it is highly unfortunate but it would seem you have caught a cold and cannot spend Christmas with your family." He sounds regretful even as he looks on the verge of bursting into laughter.
"It is lucky then that I saw them yesterday." Mark plays along, solemn. His fingers find Jungwoo's and they intertwine. Jungwoo makes a sound of agreement.
"Ah that may even be where you caught such an ailment, myparentssuckistis, I'm afraid you may have to wait at least a full year to be around them again. It could be fatal otherwise." And just like that Mark knows he'd see the next year through with Jungwoo and he wants to see all the years after with him as well. Still, he plays along.
"I will take your advice. But how serious are my symptoms?" Jungwoo cocks an eyebrow up at his words. "You see I have this tree at home that needs decorating and my boyfriend and I finally have some time alone to do it." Jungwoo seizes the back of Mark's neck and pulls him into a crushing kiss that threatens to suck the very life out of Mark. Then he pulls back just as fast smiling brilliantly
"Lucky for you that sounds like the cure. Doctor's orders in fact." Mark laughs at that and pulls Jungwoo into his arms. He revels in the feeling of Jungwoo pressed against him, Jungwoo's own arms around Mark, Jungwoo's face nuzzled in the crook of his shoulder and neck, Jungwoo's heart breathing against his. Mark sighs into it.
"I love you, Jungwoo." He can never say it enough, as long as he lives, he'll never have enough time to say it till he is satisfied that he has expressed it all, all the fullness in him made up of Jungwoo. But here goes trying.
He pulls away a moment later and they both smile like kids run from home, free for a moment of time itself. "I'll shoot a text to my mom, then we make this tree pretty for Santa." Jungwoo laughs at his words and let's Mark pull away to his phone. Just as Mark presses send on the brief text mentioning being sick, the cheery notes of Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses fills their cozy apartment from Jungwoo's own phone.
Mark meets Jungwoo at the tree and his boyfriend is already swinging his hips and singing along to the song that always makes Mark laugh when he actually listens to the lyrics of the cheery tune. The night comes in as they sing their hearts out to half known Christmas songs from their favorite places.
Jungwoo's popcorn garland isn't long enough to reach the top of the tree cause Mark keeps sneaking bites as they twirl it onto the branches. Mark marvels at the paper cranes and paper stars and paper butterflies Jungwoo has folded and attached to hooks to hang in amidst their childhood ornaments. Jungwoo reaches to place a yellow star made out of construction paper on the top branch. He nearly knocks the tree down in the process and it is off-center but when they step back too see the fruits of their labor Mark thinks it is their own brand of perfect and that is kind of everything.
He lays an arm over Jungwoo's shoulders and Jungwoo rests his head on Mark’s and they just look at their Christmas tree while Jingle Bell Rock plays. Just as Mark turns to ask Jungwoo to dance with him they both hear Jungwoo's stomach growling. Mark's head pops up to look at him and Jungwoo hides his face in Mark's shoulder.
"Hungry?" Mark asks trying not to sound like he is about to laugh, though he is, and honestly he fails miserably to hide it. Jungwoo's hand comes up and lightly smacks his chest.
"Well if someone didn't eat all the popcorn." He teases and Mark chuckles at that before pulling Jungwoo along.
"I've been hiding two frozen pizza pies from you for just such an occasion. I'll have to get more for New Years." Mark informs him before letting him go to dig into the bottom of their freezer. When he pulls the pizzas out Jungwoo feigns swooning and Mark laughs as he places the boxes on the counter and heads to the oven. He preheats it and, unable to stop himself, he tears the perforated strip from one of the boxes and fiddles with it. He has a particular shape in mind.
"Honey I think your phone is going off." Jungwoo is already moving towards Mark's phone by the entryway as he speaks and Mark places his hands down on the counter with a sigh. He's pretty sure he already knows who it is. "It's your mother." Jungwoo's tone is muted and he hands Mark his phone before going to his own to pause the music. It's absence leaves the room much too quiet and the vibrating in Mark's hand that much louder, insistent. He slides it open to answer seeing no other choice.
"Hello Mother." She snorts on the other line.
"You don't sound sick at all. I'm not sure what you're thinking but you need to get dressed and come home immediately. You're already late enough as it is." She doesn't even say hello. Jungwoo's hand slips into Mark's that lays slack still on the counter. The contrast between Jungwoo and his mother mixes inside of him and makes him nauseous. He swallows.
"I can't make it. You can go ahead without me Mother." She scoffs at his words this time. Everything he says is one big joke to her. He is one big joke to her.
"I don't care if you 'can't make it' Mark. You need to be committed to this family. Leave your fling wherever he crawled out of and come to Christmas dinner like a good boy. Your father's employees are here and we need to make an impression." Mark is still stuck on the fling part and maybe even the part where he is suddenly no longer invited. His eyes land on the strip of cardboard he was rolling into a ring just moments before entering the hell of hearing her voice and feeling upside down in a right-side up world.
"Mother, I'm hanging up." He burns deep inside but it is no use proving to her that Jungwoo is no fling, nowhere close. She doesn't really care either way, never has, never will.
"If you do not make it to this party I may have to reconsider letting your father continue to support you at that hospital." Her words are steel but Mark finds himself amused and unafraid. Of all the things she could have attempted to hold over him, this is a power she no longer has. Despite his moods and uncertainties Mark is a good surgeon, his father's name has never been his only achievement. Mark realizes he isn't a helpless child anymore. So many Christmas miracles in one day it spins him off axis for a moment.
"Merry Christmas Mother." Mark moves the phone from his ear to hang up.
"Merry Christmas Mrs. Lee." Jungwoo cheerily calls just before Mark hits end call. They turn to each other assessing each other's expressions in the silence. Then the oven dings to let them know it has heated to the desired temperature. It makes them both jump and Mark makes a squeak that dissolves the tension leftover in a fit of giggles.
Jungwoo resumes the music on his phone and hangs off of Mark as he gets the pizza pies in the oven, laying the crusts directly on the racks. The cardboard ring catches his eye again once the oven door is closed. He covers it with his hand and turns to Jungwoo to see his eyebrows drawn down in pensive thoughtfulness. He is deep within his head most likely going over everything he heard Mark's mother say. When he catches Mark looking at him he breathes out in frustration.
"I can't believe she gets away with talking to you like that. How could she think you would want to do anything for her?" Jungwoo complains. Mark smiles feeling his once burning insides warm to something soft and sweet.
"Awe, are you getting mad for me?" Mark pulls his free hand out of Jungwoo's to move some hair off his forehead. Jungwoo grabs the hand back in both of his.
"Of course I'm mad. You are a very capable surgeon. You went to med school cause they thought it would look good to have a doctor for a son but you aren't some human ornament. You are one of the best in your field. How do they not take pride in you?" Jungwoo squeezes his fingers and Mark squeezes right back, fond, hopelessly in love with this man who is angry for him. "God, every time I hear her voice I just wanna rip her hair out. She doesn't have one nice bone in her body and how your father managed to have kids with that I'll never know."
"My mother never has a kind thing to say, certainly never true either. You are nowhere near a fling. Not even on the same planet as the word." Mark's voice is soft and fond and reflects all the warmth inside. Jungwoo bites his lips as he takes in the expression on Mark's face and the words he just spoke. It gives him pause White Christmas plays in the background and Mark continues.
"I can see every Christmas I'm ever going to have and every happy future moment I see, it's all because you're there with me Jungwoo." The sides of Jungwoo's eyes crinkle in his smile and his irises twinkle as they get a bit misty. "I remember who I used to be before meeting you, how much I hung onto every word that woman has ever said to me. I was so small back then. Everything felt so small back then." Mark swallows around a swell of emotion in the back of his throat. Jungwoo is squeezing his hand hard but neither of them pull away.
"You've expanded so much of me, my world. I'm not alone anymore because of you. I've grown with you at my side. We've grown together and I don't think I'll ever want to stop growing with you. Even an old you with gray hair and wrinkles that show off all of the million times I've gotten to bask in your smile." Jungwoo gasps and one of his hands slips from Mark's to cover his mouth as his misty eyes spill over.
Mark pushes off from the counter then and as soon as Jungwoo steps back to give him room Mark sinks down to one knee. A sob escapes Jungwoo but his eyes are still crinkled at the corners from his wide smile hidden by his hand. They still twinkle and warm Mark through and through and through. Mark produces the cardboard ring and Jungwoo lets out a wet laugh that ends on another sob.
"Mark." It's a plea and a bit of a whine and it is full of love. It spurs Mark on.
"Kim Jungwoo, with your kind heart and your warm soul, will you marry me?" Jungwoo is giggling and nodding before the last word is spoken. Mark takes the hand he is holding, thankfully the left, and pulls it down to gingerly slip the cardboard ring onto Jungwoo's ring finger. Jungwoo continues to giggle as Mark looks up at him and kisses the cardboard adorning his hand.
Jungwoo pulls him up to stand and crashes into Mark, pressing him against the counter. They kiss until they can smell the pizza burning and Feliz Navidad repeats enough times to sober their desperation and calm the mood. Jungwoo helps Mark remove the pizza pies without burning himself and Jungwoo cuts them into slices while Mark wraps his arms around his torso and rests his head on his shoulder. Jungwoo's free hand rests on Marks interlocking arms and his fingers rub circles into Mark's skin.
"Do you really mean it?" Jungwoo asks, quiet, thinking. Mark nods, digging his chin into Jungwoo until he swats at his arms in indignation.
"I mean it with everything in me Jungwoo. I want to love you for the rest of my life. I've been thinking about it for a while but I think we should go together to pick out the ring." Jungwoo nods at his words and continues to cut the pizza, perhaps a bit too thoroughly.
"You said the pizza was for new year's." Jungwoo states and Mark makes a noise in agreement. "You were going to propose on new year's." Mark again confirms his words.
"But I decided today is too perfect. Despite my mother's phone call. Today has been perfect." Mark presses his lips to the back of Jungwoo's shoulder and moves to get the plates out in an attempt to stop him from cutting their pizzas to ribbons instead of slices. Jungwoo places the pizza cutter on the counter realizing he's gone a bit too far and he watches Mark as he divys out the food.
"I'm going to love you forever too, Mark." Jungwoo's words are fond and Mark looks up to answer with a smile. Jungwoo is grinning, his teeth gleaming white. "I'm gonna marry you so hard Mark Lee." he teases and it makes Mark's cheeks redden as he shoves the fuller plate at Jungwoo.
"We're about to watch Polar Express. Wholesome hour is upon us you heathen." Mark chides him. Jungwoo takes his plate and leans up to place a lingering kiss on the corner of Mark's mouth.
"Fine. No telling what will happen once wholesome hour is up though. Better start working out how you're going to protect your virtue." Jungwoo laughs at his own joke as he sashays to the couch and grabs the remote. Mark looks up toward the ceiling to give his heart a moment before joining him. They stream the movie on Netflix and snuggle into each other once the pizza is gone.
And they are together.
And that's kind of everything.