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The first time Sammy leaves Amnesty Lodge, he goes somewhere called the mall.
Ben says the word with the usual cheerful enthusiasm that Sammy has grown to expect from him over the past four days, where Ben has done nothing but chatter with him about Earth.
Jack says the word with a shudder, though Sammy thinks he’s feigning it as a joke.
Well, mostly. The mall does have, as Jack warned on the way here, far too many people.
Sammy’s met a few more people in Amnesty over the past few days. A married couple named Mary and Tim, and a woman named Katie. A few other faces waved at him in the common room when Jack showed him around the lodge, but mostly Sammy’s stuck to his new room.
Jack helped Sammy up two flights of stairs to a room that was a little smaller than Jack’s but much airier, with two huge windows that looked out onto the mountain face that the lodge was built into. Jack, from the doorway with an anxious smile, told Sammy about six times that if he didn’t like this room, there were more.
The only thing Sammy doesn’t like about the room is that it’s two floors away from Jack’s, and the comforter is red and not yellow.
Sammy has spent of his time in bed, half because his injuries make it difficult to move, and half because he’s a bit scared that he’s wasted all of his luck on Jack and Ben and none of the other Sylvans there will like him. Sammy has had terrible luck with his own kind, generally speaking. Still, Mary and Tim and had been sweet and lovely, and Mary brought him lotion for his back.
And even if every Sylvan in the lodge hated him, Sammy thinks it would be a fair trade-off for the warmth he feels when Jack and Ben are around. The two of them have been trading off spending time in his room with him, but Sammy doesn’t think it’s just because they’re worried about changing his bandages.
They brought him to the mall, after all. And by all accounts, Jack does not like the mall.
“Welcome to hell,” Jack declares with a wry grin as the three of them walk through the doorway into the truly too large, too square building. Ben had driven them there, Sammy wincing at every turn, but Jack had held onto his knee and explained how vehicles are mostly safe.
Sammy automatically steps closer to Jack in the doorway, taking note of two floors’ worth of human beings going in and out of various storefronts with bags. Sammy feels like an imposter, suspecting the humans will all turn and be able to tell he isn’t one of them.
“Shut up,” Ben reaches over Sammy to swat at Jack’s shoulder. Well, elbow. Ben is a lot shorter than Jack. Sammy’s glad he’s somewhere between them, height-wise. He’s picked up on the fact that he’s tall for a human, but Jack is very tall, and Ben is very short. It’s a point of contention between them, or at least a reason to tease each other.
Ben looks up at Sammy, sighing dismally and overdramatically. “Jack hates the mall because he hates fun.”
“Untrue,” Jack’s hand, light on Sammy’s shoulder, guides him further into the mall. The building is all in greys and whites, playing some cheerful music underneath the quiet roar of human voices. “It’s just that it's going to be so busy today because it’s their summer sales event.”
“Exactly! That’s why we had to come today. I have coupons,” Ben beams, and Sammy can’t help but smile back. “We’ve got to get you some new clothes so that you’re no longer cursed with the distinctly unfashionable wardrobe of Jack Wright.”
Sammy plays with the hem of the sweatshirt he’s wearing – Jack’s sweatshirt. Jack should be able to get his clothes back, but Sammy likes the soft fabric, old with years of use, and how it smells like Jack’s room.
“Well, c’mon,” Jack waves a hand in Ben’s direction, which seems to be all the cue Ben needs. He grabs Sammy’s hand – Sammy is pretty sure that hand-grabbing is much more a Ben trait than a human one – and pulls him deeper into the mall. Sammy glances behind him to make sure Jack’s still following, which he is, one of his long paces matching two of Ben’s. It seems to be purposeful, if his grin at Sammy is anything to go by.
“First up, Claire’s,” Ben says solemnly as they approach a garishly purple storefront full of, at Sammy’s best approximation, a gaggle of small human children with their parents.
“Why?” Jack echoes Sammy’s thoughts exactly.
Ben stares up at them like they’re stupid. “Ponytail holders. I need to see your face when we have a conversation! Don’t worry, I’ll just get the black ones. Unless you want a multi-color pack –”
“Black is fine,” Sammy says quickly, knowing immediately that he is not a multi-color pack from Claire’s kind of person. He also knows with equal certainty that Ben is a multi-color pack from Claire’s kind of person.
“You can stay here, I’ll be right back,” Ben pats Sammy’s elbow emphatically before practically whizzing into the store. Sammy has, without a doubt, never met anyone with as much excess energy as Ben.
“Everything going okay?” Jack’s hand hasn’t left Sammy’s shoulder. Sammy leans into him, mostly without meaning to. A family with two small children pushes past them. “This isn’t too much, is it?”
“It’s fine,” Sammy reassures him. “It’s somehow less pressure than Amnesty – this is a lot of people, but they don’t expect me to talk to them.”
Jack laughs quietly, brown eyes bright when they meet Sammy’s. Sammy has brown eyes now, too. It’s maybe his new favorite color. “I understand completely.”
Jack starts talking about the mall’s summer sales event with a world-weary sigh, and Sammy pays more attention to the even cadences of his voice and how he talks with his hands than the actual words he’s saying. Sammy knows he doesn’t need to understand the summer sales event, and there will be no quiz later.
He does find time to look at the other humans, even though Jack takes up most of his attention. He can’t help but notice that no one gives him a second glance. He blends in completely with humans.
Sammy rubs his bracelet, perfectly fitted against his wrist, and sends a silent thank you to whatever force in the universe brought him to Jack. And Ben, too, who Sammy notices is at the Claire’s counter with far more than just ponytail holders in his small hands. Sammy has never believed in much, and probably still doesn’t, but just in case there’s someone who deserves the credit for how rapidly Sammy’s life has changed, he can spare a thank you.
“I got scrunchies and headbands, too,” Ben declares as he zooms back to them, a satisfied grin on his face as he holds the packages up for Sammy to look at. “I can’t wait to see what your face actually looks like.”
Jack smiles, and Sammy tries not to blush. No one’s ever really wanted to look at Sammy’s face before, and Sammy hadn’t wanted anyone to see him either. His long hair was the second line of defense – he’d always folded his wings in front of his body instead of behind when he wanted to disappear.
Now, that wasn’t an option. And Ben is pulling out a small black circle with an eager look in his eye.
“Don’t yank his hair,” Jack chides as Ben reaches up to pull Sammy’s hair back. Sammy leans down obligingly, both because he can’t say no, and……because he doesn’t really want to say no. Ben’s attached himself to Sammy’s side in the past four days, and Sammy’s already forgotten what a world without Ben is like.
He’s just so bright and chipper, enthusiasm for literally everything rubbing off on Sammy. Sammy wants to be just as enthusiastic about Ben in return, in exchange for the optimism and cheerfulness that’s rubbed off on him. And because he just likes Ben, and thinks Ben was right – they should be friends. They’re maybe already friends.
And apparently part of being friends with Ben is letting him take part in the mall’s summer sales event.
“How’s that?” Ben asks as he tightens the ponytail’s grip on Sammy’s hair. Sammy can’t tell what it looks like without a mirror, but Ben positioned it in the middle of his head a little too firmly. He moves his head back and forth seeing if it will loosen, and it doesn’t.
“Here,” Jack says, stepping in front of Ben to loosen the ponytail completely. Sammy’s hair falls back to his shoulders. “Ben says I don’t know fashion, but I know this much.”
“Don’t give him a manbun, oh my God, that’s my least favorite fashion trend of all time. And he has such nice hair! It’s so pretty! Jack, don’t do this to him.”
Jack grins at Sammy as he pulls his hair up a little higher, and coils it together and instead of lengthening it, looping it around the ponytail holder twice instead of three times.
“Better?” Jack asks, and Sammy thinks he might be imagining the slight embarrassment in Jack’s voice as he steps away.
“It’s a little more comfortable,” Sammy says truthfully, before turning to Ben. “I don’t know about the fashion, but….”
Ben sighs, and steps pointedly on Jack’s foot. Jack doesn’t even wince. “You look fine, unfortunately. But if the ponytail holder is too tight, we can try scrunchies later. The important thing is that now I can see your eyes! Hi!”
Ben leans into Sammy’s side like a hug. Sammy hugs back, a little bemused. Ben, along with being enthusiastic, is extremely tactile. Jack has touched Sammy plenty too, but that’s been primarily out of necessity, and Jack’s a lot more hesitant about it. Probably because of his injuries, which Ben periodically forgets about.
“Careful,” Jack says to Ben, because Jack never forgets about Sammy’s injuries. He was the one who made them bearable to live with instead of a death sentence. Jack smiles when he meets Sammy’s eye, though. “I think you look great.”
“Of course you do,” Ben shakes his head as he pulls on Sammy’s shirtsleeve down the wide, crowded hallway. “Tell me to stop if you see anything you want! Otherwise we’ll go to American Eagle. Don’t let Jack stop anywhere, he shops exclusively at Old Navy and various sporting goods stores. Disgusting.”
“I’m not really sure what that means,” Sammy says truthfully, though he keeps following Ben all the same.
“Well, Old Navy is not disgusting, for one thing. That’s a matter of Ben’s opinion,” Jack says from Sammy’s other side, clearly having to work to keep up even though Ben is so small. He’s just fast.
“Do not listen to Jack. Half of his wardrobe is more than a decade old. The only way he might be considered fashionable is in, like, an outdoorsman magazine that featured exclusively former high school athletes who burned out as soon as they graduated.”
“Hey –”
“I still don’t know what this means,” Sammy feels the need to point out. He can put a lot together from context clues, but he isn’t sure what a magazine is, and that feels important.
“It’s okay – we’re sorry,” Jack says, giving Ben a look. Ben even slows down to shoot apologetic eyes at Sammy. He has green eyes, far too big considering how small his face is in comparison.
“It’s just banter,” Ben promises Sammy, patting his arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you all caught up on Earth literacy soon. Most Sylvans who come here have a fair amount already because of the history of the gate, how much do you –”
“We’ll talk about this later,” Jack interrupts gently, his hand on Sammy’s shoulder again. The three of them have practically slowed to a stop in the middle of the mall. “It’s okay not to know a lot right now. How about I run to the food court and get you a smoothie, Sammy? I’ll meet you guys at American Eagle in a little bit. That way Ben doesn’t have to put up with my dreadful lack of fashion knowledge.”
Jack rolls his eyes as he says it, so Sammy knows he’s still teasing. The thought of Jack leaving makes Sammy anxious, though – what if Jack is just dying to get away? Go be a normal human in the mall without Sammy there to not understand anything?
Those are just his insecurities talking, Sammy knows, because Jack literally said he would go get Sammy a smoothie. And Sammy likes smoothies – Jack’s been making them for him at the lodge, even though he can mostly eat normally now. But there isn’t such a thing as a smoothie on Sylvain. Humans really do think of everything.
“Okay, we’ll see you soon,” Sammy says when it becomes clear that Ben’s waiting for him to respond. He’s rewarded with a brief hug from Jack. His head fits just underneath Jack’s chin.
“Be right back,” Jack waves before he heads in the other direction.
“I’m sorry,” Ben takes a hold of Sammy’s wrist again, keeping them walking but at a much more subdued pace. “I know that I can come across as sort of…invasive. But I’m just curious.”
“It’s okay, Ben,” Sammy says, hating the way Ben’s shoulders have slumped, making him look even smaller. “I – I don’t know much about Earth. I didn’t live in the city, or really…with any kind of community. So my cultural knowledge of Earth is a little lacking. You’ll just have to teach me, okay?”
Sharing even the smallest amount of his life on Sylvain makes Sammy dizzy, but it’s worth it for the big, watery smile Ben gives him.
“I’d like that,” Ben says, and though Sammy doesn’t say it out loud, he thinks he’ll like that, too.
Ben tugs him into a store with a bird emblem on the outside. Sammy knows that his wings might be a close approximation to an eagle’s wings, and it makes him feel a little like an imposter again. Ben doesn’t seem to notice, but his enthusiasm as he paws through the men’s side of the store is infectious.
Ben does notice that Sammy is avoiding the dressing room, and promises he just has to try on one version of each thing, and then they’ll just buy a bunch in the same style.
Within half an hour, Sammy has been laden down with three sweatshirts, five t-shirts, three long-sleeved t-shirts, six pairs of jeans, and a pair of shoes, black with green laces, the exact pair Ben’s currently wearing.
“We’ll match!” Ben’s face split into a huge grin, and Sammy couldn’t say no to that, could he?
Ben finishes paying for everything at the counter, Sammy happy to be slouching behind him in Jack’s overlarge sweatshirt again, when a melodic voice calls from the entrance to the store. “Benny!”
Sammy turns, though not as quickly as Ben, who practically trips over his own feet even though he’s standing still. A girl – well, woman – with curly dark hair and wearing a blue dress, hurries toward Ben to embrace him for half a second before springing away, biting her lip.
“What are you doing here?” The woman asks, and Sammy can’t help but notice how Ben’s eyes have zoned out and, for a change, he’s lost for words.
Sammy delicately clears his throat. The woman turns to him with curious, warm eyes. Brown, Sammy’s favorite color.
“Oh!” Ben springs back into his usual enthusiasm, though his laugh is nervous instead of certain. “Um, sorry. I’m being so rude. Emily, this is Sammy. Sammy, this is Emily. Sammy is a new guest at Amnesty, and he didn’t have enough clothes so...shopping trip!”
“It’s lovely to meet you,” Emily reaches a hand out, and Sammy stares for a second before remembering that he’s supposed to shake it. “You’ll have to stop by the Cryptonomica sometime soon.”
“Oh, we’d love to!” Ben says, his eyes up at Sammy practically pleading. “Emily works with Ron, Sammy. Y’know, Ron?”
Sammy doesn’t know Ron, per se, but he does know Ron is a member of the Pine Guard. That makes him confident enough to nod at Emily. “Yeah. Right. Ron. Um, I’d love to see the – what was it, again?”
“Cryptonomica,” Emily says, and Sammy hopes that’s not a word he’s expected to know. “It’s just a little roadside museum dedicated to the strange and paranormal, but I run the Lamplighter Magazine from there. Benny stops by to help out all the time, so just tag along! The guests at Amnesty are always so wonderful, and helpful, too.”
There’s that word again. Magazine. Shit.
“We’ll stop as soon as Sammy’s settled,” Ben says like a promise, and Emily beams at him.
“I know you will, Benny,” Emily leans in, but she only kisses Ben on the cheek. That doesn’t stop a red flush from spreading from Ben’s cheek down to his neck, though. “I have to run, I’m just picking up some Tupperware for my mom. It was great to meet you, Sammy. And give Jack my love!”
“Will do,” Ben croaks after her as Emily heads out of the store, waving back at them until she disappears into the throng of people.
“Benny,” Sammy says, heaving the shopping bags off of the floor in hopes that it will get Ben to notice that he can’t possibly carry all of them. Ben stares into the middle distance, unaware. “Is that your nickname?”
“No, no, absolutely not,” Ben corrects, and quickly grabs two bags from Sammy’s outstretched hands.
“So only Emily can call you Benny?”
Ben nods, not making eye contact.
“Is she your….” Sammy trails off, trying to think. “I don’t know the right word for it. Partner?”
“Girlfriend,” Ben says, then quickly corrects, “Not that she is! My girlfriend. That’s just. The word you were looking for. Girlfriend or boyfriend. Or partner works, too, I guess, it’s just less common. Significant other. Emily is none of these things. At least not to me. Those are just – just the words.”
“But…. you want her to be,” Sammy guesses, and Ben sighs up at him morosely.
“Yes, Mr. Insight!” Ben half-scowls, but Sammy knows it’s not serious. “You cannot tell Jack about this. He’ll never let me live it down. C’mon, I have no idea where he could’ve disappeared to. There must’ve been a mile-long line for that smoothie.”
They don’t have to go far to find Jack, who’s just sitting outside the American Eagle store on a bench, a cup that must be Sammy’s smoothie in one of his hands, and a small bag in the other. He’s smirking over at Ben, though, and Ben deflates.
“Did I just see the lovely Miss Emily Potter run by?” Jack asks as he stands.
“Shut up! Don’t embarrass me in front of Sammy.”
“Because you’ve already embarrassed yourself enough today?”
Jack laughs as Ben pouts up at him, before he turns to Sammy with a slight grin as he holds the contents in his hands up. “Here, let me take your bags. Did you find everything you wanted?”
“It was alright,” Sammy says, not sharing that he prefers the sweatshirt he’s wearing right now. “Ben bought – what did you get for yourself again, Ben?”
“Cologne,” Ben says half under his breath, which sets off another round of teasing from Jack.
Sammy just takes his smoothie from Jack’s hands and sips. It’s much sweeter than the ones Jack’s been making him at Amnesty, but it tastes good. Fruity.
“What else did you get?” Ben interrupts Jack’s commentary about the various reasons Ben’s made up to disappear to the Cryptonomica when he should be doing laundry. He nods at the small bag still slung around Jack’s wrist.
“Oh,” Jack’s shoulders scrunch slightly, like he’s a little self-conscious. “That’s just – I just got something for Sammy.”
“You didn’t have to,” Sammy says, figuring that it’s something like ointment for his injuries. He doesn’t need Jack to go out of his way for that. “You guys are already getting me several bags’ worth of new clothes –”
“Those are necessities,” Jack says, and he doesn’t look at Sammy as he fumbles with the bag before he pulls out something small that fits in the palm of his hand. “This is just – a gift.”
He steps closer, keeping whatever the thing is in his hand, but extending it so that Sammy can see. Sammy, feeling an emotion he can’t name, steps closer.
It’s a tiny little object, the top part made of a sphere of glass and the bottom a green and brown base that’s clearly meant to keep the sphere aloft. Inside the sphere, there’s a little scene. Mountains and trees, and a few little pieces seemingly meant to be buildings. Sammy can’t tell what the inside is made of, but it’s clearly carefully constructed.
There are words along the base that Sammy squints to read: Welcome to Kepler.
“It’s a snow globe,” Jack says quietly. “You shake it like this –”
He moves his hand up and down rapidly. Sammy almost tells him to stop or he’ll break it.
Then he sees the little white flakes falling around the tiny mountainous scenery.
“It’s for your room,” Jack tells him, voice almost hushed. “So….so maybe you’ll feel more like this place is home.”
Sammy can feel his eyes well up with tears. He does his best to stare down at the snow globe instead of at Jack or Ben. He’s sure they’ve both noticed, though.
Sammy can’t remember the last time someone gave him a gift, just because. The clothes are necessary, the smoothie is food and therefore also necessary – but this is something Jack saw, and thought Sammy would like, that Sammy had no expectation whatsoever of receiving.
“Thank you,” Sammy whispers, realizing he’s gone too long without saying anything.
Jack holds the snow globe out to him. Sammy’s so worried he’s going to break it, his hands practically shake, but Jack keeps it secure and helps Sammy fold his hands around it, too. Jack’s hands are warm.
Ben interrupts, voice affectionate. “Herschel is so gonna accuse you of playing favorites.”
Sammy sets the snow globe on his nightstand the second he gets home.
Ben explained snow in the car on the way. Sammy’s familiar with the general concept, though he’s never actually seen snow in person before. Ben’s already promised they’ll go sledding in winter. Jack says something about skiing before Ben threatens to disown him because they don’t talk about the devil sport in summer.
Sammy doesn’t think he’ll ever shake the snow globe. He doesn’t want to risk breaking it. it’s so small and fragile, and he’s almost worried about keeping it in the same room as him in general. What if something accidentally happens to knock it off his dresser? Sammy thinks he’d probably cry.
Home, Jack had said, and he was right. It feels like his room when he sets the snow globe down. It’s his room that has possessions that he owns. Things that Jack and Ben got for him. A reminder that he has a place with other people now.
Sammy hasn’t lived with anyone since he was an adolescent. He hasn’t just lacked a community – he hasn’t had anyone, in years and years.
Welcome to Kepler, Sammy runs a finger down the glass sphere.
He puts away his new clothes in the small closet across from his bed, but they all feel a little too starchy and stiff. Jack’s sweatshirt is well-worn, and just as warm as Jack is, and Sammy doesn’t want to stop wearing it. But Jack will probably want it back, won’t he? Now that Sammy has his own things?
He could ask to keep it. He knows Jack would give him the sweatshirt if he asked, but Sammy doesn’t want to explain how new clothes don’t make him feel nearly at home as Jack does.
There’s a rapid-fire knock on his door. Sammy can tell in an instant that it’s Ben.
“Hi,” Ben pokes his head in the room when Sammy says he can come in. “I was just wondering – and you can say no if you’re tired – but I thought that maybe I could teach you how to play Monopoly? It’s an Earth game. We play it a lot here at Amnesty. Tim already said he wanted to play, so that’s at least three of us.”
He smiles expectantly, and Sammy finds any resolve he has melting away.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Sammy finds himself grinning back. He already knows it’s going to be impossible to say no to anything Ben asks him to do, possibly ever. “…Will Jack play?”
Ben grins. “If Jack knows you’re playing, Jack will play.”
“Okay,” Sammy says, figuring that if he’s going to brave the common room of Amnesty Lodge, there’s no better time to do it than now. And that he probably should get a few questions off of his chest now, too, while the bravery is still intact. “Um, Ben?”
“Yeah?”
“What does magazine mean?”