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Sincerity

Summary:

Six times the hyungs hoped their kisses would say what their words couldn't.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

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“So how was it today?"

“Hm?”

Jooheon gave Changkyun a gentle prompting shove to pull his head out of the clouds. When his only dongsaeng had come into his room earlier and laid down with him on his bed, he’d assumed it was for them to talk about the events of the day, but the maknae seemed distracted. 

“With your friends. Must’ve been nice to hang out with them again.”

Changkyun smiled to himself after a moment.

“Yeah, it was really nice.”

Something in Jooheon twinged. He felt a rush of possessiveness that he tried his best to ignore. His best friend was allowed to have other friends, wasn't he? He was certainly allowed to hang out with said friends, who Jooheon had to begrudgingly admit were really cool. After all, Changkyun had met them when he’d been more into the underground rap scene, and they didn't get to see each other often.

Jooheon couldn't help feeling his expression soften as he watched Changkyun's thoughts reclaim his attention. The maknae absentmindedly played with the strings of Jooheon's hoodie. He was still just a kid, but he'd already managed to live a life and a half before they'd even met.

The thought of anyone knowing Changkyun like this before him brought about that sharp, familiar pull of jealousy in the older.

“I... nevermind," Changkyun began and then dismissed suddenly, rolling onto his back to look at the ceiling. Jooheon had been meaning to stick some of those glow-in-the-dark stars up there for a while now. They might help him with his fear of the dark a little.

“What?”

Changkyun shook his head.

”What is it?” He grinned, giving the maknae’s tummy a teasing poke.

Changkyun batted his hand away and covered his mouth with a sweater paw to hide one of his bashful smiles, and Jooheon could’ve cried. Why'd their maknae have to be so cute?

“But it’s embarrassing.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Changkyun rolled over to face Jooheon again, this time trying his hardest to avoid eye contact. He focused on something in the space between the two of them on the bed.

“They... My friends were talking about their girlfriends and stuff,” Changkyun started quietly, the tips of his ears beginning to redden. “And they were teasing me because I told them I never had my first kiss.”

Jooheon didn’t know why he was surprised to hear this. He'd just been lamenting over it. They all lamented over it quite often, actually; how young Changkyun was when he got started in the industry. If there was one thing he could be sure of, it was that the kid had probably been working hard on his career even during any free time he would’ve had during the time others would’ve started looking for partners, so it actually made perfect sense. 

Jooheon also didn’t know why he was so happy to hear it.

“Is that all? You shouldn't worry about that. Even idols Shownu-hyung’s age haven’t dated anyone yet.”

Changkyun had fallen into one of his signature silences, back to playing with the strings of Jooheon’s hoodie. Jooheon's heart was fluttering.

“You really haven’t, though?” He asked with a wry smile. Changkyun glanced up at the older, pulling the most precious pout.

“Hyung, not you too...”

“I’m not teasing you. I’m just asking."

“Haven't found anyone special yet, I guess.”

Jooheon nodded. He had to bite back a hopeful smile because of the maknae's choice of words. Anyone?  He wondered if “anyone special” would include him, Changkyun's favorite hyung, by any stretch of the imagination.

“And I know how childish it sounds, but I just wish I could get it over with though, you know? So I can stop worrying about it.”

Aish, this kid really made it too easy...

Jooheon leaned down a little to meet Changkyun’s gaze. He wanted to search Changkyun’s eyes for permission, because if he had to ask aloud, he might lose his nerve.

Finding no immediate distress in the youngest, he brought himself even closer to his face until he was able to turn his head slightly, gently pressing his lips to Changkyun’s.

It wasn’t like they’d never kissed each other before. Never on the lips, of course, but there were plenty of times where they'd given each other playful pecks on the forehead and cheeks. Jooheon was fond of giving the youngest kisses on the back of the hand when he wanted to show off the mere fact that he could to the other hyungs.

This wasn’t a playful peck, though. Jooheon wanted it to be something small. Something gentle. Changkyun deserved as much.

He pulled away after a moment to take in his best friend’s expression, just to make sure he hadn’t ruined anything.

The boy was surprised, certainly, but he didn’t look like he’d hated it. Quite the opposite.

“There.”

Jooheon leaned forward again, this time resting his forehead against the maknae’s.

“Now quit worrying about it.”

-

"I'm really sorry, Changkyun."

"It's not your fault, hyung. I was standing right in your way," Changkyun chuckled, adjusting the ice pack held against his cheek. They'd been in the middle of rehearsing some new choreography when Hyungwon hit Changkyun square in the face with his elbow. It had knocked the maknae off his feet, and although it did disorient him for a moment, he was more embarrassed than anything else. Being clumsy and unaware of his surroundings was one thing, but Hyungwon thinking it was his fault made the whole ordeal a lot worse. He didn't want his hyung to feel bad about it, seeing as it was clearly an accident. Although a small part of him wanted to be petulant and pouty about it, he didn’t want Hyungwon to be upset.

He could at least be glad that the other hyungs hadn’t been there to see it. Hyungwon was similiarly just as glad. Surely they would've ganged up on him if they'd seen him assault their maknae like he did.

"I should've been more careful. We have all this room to practice and I still managed to hit you," Hyungwon admitted, squeezing Changkyun's shoulder. "I'm really sorry."

"Hyung," the boy dismissed, pushing his shoulder. "I told you it's okay."

Hyungwon searched his expression and body language for any signs of further discomfort. He knew getting knocked to the ground probably didn’t do the boy any favors either, but thankfully Changkyun didn’t seem to be hurt anywhere else.

Hyungwon gestured to the his ice pack.

"Can I see?”

Changkyun blinked at him, reluctant.

“Please? Hyung wants to make sure it’s not serious.”

Changkyun relented, slowly moving the pack away, feeling his skin prickling with the temperature change. He watched Hyungwon's expression darken, and he knew that he probably already had a bruise forming.

"I'm sorry if the hyungs try to fight you," he offered quietly.

Hyungwon snorted.

"Let them deck me if they want. I deserve it."

Hyungwon knew he was in for it because he knew exactly what he would do if one of the other hyungs brought Changkyun home with a bruised face. If the others adored the kid even half as much as Hyungwon did they'd kick his ass. On top of that, they would never let him live it down since he was usually the one getting after them when they were mean to the youngest. 

"We don't have to tell them. I'll say I ran into a door or something," Changkyun suggested, and Hyungwon bit back a smile, because he really raised a kid who was willing to lie to protect him, but the sentiment also made him anxious. 

"You're too good, kid," Hyungwon praised quietly, petting Changkyun's hair. "But we should just tell them what happened. You shouldn't lie to your hyungs about how you get hurt, alright? Even if it gets someone in trouble."

The youngest's shoulders slumped a little, but Hyungwon knew he would listen.

"Okay, hyung."

Hyungwon gestured to the boy's reddened cheekbone. He was mostly worried about the pain and swelling. They could cover any discoloration with makeup, but that wouldn't do the boy much good if he was miserable with discomfort.

"Does it hurt?"

Changkyun started to shake his head, but there was just enough hesitation that Hyungwon countered with a sympathetic head-tilt. The only comfort he could think to offer in the moment seemed a bit silly, but he was still willing to try it. He leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against Changkyun's tender cheekbone. He could feel the cooled skin, could feel the gentle glowing warmth of the youngest everywhere else. He lingered for perhaps a moment longer than necessary, but he really couldn't help himself. If nothing else it could give the boy something else to think about besides his aching face. He didn't want to make it theatrical. He didn't exaggerate the sound or the movement of it. He just wanted it to do its job of comforting the boy.

When he pulled back, Changkyun had the beginnings of a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. He quickly covered the spot Hyungwon had just kissed with the ice pack to hide the rush of color he could feel coming to his cheeks.

"Feel better?"

Changkyun looked away, nodding sheepishly. Hyungwon kept a hand rested on the back of the youngest's head.

"Good. You wanna get dinner? Hyung will pay."

"You don't have to," Changkyun piped up, looking up at him.

"C'mon, I want to."

"But people are gonna wonder about it."

Changkyun tapped one of the fingers holding the ice pack.

"So? You're still cute."

"Hyung," the boy whined. Hyungwon moved his hand from Changkyun's head to take his free hand and lead him out of the practice room.

"If you're that worried about it we can order takeout to your studio. Hyung wants you all to himself anyway."

Changkyun slapped his ice pack onto the back of Hyungwon's neck out of embarrassment, but all Hyungwon could think about was how the maknae's hand felt in his.

-

Minhyuk had just laid down for a quick nap when he heard it. There was the sound of soft crunching coming from the living room, and he knew right away that it would be worth investigating, especially if he could get some sort of treat out of it.

He rolled out of bed and crept into the hallway. He rounded the corner into the living room and found the maknae perched on the couch, regarding Minhyuk with caution as he tightened his grip on the bag of chips in his lap. An easy target, Minhyuk decided.

The older approached and held out his hand, expecting their normally generous maknae to share his snack with him.

He was met with a cold stare.

“Can I have some?” Minhyuk requested, tilting his head.

Changkyun held the chip bag closer to his chest. He shook his head.

“Why not? I always share with you,” Minhyuk reasoned, stepping closer. Changkyun turned his body inward toward the couch to keep the bag out of Minhyuk's immediate reach.

It was unusual for Changkyun to refuse to share his food with any hyung, especially Minhyuk. Oftentimes they didn’t even need to ask. He would usually offer them a bite or two on his own, or they could help themselves without much trouble.

“Hoseokie-hyung bought me these,” Changkyun reasoned, eyebrows already drawn together in a concerned glare. Minhyuk couldn't help chuckling.

"I buy you snacks too, don't I?"

Changkyun shook his head again.

“C’mon, just one?”

He did his best to give the youngest a pleading puppy dog stare, and Changkyun seemed to relent, reaching into the bag and extracting a singular chip. Minhyuk reached out to take it, but the youngest suddenly brought it up to his mouth and held it delicately between his lips, teasingly offering it to the older with a small grin.

He figured this was supposed to be payback. He’d done something similar to Changkyun countless times, using food to entice the boy to kiss him. The kid always pouted at him or frowned instead of taking the bait, though.

Funny how it didn’t work the other way around.

Minhyuk quickly took a seat next to Changkyun on the couch. He leaned in without hesitation, hands on the boy’s shoulders to hold him in place while he brought their faces together, his lips brushing Changkyun’s as the youngest let go of the chip out of shock.

Just as quickly, Minhyuk leaned back, smirking as he crunched down on his prize. The maknae was dumbfounded, covering his mouth with his sleeve as he blinked at the older.

“Can I have another?” He asked coyly, delighted by the light blush dusting Changkyun’s cheeks. The youngest was now adorably sulky, easily offering the rest of the bag to Minhyuk as he huffed, turning his body away.

Minhyuk took the bag, setting it on the coffee table in front of them.

“I didn’t mean the chips.”

-

Kihyun entered the living room with a laundry basket full of damp shirts. He was in the mood to get some chores done during some of their meager, precious free time, and laundry had been piling up all week. He wanted to hang the t-shirts out on the drying racks they kept unfolded by the couch, seeing as it was one of the few places in the dorm with enough room and airflow to do so. As he entered, he caught sight of Changkyun curled up on the cushions, apparently napping.

He smiled to himself, trying his best to be quiet as he set the basket down next to the drying rack. If it had been anyone else sleeping nearby he wouldn't have tried so hard to be quiet, but he knew the youngest was like him, and was quite sensitive to noises in his sleep.

The older busied himself with hanging the shirts. Every couple of minutes, he would glance back at the youngest to make sure he wasn't bothering him, but Changkyun appeared quite content as he slumbered away, lying on his side with his face obscured from view. Kihyun felt a swell of affection in his chest that almost hurt as he listened for the boy's quiet breathing.

Once he had hung all the shirts, he turned his full attention to the youngest. When he rounded the couch to get a better look, he realized that there appeared to be an article of clothing tucked beneath Changkyun's head. More than that, the kid had nuzzled his face into the fabric of it, clung to it. The lower half of his face was hidden among the bunching of the dark gray fabric.

Kihyun couldn't help cracking a smile when he realized that the article of clothing in question was a hoodie that belonged to him. He'd been looking for it when he started doing laundry, but gave up on finding it once he'd found enough laundry to fill the washer for its first load.

He noted the sleeve hanging off the edge of the couch. Surely he couldn't get the sweater away from the youngest without waking him, and he could absolutely wait until the kid woke up to get it back from him, but he still gave the sleeve an experimental tug.  

The sweater shifted slightly beneath the maknae's head, and he made the beginnings of a soft whine, his head lifting.

Kihyun quickly shushed him, laying a hand on the boy's head to push him back down.

"Hey, baby, it's just me. It's okay."

Changkyun cracked an eye open to peer at him from beneath his tousled bangs. Realizing why Kihyun was bugging him, he began to roll onto his back to free the sweater from beneath him. Kihyun stopped him, a hand on his shoulder.

"No, keep it," he coaxed. Changkyun didn't see the smug smile he wore when he said it because he'd already closed his eyes again, nestling back into his original position. He nuzzled the fabric, clearly finding some comfort in the smell of Kihyun that undoubtedly still lingered in the soft fibers.

It occurred to Kihyun that the maknae was probably sleeping with his hoodie because he actually wanted to sleep with Kihyun, and while Kihyun was busy, this had been Changkyun's next option.

The kid was adorable. Surely he had to know that.

"Go back to sleep," Kihyun soothed, gently rubbing and patting Changkyun's back. He kept up the ministrations for a while, since he also knew it was a great way to lull the kid back to sleep. Changkyun's breathing quickly evened out again. Aish, poor thing must've been wiped out.

When he was sure the youngest was fully asleep, the older laid a gentle kiss over Changkyun's eyebrow, exposed by the parting of his bangs.

He hoped the kid would dream about him while he went about doing laundry. Once he was done, he'd be sure to take the hoodie's place and give the kid what he really wanted.

-

“Aigoo, you’re so happy today, Changkyunnie.”

Changkyun giggled from next to Shownu while they walked. He'd been clinging to Shownu's arm since they left the dorm. Kihyun had sent them out to pick up some very specific ingredients for dinner. Well, he'd sent Shownu out. Changkyun had volunteered to come with him.

“Because I like going to the store with hyung,” Changkyun piped up, and Shownu, for all how admittedly dense he could be, was easily able to see Changkyun’s reddened ears and the adorable flush dusting his cheekbones. Sometimes he had trouble fathoming how much the boy seemed to adore him, but really, the feeling was mutual, so he was beginning to understand the way the kid would gaze at him in naked adoration at every opportunity.

"Because I buy you whatever you ask for too, right?" Shownu asked him with a chuckle. His tone was fond. The other hyungs liked to give him a hard time about how easily he gave in when the maknae asked him to buy him things, but he didn't ever think twice about it because he knew they all spoiled the kid in equal measure.

"Well not just that," Changkyun started, playing with Shownu's fingers as they rounded the street corner. The air was beginning to cool down. The sun had already set, and not many people were out, so they could be a little more free with their affection. "But mostly that."

Shownu bumped his elbow against the youngest to gently chide him.

"No, really, I like running errands with you, hyung."

Shownu easily moved his hand to intertwine his fingers with Changkyun's. The youngest had cold fingers and warm palms.

"I like running errands with you too, kid. You listen to me and you're always helpful and polite."

Changkyun couldn't help his flustered giggle, leaning on Shownu's shoulder. They stood at an intersection with hardly a car in sight. If Shownu were being perfectly honest, he was taking his time getting them to the store. 

“What am I gonna do... you’re so cute,” Shownu mumbled as they crossed the street, pulling the youngest along with him. Changkyun often got quite shy when the hyungs said things like that; when they praised him or showed him affection. He would get embarrassed but wouldn't reject any of it.

“I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had you to myself, hasn’t it?” the oldest smiled, and he knew exactly what his words would do to Changkyun, because right afterwards, the youngest was quite bashful and thoroughly flustered as he clung to Shownu's arm but refused to look up at him.

Shownu wasn't one to let a rush of affection go unexpressed, though. A s if it were the most natural thing in the world, he brought the boy's hand up to his lips and planted a kiss on the back of his hand. It contained a lot of feelings, but mostly devotion. Sincerity. Admiration. All the good things in between.

Changkyun looked dumbfounded, lightly hitting Shownu's chest.

"Hyung, we're in public," he whispered urgently, though he didn't pull his hand away from Shownu's. Shownu laughed, because even in the dim lighting of the street he could see the pink glow of the boy's cheeks.

“I’m sorry, baby, but it's just that I really like you."

He wondered if they'd have a lot of bags to carry on the way back, because he wanted Changkyun to cling to his arm like this on the walk home too.

-

"Would you ever be an actor, hyung?"

Wonho chuckled at the idea, putting an arm behind his head. His gaze drifted from the TV screen to the ceiling.

"Dunno. I don't think I'd be able to find any roles I'd want to play."

"But you're so good at it when we film music videos," Changkyun offered as he turned his head, running a hand through his hair beneath the hood of his sweater. Wonho reached over to rub the boy's shoulder.

"Well what about you? You're good too," he countered. He couldn't help that the drama series they were watching had put him in a cheesy mood. "You're my favorite part of our music videos."

Changkyun dismissed the comment with a small whine, shrugging Wonho's hand off his shoulder. Wonho stopped paying attention to the drama, watching Changkyun instead. The boy's face was obscured by his hood, but the older was hoping he'd at least made the maknae blush.

Changkyun as an actor, though? He thought about it for all of ten seconds before deciding that he wouldn't allow it. Not that he wouldn't want the boy to explore his options and possible career paths, because he would always support him in that aspect, but he worried too much about the drawbacks. For one thing, he knew that an actor's health suffered during the crazy hours they had to work to get dramas filmed, and for another thing, the maknae was handsome and charismatic, so he'd probably get cast a lot. Not to mention they'd probably pair him up with some pretty actresses and could Wonho handle seeing the maknae kissing a pretty girl on TV? Absolutely not.

Of course he already knew it was a blessing that the kid was so mellow and shy, but it really showed when he thought of scenarios like this. He couldn't see Changkyun accepting a drama proposal anyway, rather he might recommend one of his hyungs or one of their actor friends. 

Wonho didn't think to tell Changkyun any of this. He already told the boy how much he thought about him. He figured that was enough. Besides, he might get sulky if Wonho told him he couldn't do something, even if he wouldn't have done it anyway.

"It's time to go to bed, hyung."

Wonho blinked, drawn back to reality by Changkyun turning to look at him. He realized that the episode credits were rolling up onscreen. He quickly glanced the time on his phone.

"Already?" He asked, suddenly disappointed. They'd only managed to watch about four episodes, and it was only 11:30.

Changkyun yawned and stretched out next to him. Wonho always thought he looked like a kitten when he did things like that.

"Minhyuk-hyung wants me to start going to bed earlier, remember?" Changkyun reminded him. Wonho sat up next to him, petting down the boy's unruly bangs that poked out from beneath his hood.

He really didn't want the youngest to leave. He couldn't argue that the boy needed to go to bed, but it made him realize how he thought he'd get a little longer with the youngest before then.

Changkyun turned and made to get off Wonho's bed when the older grabbed his elbow, pulling the boy back down. He put his arms around Changkyun's middle.

"Stay."

Changkyun turned his head to look at Wonho, surprised by his hyung's sudden boldness.

"Please."

"You wanna watch another episode?" Changkyun asked, putting a hand on top of Wonho's.

"Or whatever. As long as you're here," Wonho murmured against Changkyun's shoulder. The younger could feel the warmth of Wonho's breath through the fabric of his sweater.

"But Minhyuk-hyung will be mad."

"He can be mad if he wants," Wonho replied lowly. He reached up and gently turned Changkyun's head to give him easier access. His other hand on the boy's chest, he guided him to lean back a little further into Wonho as the older pressed his lips against the maknae's. It was firm, but not rough, not startling. He knew he'd caught the younger off-guard with it by the way he froze for a brief moment, but he quickly relaxed in Wonho's arms. When Wonho pulled back, he watched as Changkyun blinked slowly at him.

"Stay, okay?"

"Okay," The youngest relented, voice soft. Wonho smiled, tilted the boy's head back a little, and went back in for a second kiss. Then a third. It was a while before they could get the next episode started, and a while longer before Wonho could send Minhyuk a dismissive text message.

He's mine.

Notes:

Here comes better days, my dears.