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Cypher never mulled on the past for long. To many interesting things in the now to worry about the things behind her. But these past few days were different, her thoughts constantly spiraling towards the things she chose not to remember, or towards the things she longed to forget. Every little moment seemed to spark a memory, a blatant thing she couldn't ignore.
It started in the morning, running through her training routine. One that had long since been embedded in her bones, so she did it without a second thought while the others slept. Her mind wandered as she pushed her muscles through the familiar routine. Thoughts of their current adventure slowly winding down to thoughts of the past. Ice pick swinging hard and hitting trees, her mind thought back to the days when such a feat was impossible. When her arms were far smaller, the axe far to big. Dad on his knees beside her as he assisted her holding it. Mainly him holding it with her hands on the handle. "Someday Cypher you'll swing this mighty axe on your own. And on that day, you'll fully be unstoppable." He smiled down at her, pickaxe looming tall above her, but him even higher under the noonday sun. And she smiled back, nodding in assured confidence at his words.
"Hey, Cypher. You okay?" She blinked, the memory gone in an instant as she refocused on the now. Deer standing off to the side, gently looking over Cypher. Her pick was lodged firmly in the tree before her, her hands still tight on the handle, but otherwise unmoving.
She coughs, quickly freeing the ice pick and tucking it away. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just practice. Nothing to worry about." Shaking off the memory under their watchful eye, she stepped away to pack up her share of the camp as the others started to wake from their slumber.
Traveling onwards through the woods, Cypher scratched the chin of her baby dragon. Slither purring under the touch as they relaxed on her shoulder. The gentle noise pulling a small smile to her face. After all who can let bad thoughts linger when the pet she always wanted was curled up content on her shoulder…. The pet she always wanted. “Dad please can I get one?” “I don’t know little one, pets are a lot of responsibility. And they would always be in danger of getting hurt. Do you really want to put them through that?” He would always respond kindly, reminding her that it wasn't a good idea, and he was right. Getting a pet like a cat or dog was to dangerous in their line of work. The little creature wouldn’t have much of a chance to protect themselves in a fight. Slither though, she could definitely hold her own. The fact that she was a familiar and didn’t reside only in this plane in this physical form helped a lot too with removing Cyphers worry of her dying in combat.
Travels along the dirt path cut through the trees reminded her too much of home. The home that was mainly on the road anyway. The days spent marching along with the members of the tribe as they searched for work. The times when home was so far, but actually still felt close with her people around her. The people she would be helping survive right now if it wasn’t for. No, now wasn't the time to chase that train of thought. Cypher took a deep breath, letting the smell of the woods fresh after a rain wash over her. Enjoying the happy memories that blossomed forth from the association. Her, Dad, and the member of the tribe. Their tribe. Happy after a long days work, weapons bloodied and pockets full from fulfilling the job requested, bellies were going to be filled that night. With probably more than just a decent meal, but with a haul like that mead would be involved.
She was stirred from her thoughts once again, as a pack of deer crossed their paths. What was at first assumed to be a peaceful passing, ended with the ground soaked copper and the few members of the herd scampering away in fear at their failed attempt to protect their lands. Odd that a herd of deer would become hostile, especially towards a group of adventures. But then again weirder things had supposedly happened in these woods, it's why they were there after all.
Continuing onwards, the small talk of the oddities in these woods distracted her from the worries of the past. Who can dwell on such thoughts when the world seemed to be slowly going insane around them? Cypher apparently, once the chatter of the deer died down, her mind began to wander again. The thought of oddities leading her mind towards the stranger things her family had done and encountered during their travels. Simple things like warforges frozen in ice caps, memories of long forgotten wars suspended in the one place they would never truly be forgotten. Or trees that were known to never grow taller than a house, despite being around for hundreds if not thousands of years. Little oddities and strange bits of magic that Cypher always overlooked and never second guessed, now wondering if they had to do with the current mystery at hand.
Pulling forth her dulcimer she started playing a little walking tune. Giving her hands and mind something to focus on and allowing the music to continue to move the party through the woods. That only distracted her for so long though, as her Water Genasi companion Kai picked up on the song, a simple tavern tune that Cypher played a lot, and she started to sing. Sending Cyphers hands to a slowing halt as she thought to the first time she heard the melodious watery pipes of a genasi sing. Back to her teacher Koi, out in the woods while her wound was still fresh.
Unconsciously raising a hand to her neck, fingers skirting the edge of the old wound, still leaving her tribal marks and skin far beyond recognition. “Music is a soothing thing. It has many purposes, the purpose different to every person. With you it might help you find some peace, or if not it might be able to help lull you to sleep or pay the bills when your work runs dry.” She shook her head, shaking away the calming voice that helped save her from ruin and focusing back on her music, they still had a few hours of daylight to kill. She wanted to get as far as possible before night fell again.
Gathered around the campfire that night, Cypher played her instrument softly, keeping herself out the others conversations. As they talked about love, family, and loss. Sore topics for the barbarian girl. After a bit she chuckled, the sudden noise from her cutting off the conversation. “You all hardly understand was loss is. The death of one family member, the death of one lover. The one who ran off, or the one who never came to your arms to begin with. Thats childs play.” She hit a sour note, causing the group to cringe a bit but keeping their eyes on her, as her words kept attention.
“Imagine losing your whole life in one fell swoop. Everything you ever knew, just ripped away with no chance of being reborn or rebuilt. A tale of wonder and sorrow. One sad enough to make a man of stone cry tears.” She played her instrument again, this time the notes soft and somber, setting the mood for the story about to unfold. “A little girl grew up with a tribe. Not a family in the tribe, but the whole tribe. A family of love and commitment joined together under one man, her dad. One day as the tribe was on a job, escorting a group of traveling bards to the next town for the road there was known to be heavily patrolled by bandits.” Her voice caught, a hitch in her words as she realized what she was doing. But Cypher wasn’t a quitter so she was going to finish the story she started.
“Regular bandits that tribe could have taken down in one solid swipe. What they weren’t expecting to encounter along the road was an army of dwarven bandits. The battle was quick and bloody. The Barbarian tribe hardly having a chance to react before the bandits were upon them. In the fight the girl got separated from her dad.” He was there, high above the group, swinging his mighty weapon, standing long after others had fallen, dwarven bodies at his feet as they slowly started to weaken him. “Despite her attempts to get back to his side, where she rightfully belonged in the battle, she was counter stepped in every pace. Eventually her attempts were completely stopped when a stray end of a spell caught her face. Leaving her blinded from the pain.” Cypher shuddered at the memory. Fighting to her feet, her face in agony as her vision flashed white. Pain keeping its hold on all her bones, the blood softly weeping from her wounds as she tried to stand. “She was dragged away from the battle by one of the bards. Once she was treated and regained consciousness she was told of the loss her family suffered. And of her wounds. The fact part of her face was beyond recognition, and highly likely to never heal." She thought back to Koi pulling her away from the battle, watching through her blurred vision, as the dwarves took her dad down to his knees. Him fighting against them as they started to tie him up. A prize they had collected. And her feeling of loss that settled in upon hearing no one else survived. Having nothing now to hold them by except the ruined marks upon her face.
She doesn't know how long she sat there silently, until Deer gently broke the silence by patting her arm. "We are so sorry for your loss Cypher. I know nothing we could say or do to replace the loss, or fill that hole in you soul from them no longer being here." Cypher nodded, instrument unmoving in her lap as she accepted the comfort for a moment.
"It is no matter, afterall it is the past. We have more important things to worry about now. Like the deer that turned hostile this morning, and the other strange happenings in these woods. Wouldn't you agree?" She tucked away her instrument, pulling out her ice pick just to drive it in the ground as something to lean on. Starting up a conversation solid in the here and now, instead of letting herself-and now her party-linger on the past any longer.