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When people saw Tsukishima they assumed that he never had a good day in his life. The man’s inclination towards the negative tended to give an impression that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even after being with him as long as he has- three months and four days, or in his eyes an eternity- Lev liked to think he knew what Tsukki was actually like.
Tsukki was bright, romantic, loving, he laughed more often than you’d expect and smiled so bright in private it made Lev’s own smiles threaten to spill off his face and onto his bedsheets. For as cynical as his boyfriend is Lev knew that Tsukki genuinely enjoyed being alive, and the longer they knew each other the more certain Lev became of this fact; even through all the sarcastic comments and rude looks that may imply otherwise.
But some days, Lev thought as he hovered outside Tsukki’s bedroom door, he wasn’t quite as happy as Lev wanted to believe he was.
That morning had gone off to a rough start for both of them. Lev had to go through yet another lecture before their date; apparently eating his moms’ chocolate cake with a knife had repercussions or whatever. When Tsukki had arrived he’d looked even more shaken than Lev was, and when Lev tried to sus out why he got nothing but vague comments and radio silence.
It’s not that Tsukki doesn’t grow silent; he does often, preferring to listen to Lev list out his top ten types of orange juice or fun facts about lizards that he’d learned the morning before. What really worried Lev was the lack of fire, the lack of passion…
When Tsukki had apologized and excused himself for the day, Lev knew he’d be taking his own train Miyagi at some point.
And that’s how he’d gotten here.
Akiteru was the one who’d let him into the house, despite how Lev felt about Tsukki’s cowardly wannabe-ace brother he’d swallowed his pride and texted him. All things considered, taking the train, texting Akiteru, and getting to the front of Tsukki’s room was the easy part. Actually knocking on the door? Felt nearly impossible.
Lev paced in the hallway, biting his knuckles anxiously. When he realized he was doing so he stopped immediately, his cool-guy persona had to take over, he had to try and be a little more put together…
But was an asshole like him even what Tsukki needed right then?
Eventually the weight of Lev’s thoughts, so foreign and unnatural for him, weighed him down and he spread out his limbs on the carpeted floor and groaned. In his frustration he kicked the floor and rubbed his eyes, and by what some would call a miracle and others wouldn’t care enough to call anything at all, the door opened.
“Lev?” Tsukishima asked, voice soft, “what the fuck are you doing here it’s 11 fucking pm.”
His eyes seemed sullen and Lev was struck with the instant need to hold him, so he scrambled up and did.
“I’m sorry,” Lev mumbled into his boyfriend’s shoulder, his arms wrapped so tightly around his torso it almost fit around him twice, “you weren’t responding to my texts and you weren’t as blam and bwoah as you usually are and I…”
Lev pulled away momentarily to look into Tsukishima’s eyes, softly holding his cheek in his calloused and bandaged hands the way he does when he feels like Tsukki’s got the whole damn world reflected in his eyes.
He went quiet, and kissed Tsukki gently, mumbling into his lips like he was scared the wrong words would send everything crumbling down, “I got worried. Scared. Whatever you wanna call it…” Lev held him closer when he got no reply, his heart hammering in his chest, “are you angry with me? Was I not supposed to come?”
Tsukki sighed, but he hugged Lev back. He held him close and Lev was so glad to feel his warmth, so relieved that he was still beating.
“Of course I’m angry…” Tsukki mumbled into Lev’s shoulder, “how the fuck are you gonna get home this late? Who even let you in?”
Lev laughed weakly, “I just won’t? And Akiteru did.”
Tsukki pulled away and stared at Lev like he’d just grown three new heads and the ability to speak coherently- like a monkey reciting shakespeare. The look was so cute it made Lev’s chest bubble, and a laugh escaped from it as a result.
It felt good. He hadn’t laughed properly all day.
“Yeah dude, I texted him and everything so,” Lev ran his hands through Tsukki’s hair, and looked down at him through his eyelashes, “let me stay? With you? I don’t want to leave you alone. Seeing you so upset makes me… gah, it feels worse than getting benched, or knowing you don’t have enough money for a cat cafe y’know??”
“I don’t know, and I’m not upset.”
Lev levelled Tsukki a look, but he was too busy hiding a smile to respond. Lev got the urge to kiss him again, so he did.
Over and over and over, peppering kisses all over Tsukishima’s cheeks and lips and chin and neck, pulling him even closer by the waist until Lev started to feel something shake. For a second he thought he was trembling with relief, until he looked up to find that it wasn’t him who was trembling.
So Lev pulled his boyfriend to his bed, changed into his favourite shorts to steal and a large old shirt that only fit him as a result of his thin stature, and crawled onto the mattress with Tsukki.
They spent the rest of the night just like that; limbs locked together under the warmth of Tsukishima’s covers, gentle kisses mostly given to ease whatever pain is in his heart. No words needed to be said between the mumbled ‘I love you’s and a single ‘thank you’, and if there was just one thing Lev hoped to say the next day, it was “I’m glad you’re feeling better now.”