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The air was warm and it enveloped them as they walked, stumbling blindly in the dark of the tiny B&B landing. Trott sucked in a breath of surprise as Smiths hand slipped from around his shoulders down to his waist and his much bigger body lunged violently towards him crushing him against the wall.
“Urgh, I think this is it...” Smith’s words were slurred and Trott couldn’t see but he could smell the rich alcohol laced lips of his friend very near to his face. His spinning head pushed him to lean a little forward and he could almost taste the whiskey on Smiths lips a moment before the door opened where he had thought a wall had been. He reached out fingers grasping tight to Smiths flannel shirt in an effort to stay on his feet his footsteps littering the wooden floor of Smith’s room. They clattered into the tiny room Trott struggling to stay upright as Smith powered on forwards his drunken mind clearly aiming for the bed.
“Fuck, now I have to find my room.”
Smith bowled right over him and he ended his own slurred speech with a squawk. They fell onto the bed Smith making some small effort to stop himself from crushing Trott during the fall his hand grabbing Trotts belt and yanking him upwards; the other reaching out to break the fall. He snorted into Trotts neck his chest lying across Trotts stomach until he clambered up onto his knees. He literally crawled across the bed and settled up against the pillows taking great care not to put a sluggish knee down on top of Trotts face. Trott lay on his back giggling to himself as the dim ceiling light span in concentric circles above. The room was even warmer than the landing and his own shirt clung to him, his dark jeans restrictive and tight across his loose legs. He wobbled his feet kicking off his shoes.
“Hmm maybe I will just stay here then.”
Smith made a noncommittal noise from somewhere above him and Trott rolled onto his side to stare at him.
He was very very drunk.
And so was Smith.
His face was pink and a lazy smile spread over his lips. He was grinning back at Trott his eyes slowly tracing over Trott’s face as he made a deep rumbling sound in his chest. Trotts eyes fell to watch the slow rise and fall of his chest and his muscles ached with his desire to curl up there. He frowned.
“I’m staying here.”
He said it again a little more forceful this time and Smith raised an eyebrow the dopey smile only shining brighter as he nodded. “Uh’ course mate.” Smith lifted a heavy hand and patted the bed next to him his eyelids dropping a little. Trott took that as an invitation and dragged his sodden limbs up the bed until he was sat back on his thighs next to Smith’s boots. He yanked at them wrinkling his nose as Smith made a minimal effort to help.
“Why’d you take my boots?” His voice was whiny and he pouted down at him.
“You can’t wear them on the bed Smith. You can’t-it’s rude.”
Smith just shrugged and chuckled deeply to himself ending with another low rumble and Trott knocked the boots to the floor slowly and carefully placing his hands on the bed so he could crawl up to Smith. At first he intended to lean against the pillow next to him but as he turned around to sit back Smith reached out wrapping an arm over his shoulder to place his hand over Trotts heart. This pulled him close to his body until he was leant up against Smiths chest. He sighed happily and leant his head back to rest on Smith’s shoulder. His hands lay limp on his legs and he thought about all the places he wished he could put them, drifting off to thoughts of the warmth of Smiths arm over him and the smell of warm cotton.
When he awoke the sun was just beginning to break over the buildings visible from the small window near the foot of the bed. Smith was still fast asleep his rumbling snores vibrating through Trotts own chest. He blinked in shock as he experimentally licked his lips and found his tongue coming into contact with Smiths neck. In his sleep he had curled around the bigger man his leg coming up to hook over Smiths and his arm coming to rest across his stomach with his fingers grasping tightly around the outside of his thigh. This had pushed his chest up against Smiths side and his face now lay crooked in Smiths shoulder.
Trott pulled away slightly. Smith’s skin tasted slightly salty and he smelt still of the alcohol he had consumed the night before. Trotts eyes wandered down Smiths sleeping body and his eyes caught on the edge of his shirt, slightly dampened by Trott drooling in his sleep. He blushed hoping Smith wouldn’t notice and hastily began trying to pull himself away. It was as he released Smiths thigh and pulled his arm away that the other man woke up frowning and groaning as he gained consciousness. His grip tightened around Trott pulling him back in until Smith opened his eyes. His smile was soft and warm and his eyes shone in the new morning light.
“What time is it?”
“No idea.”
Smith moved his head to the side on the pillow and squinted up at Trott. He rubbed his head against his shoulder and his eyebrows twitched as his eyes drooped shut again. “Did you drool on me?”
Trott made a noise in his throat. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do with his hands. The slow easy confidence of the night before gone in sobering dawn light and his arms lay useless on Smith’s stomach. Smith’s hands however had no trouble finding things to do. His fingers ran lines down Trotts back and over his hip and then up to scratch the back of his head before coming to rest back to just above his hip.
“We left the door open.”
Smith’s nodded his head and Trott glanced over his shoulder noticing the door left wide open their shoes littering the floor. “Oops.”
Smith laughed softly in the back of his throat and he used the arm that was wrapped around Trott to rub at his eye. Trott ducked his head to avoid smashing his chin into Smiths cheek. Unfortunately this left him nuzzling into Smiths neck again the sweet smell of his skin filling his nose and he fought the urge to just stay there, hiding his face from the man he had come to love. The man he had studiously been avoiding getting into situations like this with since they both became single three months ago.
The trip to gamescom this year had been difficult to say the least. Smith had always gotten more touchy feely and possessive over him and Ross when they travelled. He seemed to take them being on trips as an excuse to act in a way that Trott felt he bit back on during their normal day to day lives. He wondered if that was all this was, was it just him being his natural cuddly self? He tried to imagine him cuddling like this with Ross. His snort came out ugly and loud against Smiths neck and the other man tightened his grip for a second mumbling under his breath.
“Wha’s so funny?”
“Ross would probably tear your arm off if you tried this with him.”
Smith laughed into Trotts hair as he turned his face as if to look at him. He put on his scarily accurate Ross voice and reached up with his other arm to gesture at the ceiling. “What are you even doing!? You left your shoes on! Were you raised in a barn?!”
Trott laughed and Smith joined in wriggling his toes. Trotts arms felt less useless now and he absentmindedly ran his fingers over Smiths stomach his fingers dancing circles around the buttons of Smiths shirt. There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes and Trott fought valiantly with his own mind as he tried not to think about how he was getting his hopes up, he admonished himself for taking something which was clearly just a form of platonic affection from Smith and turning it into something deeper and more physical than that. No, he was going to have to accept that he could have this and nothing more. He felt guilty for it not being enough, his stomach twisted and he pulled his hand way from where it had drifted towards Smiths belt and pulled it up to his own chest licking his lips.
Smith shifted so he was sat up fully and Trotts ended up against the pillows mourning the loss of Smiths warm arm surrounding him. Smith swung his legs out detaching them completely and Trotts felt sick, it was almost as if Smith could have heard the thoughts plaguing Trotts mind. He pulled himself up to sit cross legged against the pillow Smiths back wide and smooth ahead of him. His hair stood up in every direction and Trott watched his rough hand scrub through the curls before Smith leant forwards looking down at his feet.
“Thanks for letting me stay.” Trotts voice came out deeper and sadder than he planned and Smith glanced over his shoulder at him a storm raging behind his eyes. He sat back twisting his body so one knee was back against Trotts legs and his hand was denting the bed at Trotts feet. They held steady eye contact before Trott looked down at his chest. Smith was looking at him like he was a puzzle he couldn’t solve.
“Anytime.”
Trott nodded and made every effort not to look at Smith as he glanced up. Unfortunately he caught his reflection in the mirrored cupboard doors to their left and his heart lurched. Smith was frowning, his eyes locked on Trotts face. His hands were fiddling with the bed sheet and as Trott fought to keep his face blank so as not to give himself away Smith straightened his back and set his lips in a hard line as if steeling himself. What happened next surprised him so much he gasped.
Smith’s hand came up suddenly to grasp at his jaw cupping his cheek and he was forced to look at him. Smith was still frowning but he was leaning closer and it was as if time slowed to a stop. His own hands reached out and he leant forward as Smiths grip slipped to his chin titling his head up and to the side. Smith would not look away as they moved in until his eyes slid closed and he pressed a gentle kiss to Trotts lips. His lips were harder than Trott was used too and his breath tasted of whiskey and smoke and Trott leant into it relishing something he had thought about so many times and he could never have imagined.
Smith pulled away first his usually confident expressions obliterated by a new vulnerable wide eyed stare. It was as though he was as surprised by the kiss as Trott was. Trott blinked a few times and that was all the time he needed for the flipping of his stomach to rise up his throat and burst out of him in one word.
“Alex.”
Smith’s eyelids flickered and he swallowed hard his eyes falling from Trotts face to flicker around everywhere. Trott saw him begin to shy away and he instinctively reached out with both hands grasping Smith by the sides of his head. He pulled him close and kissed him with everything he had, with every night of burning lust and every day of slow enduring love he felt. Smith moaned into his mouth and he pulled him over until they were both teetering on the edge of the bed Trotts hands sliding from Smiths face to grab the back of his head his fingers grasping tight to his hair as he directed his mouth to gain access to his neck. Smith didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands and Trott used his free hand to drag them up onto his waist.
When he finally pulled back they were both panting heavily. Smith was holding tight enough to bruise and Trott had ended up kneeling on the bed straddling Smith’s waist. They shared heated breaths for a moment Trott leaning his forehead against Smiths. Smith cleared his throat swallowing hard. His lips were bruised and red and his cheeks were flushed. His sleepy eyes burned with a new fire and a bright shining smile spread across his lips. Trott grinned back at him and he began to laugh. Smith joined in and they chuckled softly at each other pausing to press soft pecks to each other’s lips.
After a few minutes Trott lifted himself backwards finding purchase on the floor so he was stood over Smith their knees knocking as he left his hand tangled in Smiths hair running a thumb over his scalp. Smith licked his lips and stared at his own hands were they sat on Trotts hips. “I guess this makes things complicated now…”
Trott shivered and stepped a little closer. “Does it have too?”
He wasn’t making eye contact and Trott pulled at his hair again to force his gaze up.
“How can it not Chris?”
“Easy, we do what we want to do. As long as we make a promise for this not to affect our work why can’t we have this?”
“Yeah but what if one of us gets hurt? What if this goes to shit and I ruin things? What about Ross?”
“Frist off no matter what happens Alex, you are my friend. And what are you expecting to happen? Do you really think Ross is going to have a problem with this?”
“I’m…It’s just that I really want this Chris. This is serious for me and I-“
“Do you really think I would’ve let this happen if I wasn’t serious about this? You are not some one night stand. “
“But I kissed you first, I started it.”
“And I am never going to stop thanking you for that.” He leant down pressing a kiss to Smith’s cheeks. “Thank you.” Another to his other cheek. “Thank you.” And a long slow kiss to his lips.” Thank you.”
Smith blushed leaning his head against Trotts chest. “You fucking loser.”
Trott grinned jumping at a voice behind him. “You do realise your door is open right?” Ross was stood in the doorway hands on hips. Smith leant around Trott to glare at his friend. “I happen to like it that way actually.”
Ross didn’t even bother responding instead choosing to give Trott a disappointed look. “The bus is in a hour. Here is breakfast.” He reached out a hand and Trott took a crinkled McDonalds bag from him. Ross let his eyes drop to Smith’s hands and back up and Trott waited on bated breath until Ross simply shrugged. “Make sure he doesn’t forget his ticket this time.”
Trott nodded and Ross turned away his footsteps echoing down the hall. Trott turned back to look down at Smith who was staring up at him grinning.
“Guess we don’t need to worry about Ross after all.”