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A.N.: It's a Christmas one-shot! And only a few days late! Don't worry, this is a total standalone. While it's in-continuity with my other stories, the only thing you need to know is that it takes place when Arnold and Helga are in their mid-thirties and have two children, Trudy (10) and Robbie (4).
FIRST ENCOUNTERS
December 20, 2042
Budnick's Department Store
Helga G. Pataki could remember very few happy moments from her childhood. It was mostly dominated by neglect, envy, and obsession. Ever in the shadow of her illustrious older sister, ever in thrall to her compulsive love for one certain football-headed boy.
And yet, somehow, there were moments she could recall with fondness, moments untainted by sibling rivalry or romantic psychosis, wholesome moments of the simple childlike wonder that should have been the norm. One such moment was the Saturday before Christmas when she was four.
Now, half-assed parents they may have been, but Robert and Miriam Pataki could certainly be credited with one thing, and that was they always came through on Christmas. There was always a big tree studded with festive decorations, great food, and a heap of presents. And that Saturday, for the first time, she was going to meet the Big Kahuna himself, Saint Nick, Father Christmas, Pére Noël, Kris Kringle, whatever you call him.
There, in Budnick's, he sat, in all his Yuletide glory, and Helga was just at the age that she didn't question why Santa would be in a department store in Hillwood when he should be busy preparing for his round-the-world ride, or why he kind of smelled like Mommy's smoothies, or why the reindeer wasn't moving. She was meeting Santa. This was big. And while she didn't get quite EVERYTHING she asked for (Santa had made it very clear that boyfriends were beyond even his power), she did get most of it. For that Christmas, she believed.
One year later, she had snuck away from Miriam waiting in line and stumbled upon "Santa" exiting the mens' room sans beard and that illusion had been shattered forever. Yet she would always remember the sheer innocent joy of that one Christmas, when she still believed.
Now, years later, things had changed quite a bit for Helga. She had a happy marriage, a successful writing career, and had a children of her own. And above all, she was determined to give them a far happier childhood than she'd had. And one part of that was making sure they'd experience the same moment of childhood wonder that she had.
It was for this reason that she and her family now stood in the seemingly endless line at Budnicks, one of a hundred waiting for their moment with the big man, This year was going to be her son Robbie's first time, and she wanted to be sure it would go perfectly, unlike her daughter Trudy's six years ago…
--
"I can't believe Santa Claus is in Hillwood!" Trudy squeaked excitedly. The tiny four-year-old blonde eagerly hopped in place as the family of three waited on line.
"That's right, Starglow," Arnold confirmed. "Santa Claus is right here, today only, just to say hi to all the good little boys and girls. Which means you're going to show him just how good you can be, right?"
"Okay, Daddy!" agreed the girl.
"And 'good' means we're going to wait in line patiently for our turn," Helga added, knowing that 'patient' was generally not a word that could be used to describe her, or pretty much any four-year-old. Or, well, herself for that matter. But for Trudy's sake, she was going to put up with this.
After what seemed like an eon, finally it was their turn. A teenage part-timer dressed as an elf moved to help Trudy up, but the girl needed no help, nimbly scrambling up onto Santa's lap and making herself comfortable.
"Well, Merry Christmas, Tr- uh, little girl!" spoke Santa with an unmistakable Czech accent, "Tell Santa what a good girl you've been."
Trudy's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You sound familiar," she said. Helga's breath caught in her throat. She'd known that Oskar had been hired to play Santa at one of the department stores in town this year, but for some reason she was sure it was the BuyLots, not this one. If she recognized his voice…
"Of course I sound familiar, I'm Santa Claus!" Oskar replied quickly. "See, I have the Santa Claus laugh. Oh ho ho ho ho. Now, tell Santa what you want, he is very busy this year. Now tell me you have been a good girl, okay?"
"I've been very good this year. I haven't hit anyone or nothin'."
"That's very good to hear, so, what can Santa bring you this year?"
"A dinosaur. Or a little brother. Either one's good," answered Trudy hopefully.
"I, ah, don't think the elves know how to make those. Oh ho ho ho. Do you have any other things you want? Something more reasonable, yes?"
"Hmmm… maybe… a bike? A real one, the kind with only two wheels, like big kids use."
"Well, little girl, I'll see what I can do, but are you sure you can handle that yet?"
"You let me worry about that."
"Okay, I will tell the elves, one bike for Trudy, I'll get right on that, okay?"
"Thanks, San- wait, I never told you my name." The suspicious look returned.
"Uh… Santa knows the names of all children, because I'm magic, okay?"
"Then, what's his name?" she asked, pointing to a random kid.
"Um… Bob… Littleboy?"
"Uh… sweetie," Helga prompted, "I really think we should go now…"
"…wait…" Trudy said, glaring. "I knew I knew your voice from somewhere!" Her hand darted out and yanked Oskar's fake flowing white beard off, revealing the shorter, graying real beard underneath. "You're Mr. Oskar!" She accused.
"No, no, I am really Santa! I, uh… had a freak beard-dying accident and wore this fake one to maintain my image! Oh ho ho ho ho!"
"Fraud! Impostor! Does Santa even know you're impersonating him?" She addressed the children in the audience. "They said the real Santa was here, and we just get this… fake! Are you just gonna take this?"
"You know, this is really bad, but I'm pretty impressed she has such a big vocabulary for her age," Arnold whispered to his wife, clearly trying his best not to laugh at the situation.
"Yes, now let's go get her before she starts a riot," replied Helga.
--
They'd managed to defuse the situation by convincing Trudy that Santa was swamped this year and that Oskar was doing him a personal favor, but the illusion had been broken, and while belief in the big man himself would persist for a couple more years, the magic of the first visit simply could not be recaptured.
It was certainly lost on the current Trudy, who, closing in on 11, was well past the age where Santa held any magic for anyone and was only here because Robbie, nervous around strangers, calmed down in her presence and because she hoped to get her own shopping done once the wait was over.
The line eventually did reach its destination. Helga braced herself for the encounter. Oskar was playing Old St. Nick again this year, but Robbie was a more innocent child than Trudy had been… at least, the possibility of trying to stir up the crowd to openly revolt against Santa wasn't something she expected to come up.
No, the situation this time was different… as soon as they approached, Robbie panicked and tried to bury herself in Helga's legs.
"Honey," she prodded. "Come on. It's just Santa. There's nothing to be scared of."
"No!" Robbie whimpered. "Scawy."
"It's okay," Arnold said. "We're here. You don't have to do it if you don't want to."
"That's right, agreed Helga, though it was hard to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "Even if we did just wait an hour and a half for this…"
"Honey," Arnold interrupted squeezing her hand.
"*sigh* You're right… I suppose we can still squeeze in some shopping. I just really wanted t- I really wanted him to have this moment."
Trudy sighed. "You owe me big time for this, Mom." Reluctantly, the tween trudged up toward Santa and plopped herself in his lap.
"Oh, hello, it's… you," Oskar said nervously. "It's… so nice to see you again. Oh ho ho ho."
"Hi, Santa!" Trudy said brightly. "Just work with me here," she whispered.
"Oh, uh, okay, ah… have you been a good girl this year?"
"I've been a very, very good girl. But, of course, you know that, being Santa and all, right?"
"Of course I do, don't be silly. Santa has spies everywhere. Just like in the old country. Oh ho ho ho. So, what would a good little girl like you who is heavier than I was expecting like for Christmas?"
"Well… if you think you can manage it, I've kind of had my eye on this autographed Nikki Kaline jersey that I've seen in the window of the Penalty Box…" She subtly (she thought) gave a pointed look at her parents, confirming that this wasn't just making conversation.
"Well, Santa will see what he can do, okay?"
"Me next!" shouted Robbie. Trudy's gambit had worked. She smiled as Robbie scrambled up next to her. "Hi, Samta!" he said adorably.
Now, normally, the idea of sitting on Santa's lap would be absolute anathema to a girl on the cusp of almost almost being a teenager, but the moment she'd seen the disappointment on her mom's face, she'd known that it was time to swallow her pride. Knowing that Robbie idolized her, she knew that he'd want to do whatever she did, and if her dignity suffered, she at least would bring her mom some happiness. And if she could get some extra Christmas swag out of it, more the better.
"Well, hello, little boy," Oskar said. "Santa can tell that you have been a very good boy this year, because Santa knows all. Tell me what you are hoping for this Christmas, okay?"
"Wait!" interrupted Helga. "Quick," she whispered, prodding Arnold. "This is it. Get the camera. We have to capture this."
"Right," Arnold replied, fumbling in his carry-on for Grandpa Phil's ancient Kodak.
"Bear with us," Helga informed the line apologetically. "My husband has yet to discover that B-watches are a ton faster and have better resolution."
"What is this, a commercial?" asked Arnold, lining up the shot.
"Well, the CEO is an old friend…" admitted Helga as he snapped the pic, rolling his eyes. Still jealous, she thought, grinning inwardly. It wasn't as if she'd been with Brainy long… "Okay, sweetie, go on…"
"I really hope she no one posts this," grumbled Trudy under her breath.
"I wanna toy twain," began Robbie, "an… some Wegos…"
Looks like there's another year I can't walk barefoot in my own home, thought Helga.
"….an'… an'… I wanna puppy!"
Uh-oh. As if Lego's weren't enough of a barefoot hazard… Helga turned to Arnold hoping to find him on the same wavelength, only to see the same longing in his own eyes. "Oh, not you too," whispered Helga.
"Trudy has a lizard," Arnold reminded her. "I think it's only fair."
You want this just as much as he does, interpreted Helga, feeling her resolve crumbling. "I suppose I should count myself lucky he didn't ask for rat or a pig." Arnold's eyes lit up. "We are not getting a pig."
"Aw…"
"Okay, that's enough," Oskar said, "there are lots of other good little children waiting and Santa must take a break to, ah, feed the reindeer. Everyone off the lap."
"Aww…" grumbled Robbie, sliding off reluctantly and retreating to his parents.
"Thanks," whispered Helga to Trudy. "I believe that makes up for the Great Christmas Revolt of 2036."
"Does that mean I get that jersey?" she asked hopefully.
"Well, that depends on just how good Santa thinks you've been this year, doesn't it," Helga teased.
"I've been good," Trudy insisted. "Mostly, And that one thing wasn't even my fault. The baseball launcher was clearly defective."
"I believe you, pumpkin. Now, let's see how fast we can get our shopping done. I want to see if we can squeeze in a visit to the pet shelter before dark."
--
A.N.: Hope everyone's having a happy holiday season, whatever you celebrate! I just thought I'd throw together a bit of holiday fluff before getting back to my longer work, only I misjudged how much time I'd actually get to write, but hey…. It's still technically the holiday season, so here we are!
Trudy and Robbie appeared previously in "And You May Ask Yourself" and "Time's Arrow," but you really don't have to read those to get what's going on here. Robbie's desire for a toy train and Helga's dismissal of a rat and a pig as potential pets are both nods to Call Me Nettie's "As Time Goes By", which all of you should be reading.
Oh, and Oskar's "Oh ho ho ho" is just a Yuletide variation on his trademark "Eh heh heh heh" laugh, and not a sign that he's now an anime noblewoman.
See you in the next chapter of Growing Pains!