Chapter Text
News of the death of Concubine Kim reached the ears of everyone in the palace. A sickly disease had consumed her, they said.
When the news reached the ears of Crown Prince Cho Seungyoun on that day, he remembered Concubine Kim as a beautiful delicate woman with graceful manners, a pleasant smile and kind eyes. It was the third concubine of the emperor and it was only deserving that she was remembered as such person.
But it was memories from 10 years ago, when Seungyoun was still 15 years old, when Concubine Kim was still loved and respected by many. As the years passed, the name was forgotten and eventually the existence that resided in the lonely Eastern Palace as well. As the number of concubines increased beside the emperor each year, Concubine Kim was gradually pushed back and erased from everyone’s mind.
As her significance lost its place from the emperor’s eyes, no one bothered to know how she was doing anymore after that.
And finally after 10 years, the name was dug out from the dirt in the news of her death and buried back yet again into the dirt as the funeral proceeded to take place immediately after.
Cho Seungyoun announced to take his time off from palace matters today to attend the solemn funeral. With the crown prince attendance, other important officials also followed suit to accompany him. And soon, the crowd that was never seen in such a huge flock in the Eastern Palace had filled every spaces in the open area.
Cho Seungyoun stood at the very front of it all, watching mournfully at the pale deathly face of Concubine Kim in her last moment before the coffin was slid close, together with it the memories that he had of her resurfaced and it brought a sad feeling to his heart.
She had been almost like a second mother to him once upon a time. 10 years passed by so quickly since then and before he knew it, by the time he came to greet her again it was already too late to say anything. There was regret and guilt that nestled deep within his heart for the actions that never got the chance to be carried out and for the thoughts that was never voiced out.
Alas, there was nothing he can do now except to carry on this guilt and regret for the missed chance for the rest of his lifetime.
Around her coffin, her dutiful servants gathered around her dressed in white funeral clothes, crying mournfully as they accompanied her coffin that was carried out.
And in the midst of it all, a lone boy stood stiffly. The face was as pretty as Concubine Kim, the figure was as small and delicate as her as well, and the complexion, was almost a lifeless pale as hers too. Seungyoun later learned that it was Concubine Kim’s only child. As if unable to comprehend the situation, the boy stood unmoving at his spot, with his eyes wide and tears welling up at the sight of his leaving mother. The dry lips that barely held its colour due to days of being deprived from water cracked open shakily as he called out to his mother in a small hoarse voice.
Seungyoun realized then, his responsibility. The only thing left he could do for the woman he had not been able to repay her deeds for.
He stepped close to the small figure, curled his arm around the thin waist carefully before leading him forward to follow the procession. The boy didn’t even seem to react to his presence as he kept calling out to his mother with his eyes wide and dripping with tears. Seungyoun pressed his lips tightly while keeping his head forward. The only thing he could do, to keep strong and be the supportive pillar to the person who had been the most precious to Concubine Kim.
The little 18 year old Kim Wooseok, who was born 7 years later than him, who now looked as if his whole world had crashed down on him with the realization of his departing mother.
When the coffin was laid down to rest into the deep pit of the earth, Kim Wooseok struggled out from Seungyoun’s hold and tried to follow after his mother. Eomma, eomma… Wooseok scratched onto the soil, uncaring of his nails that became stained as he crawled towards his mother’s resting place in a hurry. Eomma, where are you going? Please don’t leave me… When the servants shoveled dirt to her coffin, Wooseok hurriedly clutched onto their hands and tried to stop them. W-what are you doing? You can’t do this to her, please don’t do this… Like a person who had lost all their sensibility and reasoning, Wooseok had begged and pleaded for them to not continue any further. The servants could only watch him with a look of deep sorrow and sympathy as they were unable to say anything to the person who was affected by this the most.
Kim Wooseok who had been attached to his mother all his life, had to suddenly let go of her one day.
“Wooseok-ah, your mother has left us… You have to let her go now.” The oldest maid from their household, undoubtedly the longest to serve alongside his mother and also Wooseok’s caretaker since small, had to console the panicking Wooseok. Even then, it was to no avail as Wooseok kept refusing to accept the situation, rendering the procession to a complete halt due to the chaos that he evoked.
By this time, Seungyoun had to step in to take control of the situation as the person with the highest power there at the moment. Despite the guilt that weighed him, he had to pull the struggling Wooseok back by his arms before motioning for the servants to resume the procession. Each time dirt covered the coffin, Wooseok screamed louder. Watching the pitiful sight, the maids turned away and sobbed quietly. As the coffin was gradually covered up into the earth, Wooseok’s strength started to seep out from his body and the struggle gradually ceased. The body grew limp in Seungyoun’s hold and eventually the small shoulders started to shake again into sobs.
It was indeed a sorrowful sight. Seungyoun turned the lifeless body towards him and hugged it tightly. The body was cold and Seungyoun embraced every inch of it hoping to at least be able to give it the warmth that it had lost from its core.
As the funeral proceeded in a solemn state, the sky gradually became solemn as well. The dark clouds that hung above them hinting the beginning of a terrible night with heavy rain and thunderstorms. The weather was as if a reflection of the boy’s heavy emotions that were poured out in an unending despairing torrents.
The funeral ended after extending a few more hours into the night.
By then, rain had already started pouring.
Seungyoun returned to his palace with drenched clothes despite the officers who had tried to shield Seungyoun with umbrellas above his head.
As Seungyoun stepped into his chamber to change his clothes, he was commented on his appearance.
“My prince, your face.” Eunuch Cha, his loyal servant who had served by his side since he was small, took note of his face which was stained with dirt and rushed to take a clean cloth. Seungyoun smiled weakly when the servant approached him again, but he took the initiative to clean his face by his own as the cloth exchanged place into his hand. He wiped his face and neck with an eased demeanour. As the stain was smudged off from his face, Eunuch Cha then noticed a slight gash on his chin which looked as if a person used their nails to scratch him. He spoke in a crossed manner before addressing the wound to Seungyoun. “Who would dare do this to the crown prince? He must not know his place. Tell me the name and I shall punish him as fit.”
Upon hearing the stern voice which was filled with intent to deliver punishment, Seungyoun quickly waved it off. “There is no need to.” Contrary to the wound that seemed to hurt, his voice was calm. Seungyoun looked into the mirror and inspected the wound. It was just a small one, not even deep enough to leave a scar. “This is nothing.” He said in the end.
Contrary to the wound that was committed to his face, the person who had inflicted it had a much deeper and more painful wound in his heart. Therefore, in comparison this was really nothing to him. Seungyoun comforted himself with the thought that this wound was the least he could bear to share the boy’s suffering.
And then he had to wonder briefly with his mind drifting back to the sight he remembered a while ago. The sight where sobs wracked throughout the small body, it was like a shaky leaf about to be cut off from its thin stem in the harsh cruel wind.
The night was a similar one. Seungyoun turned his head towards the window when a flash of lightning was caught from the periphery of his vision, following that a loud thunder rumbled throughout the palace. He sighed after realizing belatedly that the thunderstorm will continue probably for the rest of the night.
When the old maid slid open the door of the main chamber, darkness greeted her. She sighed, expecting the situation.
“What are you doing, sitting alone in the dark like this?” Reprimanding softly, she went to light up the candle on the table and instantly the whole room glowed in a soft orange. Due to the quietness that lingered for a long time, she would’ve thought that Wooseok was already asleep if not for the face that was illuminated dimly.
Wooseok was wrapped in his mother’s blanket from head to toe, with only his face visible as he sat quietly on the mattress. Underneath him, the surface of the soft mattress was wet due to the body that was still drenched from the rain. Even when the maids insisted him to change into dry clothes the moment they returned, Wooseok had wordlessly passed by all of them and closed himself up in his mother’s chamber.
It was a behaviour that was unlike the usual cheerful Wooseok, and upon witnessing it for the first time the maids were torn on what to do. Naturally the oldest maid had to be the one to step in and do something before the boy became sick from grief.
She laid a hot bowl of soup in front of him, but he made no response to even look at it. Those eyes which were usually filled with life were as if empty now as they stared blankly at nothing. The sight broke the heart of the old woman who had a soft spot and deep affection towards the only child of her beloved mistress.
She knew of the deep bond between her mistress and her child. Ever since Wooseok was born, the mistress had regarded Wooseok as if he was her one and only. She loved him with her whole heart and Wooseok had grown with the love of his mother which was brimming and unending. They were never separated the whole 18 years of Wooseok’s life, so today would be the first night that Wooseok had to live without his mother.
And it would be the first night Wooseok would sleep without his mother’s company.
The nights which were usually filled with warmth from the love and affection that was seen between the mother and the child was absent for the first time that night and it felt strangely disturbing.
As the hollowness felt without his mother gradually deepened with the growing night, Wooseok held on merely by the scent that lingered from his mother’s blanket and the illusion of her smiling face from the corner of his eyes.