Work Text:
“Cody.”
All movement, all sound, everything in the previously bustling briefing room abruptly came to a shrieking halt at the pornographic moan of the Commander of the 212th’s name, very obviously made by said Commander’s General. Both men froze. Commander Cody was stoic as ever, having the benefit of a helmet, but General Kenobi had no such protection, his face going from normal hue to pale shock to dark, creeping crimson at breakneck speed while never looking away from the holographic map he had been studying a moment before. Across the table, General Skywalker was staring holes in his Master, his expression a blank mask of total denial. Flanking him, Rex was just as falsely impassive as Cody, and Ahsoka had covered her mouth with a slender hand, her bright eyes wide, and her white stripes red from the tips of her lekku all the way up to the top of her montrals.
Cody hadn’t known that the sound a commlink made could be modified. Hadn’t had the slightest inkling until just now, when instead of the unobtrusive, polite little ‘beep’ it usually made to signify an incoming message, it had made that... sound instead. Loudly, so apparently the volume could be altered too. Interesting.
Rex, the little shit, actually somehow had the nerve and lack of self-preservation to break the silence, with a heroically casual, “I think you have a message, Commander.”
Cody also hadn’t known how calmly he could accept the pending demise of his younger brother. But the knowledge that he would be shoving Rex out of an airlock later was invoking surprisingly little emotion in him. He was learning all kinds of new things today.
“Thank you, Captain,” he bit out. He nodded to the Jedi stiffly. “Excuse me, Generals.” With the kind of poise that only comes from being literally the highest ranking clone in existence, Cody stepped away from the holo-table to answer the blinking message.
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CodyWan: I don’t know who did this, but I will find out. And when I do, I will hunt you down and dig your heart out with a SPOON.
CodyWan: a DULL spoon
Ahsoka’s Bitch: GUYS HES NOT JOKING SOMEONE GIVE UP WHO DID IT BEFORE HE ACTUALLY KILLS ME AND ALL OTHER WITNESSES
MrSecuraifyourenasty: whoa what happened???
Ahsoka’s Bitch: SOMEONE FIGURED OUT HOW TO CHANGE THE SOUND A COMLINK MAKES FOR AN INCOMING MESSAGE
Ahsoka’s Bitch: AND CHANGED CODY’S TO A RECORDING OF KENOBI MOANING HIS NAME
Ahsoka’s Bitch: AND MAXED OUT THE VOLUME
Ahsoka’s Bitch: IT WENT OFF IN FRONT OF SKYWALKER
Ahsoka’s Bitch: AND TANO
Ahsoka’s Bitch: HLEP
Ahsoka’s Bitch: HELP
Ahsoka’s Bitch: SOS
Ahsoka’s Bitch: GUYS PLEASE
(several people are typing)
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In the end, Cody never did find out who did it. Obi-Wan privately decided that was probably for the best. He had not expected his prank to backfire so horrifically, but in the end, he supposed it there were worse pranks his padawan could have witnessed.
(Quinlan Vos, on the other hand, never let him live it down.)