Work Text:
Summer’s not gay. She’s pretty sure.
Not that she has anything against being gay. She just…isn’t. Or at least if she is, that aspect of herself has taken its sweet time in revealing itself. Did it normally take till your mid-twenties to be attracted to girls if you were gay? Well, maybe that meant she was bisexual, but…
Anyway, she hadn’t given it a second thought until she’d met Eliza.
It was kind of synchronic how well their interactions paralleled those of their characters. Well, except for the part where the relationship turned sour when she found out Eliza was just using her and she had it out for Eliza for the next five years. But the rest of it…the part where she was the shy, awkward new kid, and Eliza was the confident girl who took her under her wing – that all fit perfectly.
Maybe “shy” was too strong a word to use – Summer was really trying to outgrow her childhood shyness, and it was getting easier with every acting job. But for some reason the Dollhouse set, wonderful as it was, intimidated her. Maybe because most of the people on it had already had one season to gel, to really get close to one another and develop relationships. She felt a little bit like the new kid coming into the school where everyone had been in the same class since kindergarten.
To their credit, nobody acted like that at all. She and Fran had hit it off right away, and she was excited to come back for the episode where she had more scenes with him (although she imagined some of the crew were a little apprehensive, considering their joint track record of ruining their shared scenes). Actually, she felt a little guilty, because Fran was obviously kind of into her and had been blatantly flirting with her before she mentioned Cooper. He backed off after that, but then if she didn’t want him flirting with her what business did she have thinking about Eliza like…that?
Not hardcore fantasies or anything. Just little flashes sometimes, imagining what it would be like to kiss those lovely lips (they look so soft) or how running her hands over that toned stomach would feel (she's embarrassed to admit she stares a little more than she'd like when Eliza's characters show some skin). Eliza is unlike anyone Summer’s ever met before: charismatic, sharp-witted, yet also a total sweetheart and a genuinely nice person.
Oh, and she’s gorgeous too. Sexy, even, and Summer doesn’t use that word to describe just anybody. Eliza has a presence about her that is really attractive regardless of gender, like she knows exactly where the party is: it’s right here with her. Like if you just go along with whatever she’s doing, everything will be great.
Summer’s pretty sure it’s not just her who’s feeling this either – she hears Dichen kind of give this little sigh after Eliza’s trussed up the security guard and stormed off, looking so hot Summer feels pretty uncomfortable in the nether regions. Maybe it’s just Eliza; maybe she gives off some kind of pheromones that are targeted especially at girls who are usually straight. That would make sense. Were there even pheromones that did that? Summer’s never been particularly adept at science…maybe she should research that later.
Anyway, it’s not until they’re rehearsing one of their flashback scenes together in Eliza’s trailer that it becomes a problem.
“Gotta love how Joss writes all his characters just the teeniest bit gay,” remarked Eliza with a grin, sprawling across the small couch that, judging from the blanket bunched up at one end of it, serves as a makeshift bed for her on those long shooting days.
“Y-Yeah,” stuttered Summer, giggling a little nervously and trying not to stare too deeply into Eliza’s big brown eyes.
“I mean, c’mon, really? Bennett is just so gay for Caroline it’s ridiculous.” Eliza taps one section of the script with a perfectly manicured nail. “He might as well have just put in a makeout scene; we’re canceled anyway. Not like Fox is gonna care.”
“Joss does seem to love his lesbians,” agreed Summer.
“And it’s not like I haven’t done it before,” continued Eliza. “Kissed another chick, I mean. We all have, right? The things we gotta do in this business…”
Summer ducks her head, feeling the blush rise to her cheeks. “I, uh, only had to once. It was for a TV movie.”
“Yeah?” Eliza’s eyes flash with mischief. “How was it?”
“I—I don’t really remember,” mutters Summer, avoiding her gaze. “It was a long time ago.” Which was only partly true. Honestly, it had been a feather-light kiss and she’d hardly felt it. And of course, that was back before Eliza, before Summer had even entertained the notion of finding another girl attractive in that way.
“Aw, c’mon, you’re telling me you never practiced kissing on your girlfriends?” teased Eliza, sitting up.
“Well, I was homeschooled so I didn’t really have girlfriends, just my sisters…” As Summer explains she feels herself growing redder and redder and she knows how very naïve she sounds compared to Eliza, who’d been out here in LA at seventeen – seventeen! Summer had still been at home then, still dancing, still a kid really – and had pretty much made her own way since then.
Eliza reaches out to brush a lock of hair that’s fallen in front of Summer’s face. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says gently. “I didn’t think about that, it was dumb of me. It’s no big deal. If you really wanted to, you could practice on me.” She grins wolfishly.
At that, Summer’s head jerks up instinctively. It’s too late to take it back now. “Oh, I…I didn’t mean…”
“Shh,” whispers Eliza, and closes the distance between them.
The next few moments are kind of hazy for Summer, because the instant Eliza’s lips touch hers her brain short-circuits and all she can do is make a little mmmh noise of surprise (and pleasure) before just letting go and leaning into the kiss. God, Eliza’s lips are soft.
And then suddenly she realizes what’s going on and she pulls back, shaking a little. “I…I…”
Eliza looks confused. “You okay, Sum? I thought you wanted…”
And it’s not that Summer doesn’t want – boy does she ever want – but it’s more of, what about Cooper? And Eliza, doesn’t she have a boyfriend? Is cheating with another girl worse than cheating with a guy? Especially if that girl is everything you’ve ever wanted to be, and hotter than you’ve ever imagined another girl could be, and calls you “Sum” the way you only like your family to, but when it’s her saying it it feels completely different somehow…
To say that Summer is confused is a masterpiece of understatement.
She stands up quickly, almost falling over in her need to get out of the trailer and away from Eliza. Because if she doesn’t, she’s probably going to do something really, really stupid that she’ll regret later.
“Summer!” she hears Eliza call out behind her, but she doesn’t stop, just sprints out the door and in the direction of the on-set bathroom.
Once she’s locked herself in there, she grips the sink with both hands, trying to steady herself. She glances at herself in the mirror: her eyes are huge, like a startled animal’s, and the color’s completely drained from her face. She tries to take deep breaths, calm down her racing heart, but it’s hard because all she can think about is what just happened. Her and Eliza in Eliza’s trailer, alone, just talking like normal, and then…
Well, then she’d ruined a perfectly good thing by freaking out, that’s what. “Stupid,” she cursed herself. “Stupid!” But then, how was she to know Eliza felt the same way? Or not exactly the same way, but that she was open to that? After all, she’d started it all, by mentioning girls kissing and then offering to…well, practice. And then…
Summer felt herself blush just thinking about it. She guessed she should probably go apologize for running out on Eliza – she’d never been one to deal well with conflict. How was she supposed to do that without feeling extremely awkward, though?
A minute later there’s a knock on the door. “Summer? You in there?”
Eliza. “Y-Yeah, it’s me,” she gasps.
“C’mon out, okay? We need to talk.”
Summer exhales, and then goes to the door and unlocks it. Eliza’s standing there, looking so concerned that it almost makes Summer want to cry. “Hey, listen, I’m sorry about…”
“Not here,” says Summer, shaking her head fervently. “Let’s go back to your trailer.”
So they do. And now it’s intensely awkward.
After a silence that seems to last forever, Eliza finally says, “I’m sorry for freaking you out like that. I thought you…well, kind of wanted me to kiss you. Cause, I mean, I kinda did.”
The blood is rushing so loudly in Summer’s ears she isn’t sure she’s heard Eliza right. “You…wanted to kiss me?” she asks, her eyes widening.
“Yeah, of course!” Eliza seems to be taken aback. “You’re really cute, Sum. And I can tell you’re totally into me, which I’m cool with, by the way. I mean, who wouldn’t dig Summer Glau having a huge crush on them?”
“Oh, but I don’t…” And then she sees it’s pointless to try and defend herself; the jig’s up. “How did you know?”
Eliza winks at her. “Not that hard to figure out. Your face is an open book, my dear. When you’re not Bennett, I mean. Plus you keep sneaking me these looks.”
“Looks?”
“Like a puppy-dog. Your face lights up whenever I come in the room and your eyes go all soft…” Eliza trails off, then cups Summer’s cheek in her hand. “They’re doing that right now, actually.”
Summer can hardly breathe. “Eliza, I…”
“Don’t say anything,” Eliza whispers, and kisses her again. And all Summer can do is lean in and kiss her back.
They just kiss for a while, sweet and gentle, before Eliza kind of nudges at Summer’s lips with her tongue. Summer sighs quietly and opens her mouth so Eliza’s tongue can slip in, wrapping her arms around the other girl’s shoulders. Eliza’s other hand wanders down toward Summer’s chest and begins to stroke one of her breasts through her shirt, making Summer moan.
Then there’s a knock on the door, startling them both and making them jump apart suddenly. “What’s up?” called Eliza, trying really hard to stifle her nervous giggles. Summer doesn’t even bother.
“Eliza, you and Summer are needed on set in five!”
“Okay, be right there!” Eliza turns to Summer, her eyes laughing. “You ready?”
As Eliza takes her hand, Summer thinks she’s never been more ready for anything in her life.