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It was the annual Christmas party, and a certain scarred wolf boy was searching the decked halls for his… friend. Yeah... his friend; that’s what they were after all. Just… friends?
Once he’d managed to make his escape from the brightly lit Gryffindor common room and their garish green decorations, clashing against the bright red and gold of the common room colours, Remus had been relieved to see the simple silver suits of armour in the halls, unadorned and not screaming a bewitched version of Christmas songs that were ringing about back where Remus had just escaped from. That and all his friends screaming and hooting and shrieking in glee at the sight of the shiny gift papers piled into a stack for the remaining students at Hogwarts to descend upon in haotic madness. It hadn’t taken very long for Remus to exhaust himself in the madness of the common room, not particularly enjoying himself, what with the dread of the evening’s activities looming ahead. It would, after all; be the full moon and he would once again transform into a slobbering beast craving the-
Remus slapped himself in the face briskly attempting to derail his thoughts. This was a time of merriment and cheer and he would not allow his negativity to curdle his thoughts and turn this into a miserable event for everyone. And… speaking of miserable events…
Remus spied a familiar name upon Jamie’s map that he had… borrowed. Without asking. Friends could do that, after all. There, in the Astronomy Tower, there was Sirius, proof of it in the ink on parchment clasped inside a suddenly clammy hand. An equally clammy hand grasping a silver wrapped gift; what if he’d read Sirius wrong. No.
Remus mused as he climbed the stone steps of the Astronomy Tower; he knew his friend. And this was The gift for him, especially with what had gone down this past summer. Bygones were bygones after all. Especially when they were as close a group of friends as they were… family practically. James and Sirius were definitely brothers.
“Sirius.” He whispered reverently, the name echoing hauntingly at the raven haired boy curled up in the corner; as much as a corner could be in a space with no edges. Remus let his gaze drift over the older boy, taking in the tattered quilt, the manic glint in his eyes dulled by the cold, his wand laying just out of reach, and the shine of green gift paper. He’d been hiding, then.
Was it Regulus? Was it Walburga; that bi-... Remus cut off his thinking, no cursing out his best mate’s mum if he wasn’t in the mood for it.
And looking at the defeated slump of his shoulders, Sirius was not in the mood for much of anything. So Remus kept quiet, pulling his cloak further round his shoulders, and biting back a grimace as he settled onto the icy stone to wait out this time with his dearest pal.
It was when the sun dipped behind the trees to begin its descent, Sirius stirred, his voice a mere whisper as he shivered.
“So much has happened over our years here at Hogwarts. Never once did I think I’d find a family who loved me as much as I loved them. Never once did I know what it felt like to be hugged without fingers pinching at me. I didn’t know what it would feel like to laugh and smile without fear of being shushed or yelled at for being improper. These last few years have turned me from a porcelain doll into a right proper person. And yet; I still find myself scared sometimes. That same lost little boy I was back in first year.”
Remus listened to Sirius speak, the cadence belying his calm. Sirius shifted and half turned to Remus, eyes fixating on a spot just over his ear, a method Sirius used when he was too nervous to meet someone's eyes if this was a topic of great difficulty or sensitivity to him.
“You might have guessed by now, that there was something I wanted to talk to you about, but I wasn’t sure how to go about this. Since this is our last Christmas, or Yule, or Hanukkah in your case at Hogwarts, I figured there was no time like the present.” Sirius hesitated and with his tongue wetted his lip and wiped away the slight moisture that was pooling in the dip of his upper lip. “That, and James said if I didn’t spill he’d dose me with Veritaserum and lock us in a room together; and this way, at least if you don’t like what I have to say, you can leave anytime.”
Remus leaned forward and grasped Sirius’s hands with his own, meeting the molten silver gaze with his own. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make me want to walk away from you, and drop our friendship and this bond that we have.”
Sirius swallowed heavily, “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”
Remus reeled back, breath punched out of him, ears ringing hollowly. Had he heard him right?
Sirius leaned forward and placed his now free hands onto Remus’ shoulders. “No. No! Listen to me. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore, at least not just friends. I want to be more than just friends. Remus; I think I love you.” His voice cracked on the last sentence, the air hanging still between them.
Remus stilled. Now that he’d definitely heard. How many times had he imagined those words spilling from Sirius’ mouth? How many times had he dreamed of this happening, and now, was it really coming to be?
Remus sobbed, elation lighting him up from inside. “Yes! Sirius yes, so many times yes. You’ve no idea just how many times I’ve wanted to ask you this same thing.”
Sirius sank backwards onto his heels with the weight of Remus flinging himself into his arms, tears of joy streaming down his face. He’d done it. He’d actually.. And it had… “IT WORKED!” He shouted and he gripped Remus tightly, needing to be grounded lest he fly away with this balloon of joy that was bubbling up inside of himself like a fountain overflowing.
They knelt there, kneeling on the stone floors and woolen cloaks until the sky changed pitch and cast shadows into the Tower. Remus pulled back with a sharp gasp, face contorting in pain.
“It’s time, isn’t it?” Remus nodded in answer to Sirius’ question.
“Its nearly sundown.” Sirius stood, and helped his… his boyfriend! to his feet. He scooped up the gifts as he trotted his way to the stairs, they could exchange them later. They had elsewhere to be.
The sun was rapidly sinking as they hurried their way across the ice-slicked grounds, following a familiar path to the Whomping Willow, meeting their friends under the now stilled branches of the great tree, ice cold ground hard under their hands, feet, and knees as they crawled and then walked into the familiar cavernous trail that led to the Shack. Remus unclasped his cloak, already prepared for the shift in his oldest clothing.
Just before the shift overtook Remus, Sirius called out with a cheerful grin and a playful wink; “Next time we come down into Hogsmeade, let’s do it properly. It’ll be our first date, what do you say, aye?” And then he shifted in midair, black fur melting down his arm, spine elongating, and soft pads hitting the wooden boards with a dull thump.
It was time for another full moon; but this one didn’t seem quite as bad as the others before it.