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Neil walked towards the forest, reluctant but resolved. The others were fast asleep and it would be hours before any of them woke, not even Kevin would be up until dawn hours from now. They'd all try to stop him, tell him it wasn't worth it whatever Riko wanted. Tell him there was nothing worth this price, whatever he was offering.
None of them, not even Nicky or Kevin, would see Andrew worth going to the Nest deep in the forest to bargain with the dark sorcerer that haunts its shadows. But Neil was willing to give any price to keep Riko's threats of harm towards Andrew from coming to pass. Andrew would be spending six weeks locked in medical confinement to break him of the potions used to temper his aggression. He was one of the greatest hunters in the lands, one along with Neil Kevin had assembled.
But the Dark Court, the court of the Raven King deep in the forest wanted hunters, wanted Kevin back after his betrayal of running away. Wanted Neil as well. He had made that plain many times and Neil had always turned him away with a sneer. But now, he could only hope offering himself was enough to keep him from going after Andrew, and possibly even Kevin. He could not let the others be endangered if it was him Riko wanted. He was done letting others be harmed for his actions.
Entering the forest, he felt the shadows slither and weave around him, unblinking black eyes watching, waiting to see what he would do. Ravens who were not ravens, but no longer completely human. Those who gave themselves to the sorcerer for the power to change their shape in exchange for their service. The greatest hunters, assassins, killers and thieves. The greatest, beyond the hunters of Kevin Day, which pissed Riko off to no end. He had lost his finest asset and it now took more prospects away from him. And Neil was about to help him. Something he would never do, except for one man.
And that man would kill him if he found out. The only bright side of this was the chance to see that fury in Andrew's eyes again.
He made it to the wide meadow, the only part of the forest bathed in moonlight that seemed of an otherworldly brightness. It appeared empty but Neil knew he was being watched from all sides as he approached, not yet daring to cross the rocks that marked its perimeter.
"Well," came a voice from the center of the meadow. Then, Riko appeared there, the black of his hair seeming to swallow the light of the moon, bending its rays around him in an unnatural aura that made Neil's skin crawl. He moved like a snake through water towards unsuspecting prey as he made his way to the edge, and to Neil, stopping inches away on the other side of the boundary.
"I came," was all Neil cared to say in reply. He felt Riko's eyes move over him, the pupil's large, nearly encompassing the iris. Better to see in the darkness he lived in, better to watch his prey.
"You did. Are you ready to pay the price for your man's life?"
Neil opened his mouth to say Andrew wasn't his, had made it clear that whatever they did was nothing but the passing of time. But it was worthless to explain anything to Riko, it would make no difference.
"Not a finger touched to him, and you can have whatever you want." As the words left his lips the warmth seemed to slip from the air. An agony gripped his muscles, spasming them together and apart, bones bending and twisting unnaturally. Was this what he had been brought for? To be tortured, to be killed? Was he just a message to be sent back to Kevin in a bloody heap?
But then the spasming began to have a purpose as the muscles began to contract, twist, shrink until Neil found himself once again standing, but not on his own two feet. He could find no fingers, no toes, no musculature he could recognize. Looking down at himself, he found black feathers, large wings.
He looked back up at Riko's dark laughter. Riko crouched before him, taking Neil roughly in both hands.
"You are not like the others, it is important for you to know. You would not come of your choosing, so you are not given the luxury of freedom. Every day, you may fly as high and as far as your black little heart desires. But be warned, you must be back by dusk. After this night, from dusk til dawn you shall return to your human form but only so long as you stay within the boundary of this meadow. Step out of it, and you will not live long enough to break the treeline. Let's see how long until your master comes crawling back to his natural place. Or if he abandons you to your fate."
Neil didn't know which was worse, but he knew it was worth it. To know Andrew would be safe. If he could just fly back, he could send a message, tell him-
"And just a word of warning," Riko called, walking back to the center of the meadow, Neil left in the wet grass. "The kingdom walls are half a days journey by flight. I would be careful, fly there and you might not make it back."
--
Andrew squinted as he stepped into the first direct sunlight he'd seen in six weeks. The most he'd had was from a thin slanted window high above his head, enough to keep him just sane enough as the withdrawal hit, then the emptiness, then the slow seep of numbness as he fell from the cliffs of mania into the comforting oceans of distance he'd sunk himself in so many years before.
He'd wondered, distantly, as he'd floated in that darkness, what Neil might think. Certainly he knew this side of Andrew, had seen it when the drugs wore off, had felt the edges of it beneath the mask the potions had offered. But he'd ridden the waves of it, never seen Andrew as a glassy pond of emptiness. Would he lose interest? Not that Andrew cared, of course. It was just a curious thought to pass the endless hours. The thoughts of the kisses, the long nights of touching and talking and not talking. His perfect recall had for once been a blessing as he replayed each day and night, every scene of them together. The runaway tracker with the secret past, the hunter who cared for nothing.
Andrew had once stripped Neil's torso bare and looked over every scar, cataloguing them, guessing what weapons had caused them while Neil told him if he was right or wrong. He'd gotten 16 out of 19, missing only the barbed arrow, serrated short sword, and red hot candlestick Andrew had guessed was a branding iron. In the darker nights he had drawn those scars over and over on his own chest, remembering the sounds Neil had made when he'd traced them each with a finger and then a tongue. Rolling his shoulders and adjusting himself to the light, he dimly wondered if he might get to do it again.
Once he could see beyond the glare he made out three figures in front of him. His twin Aaron, looking unimpressed and critical, his cousin Nicky, trying to smile beyond his nerves, and Kevin, already assessing the damage weeks spent in a cell might have done to his body, what would have to be done to bring him back up to form.
There was no fourth figure, no small red head behind the two towering men. He did not feel anything, not disappointment or annoyance. It was fine, as Neil would say. What did it matter to him? Neil was certainly busy, why would he take the time just to see the worst version of his occasional one night stand come back from hell?
Nicky made to hug him then thought better of it, but placed a cautious hand on Andrew's head for a moment. Andrew stared at him for two heartbeats before Nicky got the message and moved it back off.
"Welcome back, hasn't been the same without you." He tried again at that smile. Andrew looked at him then walked past, wanting a drink, food that wasn't a week old and wet, and a chance to sleep in a real bed again.
Nicky hurried to keep up while Kevin and Aaron fell back a few steps. "So, you're probably wondering where Neil is."
"No."
"Well, we all are. We haven't seen him since the night they took you."
Andrew stopped, Nicky nearly running into him.
"He ran?"
"Well see, we don't know. He left all his stuff, which doesn't seem his thing when he runs. I mean, leave all his clothes and money? Leave his weapons? It doesn't feel right."
Andrew turned to look past him to Kevin. Kevin swallowed and squared his shoulders, refusing to be chastised. "We've looked, but we can't find him. You're the best tracker after him, we thought-"
"The trail is six weeks old, what makes you think I could find him? It rained nine times while I was in there, any tracks or scent would be long washed away by now."
"Yeah well..." Nicky rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just, you know him best, so we thought you might know where he might be better than us? Where he might have gone?"
Andrew looked at each of them, their faces guilty, as Kevin and Nicky, or uncaring, as Aaron. He turned back around and headed inside the hunting lodge, up the stairs and to the left to Neil's room.
It was small and tidy, kept full of only what Neil found useful, without decoration. Dust had long begun to settle on the weapons Neil cared so thoroughly for. He'd never leave them by choice. So where would he go, for six weeks, completely unarmed?
The corner of a book caught his eye as he swept the room. It was the only thing askew, hurriedly put down and knocked at an angle. Something black stuck out one side. Andrew opened it, finding a small black feather and folded piece of paper. It had been ripped in half and only part of the message was left. "Come -- meadow or -- w will --nate accident."
"Meadow?" Andrew turned to the others.
Nicky shrugged. "We searched all the meadows within ten miles, we couldn't find a thing."
Andrew looked to Kevin, that familiar anger beginning to simmer in the core of his stomach. "Every meadow?"
Kevin swallowed again. "You can only get to that by night, I was not taking them into the forest when He is out."
Andrew grabbed the piece of paper and feather, stuffing it in his pocket and stopping by his room long enough to grab his quiver and bow, dusty as well from disuse. He'd have to check the strings once he was out there to make sure they hadn't loosened.
"Andrew, where are you going?" Kevin was still at the top of the stairs, shouting down. Andrew didn't bother to look back.
"To do your job." He slammed the door behind him.
--
Sitting on a rock in the forest, he adjusted his strings and sharpened the arrows. Kevin had never been specific about his past with Riko, the things he had done, the things he had seen. He hadn't changed into his second form in years, saying he felt a piece of his humanity slip away each time he chose to lose himself in that form. He especially had not told them how to find the meadow, fearful someone might hear and go looking for it. He had enough blood on his hands without leading unsuspecting innocents into Riko's hands. But he had said the Ravens all lived there, in the trees encircling it and every night they made their way back to roost.
So, naturally, Andrew did not need to find the meadow, just a Raven.
As he sharpened the last of his arrows, one happened to land at his feet. He looked down at it, raising an eyebrow. If it was a regular bird, it was either incredibly bold or incredibly stupid. If it was a Raven... Well, he guessed the same applied. He nudged it with his foot and it hopped an inch to the left, looking up at him before looking around, hopping in a circle and collecting sticks.
Andrew watched it, figuring this was his best shot so far at finding a way to the meadow. He sat up straighter when the bird began arranging the sticks by his feet. When he saw the three sticks make the letter N, he nocked an arrow and pointed it at the bird.
"You've got three seconds to change human and tell me where to find him."
The bird pecked the letter. Andrew shot at arrow, hitting the middle stick and snapping it. The bird hopped back.
"Two."
The bird looked at him then pecked again where the letter had been. Andrew nocked another arrow.
"One."
The bird took off, flying in the opposite direction, deeper into the trees. Andrew took after it, ripping his arrow from the ground and putting it back into his quiver as he passed.
The sun was getting low overhead, it must be heading back where it knew the others would be, for help. Let them come, he'd shoot all but one and leave the last to talk. He had no sympathies for Ravens, he knew enough to want them dead before they took Neil.
Leaping a fallen log he kept his eyes trained on the fleeing bird, not letting it get lost in the lengthening shadows. On and on the chase went with neither pursuer or prey tiring. Then, a clearing began to show up ahead, one Andrew had not seen before, though he'd hunted these woods a hundred times. The trees were empty so they must be the first back. Good, it would have no one to call for help.
As the sun began to dip below the horizon the bird flew over the rock barrier and, in a burst of feathers, a man tumbled to the ground in its place.
A man with burning red hair.
Andrew lowered his arrow as the man struggled to his feet and two piercing blue eyes met his.
"Fucker." Andrew took a step forward but Neil held up his hands to stop him.
"Don't, you don't want to cross that line."
Andrew looked down at the circle of white rocks ringing the meadow then back up at Neil. He looked like Neil, but the occasional black feather poked out from his hair, either stuck from the transformation or they'd begun to grow. Andrew had seen the feathers that grew along Kevin's shoulder blades, had heard Kevin talk of the other Ravens who no longer looked human in their human forms they had been changing so long. Andrew held his ground but looked back to Neil.
"Give me one good reason not to shoot you right now."
"I'm a witty conversationalist?" He gave a crooked smile and it was hard not to loose another arrow at his feet.
"Try again."
"Because I didn't come here of my own choosing?"
"Closer."
At the word Neil moved closer, standing on the other side of the wall.
"I missed you."
"Shut up."
"They're not good to talk to here, it's awful. Some of them can hardly talk at all anymore, not like-"
As Neil spoke Andrew had let his eyes wander down the length of him, looking for any other new additions. Black and blue marks showed from beneath Neil's collar. Neil noticed the attention and tried to cover them, but Andrew grabbed his hand before he could.
"Like I said, not great company."
Andrew really wanted to shoot him but he couldn't let go of Neil's wrist, feeling the heat of it burn his skin. With his other hand, he lifted the hem of Neil’s shirt to his collarbone and catalogued all the new injures he saw there. Bruises mottled the skin, some old and yellowing, others deep blue and still forming. Andrew’s hand shook with the effort it took not to throttle Neil for walking into this.
“So, why did you come here, then?” He knew he probably didn’t want to hear the answer, would hate Neil all the more when he heard it, but he needed to understand why they were here in these woods and not reacquainting themselves back on the roof of the lodge.
“He sent me a letter, he said if I didn’t come he would hurt you and-” Andrew let Neil’s shirt fall so he could clap a trembling hand over his mouth, needing to not hear another word of this. He had expected Neil to say he had been afraid with Andrew in jail and wanted a bigger body guard, or it had been a trick, or something that was not Neil saying he had fucking done this to himself for Andrew.
“If you value your life you will not finish that sentence.” He let his hand drop when Neil had given a nod that he understood.
“Someone has to watch your back too, Andrew.”
“Not you, not like this. I never asked-”
“Of course you never asked, you would never ask anyone to do anything for you because you don’t give a shit about yourself! Well the others may be fine with you risking your neck for us without giving back the same but I’m not. So just get used to the idea that someone else has taken up the job because you can’t be trusted to.” Neil was breathing hard by the end of his tirade, blue eyes burning, and if he had been any other person Andrew would have let one of his knives fall from their sheathes into his hand and made sure he never said something like that again.
But Andrew couldn’t move, couldn’t speak around the fury that Neil was stupid enough to put himself in danger in this misguided attempt to watch Andrew’s back. If Andrew wanted to get himself killed that was his own damn business and he didn’t know why it mattered to Neil so much whether-
Neil’s head snapped up. “They’re coming back, you have to go. We can’t let him see you here.”
Andrew tugged at Neil’s wrist. “Fine, let’s go.” But Neil shook his head.
“I’m stuck here at night when I’m human, I can only leave during the day when I fly out.” He looked to the sky again, nervous. “Andrew you have to go, I’ll explain more tomorrow but now you have to go before He can get to you.”
Andrew watched him a moment before deciding fuck it. “Yes or no?”
Neil looked to him, confusion and relief in his eyes before he let out a breathless “Yes,” and buried his fingers in Andrew’s hair, pulling him in.
Andrew took Neil’s face in his hands and kissed him, hard. Kissed him for each day he’d been in that cell, each time he’d thought about kissing Neil and was left with the pale shadow of his memory. Kissed him because it was the one thing that could ease the knot between his lungs and because he hated Neil too much to look at his stupid fucking face right now.
Neil pulled back first, hands still tangled in Andrew’s hair, mouth just far away from Andrew’s to say, “You really have to go.”
“I’ll come back.”
“I know, I’ll find you.”
And with that Neil stepped back, out of Andrew’s reach, and Andrew turned and walked away without a backwards glance. He knew if he looked again and saw Neil standing there, alone, while the Ravens flew back in the distant sky, he wouldn’t be able to leave.
--
It was dawn by the time Andrew made it back to the lodge, exhausted and glad no one else was up yet so they couldn’t bother him for details. Trudging up the stairs he wiped the dirt from the arrows he fired and put them back in their quiver. He had to walk through Kevin’s room to get to his own, a lack of privacy the others had refused to tolerate but Kevin had asked for, his paranoia quelled at the idea Andrew would have to always know where he was. He had enlisted Andrew’s protection when he first ran from the Ravens, fearful of every shadow and convinced Riko would come for him in the night.
As he made his way through Kevin’s room, his eye caught on something in the darkness. By all accounts he shouldn’t have seen it, it was black in a pitch black room, but as much as he hated to admit it, Kevin and Neil were right about his hunter’s eye picking up the smallest necessary details.
Because sticking out from under a pile of books, as if the owner wanted to avoid seeing it but was too afraid to throw it away, was a piece of paper with the tip of a black feather poking out.
Andrew gracelessly pulled it out from under the books, letting them fall to the floor. Kevin jumped awake, grabbing a knife before realizing it was Andrew and lighting a lamp.
“Andrew, what the hell-” But Andrew held up a finger, silencing him.
He unfolded the paper, the black feather falling to the floor and Kevin scrambling to grab it before it landed.
It was a short message. “Come to the meadow or your Andrew will have an unfortunate accident.” Andrew didn’t need to look at the scrap of note in his pocket to know it was the same message Neil got.
Riko had doubled his odds in catching his prey.
Kevin had known for a fact where Neil had gone, and he told the others not to look there. He had been too much of a coward to go there himself.
Neil’s bruised body came back to Andrew and Kevin was running before Andrew had dropped the paper.
He chased Kevin down the hall, hearing doors open behind them as the other hunters woke and investigated the noise. Andrew didn’t care, didn’t listen as Nicky yelled after him or Matt asked what the hell was going on while Dan simply answered, “Andrew’s back.”
Andrew cornered Kevin in the study, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him up against the bookcase.
“You knew!”
“Andrew-”
“You knew where he was the whole time and you left him there! Do you know what they’ve done to him? What they’re going to keep doing?”
Kevin’s eyes were panicked but at that they showed a deep, primal fear and resignation. “I know better than anyone.”
Andrew tightened his hands, wanting to see Kevin bruised like Neil. “And you just left him there like a fucking coward, knowing it was you He wants.”
“Andrew, please, I can’t-”
Andrew tugged Kevin forward by his neck and slammed him back against the bookcase. “Rethink your words carefully.”
By then Matt, Nicky, and Aaron were tugging him off and Andrew let go, watching with some satisfaction as Kevin coughed and rubbed his throat.
“What the hell is going on here?” Matt was the first to speak, looking between two of his least favorite members of the hunting party.
Andrew didn’t take his eyes off Kevin. “I found Neil, he’s been at the Nest this whole time. And Kevin knew.”
“What!” Dan stepped forward, ready to strangle Kevin herself, but Matt put a hand on her shoulder to keep her back.
“Why is he there? How did he get there?”
Andrew had no interest in revealing all the details out loud, they were bad enough burning in the back of his skull. He gave them as much truth as they needed.
“Riko’s got him there, under some sort of curse. He’s a Raven during the day and trapped in the nest at night.” He caught Kevin’s gaze, trying to communicate how close he was to being gutted. “Which means you’re the one who’s going to figure out how to break the curse.”
Kevin nodded, swallowing hard. “Let me get my books.”
Half an hour later they were all clustered around a table covered in spell books as Kevin flipped through, trying to find the page he was looking for. They had been the first thing he bought after escaping, hoping to surround himself with curse breaking knowledge should Riko ever come after him. He seemed to move with purpose and that eased Andrew’s mind slightly. If Kevin knew what this was, then they wouldn’t waste any time fixing it.
Nicky watched, confused. “I don’t get it, why doesn’t Neil just leave like Kevin? He can fly during the day, right? So why not just fly back here?”
Kevin didn’t look up as he continued scanning and flipping pages. “Because his curse is different than mine. There is the voluntary form, which I and the other Ravens took on, which gives you the freedom to do with the curse what you want, and the involuntary, which is what I’m guessing Neil is under. It has more restrictions, because otherwise there’s no point in cursing someone if they can just choose not to be cursed.”
“So what are Neil’s restrictions?”
Kevin looked to Andrew for that one. Andrew didn’t look away from the flipping pages.
“Bird by day, human by night, can’t leave the meadow as a human or something will happen. He did not say what.” Fuck, he should have asked. He shouldn’t have wasted what time they had and asked for all the information Neil had on his curse.
Kevin nodded, making a satisfied noise as he found the pages he was looking for. One had a picture of a human standing placidly next to a farm animal, the other had the human cowering beside it. Not the most encouraging sign.
“Okay, found it. Cause of the curse… Forming the curse… Affects of the curse… Here we go, breaking it.” He opened his mouth then to read it but closed it again after a moment, frowning.
Andrew had no patience for this. “What is it?”
When Kevin didn’t say, Aaron walked behind him to look over Kevin’s shoulder, letting out a short laugh. “Shit, Riko picked a good one for you.”
Andrew grabbed the book and pulled it around to read it, the other hunters clustering around to see what it said. Andrew saw the words “Vow of everlasting love” and shoved the book back at Kevin.
“Find another way.”
“Another- Andrew, there aren’t other ways, each curse has one way to fix it, this just happens to be the way you break this one.”
“It’s not like we all don’t know it already,” Allison said, as if that wasn’t the stupidest conclusion a human could make after seeing Andrew and Neil together.
“There is nothing to know. There’s no point in saying it if it isn’t true, it wouldn’t break the curse. Find another way.”
Kevin looked about to argue again so Renee piped up. “Can’t one of us do it? We all love Neil, it would be easy to just have one of us say it.”
Allison nodded. “Exactly, cause if not you could just go cursing every single or uninterested person in the country and no one would be able to break it.”
Kevin shook his head, looking back to the book. “It’s not just about saying it, even meaning it. Curse breaking involves sacrifice. For this, it’s not just saying you love them, it has to be in a way you do not feel about someone else, or at least don’t plan to say out loud to anyone else. You could tell Neil you loved him, but then never say it to anyone you felt a similar love for or else Neil would die.”
Nicky winced. “Shit, that’s harsh.”
Kevin gave him an exasperated look. “It’s a curse, Nicky. They don’t like being broken, if it was easy then there’d be no point in cursing people. Aaron could do it for Andrew, were he in that position, because they don’t have any other siblings so they can’t love someone else the way they love their sibling. But any of you doing it would mean you’d have to spend the rest of your life careful about any affection you showed a friend in case it was too much and the curse killed Neil for it. It has to be someone with a wholly unique relationship to Neil. And as he has no living parents or siblings…” He trailed off and they all looked to Andrew again.
“Guess we’ll have to buy him a bird cage.”
“Andrew, seriously? You can’t talk about your feelings for two seconds to save Neil from the Ravens?” Nicky was clearly furious and Andrew put a hand to the sheath he kept under his right sleeve in warning, shutting him up.
“Like Kevin said, you can’t just say it. It wouldn’t do anything for me to say it.”
The others began arguing again. With him, with each other, trying to decide who might love Neil uniquely enough that it would work without risking his safety. Andrew tuned them out, flipping further through the book.
“What about this?” He pointed to a page and Kevin leaned forward, frowning.
“What page is that?”
“Ending multiple curses at once, you kill the caster and they all go away.”
Kevin looked unsure. “It might, but that’s really for when someone curses knives to chase townsfolk, or packs of wolves to run through a village. It’s not traditionally used to break curses on people because those are different.”
“But if we killed Riko, it could potentially break the curse on Neil and any others he’s made.”
Kevin looked at the page, conflicted. “Potentially. But Andrew, we don’t know that will work, it could get us killed in the process going after him and it might not even work.”
“Not us, me.”
Allison scoffed. “You can’t be serious, you really think we’re just going to sit back and leave Neil’s safety to just you? It would be better if we all went, overpowered Him. It’s how we’ve always hunted.”
Andrew looked at her blankly. “You would be too focused on keeping Renee safe, Dan and Matt would be trying to protect each other, none of you would be able to focus on killing Him while worrying He was about to hurt one of the others. He’s not a herd of deer, someone could get killed and I’m not having you drag me down by not focusing on the task at hand.”
She looked like she wanted to hit him but he didn’t miss the split second flick of her eyes to Renee that said he was right, that as soon as they were in danger she wouldn’t be able to keep herself from worrying over her safety. And the others knew it too, angry as they were.
Andrew had to go alone, he was the only one with nothing to lose, the only one who could throw himself into the fight without worrying about someone else.
He looked back to Kevin, who seemed caught between a reluctance to send Andrew on a mission that might not work, and anticipation of having Riko eliminated from his life once and for all.
Finally, he said, “At the full moon, Riko releases the Ravens to fly out of the forest and wherever they want. It’s too bright for them to hunt in the shadows properly. It would just be Him and Neil in the Nest.”
Andrew nodded, looking to the moon calendar on the wall. “So we have 6 days.”
--
Neil sat in the meadow, watching the east for the sun to rise. He spent all day waiting for it to set so he could get his human form back, then all night to be turned back into a Raven so he could leave. He’d never been trapped in one place before and it grated on his nerves. Not being able to sleep while under the curse made it worse. The others could sleep, either as humans under the trees or as Ravens in its branches, but Neil could not. At first he had spent days trying, closing his eyes in the darkest places he could find and relaxing every muscle in his body. But the magic thrumming through his veins kept him ever awake and refreshed. He had, admittedly, thought of how this curse could be enjoyable under different circumstances. Spending the days flying with the others, hunting through the forests, then spending his nights sparring with Kevin, talking with Matt, Dan, Renee, and Alison, kissing Andrew.
Kissing Andrew. He ran a thumb over his bottom lip. It had been so long, the days and nights all blurring together, that he had forgotten what kissing Andrew had been like, wondered if it had been a strange dream he had woken from. But Andrew kissed him like he always had, like the world was ending and there was nowhere else he’d rather be, like nothing mattered in that moment but Neil.
Of course, Neil knew he didn’t matter like that to Andrew, not really. But was it so bad that he liked the way it felt anyway, the illusion of being wanted by someone like Andrew?
The first ray of sun poked over the horizon and Neil was off, crossing the threshold and feeling the familiar twist of muscle and bone as he took into the air. The pain lessened each time but Neil always tried to focus on it, kept himself from enjoying the change or embracing it. He had seen enough of the other Ravens who had changed too much, too often, for too long, covered in feathers and barely able to speak anymore. He had been plucking the feathers from his hair every night but more always grew.
He’d learned to be careful of not leaving the meadow too soon those first few days. The first time he’d turned back to human he’d turned around and left the meadow. The first step he took outside its perimeter had felt as if a syphon had been attached to him and any strength he had began seeping out. He’d only made it five steps before his legs had given out, and he’d had to drag himself back within the walls to keep himself from passing out. He didn’t know how long he would have lasted outside the circle but it couldn’t be long. Riko didn’t want him getting away.
But Neil wasn’t going to think about that now. He was free, or free as he could be, and he could feel that Andrew was somewhere near the boundary of the forest and coming closer. This, too, he hated to admit was something he could enjoy without it being part of Riko’s curse. He had become part of the forest, could feel what moved within it as if it moved within his body, felt it as an extension of himself. The day Andrew came for him he had known it, known it and flown as quickly as he could towards him. Of course, the double edge of the sword meant the others could feel it too. Knew the others, and Riko, knew that Andrew was here. But where they could feel him they could not hear him so if no Ravens were around they had some semblance of privacy. If they didn’t know him, they would think him just another hunter.
Neil wished there was any other way he could speak with Andrew that didn’t involve him having to come to the forest, he hated the others knowing about Andrew, feeling his presence, the beating of his heart in the woods like a beacon. He’d done this to keep Andrew safe and every time he came back he was putting himself in greater risk.
Shit, was this how Andrew always felt about him? He should apologize for that some time, he hadn’t realized how aggravating it was trying to keep alive someone with seemingly no care about their own safety.
The full moon was closing in. Andrew had told him of the plan the second day, drawing Neil out of the forest and further away from any of Riko’s spies. Neil didn’t like it, wished Andrew would leave it alone and not try something so dangerous, but he knew first hand that when you touched something that belonged to Andrew you didn’t live long to regret it. It was in his principle to kill Riko for hurting Neil, whom he had promised to protect. So Neil just had to deal with it.
Neil was halfway out of the forest, and Andrew halfway in, when he hit an invisible wall, falling back before catching himself on a branch. He tried again, flying forward and bumping into it. He perched on a branch and pecked at it experimentally. It felt solid to him, but the tree was able to pass through as if nothing were there, and below a mouse ran along the forest floor and through the wall without an issue. So it was only him being kept out.
Or in.
He looked up and saw Andrew walking down the path, bow in hand, when another Raven flew past him, a piece of paper in its beak. Neil beat his wings against the wall, trying to find a weak spot. Andrew looked up at the Raven as it landed on a rock beside him, raising an eyebrow at it. Neil tried to caw to get his attention but by the way the sound reverberated back at him, he knew Andrew could neither see nor hear him.
Andrew picked up the paper the bird put in front of him, hopping expectantly as he read it. After a moment he looked back up at the bird and, quick as lightning, had an arrow out and trained on the bird.
“Where is he?”
The bird hopped again, pecking at the dropped paper. Andrew pulled back the bow string. The Raven looked like it would try again then thought better of it, flying back the way it came. The wall came down as it flew past and Andrew’s eyes went from it to Neil, lowering the bow.
Neil flew down to the rock, cocking his head to read the paper.
“I heard Riko say how to lift the curse. Do you want to try?”
Neil blinked at it. Andrew had said they would lift the curse by killing Riko, why would a Raven pretend to be him to get Riko killed? Was there another way to lift the curse?
He looked back up at Andrew, cocking his head in the other direction. Andrew took the paper and crumpled it, putting it in his pocket.
“Forget it, they’re just desperate and trying to make us screw up.”
Neil pecked the rock and hopped back and forth once, cocking his head to the side again. Andrew stared at him.
“You think I can’t tell which bird is and isn’t you? You’re the only one I want to kill on sight.”
Neil pecked Andrew’s hand and Andrew flipped him off before letting Neil perch on his shoulder while he tracked, letting Neil occasionally tug at his hair to tell him if he should go in a different direction.
Again, Neil did not like his curse. But there were moments with its advantages.
--
The morning came again, and Neil tried not to fidget or draw attention to himself. Today was the day the others would fly away and leave the forest. Riko would be at his weakest with the fewest shadows to draw from. And Andrew was going to come to the forest to kill Him.
Neil watched while the others shifted at dawn and flew off, having heard them talk all night about where they were going to go. A lake, a waterfall, another town, places they spent all month dreaming of for their day of freedom. Neil sat and watched until they had all left the Nest, feeling the way the magic seemed to weaken slightly with the brightest day of the month. Riko was strongest at the new moon, when the forest was plunged into darkness, and even more so in winter when the days were shortest. Today was the Autumnal equinox, when day and night were equal. Neil would have preferred Andrew come in the summer when Riko was weaker still, but they couldn’t risk waiting through winter. Besides, tonight was a harvest moon. They had to take advantage of it now and not waste their chance.
Once he was alone Neil took off into the woods again. Andrew would not be coming until it was night when Riko would be in the Nest so he had the day to kill. After an hour or so of flying, idly hunting for something worth playing with, he found a pair of townsmen hunting in the woods and decided to fly overhead and hear local news. Andrew was not very helpful with keeping Neil up to date with current affairs.
“Too bad about tonight, would have been a beauty to see it.”
“I know, I’m still hoping we’ll get a chance but with those clouds, I don’t think we’ll be able to see much tonight.”
Clouds? Neil flew up to the top of the nearest tree to see the sky and his heart sank. Clouds were moving in from the east. Thick, heavy, and black. The perfect clouds to block a harvest moon and plunge the forest into enough darkness for Riko to be as powerful as if it were a new moon.
And Andrew was still coming. Alone.
Neil looked to the town. It would be hours to fly to it, and he’d still need to get back after he found some way to tell the hunters they couldn’t let Andrew come tonight. He’d already burned an hour of daylight. He’d have to fly faster than he ever had if he was going to make it back to the meadow before he changed back. But he had to try. He couldn’t let Andrew walk into a trap. They would figure out a new day, a new full moon.
With that, he stretched out his wings and flew towards town.
--
It was past mid day by the time Neil landed on the window to Kevin’s room, exhausted. He hadn’t stopped once in the hours of flight but he couldn’t stop now. Kevin was nowhere to be seen, Andrew was preparing in the hunting shack near the forest, too close to the trees to properly see the encroaching clouds and danger. Neil had considered flying there first but he didn’t know where it was, and did know nothing would convince him. He needed all of their help stopping Andrew if it would work.
Taking a breath he flew through the familiar halls, looking for any of his team that might still be here. Luckily, Renee was in the weapons room sharpening old blades, and she stopped when she saw him, eyes wary, her hold on the dagger in her hand shifting to an offensive position.
Neil flew to his row of weapons, landing on his bow. Nothing delineated the different weapons, only those on the team who knew the room like the backs of their hands knew what belonged to who. Renee’s eyes lit up and she put the dagger and stone aside, rushing to him.
“Neil! Oh we’ve missed you.” She stroked a finger from the top of his head to his tail. Neil let himself lean into the comforting touch for a moment, soaking up Renee’s calming presence, before he flew to the table and began pecking at a pen and paper. Renee hurried over, picking them up.
Neil pecked once at the table.
“What does that mean, Neil?” She looked confused and worried, seeming to understand the urgency. Neil looked around and found a supply list. Neil pecked once at the A in arrow, then twice at the B on bow. Renee nodded in comprehension, pen in hand.
“I’m ready, Neil.”
Slowly, because it was easy for one or both of them to lose count of what letter Neil was trying to peck out, he was able to spell out. “Andrew danger clouds.”
Renee went to the window and saw the clouds advancing over the forest. “He won’t be able to see them until they’re about to cover the moon, he won’t know he’s in danger.”
She looked back to Neil.
“You don’t have much time, you have to get back. I’ll gather the others and we’ll get to the forest. I know he doesn't want our help but right now it’s the only option. Thank you Neil, fly safe and come back to us.”
Neil nodded, pecking once at her hand in gratitude before flying out the window and back to the forest. Already, he could see the sun was well past its zenith and heading towards the western horizon behind him, and he was so tired. But he needed to get to the forest, be there when Andrew reached the meadow. It was the only chance to keep him safe.
Neil just hoped he was fast enough.
--
The sun was nearly set as Neil finally entered the forest. He couldn’t feel Andrew anywhere, so he must be waiting for sunset to go in. Neil hoped so, he needed to get back before Andrew did. He didn’t know exactly where the hunting shelter he was in was located, and it was too far outside the boundary of the forest for him to be able to sense its location. He had no idea where exactly Andrew would be entering from until he was there. Shit, he should have asked, shouldn’t have relied on them meeting at the meadow without complications.
He was nearing the meadow when his muscles began to tremble. Not now, not now-
He fell to the ground with a thud, immediately feeling the strength begin to seep away from him as he lay on the ground, bones shifting back into place. He wasn’t too far from the meadow, but far enough he didn’t know if he’d make it before passing out.
Just then, three things happened at once. Andrew entered the forest, thunder crashed overhead, and Riko vanished from the Nest.
Shit.
So, Neil had two options. Run to the meadow and hope Andrew figured out for himself this was a bad idea and left before Riko found him, or turn around and see if he could make it to Andrew in time to try and make him leave.
Like the night this all started, it wasn’t really much of a choice.
Neil turned from the meadow, and began to run.
He was used to running through pain, through exhaustion, the point where his body should give out and past it. Before, it had always been for himself, survival instincts insisting he run until he reached safety or his lungs exploded, whichever came first. But even then he wouldn’t have made it to Andrew without collapsing.
But he wasn’t that Neil anymore, the Neil who only cared for his own safety, who ran for himself. For once, he had something that was more important than himself and who cares if that person didn’t care as much for him. Hell, if he died then Andrew not caring was better because it meant he wouldn’t be affected like the others would be.
Neil had spent his life with nothing to live for but the need to live, and now he had found something he was willing to die for.
--
Andrew heard the clap of thunder as he entered the forest. Well, that was inconvenient. But he wasn’t going back now, not with everything so close to being finished. He was going to kill Riko, free Kevin, and break Neil’s curse. The forest would be theirs again. And Neil would be back.
As he walked he counted the seconds between the lightning and the thunder. So far it was four, so about four miles away. The rain had begun but it would be some time before it came in earnest. He could shoot in the rain, but if the wind picked up he’d have to account for that. He doubted he’d get close enough to use a knife, but he could hope.
He hadn’t been walking long when the air began to change. Darkness overhead came thicker and he looked up through the canopy to see no moon, no stars, nothing but darkness as the air seemed to thicken with magic he recognized from the Nest, heavy and sickly.
Riko had left his Nest.
Well, that threw a wrench in the plans.
Andrew nocked an arrow in preparation, keeping his eyes flicking from side to side for any movement, any sign he was being followed or watched.
A crack came from his left and he raised the arrow, ready to fire, only for Neil to crash through the brush instead of Riko. Andrew pulled the arrow aside in time to keep from impaling Neil, catching him with one arm as he stumbled.
“Why aren’t you-”
“He’s coming, Andrew you have to leave, it’s too much, He’s too powerful tonight.” Neil pushed weakly at Andrew back towards the edge of the forest.
“You said you have to be in the meadow.”
“I do, I should, but you have to go Andrew, not even you can beat him when he’s-”
Another bolt of lightning somewhere, followed three seconds later by a clap of thunder, and Riko was standing twenty feet away.
Neil twisted and stood in front of Andrew, trying to block him and give him a chance to run, the idiot. He was trembling, and Andrew didn’t like the sickly color to his cheeks. What happened if he was outside the Nest too long?
Riko just laughed. “You continue to surprise me, Neil. I can’t believe you’ve made it this long outside. But don’t they say ‘we do stupid things when we’re in love’? I wouldn’t know, personally, but I’ve certainly seen enough stupidity in my life to believe it.”
Andrew could feel his heart begin to pound. It was very bad that Neil was here, he had to get him back to the Nest. Could he distract Riko long enough for Neil to go? Would Neil go, if he came here to try and make Andrew leave?
If this bastard died because of him, Andrew would never forgive him.
He nocked an arrow and shot for Riko, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke before reappearing ten feet to the left. Neil shifted in front of Andrew again.
“Just go, he doesn’t want you, he’ll let you leave, just go.”
“Shut up.” Andrew went to nock another arrow but grabbed Neil around the middle as his legs gave out. Andrew went to one knee, trying to keep Neil up as he went down, gasping for breath.
“Andrew, go. ”
“I have to get you back to Nest.”
“It’s too- Just go, I’ll be fine.”
“Fuck you.”
Riko laughed and disappeared again, this time not reappearing, though his laugh echoed through the trees around them. Rain was falling heavier now and Andrew tried to swipe it out of his eyes to get his bearings, his other arm trying to keep Neil from sliding to the ground. Which way had he come in? Which way was the Nest? Rikos moving had disoriented him and the rain was muddling the usual trails. Fuck, he was the best tracker in the kingdom why couldn’t he manage to think?
Neil drew in a shaky breath and Andrew tried to pull him up. “Come on, we have to go.”
“I’m not, I won’t let you go further, Andrew, the closer you get the more powerful he’ll be.”
“Will you die if we don’t get you back?” He looked at Neil and read the answer on his face, trying again to haul him up. He’d carry him if he had to. But then something hard hit his side and sent him flying into the nearest tree before hitting the ground, Neil now a heap a few yards away, Andrew’s bow beside him.
Andrew moved to get up but only got to his knees before another blow knocked him back. Between the rain and the darkness he could barely see, his eyes trying desperately to adjust fast enough, but every time they did lightning would flash through the sky, blinding him, so close there was hardly time after the light before the thunder struck loud enough to knock him to his knees.
Riko was laughing again, appearing and disappearing around him, coming close enough to land a blow then disappearing before Andrew could recover enough to hit back. Blood was running into his eyes with the rain from a gash along his hairline and he tried to swipe it away, the last thing he needed being a greater loss in vision. He backed into a tree, casting around for Riko but his eyes continually going back to Neil slumped on the forest floor. Andrew couldn’t see well enough to tell if he was breathing.
Riko was in front of him again, grinning wickedly, when an arrow shot from the darkness, grazing his arm and landing somewhere behind Andrew. Riko turned to look, giving Andrew time to bolt to Neil’s side, sliding in the mud and grabbing his shoulder, shaking him. A volley of arrows began to shoot from outside the forest, one with yellow fletchings Andrew would know anywhere as Renee’s. The others had come.
Riko snarled and turned to them, the nature of the shadows around them warping and shifting to curl in around him, giving Andrew enough light to see Neil’s deathly pale face. He took Neil by the back of the head and tried to shake him, needed him to wake up. Fuck, fuck, open your fucking eyes!
He looked up at Riko as He threw balls of fire into the darkness, trying to hit one of the hunters. Another bolt of lightning lit up the sky, and Andrew saw the fire Riko had ready in his hand fizzle away for that brief moment.
The light was his weakness, he couldn’t attack when lightning struck. If Andrew could get close enough, if the others could keep him distracted-
Riko shot something into the air then, something that Andrew didn’t recognize as any form of matter but knew instinctively was a beacon. He was calling the Ravens back for aid. And by the sounds coming from the surrounding darkness, it was not just the Ravens he could command in the forest if he needed to.
Andrew had Neil half pulled into his lap, an arm around him in some pathetic attempt to shield him from Riko. He watched as wild beasts came from the darkness and ran towards the edge of the woods where Riko could not go. The others could handle that, they were hunters after all, but there was only so much help they could give while fighting the wild animals.
Andrew looked to the sky. Lightning would come again soon and he had to move now. Riko would only be off His game for so long before His full attention was back to Andrew and Neil.
His arrows were long gone, crushed or knocked out of sight and he couldn’t waste time looking for them. He grabbed his bow and swung at Riko, connecting with the back of his head with a solid crack like the thunder overhead. Riko turned on him, furious but clearly injured. He couldn’t disappear when the lightning hit. Andrew just needed to time the blows right.
He let himself sink into the familiar mental space of the hunter, letting his awareness fill every part of himself. Let his ears pick up the faintest crackle in the air, feeling the prick of his skin as the hairs raised on end, and struck again when the next bolt came.
“I can give him back, you know!” Riko called, blood streaming down one side of his head, hair plastered down, eyes wild and frenzied. He disappeared and reappeared beside Andrew, the blow knocking him to the ground. He scrambled to get up again but a knee caught him under the chin, sending him flying backwards.
“You know how to break it, I know you know.”
Andrew lunged but the next blow hit him in the side of the head and he was stunned for a moment, his ear ringing harshly. Riko loomed over him, grinning manically.
“Or, of course.” He bent down then, taking Andrew’s chin in his hand, jerking it upwards to force Andrew to meet His gaze. “You could say please.”
Andrew watched the grin spread across Riko’s face and waited, a breath of a moment, for the lightning to strike once more.
In that moment, while Riko stared into his eyes, Andrew let one knife slip from its sheath into his hand. As the light flashed, blinding him, he thrust upwards, burying the knife to the hilt.
A spray of blood hit him but he kept his hand steady until the light faded and he could see Riko’s surprised, blank stare meet his before Andrew dropped his hand and let Riko fall to the side, dead.
Immediately, Andrew could feel the air thin, lighten, as the unnatural shadows faded, the sounds of the snarling beasts cut off, and the oppressive weight that had blanketed it for years finally lifted.
Andrew only took a moment to catalogue the change before getting back to Neil. He turned him onto his back, putting a hand to his face, ready to be the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, when Andrew felt the strange chill to his skin, the stillness, the way his breath did not whisper over the skin of Andrew’s wrist.
No.
Andrew slid his hand down to Neil’s neck, rubbing his thumb along where he’d always found Neil’s pulse, beating frantic or rhythmic or lazy, depending on what they were doing, what Andrew was doing to him. He’d pressed his lips there a hundred times to savor the feeling that he now could not find.
Fucking shit fucking no fuck!
Andrew put his hands to Neil’s chest and began pressing, pumping Neil’s heart for him, only stopping to blow a breath of air into his mouth before starting the compressions again.
Shit fucking Neil was not going to just fucking die on him, not after everything, not after this.
He’d killed Riko, the curses were gone, Neil should be waking up, he should be fine. That’s how this went, you slay the dragon and the princess leaves the tower. No story ended with the dragon dying and the hero not being able to get the damn door to the tower open. You didn’t go through everything, almost dying, just to lose the thing you were trying to protect the entire time. That’s not how it worked, it wasn’t fair!
Fair, when had anything in Andrew’s life been fair? When had he started believing he’d get the fairytale ending? When he’d been going through life asleep only for Neil to wake him up? When Neil had been the first person to look at him like he might not be the villain after all, but the hero? When Neil had gone into the forest in the first place, just to keep someone like Andrew safe?
And where did Neil get off, trying to keep him safe? Acting like that was his job? Would Nicky or Aaron have gone into the woods for him? Certainly Kevin wouldn’t, hadn’t. So where they fuck did Neil get off, acting like he could get himself hurt, get himself killed, for Andrew?
“What did I tell you about playing the martyr card?” he gritted out, shoulders screaming in pain from the pumping and abuse, begging him to stop, to see what was obvious, that this wasn’t working, that he was trying to fix something that was finally too broken to be put back together again.
Fuck that, Andrew wasn’t stopping, couldn’t stop, would rip Neil’s chest open and pump his heart with his bare hands if he had to before he was going to stop trying to bring Neil back to him. Because Neil was his. Neil belonged to Andrew, just like the others. Neil was the one thing he had, the one thing he asked to be able to keep. He accepted Kevin would one day not need his protection, Nicky and Aaron would find people to settle down with. Neil was the one thing he asked to be able to keep and of course he couldn’t have it.
His rain and blood slick hands slipped off Neil, landing on either side of his head, Andrew gasping and panting over him, the panic finally boiling up from his stomach and overflowing.
“Fuck!”
He slammed his fists into the ground, digging his fingers into the too yielding earth before bringing them up to tangle in his hair, squeezing his eyes shut because he couldn’t keep looking at Neil’s face and the realization there was nothing there anymore.
He hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t asked for Neil. Hadn’t asked him to come into his life, to let Andrew kiss him and fuck him and tell him things not even Aaron or Nicky knew about him. Didn’t ask for Neil to sleep in his bed or tell him his secrets. Didn’t ask to get up in the morning to see Neil’s face, to fall asleep to his breathing, to learn every edge and scar he had, be let inside something he hadn’t ever considered wanting because he didn’t want, never wanted, but now it felt like he needed and he couldn’t get back the thing he’d grown to need like the oxygen he couldn’t get his lungs to breathe in and out because they didn’t want to, not now. They’d learned what it felt like to gasp in air after drowning in a kiss that made time itself stand still, knew what it was like to synchronize with another’s breathes late at night when nothing else existed.
He twisted his fingers deeper into his hair because he wanted to destroy something but he had nothing left but himself. If Neil were alive he’d kill him for dying, for leaving Andrew as if it wouldn’t kill him. He wanted to rip the knife from Riko’s chest and bury it in Neil’s because something needed to feel the pain he was feeling, something needed to know that every ragged, shallow breathe was opening a wound in his chest that he couldn’t begin to close. And if anything deserved it it was Neil who had wormed his way under Andrew’s skin, between his ribs and into the space between his lungs where Andrew couldn’t get him back out.
He didn’t know where to go. Every other time he’d been broken open, flayed and raw to the uncaring elements, he’d dug deeper inside but that’s where Neil was and he couldn’t go any further in, nor could he go any further out because Neil was there too. He had infused himself to every facet of Andrew’s life and now Andrew couldn’t escape the presence and the absence.
He wanted to scream, to yell, to beat the earth until his hands broke and he could never hold a bow again, until they forgot the shape of Neil’s scars or the curve of his jaw.
But he couldn’t. All he could get out was a thick, raw, “I hate you.”
He sat, drenched through, blood sliding off him in thick muddy rivers, and didn’t move when he felt a ragged gasp and cough beneath him. Didn’t move when a hoarse voice said his name because he must really be as crazy as they all said to think he was hearing those things, to think the torso he was straddling was moving beneath him.
He didn’t open them until cool, tentative fingers touched Andrew’s, still tangled in his hair. When he did, he saw a pair of worried blue eyes gazing into his.
“Andrew, you’re hurt.”
I’m hurt? “You’re dead.”
“No I’m not.” He shifted back, giving Andrew space, but Andrew grabbed his wrist to stop him, needed to feel the warmth radiating off his skin, the feel of his pulse beating beneath Andrew’s fingers.
“You were, I was there. You died because you wouldn’t get back to the fucking meadow like I told you.”
“Because you wouldn’t leave like I told you.” He fixed Andrew with a look before his gaze shifted to Riko’s body. “Is he dead?” Andrew nodded. “I can’t believe it was that easy. That he could just…” He let the tips of his fingers graze the space over Andrew’s heart, where his knife now resided in Riko.
“It wasn’t easy.”
Neil looked back at him then and looked, really looked. Andrew didn’t know what he saw. He knew he was beat to shit but he doubted that’s what drew Neil’s eye. He knew he was on the fraying edge, not beyond the walls he’d built for himself but balancing on top of them and ready to fall. But Neil didn’t push, didn’t try to get more from Andrew. He would let Andrew climb back down and retreat into his guarded keep. Safe in the knowledge that Neil would be there too.
“We should go find the others. Get someone to look at your head, it’s bleeding.”
Andrew wordlessly stood, taking Neil by the arm and pulling him up whether he needed it or not. He wasn’t ready to let go yet, ready to understand what was happening. They walked towards the edge of the forest where the sound of the other hunters talking could be heard. Light from the harvest moon was filtering down between the leaves, the clouds breaking.
Neil came to a stop a few yards from the edge, looking to Andrew. “Was it killing him? That broke the curse?”
This was dangerous territory they were walking into, and Andrew didn’t know how much he was willing to give away. But something inside said he could give one more inch, one more slight step forward.
“No.”
“Then what?” Neil cocked his head to the side and Andrew ran a forefinger against the pulse at his wrist again. Slow, steady, relaxed, comfortable. Safe.
“I just said that I hated you.”
And with that he turned his face from Neil and lead them out of the forest.