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Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a damsel who went deeply astray. She went on a trip to the moon and disguised herself as a native doe in the silvery beams of the forest, frolicking with the stags. She was so lost having fun with a certain handsome stag that the tourist spaceship left without her because she was not a princess, so nobody really gave a shit. Human again, stranded alone, she wept and cursed her own folly and foolishness at being the only human left on the moon.. When she felt a tap on her shoulder and froze.
Once upon the same time, there was a pirate captain called Padfoot, he was the bravest and coolest pirate in the world. He was bored of sailing around on Earth though, so he took his crew and went to the moon to be a moon pirate. They sailed for a few years, plundering moon towns and eating moon animals over the years. One day, Captain Padfoot decided he was bored and would find himself a damsel. He walked through the forests for days, claiming a moon wolf as his companion until he came across a strange woman in the forest. He walked up to her and tapped her shoulder.
She gave a blood curdling scream and he almost boxed her in the ears, but at the last moment he remembered his mannered, scarce as they were, not to hit a lady and instead asked her to calm down. She stopped at once, and eyed him up and down, noting his appearance. "You look like a gentleman, but you're dressed like a rascal. Who are you?" she asked, taking a step back warily.
"Who are you calling a gentleman?!" he cried, presenting her with a moon tulip he'd found. "I'm the biggest rapscallion on the moon and I am in search of a damsel!" the sky turned pink and moon rabbits could be heard around them. Captain Padfoot was awestruck as he stared at the lady's face. "fair maiden, tell me your name so that I may know how to serenade you!"
Her lips curled into a smile. "Real rapscallions don't have to point out that they're rapscallions", she couldn't help but point out, taking the moon tulip and kissing him on the cheek for a thank you. She glanced up in surprise at the suddenly pink sky and back at him with widened green eyes. Was it a sign of merely intemperate weather or something more? "My name is Lily. Serenade away, my saviour, but make it good!"
He gasped dramatically, grasping her hand and holding it to his chest as the trees started to sparkle, "my queen, you dare imply that I am not a rapscallion?! I am however" he bowed deeply, "your handsome scallywag! Now.. About that serenade" he cleared his throat and flashed the damsel a wicked grin..
"Lily,
Lily Lily,
Bo Bily,
Fee fi fo Fily,
Lily"
"I do dare! In fact, I would go so far as to suggest you, my good sir, might even have a heart of gold!" She flushed a slight pink at the feel of his warm chest through the fabric beneath her hand, and did not challenge his own assertion of his handsomeness, "that was wonderful. The trees seem to have liked it too", she said, noting the sparkling trees had leant in. "What's your name, you rogue? And your faithful companion's?" she enquired, reaching down to pet the moon wolf's head.
He swooped into a bow, "my name is Captain Padfoot and I have no heart of gold, rather of sea foam! I grow weary of the sea, however" he smiled at Lady Lily, completely besotted by her charming wit and angelic features. "And his name is Elvendork, fair creature!" He spared a glance at the sparkling trees and grinned, they appeared as if drenched in stars. He whisked Lady Lily away and she married him, and they spent their days sailing the moon days as the fairest, and most fearsome, pirate couple with their moon wolf.