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"Oy! You, the fat slob drowning his misery in glaze and powdered sugar!" he shouted through the bars of the holding cell at the officer on duty. "Why don't you bring your ugly face over here and start taking down some of the actual facts of the case, eh? That pimple-faced biker bloke attacked me without provocation! Everything I did afterwards were merely self defense!" Wally's scowl was etched deep on his face, which was still faintly flushed from the bar crawl he and his friends had been in the middle of before everything went down.
The officer merely flipped to the next page of his magazine.
"I'm sure, Mr… Wallabee Beetles was it?" he replied, uninterested in the young man's blustering. "If it's all the same to you though, I'll just stay right here."
Wally's teeth gnashed and he clenched the bars with white knuckles. "The name is Wally and if you're not gonna help me at least let me out of this playpen so I can bash your face in, you useless government-paid lackey!"
"That is precisely what got you into this mess, Mr. Beetles." The officer flipped over another page. "But by all means, go ahead. I'm sure 'assaulting an officer of the law' will look wonderful on your rap sheet."
Wally grumbled, letting go of the bars and pacing anxiously inside the cell. What a waste of a perfectly good weekend.
He was so busy wearing a hole in the floor he almost didn't notice the next holding cell opening up. He peered across the way as an officer stepped aside for a pretty young Japanese lady.
He stared.
The girl was bouncing into the cell. Skipping. Humming to herself.
What in the world?
"I've called your parents, Kuki. They should be by to pick you up soon," said the officer.
"Okay!" she chirruped.
The door was closed and she flounced over to the metal bench. Whereupon she proceeded to sit swinging her legs. Wally gaped in an open-mouthed stupor.
When she caught his gawking, she sent him a brilliant smile.
"Nice weather we're having today, isn't it?"
Drunk or high. Gotta be, Wally thought.
He shuffled on his feet awkwardly. "So uh… what are you in for?" he asked, trying to make small talk.
"Loitering!" she gushed.
A beat.
"…You're kidding, right?"
Kuki shook her head, smile firmly in place. "Nope! The officer was like, 'Move along.' and I was like, 'Uh-uh.' and he was like 'Seriously?' and I was like 'Yep!'." She gestured around at the holding cell. "So here I am!"
Wally rubbed the side of his neck. He had no idea how to respond to that.
"What are you in for?" Kuki pried, pillowing her chin in her hands and her elbows on her thighs.
"Heh. It's actually kind of a funny story…"
-KND-
"And then I cracked the beer glass over his head! He had me on the ropes for a minute or two with that three-pronged wet willie attack but I suckered him one good across the jaw with my fist. I had him in a headlock and was just about to make him cry uncle when the coppers showed up and ruined everything."
"Aww, that's too bad," Kuki sympathized. She was now lying across the bench, head still pillowed and arms kicked up like a teenage girl at a sleepover. "What happened to the rabid squirrel?"
"Lost sight of it in the scuffle. Could swear the darn little bugger took a nip at me once or twice." Wally pushed the hair out of his face. "Anyway, once they find the bouncer's missing three teeth, I should be out of this joint in no time," he shrugged.
The echoing sound of the hallway door interrupted their conversation. The officer from before came over to Kuki's holding cell, keys jangling as he opened up the door.
"Your parents are here, Miss. You're free to go."
Kuki bounced up, cheerful as ever, waving to Wally on her way out.
"Bye Wally! I hope they find the bouncer's teeth!"
He made a little wave back, crossing his arms. "Nice meeting you, sheila." He shook his head. "Even if you were a little more obsessed about the squirrel than can remotely be normal," he added in a mutter.