Chapter Text
“WHAT THE HELL?!”
Lila jumped back from her desk, as she looked at the green… thing that had appeared from her earring. The thing was looking everywhere, and their eyes seemed to move independently, which only freaked Lila even more.
“Finally! After a thousand years I’m free again!” The thing proclaimed happily. Then it turned to Lila. “Took you long enough, Lila”
“How… how do you know my name?” asked Lila, clearly afraid.
“Oh right.” The thing focused both eyes on Lila. And honestly, she didn’t know if this freaked her more or less than that thing having their focus elsewhere on her room. “You know what a Miraculous is, don’t you?”
Lila nodded, a slight fury replacing the fear on her face. “Yes, it’s how that Ladybrat and that Mangy Cat get their powers”
The thing rolled their eyes, which grossed Lila out. “Yeah, that. Well, turns out your family heirloom was also a Miraculous” said the thing, pointing to the earring she was polishing before. “Some family heirloom that turned out to be, huh?”
“What” Lila made a run for her earring, picking it up and examining it again. “How?” she asked. “Why now? I have worn this practically all my life! And who the hell… WHAT the hell are you?”
“Let me begin from the start. Hello Lila Rossi, my name is Glamm, I’m the Kwami of Perception, the Kwami of the Chameleon Miraculous, which now you have in your hands”
“Chameleon?” Lila at least now knew why the thing was so weird. “Wait, Miraculous? I have a Miraculous?” she was finally processing the words of Glamm.
“Yeah, it seems that paste you stole from that girl with pigtails fixed my Miraculous”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t steal this from Marinette! She offered it to me!”
Lila quickly remembered how she had acquired that paste. Marinette was cleaning those horrible earrings she was always wearing with it during recess, and thanks to her crafty manipulations of the rest of the class, she had made her give it to her.
Glamm rolled their eyes again. “I have been alongside my miraculous for a long time Lila Dolores Rossi. I have seen every lie, omission and manipulation you have dished out. The fact that my Miraculous was broken was the only reason why your pathetic lies were believed in the first place”
“What?” Now Lila was furious. She was a Master Manipulator! She had been doing this her whole life she… had been wearing the Miraculous this whole time too… “What do you mean?” she asked more calmly.
“Kwamis are the Anthropomorphic Personification of an abstract concept. In my case, I’m Perception, how you see and how other people see you. Normally, my Miraculous allow the user to shape shift into other people, and even copy their powers if they have some”
Lila’s mind started going a mile a minute about how she could use this to discredit Ladybug.
“BUT! Ever since my Miraculous was broken, my connection to the physical world was broken too, and I was unable to interact with anything. But my power still seeped out of the Miraculous, although in a more passive way.”
Lila blinked in confusion. “What do you mean, exactly?” she narrowed her eyes, imagining where this conversation was going, but hoping she was wrong.
“My power allowed you to be perceived as you wanted. Why do you thing all people believed your frankly ridiculous claims without even checking?”
“I’m… I’m very good at lying”
Glamm raised an inexistent eyebrow. “Really? The journalist wannabe doesn’t check with Ladybug, who she encounters every other day? The napkin to the eye is believed by a child who was able to create artificial intelligence? Your teachers believe your many many disabilities without a doctor’s note? Your own mom believes your school is closed without checking for herself?”
Lila let herself fall on her seat. “But… they always believe me… it was because of you?”
Glamm nodded. “Yes, I had no choice in that.”
Lila looked at the earring in her hands and felt a myriad of things about it. Anger, regret, disillusion… If an akuma wasn’t currently attacking the city (Either that giant baby or the pigeon guy, she hadn’t pay attention to the Akuma Alert, other that it was a repeat akuma) she was sure she would have attracted an akuma by now.
“You have a choice now, though. I know you, you probably think that you can use my power to make trouble to Ladybug, don’t you?”
Lila opened her mouth to argue, but knew this thing already knew the truth. “And what if I do, Pascal?”
“Pas… Oh I get it, very funny, ha ha.” Glamm replied sarcastically. Their eyes focused on Lila again. She recoiled. “Naturally, you can do whatever you want, and I will assist you, but you are smart. You should understand what will happen now that my Miraculous has been repaired.” He waited a few seconds, until saw Lila change expressions. “Your silly lies won’t be believed as easily. Your previous lies will not be believed as easily.”
Lila grabbed the earring and tried to break it with her bare hands. Glamm rolled their eyes again. This girl really had a thick skull.
“Only a Cataclysm can break a Miraculous… which is how it happened last time, by the way, thanks for asking.”
Lila glared at Glamm. “So what do you suggest?”
“Well, like I said, you have options, and you probably won’t like any of them” Lila glared at him, but just sighed. “Well for starters, you could give me to Ladybug”
“HELL NO” she said, putting the earring back on her ear. “No fucking way I’m doing that”
“I’m just listing your options, you dolt. Option number two, you keep your life as is, and become better at lying”
“I like that one”
“Of course you’ve had my power basically all your life; so again, your lying abilities are basically the same than when you were five years old. People will catch up really quickly, and you will be humiliated, isolated and probably sued by all those people you have lied to and about to.”
Lila gulped. If Glamm was right and all her “expertise” was actually their power all along, she was very much screwed.
“Another option, of course, is what you already planned. Use my power and transform into Ladybug”
“Yeah! She will be hated by everyone and…”
“And she and Chat Noir will eventually caught you and take me, and since this is no akumatization, you will be again: humiliated, isolated, sued and probably end up in jail”
“Yeah, like they would catch me, look at their track record!”
“They always catch the akuma. The only reason Hawk Moth is still at large is because he sends akumas instead of going himself.”
Lila glared at Glamm again, but knew they were right.
“So basically, I’m screwed either way I go. I always thought getting a Miraculous would be better than this” She sunk in her chair, holding her legs.
“I’m not finished.” Glamm flied to Lila’s range of vision. “There is another thing you can try… like I say, you probably won’t like it, but…”
Lila perked up. What she didn’t understood is that while she merely thought she was a good manipulator, Glamm was the real deal, and while all they were saying was the truth, they were also playing Lila like the cheap kazoo that she was.
“There is another way to crew with Ladybug… and that Cat too, if you want”
“Really?”
“Really. Remember when you were Volpina the first time?”
Lila nodded. She had always thought that everyone was lying when they said they didn’t remember the things they did when they were akumatized, as she remembered her time as Volpina (Both times) and as Chameleon. Now she realized that it was probably because of her own Miraculous that she had her memories of those times.
“Well, you can become a hero again. A real one this time. We can help take Hawk Moth down… and easily upstage Ladybug as Paris best hero”
“We’ll have to help her?”
“Yes. And keep a secret identity too”
“Pfft, work without credit? No thank you”
“Should I remind you that Chloe is Queen Bee and still no one likes her?”
Lila looked at the kwami. One of their eyes was wandering again. Lila will take some time getting used to that quirk. And to the fact that they were right… again.
“If you really want to screw with Ladybug and everyone else, we have to play the long game. You can’t claim to be ‘Paris Greatest Hero’ on your first outing, or ‘The only hero that Paris needs’ or any of those silly things you said as Volpina.”
“That’s boring”
“But effective. Do you want to be recognized by Ladybug immediately? I mean, it’s the same for me if she takes my Miraculous, but you might have other plans…”
“But what about my normal life then? Without your powers…”
“Without my powers you might want to lay low for a while. You’ll have to fight against the urge to claim outrageous things, or to make that pigtailed girl miserable. You’ll have to play nice, for real, and try to tell the truth. Your old tricks won’t work anymore.”
Lila contemplated her new life. She wasn’t opposed to be a hero, really, having the adoration of the public would be rather nice. After all, Chat Noir was admired and respected despite Ladybug doing most of the work anyway. She would need to think on a good super hero name. A shame she couldn’t be “Volpina”.
“We could go now, you know?”
“And make my debut be against a giant baby? No thank you. Magnifique Caméléonne will have a debut worth of the gods”
“… Magnificent Chameleon? What did I just tell you? Caméléonne will suffice”
“… dammit”