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"We should be almost there, it's just around the corner", Yaz said as she was turning the steering wheel, driving into a residential street. In the corner of her eye, she could see Sara clenching and unclenching the material of her jeans.
"Honey?"
"Hm?"
Parking the car in front of a small house with a lovely dark blue door, Yaz turned to face her girlfriend.
"Sara, what's going on?"
"Oh, well", Sara started, looking up at Yaz without lifting her head. "I'm just a bit nervous because, you know."
Yaz frowned, waiting for the other woman to continue. When it was clear she wouldn't, Yaz turned towards her with a sigh.
"I'm afraid you're going to have to give me a little more than that."
At this point, Sara switched to nervously pulling at the sleeves of her sweater. It was red with a reindeer on it, a gift from Yaz after she had seen the blonde longingly staring at it through a shop window a couple of weeks ago.
"So, I've never met one."
Yaz's frown deepened. "You've never met one of what?"
When Sara finally replied, it came out as barely more than a whisper. "A small human."
"A small -"
When it finally dawned on Yaz what the woman next to her meant, she couldn't help but let a small laugh escape her.
"Oi!" Sara immediately called out, head shooting up. "Don't laugh!"
"Sweetie", Yaz said, leaning over to place a hand on Sara's arm. "It's okay. It's all going to be fine, I promise. Let's just go inside, alright?"
Sara nodded, looking only marginally convinced.
A minute later, the blue door swung open as they stood in front of it, revealing a cheery ginger woman and a very exhausted looking man behind her.
"Yaz! Sara! It is so good to see other grown-ups."
The man behind her only sighed a barely audible "thanks".
Amy and Rory had been the first of Yaz's friends that Sara had met. After a while, they had even shared the secret of Sariel's story with them, and both, although surprised and a bit doubtful at the beginning, had come to accept it as the truth.
"Come in!" Amy called out, stepping to the side in order to usher them inside.
"Hi guys", Rory mumbled as they passed him. "Sorry, not a lot of sleep at the moment."
"Right, where is the newest Pond?" Yaz asked, smiling as she looked around the living room.
Amy cocked her head towards a pram in the corner of the room, putting her index finger to her lips.
"She finally fell asleep", she whispered. "We should probably go sit in the kitchen, you can meet her later."
Nodding, the two women and Rory followed Amy away, not before Sara craned her neck in order to get a look at the baby.
"She's so tiny", she whispered into Yaz's ear as they sat down at the kitchen table.
"She gets bigger every day", Amy said as she sat down two cups of tea in front of them, and Sara blushed, not having realised that the woman had heard her.
"You guys must be completely exhausted at the moment", Yaz said, taking a sip of her tea while placing her free hand on Sara's thigh, a move she always knew to calm her girlfriend down. She smiled as she felt Sara's tense muscles slowly relax underneath her palm.
"Is there a stronger word than exhausted?” Rory asked, holding his mug in both hands while leaning against the kitchen counter. “Although Amy definitely bears the brunt of it, with nursing and everything.”
“Oh stop it, you are doing a great job as well”, Amy called out, closing the fridge to put the milk back in. “Besides”, she continued as she turned to look at Rory. “She’s definitely worth every minute of lost sleep.”
“Yeah she is.”
The two of them exchanged a smile, tired yet full of a deep-seated happiness, and Yaz looked over at Sara to find her eyes glowing as she watched their friends interact with each other.
“Oh hey”, Amy suddenly said as she turned to Yaz. “I wanted to show you something! Come with.”
Briefly throwing Sara a glance, who nodded, Yaz got up from the kitchen table and followed Amy outside into the living room and up the stairs.
“So”, Rory said, sitting down opposite of Sara. “How are you doing? I heard you had a rough time again last week.”
Blushing, Sara busied herself with taking a sip of her tea. She had given Yaz permission to talk to Amy about her trouble with losing her wings, feeling it important that Yaz should not have to bear the weight of it on her own. However, she had not realised until now that that would obviously entail Rory knowing about it as well.
“I’m sorry”, Rory said, apparently having felt Sara’s discomfort. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
He looked so genuinely guilty and worried that Sara found herself shaking her head. “No Rory, it’s alright.” Taking another sip of her tea, she continued. “Last week was tough again, yeah. But Yaz...” She stopped, smiling into her mug. “Yaz is amazing. I don’t know what I would do without her. You know, I think I can imagine how you feel about Melody.” Sara paused, and looked up to find a silent question in Rory’s eyes. “You said that she’s worth every lost minute of sleep? Yaz is worth every lost feather.”
“Sara”, Rory said softly, a kind smile painted across his features. “I am really glad you two have found each other.”
Sara opened her mouth to agree, when a sudden noise from the living room interrupted them.
“Ah”, Rory said, pushing himself out of his chair. “I think somebody is awake.”
He motioned for Sara to follow him, and she felt her initial nerves about meeting Melody surge once again. As they walked into the living room, the little girl was stirring in her crib, happily chortling while her hands reached out, grasping at thin air.
“Is she alright?” Sara asked quietly, trying to lean over the crib yet keeping a safe distance.
“Yeah she is”, Rory chuckled. “She just wants to be held. You want to give it a try?”
He must have seen the sheer terror that Sara felt at his question, because he took one look at her face and broke out into a deep belly laughter.
Blushing, Sara looked down at her feet. “I’ve never held a tiny human before”, she mumbled.
“Hang on a sec”, Rory replied, moving towards the crib to gently scoop Melody up, who gave another delighted chortle at suddenly being lifted. Turning towards Sara, he smiled. “She’s not going to break”, he said. “Just make sure you support her head, she can’t do that on her own yet.”
“She can’t? That doesn't seem well thought out.”
Frowning, Rory looked down at his daughter. “Yeah, probably not evolution’s greatest moment.”
“The things I wish I would have asked about when I had the chance.”
Startled, Rory looked up at her. “You know, sometimes I forget that you literally…”, he stopped himself, gulping.“Yeah”, Sara said, awkwardly scratching the back of her head.
“Anyway!” he exclaimed, holding out Melody towards Sara once more. “Baby?”
“Alright”, Sara said again. “If you’re sure I won’t hurt her?”
“I’m sure”, Rory said, smiling once again.
He guided Melody carefully into her arms, making sure to let go of her head last, leaving his hand underneath to support it until he was sure that it was safely resting in the crook of Sara’s elbow.
The little human in her arms was the tiniest and most beautiful thing Sara had ever seen. Something nudged at the back of her heart as the girl stirred in her arms, looking up at her through curious eyes.
“Hi”, Sara breathed, and when her reply came in the form of a chortle, cheeky hands trying to grab hold of her blouse, Sara realised that she was trying to hold back tears.
The next moment, Melody’s expression changed into a frown, and before Sara knew what was happening, the baby was crying, her whole face turning red.
“Oh father”, Sara said, panic rising in her chest.
“I’m right here”, Rory smiled, but then saw the confusion in Sara’s eyes. “Ah”, he mumbled. “That father. Gotcha.”
“What did I do wrong?” Sara asked.
She looked at Rory, eyes pleading for help, but the young man seemed calm. Too calm, in Sara’s opinion, for the fact that his little human was crying and screaming.
“It’s okay”, he said, smiling. “Just walk around with her a little bit, talk to her. She just needs to get used to you.”
“Oh.”
Carefully, Sara started to walk up and down in the living room, clutching Melody in her arms so nothing could happen to her. She racked her brain to find something she could talk about, but she had only just met the small girl and had no idea what her interests were. Finally, she settled on the one thing she knew usually calmed humans down, at least the big ones.
“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.”
She made sure her voice was soft and quiet, not wanting to hurt Melody’s ears, and held her securely against her chest, hoping the vibrations running through it would feel nice to her.
“And everything you do. Yeah they were all yellow.”
As quickly as Melody’s mood had changed before, it now morphed into an expression of silent wonder. She became quiet, her face regaining her usual colour, while her eyes turned droopy.
A moment later, the little girl was fast asleep once again.
“Wow”, Rory breathed. “Can we hire you?”
As Sara looked up, she saw that Yaz and Amy had appeared, standing on the living room threshold. Both women were smiling, and Yaz’s eyes were filled with something Sara couldn’t quite place.
Then, something clicked at the back of the former angel’s mind, and she felt a smile spread over her own face.
“Right”, Yaz finally said, as quietly as she could while Sara handed Melody over to Rory, who carefully put her down in her crib once more. “We should get going and let at least one of you guys have a chance to nap. God knows you need it.”
They said their goodbyes on the porch, Sara having to promise Amy she would “bring over her miracle voice” whenever they were losing too much sleep. Yaz was surprised when Sara immediately agreed, eyes brimming with joy.
No more fear of tiny humans I guess, Yaz thought, and felt herself smile again.
They got in the car, driving in comfortable silence, until Sara turned towards Yaz with a curious look in her eyes.
“Yaz”, she said.
“Hm?”
“Can we make a tiny human?”
Yaz almost missed the light in front of them turn red, braking violently and causing a cacophony of car horns behind her. She silently thanked her quick reaction skills, then turned to Sara.
“What?”
“Oh”, Sara said, quickly turning away. “We don’t have to. I just. The way you looked at me before, when I held Melody? I thought that’s what that meant you wanted.”
Yaz frowned, letting the thought of a baby in their lives sink in. She couldn’t deny that the idea tugged at her heart, causing a new kind of warmth to spread through her chest.
“Is it what you want?”, she finally asked.
Sara considered the question for a moment, then smiled. “Yeah. Yeah I think it is.”
“Well then”, Yaz replied. “We can talk about it.”
As the light in front of them turned green, Yaz stepped on the gas, and they were silent once again. Yaz was going through the logistics of it all in her head, her ever so rational mind going right towards making calculations, mentally going through their savings and putting money aside to see if it could all work out.
She was still completely lost in her thoughts as they arrived in front of their flat and she started parking the car, when suddenly Sara’s whole face lit up, eyes gleaming as she turned towards Yaz once more.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, excitement written all over her face. “I’m sure father could help with getting you pregnant. I mean, he’s done it before.”
This time, judging by the screeching noise and the way the lamppost swayed in her rearview mirror, Yaz hadn’t been fast enough.