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This had been… a night . Most nights were “a night” for Tyzias to be perfectly honest, but after having to spend hours at the bookhive with that weasel going over their latest project with a fast-approaching due date while having spent the previous night deconstructing a rare volume of law written by a contemporary of the Summoner… Tyzias was looking forward to time alone to decompress.
But things could never be that simple.
There was a figure sitting outside her hive, and even as she got closer, Tyzias couldn’t make out who it was. They were wearing a hoodie, the hood shielding their face and horns, and no splash of color detectable to signify a caste. They stood as she approached, but didn’t say anything, and Tyzias saw they had a scarf wrapped around their face as well. “Which one of their friends are you?” Tyzias asked as she pulled out her keys. The figure cocked their head. “The alien. I assume that’s why you’re here?” The figure didn’t do anything in response, but went inside when Tyzias opened the door and gestured them in.
Once Tyzias locked the door behind them and flipped on some lights, the figure removed their hood and scarf, revealing a girl with barbed horns, one with a chunk missing. Tyzias searched her memory from the group chat the alien had put together. “Goezee, right? Polypa?” She nodded and flopped herself down on Tyzias’s couch. Tyzias didn’t bat an eye. They had DM’d occasionally after meeting in the group chat, not enough to warrant a surprise visit, but enough to give her some ideas of why one might be necessary. She chose to feign ignorance, though. “Is there something I can help you with?”
Polypa shrugged. “Need a place to lie low. The alien says you’re cool and you seemed fine enough in chat. Figured it was worth a shot.”
“I’m cool,” Tyzias deadpanned, unconvinced.
“I mean that you won’t rat me out. I don’t give a shit about your Sufferer complex.”
“Great. Nice to be the resident doormat.” Tyzias sighed. It’s what she suspected. “Well. Make yourself at home, I guess?”
Polypa grunted, having already whipped out her palmhusk and started swiping through it with fervor.
Tyzias went to the kitchen and opened the freezer. She pulled out one pre-packaged grubloaf, then thought for a moment, and pulled out a second. A few minutes later she set a plate and a cup of water on the coffee table in front of Polypa, then came out with her own and sat next to her.
They began eating in silence.
“Why me?” Tyzias asked.
Polypa swallowed a bite. “I told you. I heard you were cool.”
“And I heard you had a different teal you went to when you needed.”
Polypa took a few more bites of food. “Ah yes, because you trust your castemates with everything.”
Tyzias frowned. “You know that’s different.”
Polypa half glared at Tyzias out the side her eyes. “Is it?”
“You’re deflecting.”
Polypa rolled her eyes. “It’s not that deep.”
“I’m having a hard time believing you didn’t have any safe house available to you that didn’t have another troll involved with it. You want to be around someone for a reason.”
Polypa slammed her plate on the table, the fork clattering loudly against the ceramic, then stood up. “I didn’t come here to be psycho-analyzed.” She flipped her hoodie over her head. “This was a mistake.”
Tyzias didn’t stand up, just looked at Polypa, gaze even. “ Then why are you here? ”
They stared each other down for a few moments, then Tyzias reached up and grabbed Polypa’s hand. She hesitated for a moment, then began to rub soothing circles into it with her thumb. “Something happen on a job?” her voice was still tired, but less harsh.
Polypa’s eyes darted to her hand for a split second, then trained back on Tyzias. “Maybe.”
“Did it go wrong?”
“No.” Polypa sat down, a little wary, but took care not to let her hand pull too far away from Tyzias, and removed her hood with her unoccupied hand. “Maybe.”
“Were you seen?”
“No.”
Tyzias paused, her circles stopped and turned into intermittent tapping.
The circles started again.
“Did you hurt someone you didn’t mean to?”
Polypa gently removed her hand and put it in her lap with the other, clenching them together. “Yes.”
Tyzias waits.
“She was supposed to be alone,” Polypa finally said. “I checked ! She was alone! I must have… I must have missed someone coming in the door. Stupid. Should be dead. Should be caught.” She stared at her hands. Clenching and unclenching. She took a breath and her words came out in a detached monotone like she was reciting a grocery list. “Knife to the base of the spine then twist. Simple enough for a midblood. But my aim was off. She was shorter than she should be. I was covered in blue. A second knife thrown when my actual target walked in, eyes widened in shock giving me a perfect bullseye.”
Tyzias grimaced.
Polypa pulled at the knees of her pants. “I…” She spared a glance at Tyzias who wouldn’t have caught it if her eyes weren’t carefully trained on Polypa’s face. “I didn’t finish her off. The indigo blood. I left her there.” She shook her head and muttered, “Sloppy.” Hands clenched and unclenched. “I left her there.”
Tyzias wasn’t sure what comfort she needed. She took a gamble. “Indigos are hardy.”
Is it possible to look simultaneously relieved and more on edge? Polypa just grunted in response.
Tyzias raised her hand, hesitated for the briefest of seconds, then papped Polypa’s cheek. Polypa leaned into it, still not looking up from her hands.
“Highbloods are worthless. They’re all worthless. They all deserve this. I don’t care about any of them .” Her voice, muffled as it was, her mouth half pressed into Tyzias’s palm, was even and low and lacked the bite her words implied.
Tyzias could easily go into a lecture about Alternia and the damage it causes both physically and mentally. How the cycle of pain works. How it benefits the Condesce. A call to work against it, to stop the cycle. But she didn't. It’s not what Polypa needed to hear, so Tyzias set it aside and hoped one day she’ll be ready and instead moved closer and pulled her into her chest, arranging it so one hand can still pap.
Polypa stiffened for the briefest of moments, then melted into Tyzias, wrapping her arms around her middle and clutching Tyzias’s hoodie until her knuckles turned white. She didn’t cry, she just breathed, deep and shaky, then steady, then shaky, until it finally evened out. Tyzias traded papping for rubbing shoulders and arms and stroking hair.
Polypa’s grip loosened.
She straightened and leaned against the couch, hands now fiddling with Tyzias’s sleeves.
Tyzias watched.
Tyzias did not look up as she inhaled and asked, “Why me?”
Polypa snorted. “I can’t believe the alien said you’re the smartest person they know.” She reached up, grabbed Tyzias’s hoodie, and tugged her forward, olive and puffy but dry eyes meeting tired teal, and kissed her.
Tyzias was shocked. More than shocked. Sure, she had been basically filling in as a moirail this whole time but a little casual pale jams weren’t unheard of . But kissing was not casual. Kissing was--
Polypa nipped Tyzias’s bottom lip. “Get out of your head, Tyz, you’re missing the fun part of this whole shitshow.”
Tyzias wrapped her arms around Polypa and pulled her closer. Kissing was good . She knew kissing was good--Stelsa was exceptional at it--but kissing after the emotional rawness they had just experienced? Kissing was never like this.
Tyzias pushed Polypa back until she was on top of her on the couch, Polypa’s head angled oddly against its arm. She kept the position for a few moments, but quickly groaned in disappointment before pushing Tyzias back and asking, “You got a pile to move this to?”
Tyzias pushed herself the rest of the way off of Polypa and stretched, cracking her back, Polypa ghosting her fingers along the exposed skin between her shirt and pants when she did so. Tyzias jumped and lightly slapped her hand away. “If you can hold your hoofbeasts long enough to get there.”
Polypa grinned and tugged Tyzias back down. But Tyzias dodged Polypa’s awaiting lips and buried her head in the crook of Polypa’s neck. She was breathing in her own hot breath and it should have felt suffocating, but combined with Polypa practically crushing her against herself, she just felt secure. Enveloped. Safe. She idly wondered if this was some latent trick of biology to make grubs feel better in their cocoons, but the why didn’t really matter.
Polypa must have moved to a better position before pulling Tyzias back down, because she made no move to readjust or push Tyzias back off as Tyzias settled fully into her, breathing in the scent of blood and sweat and… fresh? Like outside but not the air she was used to. She turned her head slightly and gently kissed alongside Polypa’s neck while Polypa played with her hair for what could have been minutes or hours or sweeps until they drifted off to sleep, entangled in each other, letting the day wash away the raw emotions of the night.