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Kanda Yuu is a morning person. He’s trying not to be, keyword being trying. Allen Walker is not a morning person. And he’s not trying to be.
Which most times ends with Kanda getting out of bed and an unintelligible grumbling from Allen’s side, sometimes with both of them on the floor (“Let go or I’m dragging you out” “Try it asshole, I’m bringing you down with me”) and every now and then, with Allen cuddled in Kanda’s arms while the latter convinces himself that yeah, they can stay like that for another 5 minutes (even though it’s never just 5 minutes).
Kanda wakes up to a familiar weight over his hip and something tickling his nose and he has a vague sense this will be a “five minutes more” morning. He blinks a few times, adjusting to the morning light and looks down to find a very comfortably sleeping Allen, head tucked against Kanda’s neck and left leg thrown over his hip.
Kanda can’t feel his whole left arm and he’s feeling a bit too hot under the twisted blankets but he wouldn’t change a morning like this for anything else. He lets out a soft sigh and very slowly, so as not to wake up Allen, detangles his free hand from the blankets to brush away the white strands of hair from his face while running his fingers from top to bottom.
The strong affection he feels washes over him like a wave, making him feel warm and maybe just a bit dizzy. It’s a feeling he’s still getting used to, as well as this new routine out of the Order, out of everything they were trained for, and while it’s a slow process, they’ve been working together. And even though it’s been a difficult change, Kanda’s starting to appreciate it. Allen being there with him only making everything smoother and better.
And while Lena and Lavi are traveling around the world together, getting to know all those places they’ve been to but never truly appreciated, and Miranda and Marie have settled to form a family, Kanda and Allen decided to settle for a peaceful and slow life. After all, the Noah were gone, there was no war to fight anymore, and they were not needed out there.
He feels more than listens Allen mumble something against his throat and he can’t help the little smile on his face as the smaller man cuddles even closer. He runs his fingers a few times through the silvery white strands of hair a few more times before gently moving lower, skimming his fingers over pale shoulders oh so slowly and ending with a soft caress over that even paler thigh resting over his hip.
He repeats the motion, every time slower than the previous one, gently running his fingers over bare skin (which gives him a wide expanse of skin given Allen’s choice to sleep with nothing but a pair of shorts that shouldn’t even be called that; “Booty-shorts Bakanda~” “You’re a menace”). Allen’s skin is warm and mostly soft, except for the scars littered here and there all over his body.
Kanda has always found a weird fascination for said scars, given the lack of the same on his own skin. So he rests his hand completely over oh so pale skin and slides it down very slowly, very gently, taking in every raised little bump or slight dip where skin didn’t mend correctly, starting at Allen’s shoulder and arm, and going all the way down his back and ending on his thigh. And he repeats the process all over again from bottom to top.
He pays special attention to Allen’s left arm, the angry red having faded to a softer pinkish tone after 2 years of proper rest and care and even a bit of self love from Allen’s part, and while it did remain numb for a few months, Kanda can happily say that now Allen has almost forgotten it used to be a weapon (not that he says that out loud anyway). So he runs his fingers through the raised skin a few times, back and forth, all the way down to his fingers, before moving lower, closer to Allen’s hip where a very particular scar rests.
This one Kanda is horribly familiar with, so much so that he could map the edge of it exactly as it goes with his eyes closed. The scar on his torso, a bit to the left side of Allen’s bellybutton and almost reaching his hipbone, has faded to an even softer pink than that one of Allen’s arm, and while it’s still visible, it doesn’t make such a harsh contrast with his pale skin anymore.
Kanda loathes this scar.
And not because it’s a scar or because it’s on Allen’s body, he loves Allen as he is, with any and every single scar. No, Kanda hates that scar because he was the one to put it there, because he was the one that opened a possibility for Neah that shouldn’t be there. Allen’s always telling him to let it go, that it was not his fault because there was no such intention and because he never said anything either, because there’s no guilt for Kanda to carry. He has always been good at that, reading Kanda like a book even when Kanda himself doesn’t even say a word (“It’s in your eyes Kanda”) and Kanda has never been good with words like that so most times he simply kisses Allen to shut him up.
Kanda skims his fingers over the slightly raised/jagged skin, from where it starts a bit higher up from Allen’s bellybutton and all the way down to his hip. He tilts his head a bit to rest his cheek against Allen’s hair and, repeats the motion all over again, sometimes deviating from his path to find any other smaller scars scattered on Allen’s body.
Allen mumbles something in his sleep before he’s shifting, turning around and spreading over the other side of the bed so that he rests on his back, kicking the bed sheets away in the process. Allen’s breathing goes back to a constant rhythm in seconds and Kanda takes a moment and simply looks at him, letting the fondness he feels inside overflow him completely. Then, very carefully, moves closer because that’s a lot of exposed skin and Kanda’s not someone to let go of such an opportunity.
He places a knee on each side of Allen, just beside his waist so that he’s hovering over him, almost straddling him but not quite touching yet. He leans closer and places a soft kiss against Allen’s hair, then moves lower to his forehead and then his cheeks. Kanda’s long hair falls at his sides, framing his face and hiding them both from the sunlight pouring into the room if only a bit. He finishes with a kiss to Allen’s nose before moving to his neck, leaving a soft trail of wet kisses there and slowly moving to his jaw as Allen sighs and, still asleep, tilts his head to the side.
He mumbles Kanda’s name and Kanda can feel his heart quiver in his chest, so he goes lower. He moves to Allen’s collarbone next, running his lips from one side to the other, a barely-there touch against pale skin before placing a kiss right at the center, over the hollow in between. He then turns his attention to Allen’s right shoulder, where his second biggest scar starts.
Kanda places a kiss there, over jagged skin and very carefully slides down Allen’s body, closing his eyes and following the path of the scar with just his lips. He has memorized Allen’s body to the point that he can tell where most if not all of his scars start and finish. Has memorized every dip and rise on Allen’s body. And he never gets tired of rediscovering them.
His hair falls and slides over Allen’s body as he moves and he can hear Allen huff in his sleep, an unconscious kind-of-a-laugh. Kanda opens one eye to find Allen’s still asleep and closes it again to continue with his quest, smiling against Allen’s skin. He finishes with a soft nip to Allen’s right hipbone before following the path all over again on his way up. Then he starts all over again, this time though, finding any other smaller scars on Allen’s torso, marking them with a wet, soft kiss once he finds them before moving to continue his search.
Allen’s skin is warm and smells like the detergent they use on the bed sheets and Kanda can’t help but rest his head over his stomach, simply listening to Allen’s breathing along with the rise and fall of his chest. Kanda stays there for a few minutes before placing one last kiss just above Allen’s bellybutton, and straightening up to slide even lower.
He ran each hand down a very pale thigh in a soft caress, feeling the muscle twitch a bit at the touch and hearing Allen huff and murmur something before falling silent again. Kanda leaned down, very carefully placed each hand beneath Allen’s knees and very slowly lifted them up a bit before pressing an open mouthed kiss to the inside of each thigh.
Even here Allen holds scars, not as deep and pronounced, but still there. Kanda presses a kiss to each one of them, making sure not to miss any, then he closes his eyes and simply leaves random kisses here and there. He maps Allen’s thighs with his lips the same way he did with his torso, with a soft barely-there touch. He skims his fingers down the undersides, all the way down to his ankles and then back up.
Allen’s skin is so warm and Kanda could do this all day, he doesn’t open his eyes and keeps leaving open-mouthed kisses. He has no idea how long it’s been when he feels a hand patting his hair, and he’s so immersed in this sense of calm that it even startles him a bit. He opens one eye to look up at a very smiley Allen.
“Having fun down there?” He says, voice soft and a bit (ronca) from having just woken up. Kanda closes his eye again and bites gently on the inside of Allen’s left thigh.
“Mmm. Would prefer you asleep.” He listens Allen’s soft chuckle and feels the leg he’s leaning against to shake a bit before there’s a hand brushing his hair aside.
Kanda lets go of Allen’s right leg and brings his hand up to intertwine his fingers with Allen’s, leans a bit more on his left thigh. Allen’s free hand takes on where the other one left off, gently running his fingers through Kanda’s hair, or what he can reach, pulling softly on the strands now and then. They stay like that for what feels like hours but can’t be more than a few minutes. With Kanda running his thumb over Allen’s knuckles while his free hand traces random figures over Allen’s right thigh.
When Kanda opens his eyes again Allen’s looking down at him with the softest and most tender smile he’s seen, eyes bright and warm that won’t look away and Kanda feels his heart throb at the amount of affection he sees there. Feels a bit breathless and a lot dizzy with all the emotions coursing through him at once. Adoration, vulnerability, love. Love more than anything else.
“Hi there.” Allen’s says, voice barely a whisper. And Kanda feels himself falling all over again.
Because this is Allen Walker in his purest form. He’s all ruffled hair, sunlight making it seem to almost glow, pale skin and wide smile. This is an Allen that feels loved and safe, and that’s willing to give all the love back. And he has always been willing, Kanda knows that more than anyone else, how Allen would give all his love away without really expecting anything in return. Kanda knows how big of a heart Allen has and knows how easily he can share it with others, but right know Allen bares it open for Kanda and Kanda alone. It’s kind-of a funny feeling, like free falling of a high building.
And Kanda can’t remember for how long he’s been falling but he also doesn’t really care because he knows Allen will be there to catch him.
He wants to say so many things but the words won’t leave his mouth, he’s still working with that and Allen’s been nothing but patient with him and Kanda’s so grateful for that.
“Hey there.” He answers back, voice a bit hoarse and Allen’s smile grows even wider.
“Come up here.” He tugs softly on Kanda’s hair, signaling for him to climb back up.
Kanda leaves one last kiss to Allen’s thigh, then he starts to climb his way back up, although he doesn’t stop with the kisses. Just like he did on his way down, he paints a path of kisses on his way up, taking his time and simply enjoying Allen’s breathy chuckles every time he leaves one on a particularly ticklish spot.
He goes all the way up, Allen’s even stretches his neck to give him more space there, and ends with a kiss to the scar on Allen’s forehead over his left eye. The star, as the rest of the scar, has gone a softer shade of red like his arm and Kanda leaves his lips pressed there for a few seconds before he leans back to look at Allen.
“Done with that?” He says in a playful tone and Kanda huffs before flicking him on the forehead. Which only makes Allen laugh.
“You didn’t seem very interested on stopping me.” Kanda answers, tugging on a long strand of silvery white hair.
“Never said I didn’t like it.” Is all he listens before Kanda’s world tilts for a few seconds.
When his eyes adjust once again he realizes Allen’s the one straddling him now and he places his hands on Allen’s hips. Allen scoots closer before he’s cradling Kanda’s face in his hands and leaning in for a kiss that Kanda immediately reciprocates. It’s soft and slow and it takes both their breath away and morning breath be damned.
“Hope you’re feeling comfortable because now it’s my turn.” He says with bright eyes and grinning widely, dimples showing.
Kanda huffs and pinches Allen’s hip softly, to which Allen responds by sticking his tongue out. And Kanda takes a moment to simply take in everything around him.
He looks at their shared room, the sharp contrast between them even apparent in it with how messy Allen’s side is and how organized Kanda’s in comparison, and yet there’s a balance. He watches the sunlight pouring through the room, making everything softer and blurry around the edges. Specially Allen. Kanda pays special attention to the man above him.
He admires the way the sunlight makes him almost glow, specially his hair, and the way it makes his eyes shine brighter. Admires Allen’s body, the paleness of his skin and the sharp contrast of his scars, scars that make him who he is, who they are because those scars have built Kanda just as much as they have built Allen. He takes a moment to appreciate Allen’s weight above him, loves the way it feels almost as much as he loves the way Allen’s thighs brush against his sides.
He loves every single thing of this moment, but more than anything he loves the man staring down at him with a soft smile and with eyes full of love. And Kanda smiles back at him before he’s pulling Allen down with a hand at the back of neck to kiss him again. He feels Allen fighting to hold in his laughter and Kanda breaks apart only to bring his lips down to Allen’s neck, where he presses a line of open mouthed kisses all the way up to his jaw and ending just beneath his ear, all of this with Allen’s breathy laugh in the background.
“I’m not stopping you.” He whispers against Allen’s ear, wide smile on his face and warmth spreading throughout his body.
And if Allen makes true to his promise and they stay in bed for way longer than 5 minutes, if their breakfast becomes lunch, and if they break their routine of the day to stay cuddled on the couch watching the TV, well, Kanda wouldn’t want it any other way.