Work Text:
Logan is seen sitting at a desk late at night, a single lamp turned on next to him. There are several papers scattered across the desk along with a calculator, text books, and a cup of straight, black coffee. “Alright, if the derivative of this is that, then the second derivative should be…” he sighed and took a sip of his coffee, not realizing how much he shook doing so. “Dammit…”
Logan set his pen to his paper once more as a knock was heard on his door, startling him, his work now scratched off. He sighed once more as he stood, straightening his tie. Before another knock could be heard, the door swung open to reveal a concerned Patton.
“Heya, kiddo. You wouldn’t mind if I came in to check on ya, would you?”
Logan shrugged and looked at him, “I suppose it would be adequate. I was just working on my studies for the night, anyways.”
Patton tilted his head, noticing how fidgety Logan had become in this moment, as well as the deep bags under his eyes. “How… much sleep have you been getting lately?”
Logan was briefly taken aback before shaking his head. “I don’t see how that’s relevant. But I can assure you that I’m quite alright, if that’s what you are asking.” He reached for his cup of coffee once more, only to realize he was completely out. He cursed inwardly before sitting down at his desk once more, continuing his studies.
Patton took notice and pulled up a chair to sit next to Logan. “You’ve sure been studying for quite a while, kiddo… Maybe it’s time for you to take a break.”
“No!” Logan slammed his hands on his desk and tensed up as he noticed Patton flinching. He let out a deep breath. “I mean… I am fine. I do not need, nor do I want, a break. However… I thank you, for your concern, Patton.”
“Logan, please. You’re exhausted, sleep deprived, and you’re shaking a lot right now. You need water and sleep. Your physical well-being, as well as your mental health, are more important than stressing over your finals.”
“I don’t stress, Patton. Why would I even stress over something as facile as a few finals? It’s absolutely asinine.” He shook his head at the idea and began working again, looking away from Patton.
He sighed at the response and the look of concern grew on his face. “If these finals are as easy as you say they are, then why have you lost sleep over them, studying in every single moment you’ve been home-”
“I haven’t been losing sleep-”
“You’re sleep deprived and have baggy eyes, not to mention you’re fidgeting because you’ve been drinking too much coffee to stay awake. And the fact you looked defeated when you noticed you were out of coffee.” Logan grew silent, and Patton sighted. “If the finals are so simple, then you wouldn’t even need to study…”
Logan scoffed at the idea, opening his text book. “Yes, I do.”
Patton glanced at the textbook, then back at Logan. “Why’s that? You’re the smartest guy I know.”
Logan hung his head slightly, irritation rising in his voice. “Because I must achieve a perfect 100% on each test.”
Patton crossed his arms now, more out of curiosity and concern than anything. “Why?”
At this point, both of Logan’s fists curled into balls, closing his eyes. “Because anything less than that is failing!” His words echoed around the room before it finally grew silent again. He let out a sigh and lowered his head even more, then turned his head, looking away from Patton. His eyes opened but drooped, his eyes and face painfully soft. “I can’t fail this. I can’t… I refuse to become a failure, Patton…” His voice grew soft as well and nearly broke at the end. For once, he was glad Patton couldn’t see the failure in his face, the vulnerability in it, as tears began to swell up in his eyes.
While he hated feeling any strong emotion, he particularly loathed this feeling. Feeling vulnerable, especially when others were around. He would have to lecture and scold himself about this later, he knew. For now, however, he simply tightened his fists and took several deep, quiet, yet shaky breaths.
Without another word, Patton moved to hug Logan tightly . “You aren’t, nor will you ever be, a failure, Logan,” he spoke softly. “You don’t have anyone breathing down your neck anymore, forcing you to get perfect grades.”
Logan was stiff, everything painfully tense. “I can’t… I have to be perfect. I must be…”
Patton pulled away from the hug to look Logan directly in his red, tear-stained eyes. “Logan… perfection is in no way important.” He gave a soft, sad chuckle, “In no means am I perfect, but I’m not a failure. Not by a long-shot. Just because someone isn’t perfect, it doesn’t mean they’re automatically a failure.
Logan pursed his lips and shook his head. “You’re wrong… Maybe to you, sure. However-”
“Logan, stop… You aren’t a failure. I-” he hesitated and let out a breath, looking down. “You already are perfect. At least… you are to me…” He looked back up at him, his face flushed with deep red. “And it pains me to see you holding yourself to such an impossible standard, even years after your parents left the picture, and destroying yourself in the process…”
It seemed that that statement was enough, and Logan broke, no longer able to hold back his tears. Before they could begin falling, he grabbed Patton, burying his head in his friend’s shoulder. For once, he allowed himself to release everything, allowing himself to cry.
Patton hugged back tightly, not caring about the fact his shirt was wet from tears. He hummed a quiet, calming tune that had always helped himself in moments like these. Inwardly, he felt his heart drop at seeing the person he ~~loves~~ cares for broken and hurting this badly. It pained him greatly, but he was also glad that at least Logan wasn’t hurting alone, that he could be here to comfort him in a time of need.
After holding him for several minutes, Patton noticed Logan’s breathing slowly returned to normal, allowing him to finally take long, deep breaths. A small, sympathetic smile flashed across his face as he gently pulled away to look at Logan.
Logan immediately tensed again, refusing to let go. “Please… not yet,” he said softly, “I don’t… I don’t want you to see me like this…” His voice was raw and painfully soft.
Patton nodded, and hugged him once more. “I’ll hold you as long as you need, then, de- Logan.” Without thinking, Patton gently kissed the top of Logan’s head before resting his shin on his friend’s shoulder in order to hug him closely.
Logan was thankful for the second time for the fact that Patton couldn’t see his face, as a wave of blood rushed to his face. After another several minutes, Logan’s grip on Patton loosened as he slowly looked up at him.
Patton had a soft, caring smile as he looked back. He saw a stray tear falling down Logan’s cheek and he delicately placed a hand there, wiping the tear away with his thumb.
Logan flushed again, though he hoped it wasn’t obvious with the red from his crying was still there. “I… apologize for that display, but thank you, Patton. For being here.”
“Well, where else would I be? I’m glad I could help comfort you.”
Logan took a deep breath before pulling away from the hug completely. “We probably should get some rest… I… would you mind staying with me, Pat…?”
“I would never mind.”
The two smiled softly at each other before Logan turned the light off, both of them falling into a peaceful slumber for the night.