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“I hate them.”
Aziraphale is trying to blink, but the alcohol in his system is making it difficult to open his eyes again. He manages it just enough to stare at Crowley.
“What?!”
“Balloons. Nasty things.”
There is the slight upcurl of Crowley’s lips that suggest he really does despise them, and now Aziraphale is confused, pursing his lips.
“They’re wonderful. Why, one of the first things you said to me was about balloons.”
“Lead balloons, Angel, are a metaphor. I think.”
Aziraphale shakes his head, like he still can’t believe Crowley’s dislike. “Do you hate them all the time, or do you just hate the loud noise when they pop?”
Crowley presses his tongue to his teeth, sucking in air and making a noise very similar to that of a deflating balloon.
“Hate everything about them. Sound they make, way they change shape. The feel of them.” Crowley visibly shudders, and Aziraphale clicks his tongue.
“Do you like foil balloons?”
“Oh yes. Nothing wrong with a bit of foil. Funny when you suck the helium out of them. Makes you sound like ones of those squirrels from that film.”
“Chipmunks.”
“Not partial to chipmunks-“
“-no, dear. They’re chipmunks, not squirrels.”
Crowley rolls his shoulders in a shrug. He doesn’t much care what creature they are, just enjoys that they sound high pitched and it is easy to recreate when sucking the air out of a foil balloon.
“So you don’t hate all balloons.”
“Just the non foil kind.” Crowley agrees.
“You don’t like how they feel.”
“Makes my skin itch just thinking about it.”
Aziraphale laughs, light and airy like he just swallowed helium instead of wine. “My dear boy, I think you might have a mild intolerance to latex. It’s what’s used to make balloons, you know.”
Ah, well that would explain why he never could stand the smell of them either. He figured it was just a snake thing.
“Oh.”
“I’ll make a note. Only foil balloons from now onwards.”
“Thanks angel.”
