Chapter Text
REVENGE (as told by Agatha)
For weeks I’ve been flirting with him and dropping hints. For weeks I’ve hiked up my skirt when he was around and wearing high heels that I hate more than I hate myself. For weeks I have been practicing my seductive whisper and eating like a rabbit to lose a few extra pounds. I did all of the things.
Finally, I lost my patience and I asked him out: Tyrannus Basilton “Baz” Grimm-Pitch.
Not only does he come from a wealthy family but he’s an absolute genius in the classroom and he’s beyond talented on the football pitch. I am embarrassed to say that he’s the real reason I got into cheerleading. But yeah, I asked him out.
It was a miracle of sorts because he said, “Sure, yeah, that’s cool. Yeah.”
Was it dreamy? No way. Was it smooth? Not a chance. Was it a date, though? Yes. Yes it was!
We exchanged numbers and arranged a coffee shop date, how cute, right, and I was ecstatic. I bragged to my girlfriends on the squad and posted cryptic messages about it all of my social media accounts. I doodled “Agatha Wellbelove Grimm-Pitch” on scrap paper and then kissed it with my lipstick and sprayed the pages with my perfume. Someday when I married Baz these would be cute tokens of love to share with him.
That was the honeymoon phase over the second I walked into the coffee shop and found Baz laying it on thick with the barista behind the bar. I could spot that type of longing gaze ten miles away because I saw it in my own eyes every single day waiting for Baz to notice me. When I sneak to the counter to greet Baz, I see him passing his number across the counter. It isn’t until I tap his shoulder that he even looks away from the employee.
I lost my appetite and asked if we could go for a walk instead. Baz had already ordered my favorite gingerbread flavored chai, and gestured to the barista working. He gawked openly at him while I tried to make conversation and make it obvious that he was supposed to be on a date with me, but it became painfully obvious to me he never noticed me because I just couldn’t be what he wanted.
I wasn’t a guy.
Baz ended our date by walking me back to my car and saying he’d love to hang out again sometime, maybe at the coffee shop again so that I could have my favorite drink. He played it off so well. I was almost convinced, honestly.
I spent the whole night crying afterwards. For the next week he shared posts that clearly indicated that he had a new muse, and I checked his connections and friends list and follows to see if he was in contact with that barista from the coffee shop. It wasn’t surprised to see that he was and so I knew that despite the whispers at school suggesting that Baz was enamored with me he was really obsessed with barista who? When the truth came out that Baz and I weren’t an item, I wouldn’t be able to live it down.
No, Baz had to go.
That’s why I talked him into a picnic to “de-stress” from the mid-term tests. He claimed to be super interested and very excited. As he kept upselling his enthusiasm, the more I assured him I had everything covered. I’d bring the food and the drinks and we could use my dad’s car, and promises upon promises. What he didn’t know is that every promise I made to him, I made a promise to myself.
I drugged him. I kept him buzzed with screwdrivers because I’m classy, and I laced each of his favorite foods with some Xanax that I nicked while in the locker room while at school. I did research in books to make sure that nobody could easily track my movements so that I wouldn’t overdose Baz before I got him to The Dragon Cave.
The Dragon Cave is a den in the countryside where runaways go when they feel like that have nothing left to live for but aren’t ready to die. Nobody who goes to The Dragon Cave comes back, at least not back home, and it’s a sanctuary of sorts, apparently, because the government cannot and will not pursue any investigations about it. That’s why my plan for revenge is perfect. Nobody will look for Baz if I tell police that he admitted that he was scared to be openly gay and had discussed running away. They would look for him, and then I’d just have to drop a hint that he may have been talking about The Dragon Cave. I’ll play dumb. Nobody will suspect me and nobody will look for him.
And nobody will choose a goofy barista with a crooked smile over me again.