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Finding Peace with You

Summary:

Reader is rescued from HYDRA by none other than the Winter Soldier himself. She might not have been held against her will for long, but she's been changed fundamentally by it. Now she has to rediscover who she is and what she wants before HYDRA makes the choices for her . . . and you can bet it won't be pretty if they do.

Notes:

I'm back! It's been a minute since I've been inspired to write anything. Fitting that it would be another Bucky fic.

This one is a little different than the fics I've written in the past. Before I could see the end from the beginning very clearly and was methodically working my way towards it. This time, I literally just fired up my computer and started to write. It seems almost silly, but it almost feels like the story is writing itself.

I'll be just as surprised as you to see where we end up! But for now, enjoy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Forced Rescue

Chapter Text

“Stay back!” I cried, holding out a shaking hand as though that, physically alone, could stop him from getting any closer to me. He took another step. “I mean it!”

The man in front of me raised his hands as though calming a wild animal. Maybe he was. I had no idea what to think at this point.

“It’s okay doll, I’m not going to hurt you.”

My eyes instinctively flicked to his metal arm. You know, the one blood stained and holding a wicked looking knife.

The man followed my line of sight and sighed.

Very, very slowly, he bent towards the ground and lowered the blade before standing back up, his arms in the air once again. “I’m not going to hurt you doll.” He said again, his voice pitched low. “You’re safe now.”

He took a step towards me, I took a step back, my hand still extended out in front of me. My eyes flitted about the room, looking for a way to escape. Nowhere was safe . . . no one could be trusted.

The man matched my retreating steps, pace for pace. His eyes had an almost hypnotically pleading look about them. “You’re safe now. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.” He kept repeating those same words, over and over, in the same hypnotic tone of voice as he followed me.

His words meant nothing, and I was well aware he was stalling. I was running out of space to back towards. But the only way out of the room I was in was the door behind him, and I’d seen how fast he could move. There was no way I could beat him to it.

My back suddenly hit something warm. Too warm to be the wall. Against my will, a squeak of terror escaped my lips. I whirled around to face this new threat. "Everything will be alright.” Said the strange woman before me, her eyes glowing an eerie red. “Now, sleep.”

Everything went black.

 

 

A steady beeping sound slowly pulled me from the brink of unconsciousness. It was a sound nearly as familiar as the steady beating of my own heart. I was in a hospital. For a brief moment, I forgot what had happened to me. Then, reality came crashing back.

I’d been kidnapped. Lured, really. There’d been blood. So much blood. Not all of it mine. Who knew how long I’d been trapped there. Then came the explosions and the screams. The man with the blood and the knife . . .

I felt my heart rate spike. The heart monitors in the background began beeping frantically. I heard shouts from somewhere further away. I wasn’t going back. I wasn’t.

I bolted out of bed, my flight or fight instinct overpowering every rational thought in my head. I scrambled out of bed, pulling cords attaching me to the heart rate monitors and IVs from my person. I Ignored the blood streaming from my puncture wounds and the threatening tone of the heart rate monitor flat-lining. It didn’t matter, they were coming anyway.

I looked around the room. I had seconds to find a weapon. Maybe less. My eyes locked on to the crash cart on the other side of the room. Perfect.

I raced to it and unceremoniously ripped into it, searching frantically for anything I could use. Suddenly, my searching fingers latched onto a fat syringe with a lethal looking needle on the end of it. I raced to the side of the door and willed my body to remain clam. The adrenaline sweeping through my veins made my heart race frantically and my hands shake.

I took a deep, soothing breath, right as the door beside me crashed open so violently, it slammed into the opposite wall, the door handle embedding itself into the dry wall. Without hesitation, I slammed the syringe into the man’s neck, injecting the preloaded dose of lorazepam directly into him. I pulled the needle out and jumped over his screaming body as it stumbled to the floor. I raced down the hallway, praying I was headed towards the exit and away from any colleagues the man may have had. The adrenaline in my veins kept my legs pumping even as my fear began to creep back in. I kept my hand gripped firmly around the syringe in my hand. The sedative was gone, sure. But I knew from experience just how much damage could be caused by the sharp needle sticking out of the end.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps pounding down the corridor. Muffled shouts echoed after me. “What the hell?”

“Fine! I’ll be fine! Get the girl!”

The adrenaline coursing through me kicked up a notch, and I found myself flying even faster down the hallways. No, no, no. I wasn’t going back. I wasn’t.

I rounded a corner, and heard the footsteps drawing closer to me. These guys didn’t mess around. I couldn’t outrun them. I was just a rat in a maze, one they knew by heart.

My eyes frantically searched the hallway, looking for options.

There! A door!

I ran towards it, flinging it open and shoving myself inside. I pulled it shut behind me and leaned my head against it, breathing heavily. A few moments later, I heard the footsteps run right past my hiding place without slowing down. I let out a ragged breath and took a step away from the door.

A cough sounded behind me. I choked on a scream as I spun around, gripping my needle in both hands.

Metal Arm stood in front of me, looking none too pleased.

I gulped.