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KH3 DLC SNEAK PREVIEW!:
So, Xigbar, being Luxu, was just minding his own business- hanging out in Olympus, because you know, it's a pretty cool world. But sadly Roxas wasn't there to defend his title, which was sad, but also not the point, so we can move on. No, he was actually there to talk about insurance with Goofy, I mean, technically he was supposed to be here to find a new moving place for the Xehanort Organization, but it was important that they have insurance.
Anyway, after that one cutscene that was rudely cut off before Xigbar could finish saying 'may your hear-', he was about to leave, BUT THEN HE GOT HIT WITH A PLAYING CARD! And he wasn't even being suspicious at all so Luxord had no reason to do that ever.
"LUXORD?! Why would you do that?!"
BUT THEN LUXORD THREW ANOTHER PLAYING CARD! But this time Xigbar was prepared so he caught it, and don't worry this is just the scene from the trailer so there aren't SPOILERS.
"Xigbar! How the hay did you catch that? I thought only the Castle Oblivion crew knew how to catch cards!"
"?" said Xigbar, because this didn't make sense: what did the Castle of Eternal Reloads have to do with catching playing cards? Also, Luxord didn't even go to Castle Oblivion, so what does he know?
"Yo, anyway, Xigbar, or should I say not Xigbar 'cause you're obviously hiding something, I was just here to ask you a question. And it's not about playing games (sadly)."
"What, nO," said Xigbar, who couldn't have LUXord know he was LUXu: that would just ruin everything.
"Who are you, Xigbar?" said Luxord.
THEN LUXORD REMEMBERED THAT ONE TIME IN THE KH NOVELS WHERE HE WAS PLAYING GAMES WITH AXEL AND THEN XIGBAR CAME AND HE ASKED HIM TO JOIN THE GAME BUT THEN XIGBAR WAS ALL LIKE "NO" AND SO THAT MEANT MAYBE XIGBAR WAS ALWAYS THE WORST.
"Nvm I don't care anymore bye," said Luxord, who was about to cry as he remembered that moment.
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," said Xigbar out of confusion.
'That was weird; I wasn't even being suspicious. Why is Luxord suddenly like this? Oh, well, I just need to Re: Mind myself not to talk to that guy again,' thought Xigbar, who had thought Luxord was a pretty cool guy until now, oh well.
"I guess the question is who are you, LUXORD?" said Xigbar, making Luxord suddenly the most suspicious character in KH.
The Xigbar threw away the playing card because he didn't need it anymore.
But then LUXORD came back and was like, "Oh, and btw, I'll be-"
Then he saw the playing card that was so rudely tossed to the ground.
"XIGBAR WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! THE REST OF THE ORGANIZATION MUST KNOW ABOUT THIS! #BETRAYAL! THE PLAYING CARD DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU, YOU JERK!"
But then XIGBAR was like, "Dude, chill, it's just a playing card."
That was a huge mistake on Xigbar's part, obviously, he should know by now not to hate on playing cards in front of Luxord.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"Dude, chill, it's just a playing card."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU'RE DOING BUT THROWING AWAY THAT PLAYING CARD IS THE LAST STRAW XIGBAR! NOW WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GO TO CASTLE OBLIVION SO YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO APPRECIATE CARDS!"
"Wait, wait, wait- ya gotta think this through, right, Luxord? We don't have to go there. I mean, come on, dude. We don't need to go that far."
But since Xigbar clearly needed to learn how gr8 it is to fight with cards, and Castle Oblivion is somewhere where you have to, Luxord wasn't gonna give Xigbar much of a choice. Now Xigbar, being Luxu, could've just teleported out of there, were it not for XEMNAS suddenly coming and saying:
"Castle Oblivion? You know, not all of the Organization has been there, so this is gonna be a great family bonding experience!"
But then he saw that Luxord and Xigbar were in the middle of a FIGHT!
"Oh no, we DEFINITELY need that family bonding experience now!" Xemnas said as he teleported to tell Xehanort what they needed to do.
Xigbar and Luxord exchanged glances; neither of them was happy about this.
"NOW look what you did!" they shouted at the same time.
Then the KH3 Re: Mind Logo comes and gets crossed out then changes into:
Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories 2.0
(and that Xehanort scene is a flashback that Demyx AKA the MoM has so that's how it fits in)
"XEHANORT I NEED TO TAKE THE OLD ORGANIZATION MEMBERS WHO DIDN'T GET SENT TO CASTLE OBLIVION TO CASTLE OBLIVION FOR A FAMILY BONDING EXPERIENCE!" Xemnas shouted while teleporting to their meeting room.
"Wait? What does that have to do with the X-BLADE?" asked Xehanort.
"I don't know, but Xigbar and Luxord had a FIGHT!" Xemnas explained.
"Oh no! Well, then you should go," said Xehanort, who understood the importance of the situation.
So, then, logically, the next step was to kill Dilan so he could turn back into Xaldin, so that's exactly what Xemnas did.
Dilan thought he was done dealing with this Xemnas guy and was like, "Really, Xemnas?"
But then he got killed and turned into Xaldin again.
And Xaldin was like, "REALLY? XEMNAS?!"
"Yes, Xaldin, we have to go on a Family Bonding Experience to Castle Oblivion! Since not all of us got to go last time and also because of Luxord and Xigbar!"
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Xaldin.
"Yep!" replied Xemnas, smiling.
Xaldin shrugged and decided there was no point in arguing.
Then they all met at Radiant Garden to prepare for Castle Oblivion.
"OK! Is everyone here?" Xemnas asked.
Demyx, Saix, Xaldin, Luxord, and Xigbar all nodded.
"But what about Xion and Roxas?" asked Nobody (so it could've been any of them).
"OH NO! THIS IS TERRIBLE!" exclaimed Xemnas.
Then Xion remembered she was part of the Xehanort Organization now, so she came and was like, "Hey! Sorry, I'm late!"
And then Roxas returned early because he wanted to (I mean, I guess it could be Data-Roxas).
"Guys, I can't be here long though," said Roxas.
"Good! Now, are you all ready for this family bonding experience?"
The rest of them groaned; they thought they wouldn't have to deal with this anymore now that most of them were Xehanorts and Xemnas wasn't in charge anymore. And poor Dilan (who was now Xaldin) thought he wouldn't have to deal with this Organization nonsense at all after being re-completed, but now here he was, a Nobody once again, going on yet another family bonding experience.
Last Minute to Castle Oblivion (Again):
"So, do we need a Basement gang and an Upstairs gang?"
"I guess," replied Xigbar.
"Well, then, we'll divide it like last time," Xemnas suggested.
"What do you mean?" asked Roxas.
"1,2, and 3 will be the New Basement Gang, and the rest of you are the New Upstairs Gang."
"Okay, Xemnas..."
"Ew, but then I can't fight Xigbar!" said Luxord.
"Good. Anyway, the basement gang can visit the upstairs gang anytime."
"But isn't that what Vexen did and then Axel killed him," Xigbar pointed out.
"Yes, but that won't happen this time. Since obviously none of you want to betray the organization," said Xemnas.
Then they all looked at each other suspiciously.
"I guess," said Xaldin, "but I'm not even in the New Organization."
"Because you're not Xehanort enough," explained Xigbar, who thought this needed explanation even though it was obvious.
"Yeah, duh, I knew that."
"I'm not Xehanort either, so let's just go," Roxas grumbled impatiently.
"Go where?" asked Xemnas.
"To Castle Oblivion?" Roxas said, "Duh?"
"Oh, yeah, let's go, everyone. Family Bonding Experience!"
Xigbar shuddered as he realized that they actually WERE going to Castle Oblivion.
"Guys, do we HAVE to-"
"YES XIGBAR!"
"Castle Oblivion Time!" shouted Demyx.
And so, The Organization Members Who Didn't Get Sent to Castle Oblivion Last Time gang was off to Castle Oblivion!
Floor 1 (I guess)
Xemnas burst through the Castle Oblivion doors, "FAMILY BONDING EXPERIENCE!"
But then Xemnas suddenly got Re: Minded of something!
"Oh no! I used to live here!" Xemnas said to himself, "I have to find my friends!"
Then Xemnas ran off, ignoring the fact he was supposed to be in the basement gang.
"Oh, well, there goes Xemnas, let's leave-"
"NO XIGBAR!"
"I'm going to upstairs," Roxas announced.
Then he teleported to the room where the Upstairs gang hung out last time.
"I want to fight someone," Luxord said because he wanted to use his new CARDS.
"Well, not me I hope LOL," said Xigbar, who was trying to hide his fear of the Castle of Eternal Reloads.
"Yes, you, Xigbar you need to learn how to love playing cards!"
Xigbar was about to say that he had nothing against playing cards BUT THEN XALDIN CAME AND WAS LIKE, "Xigbar, let's go, we're the Basement Gang now."
"LOL oh yeah, bye Luxord!" said Xigbar as he teleported away.
But Luxord smirked EVILLY because he had an EVIL PLAN!
"Lol, Xigbar is forgetting that the Basement Gang and Upstairs Gang can visit each other..." Luxord accidentally said aloud.
Saix shook his head in disgust, "Luxord, don't be Axel."
"What do you mean?"
"I MEAN DON'T BE AXEL SHUT UP LUXORD!" Saix shouted for no reason.
"Um, okay then..." said Luxord.
Anyway, this was all very dramatic, but as LUXORD was planning his evil plan while trying not to be Axel (whatever that means), a certain Demyx was thinking about how he was actually the Master of Masters and if he told someone that here it was okay because this was Castle Oblivion, and everybody forgets what happens in Castle Oblivion. Unfortunately for Demyx, he forgot most of them were Nobodies, so he's probably going to make a VERY BAD mistake later.
Floor 13 (I think)
Meanwhile, Roxas and Xion were taking this seriously and decided to plot to take over the Organization.
"Oh, sweet," said Saix, who had caught up with the upstairs gang, "I love taking over the Organization!"
"WAIT! I thought you said we couldn't be Axel?" Luxord complained.
"Um, no I said you shouldn't be Axel," Saix explained, "None of us are being Axel anyway."
"Yeah, idot, if we were AXEL, we would run around betraying everyone and killing Vexen," Xion explained.
"And we're not doing that, we're just plotting to take over the Organization," Saix and Roxas nodded.
"Um, okay...when can I fight Xigbar?" asked Luxord.
"UGH UM NEVER YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AXEL NOW DO YOU?!" asked Saix.
'There goes my time-traveling plan...' Luxord thought with a sigh.
Anyway, the Upstairs Gang continued to be the classic Upstairs Gang, and the Basement Gang was being TORN APART, and Demyx and Xemnas were nowhere to be found.
The Basement
Anyway, Xigbar and Xaldin were the only members of the Basement Gang right now, and Xaldin was upset. I mean as upset as he could be without a heart WHICH HE HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK only for it to be TAKEN again by XEMNAS who was now nowhere to be found. I mean, can you believe that Xemnas guy?
So, understandably, Xaldin began to complain.
"Wow, Xemnas, I can't believe you've done this."
"IKR!? Castle Oblivion is the WORST!" Xigbar agreed.
"UM, WHAT? No, that's not what I'm talking about."
Xigbar, who was also Luxu, didn't understand what everyNobody thought was so great about the Castle of Eternal Reloads, so he was left to complain about his stupid problems that Nobody cares about by himself.
"Anyway, I'm leafing, I'll brb," Xaldin announced.
"Okay, whatevs, guess I'll just stay here then," Xigbar waved goodbye.
And so, Xigbar was left as the only member of the New Basement Gang. Of course.
"Well lol at least if I'm by myself I don't have to fight anyone lol no reloads here," Xigbar shrugged.
Anyway, Xigbar very well can't be Classic Xigbar if he's left by himself, because then there was no one around to prank or ANYTHING. And he can't use his guns and shoot things because RELOADS, guys, RELOADS.
So, Xigbar waited for like, 3 hours for Xaldin, which isn't very long, considering, but still, it was very suspicious that Xaldin had been gone for more than 30 minutes.
Not only that, but Xemnas hadn't returned yet either.
"Wow, these guys are almost as bad as the Foretellers were, lol at least when I get those guys back they won't straight up ABANDON me because I'm Luxu, lol totally not."
Xigbar, who hadn't seen the Foretellers in 1000s of years, is forgetting a VERY IMPORTANT fact, which is that he's LOSER-SHOE and therefore the Foretellers probably would abandon the first chance they got (after making fun of his loserness, of course).
Anyway, just as Xigbar was about to say more SPOILERS about himself being Luxu this whole time, Xemnas appeared!
And Xigbar was like, "GAH! XEMNAS!"
And Xemnas was like, "Ew, Xigbar."
So, anyway, Xigbar was so SHOCKED at XEMNAS coming that he accidentally had summoned his arrow guns, which was a problem because, as we all know, with Xigbar's GUNS you have to RELOAD, and they were in Castle Oblivion, which means EVEN MORE RELOADS!
So, anyway, Xemnas was like, "Sorry, Xigbar, it's just I couldn't find any of my friends here. :'("
"Sucks to be you then lol," said Xigbar rudely and then he had to RELOAD.
"XIGBAR! HOW RUDE!" Xemnas scolded.
But then, Xigbar had a REALIZATION! Maybe XALDIN had gone looking for XEMNAS, and that's why he had LEFT! So, naturally, Xigbar had to ask Xemnas where Xaldin was.
"HEy-RELOAD- where's -RELOAD- Xaldin?-RELOAD-?" Xigbar asked between reloads.
Xemnas shrugged, unsure of where Xaldin was.
Then Xigbar was about to say something else, but he had to reload again.
I hat Castle Oblivion... thought Xigbar.
"..." said Xemnas sadly.
Floor 13 Again.
"Lol we're so evil," said Roxas, Xion, and Saix.
'I have to get out of here...' thought Luxord.
And no one questioned Demyx's absence.
Floor 9
The Master of Masters, AKA Demyx, was standing around floor nine, which, for some reason, had a Winnie the Pooh room in it.
"Well, that's weird," said Demyx, "I guess I remember the Winnie the Pooh world for some reason? Or maybe it's leftover from when Sora was here..."
Anyway, Demyx shrugged this off and decided to go play mini-games and hang out with his Winnie the Pooh friends.
Or he would...if it weren't for a random XALDIN appearing. And then Demyx remembered that Castle Oblivion was a perfect place to be the Master of Masters without anyone getting suspicious.
'Oh, yeah! Lol, I can just go back to being the MoM here cause everybody forgets anyway,' thought Demyx. Again, this would have been logical thinking, if it weren't for them being NOBODIES and therefore they wouldn't forget Castle Oblivion.
"Oh, ew, it's just a Demyx," said Xaldin, who, being selfish, wanted to get the highest score on the blustery day mini-game.
"I'm the MoM," Demyx announced instinctively.
Then there was an awkward silence.
"..." said Xaldin.
"..." said the Master of Masters.
"D-did that just happen?" asked Xaldin.
"Um, I think so?" Demyx answered.
"In that case...WHY THE HAY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!"
Demyx had no idea. It had just blurted out because he was thinking about how he could just tell everyone here.
"Well, it's Castle Oblivion here, right? So, you'll forget everything anyway and it doesn't matter that I told you, duh."
"ihrfoaiesfhaihflvkwjerhlkuhnioxhrxueamogexigdiwe I can't believe the Master of Masters is an actual IDIOT!"
"Hey now! That's rude!"
Xaldin facepalmed, wishing he hadn't found out about this shocking plot twist, he wanted to go back to thinking of the Master of Masters as this cool, mysterious guy and not, well, you know...Demyx.
Unfortunately for Xaldin, it was too late now.
"But Castle Oblivion doesn't erase the memories of Nobodies," Xaldin explained.
"GASP! I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING! UGH! I HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE SO HOW SHOULD I KNOW THAT?!"
Demyx couldn't believe this. After ALL THESE YEARS, a stupid mistake like THAT. Anyway, Xaldin was still in a state of shock and denial after that plot twist, so he went over to the door to Winnie the Pooh land.
"Wait! Xaldin, you're not gonna tell anyone, are you?"
Xaldin, who was now slightly terrified of Demyx, turned around. How could this guitar guy be the legendary Master of Masters? Obviously, he must be a pretty powerful guy, right? So, it was in Xaldin's best interest to keep this a secret.
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone," said Xaldin, who now avoided meeting Demyx's eye.
"Okay good. Also, come on, dude, stop acting like that. MoM! Demyx is literally not even different than Non-MoM! Demyx, except for being the MoM of course, but it's not even that scary."
"Tho I am glad the plot twist was EPIC AND MIND-BLOWING enough for you to be all shocked, so this is working out as a great practice run lol."
Xaldin just nodded, unsure of what to say.
"So, anyway, you wanna go play some mini-games or something?" asked the MoM.
"W-with you?! The Master of Masters?" Xaldin stuttered.
"Um, yeah, duh, I'm asking you, so..."
Xaldin sighed, first Demyx was an idiot, and now, he's the Master of Masters, so Xaldin really didn't know what to say to this.
In the end, Xaldin decided since playing mini-games was what they both wanted to do anyway, he might as well go.
"Okay, sure," Xaldin agreed.
"YAY!" said the Master of Masters.
ANYWAY, Xaldin thought that this was probably the worst situation ever, because not only was Demyx an idiot, but also the Master of Masters wasn't as cool as he thought he would be.
Still, at least they had fun playing the Winnie-the-Pooh mini-games.
THE END BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE WRITING THIS AND RE: MIND IS ACTUALLY COMING OUT SOON, SO...