Work Text:
Late Season 5
“You don’t have to do that.” Astrid lifted her head from the pillow. They had just finished some exciting activities and Hiccup had rolled right over to put his pants on. Like right back on. Like before the cuddle even.
She hadn’t noticed this issue the first time they had been intimate. How as he was removing his pants, he made sure to stick the stump of his left leg beneath a blanket. She was too busy paying attention to more exciting things.
But she had noticed it since. Even when he got over that new intimacy awkwardness about letting her see him naked, his disbelief that she found a scrawny fishbone attractive, he still made sure to keep the stump covered. He always had a blanket. He was quick to put on his pants. He never said anything about it, but she noticed.
“Don’t have to do what?” Hiccup pulled up the loose linen sleep pants and tied the waist, staring at something terribly interesting across the room
“You don’t have to put your pants on.” Astrid sat up.
“Huh...oh...I’m just cold.” Hiccup shrugged his shoulders and flashed Astrid a strained smile.
“Uh, huh.” Astrid looked Hiccup straight in the eye, but he quickly started studying his hands.
“Okay… I don't… I don’t want you to have to look at... or touch...my scars.” Hiccup got back into bed, but still didn’t look at her.
“Why not?” she asked gently, putting her hand on his chest. They were new to this level of physical intimacy, but it’s not like she hadn’t known he had a fake leg. He didn’t seem to have a problem joking about the leg, but then the stump was always covered.
“Why not? Because it’s awful!” Disgust clear in his face.
“You have other scars…” Astrid lightly traced a burn scar on his forearm.
“But those are small.” He looked at the scar she had traced. It was just one of a dozen such small marks from smithing. Strange how those scars earned by crafting didn’t bother him at all, but the ones earned in battle disgusted him. “My leg is... really bad, Astrid. I don’t want you to have to see it... or to have it touch you.”
“But I have seen it; I have touched it.” She sat up so she could look him in the eye. “I saw and touched it when it was a lot worse.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You have? When?”
“When it first happened.” She took his hands in her. “Don’t you remember?”
In fact, he didn’t remember. He fell in that awful battle with the Red Death and then woke up in his bed. He was vaguely aware that he had been unconscious for a week, that Gothi had worked hard to save his life, that they feared he wouldn’t live. He liked to pretend that he had just magically woken up with a stump, but deep down, he knew it had been awful. Sometimes, he would have dreams of pain, blood, and screams. But he pushed those memories down.
“I was there when Gothi…” Astrid paused, she didn’t want to make him even more upset by discussing the details. She didn’t want to relive it herself. The charred, crumbling bone. The blood. The smell of burnt flesh. Hiccup had screamed even though he was unconscious as Gothi had sawed off the ruined part of his leg. Stoick had held him down, while Astrid held his hand. Astrid had insisted on being there, when all the adults said she was too young to deal with this. Astrid had vomited after Gothi finished. Stoick had too. The nights she had sat in a chair by his bed, praying to all the gods that he would pull through. Feeling so guilty. Feeling for the first time that maybe she loved this kind, smart, heroic, stupid boy.
“...worked on you. It doesn’t bother me.” She smiled at him. “Really. I knew what I was getting when I started getting naked with…” She waved her hand at his body and grinned. “...all of this.”
“I didn’t know that.” He was quiet then. This was a revelation. He had no idea that Astrid had been there. His first memory of her after the battle was the kiss outside of his house.
“Do whatever you want” Astrid said, trying to break the tension and snuggling sleepily into his side. “Just know that you don’t have to hide anything from me. Ever.” Astrid yawned and closed her eyes. “And that I’m not sleeping in clothes with you. Ever.”
“Thank you” Hiccup murmured into her hair, snuggling down himself. He was going to keep the scars covered for now, but maybe not forever.